Seder Anything - Part 1 of 3 - A Dreamlike State

Serena returns to the Upper East Side as a wife, thanks to Gabriel and a surplus of rioja.  While she tries to avoid Gabriel and seek out an annulment with Cyrus' help, he and Eleanor prepare to host their first Seder together.  Invited are Lily and Rufus--better to help Eleanor dodge Cyrus' critical mother--and Dan, in his first job as a cater-waiter.  Invited but refusing to appear is Blair, who is determined to win over the Van der Bilt family at Tripp's wedding.  Uninvited is Chuck, occupied with sleeping with the entire Bolshoi, and Jenny, who stays back at Lily's to woo a classmate with Monopoly and takeout.

We open the episode with another of Blair's dream sequences--this time from My Fair Lady.  In it, she is both the pre and post Eliza. (I just realized that Pygmalion could very well be the original makeover story.)

It's deliciously ironic that Blair not only makes such a great bedraggled Eliza Dolittle, but that she would dream herself as such.

Love this hat on Blair.  Maybe she can transition from headbands to hats?

Why so glum, Queen B?



You're sleeping alone, but at least you're sleeping in that wonderfully ruffled black lace nightwear.

Blair's fabulous outfit is what you get when you cross a UES Princess with Mondo Guerra from Project Runway.  Her yellow, white, and black patterned blouse is the perfect foil for the black and white polka-dotted skirt.  And how amazing does Blair's hair look?  Eat your heart out, Duchess of Cambridge.

Blair seems to have developed an obsession with outerwear the color of split pea soup.



The details of this double-breasted jacket are chic, but the color is just plain ugly.

And even worse, she wears it not only to the rehearsal, but the rehearsal dinner!



Blech.

The dress she dons for the dinner is a vast improvement, though.



I like the high collar and the purple and gray watercolor effect of the fabric.

What isn't so great?



She's apparently developed tumor-like symptoms after too many headbands.  A tip for the future: sophisticated dresses and big purple hair bows are not synonymous.

Nate, as Eliza Dolittle's companion, is delightfully polished and handsome.



Even better, there is no blue in sight.  Love the ascot and the brownish-gray jacket that brings out the highlights in his hair.

Of course we know that outside of a dreamlike state, Nate is in love with the color blue and employs even the most basic of fashion principles sparsely.



Like in this outfit, in which he dons three seperates he knows a little too well: the peacoat, the sweater, and the bland baby blue button-up.

For his turn as best man at Tripp's wedding, Nathaniel is still incapable of making any overly exciting sartorial decisions.



The pinstripes are vaguely verging on stylish, but just as they're about to kick off a style party, he squashes it with a bland tie and shirt.

The Grandfather, unlike his grandson, cuts a chic figure in another of his shawl collar sweaters.



Does it surprise anyone that this one is blue?  Love the pop of color with his yellow tie.  If you look close enough, you can see the light blue accents in the pattern.  Grandfather Van der Bilt, if he sticks around, might be capable of giving Chuck a run for his money.



His rehearsal attire gave me hope that we might have another eminently stylish male character on this show, but Grandfather's wedding rehearsal suit is just boring.  The checkered tie and white shirt is just playing it too safe.

As for the bride and groom, they stumble more than they succeed.

Maureen apparently decides it's not just a wedding rehearsal but a dress rehearsal.



She could just keep this white lace atrocity on and get married in it.  Most of the guests might not even notice the difference.  Note the headband--it's the only item that saved Blair's tumor from winning the Worst Headband of the Episode award.

Faced with his bride, who wore the most saccharine ensemble in the world, Tripp tried to go edgy with his light pink shirt and contrasting purple and green striped tie. 

You, sir, are no Chuck Bass.  Go back home and try again.

Seder Anything - Part 2 of 3 - Bolshoi Part Deux

While Blair goes behind Nate's back to secure her socialite status and a position on the Whitney junior committee, Chuck reverts to his old ballet dancer-ways.

This time, it's a ballerina from the Bolshoi, and it's past history in more ways than one.



That skirt is ridiculously short, but then if I had legs like that, I too might be tempted to show them off to Chuck Bass.

Her gold sequinned tank is a bit flashy, but I suppose the Russians are into that heavy-handed gilded look. Snaps to the wardrobe crew for keeping things character-appropriate.

Chuck isn't just back to ballerinas, he's rocking the blue silk paisley robe and matching pajamas again.





Love this view of a delightfully mussed Chuck.  As much as I love him all buttoned up and eminently fashionable, I'll take this version any day.

He rarely shows his vulnerable side, but here, you can see the events of the last year creeping up on him.



And it's in this pose that he utters the quote I believe completely sums up the point of Gossip Girl:  "It's stupid of you to want her to be anything other than she is."  Once in awhile our dear Bass says something so blazingly profound, you wish he wouldn't keep it buried with ballerinas or booze.

Jenny is on the prowl again, but this time, she has her sights set on her project partner Wes.  His mother owns a catering company (wait a tick...do you think his mother could be Gossip Girl?) and gets Dan a job to help him earn money for Yale.  Jenny thanks him by inviting him into the lap of luxury, aka Lily's penthouse.

She must have changed, because instead of deploying the cutest outfit she could to impress Wes, she chooses not to comb her hair.



At the very least, she isn't wearing that hideous raccoon makeup.

Later, for their "Monopoly date," she doesn't even bother changing her outfit, keeping on the same blah gray tank and black jeans combo she wore earlier.

As for Wes himself, maybe Jen realizes he is completely clueless when it comes to fashion.



But ugly clothes and terrible hair aside, he does know how to sport plaid.  Plaid and a Humphrey--it must be love!

Seder Anything - Part 3 of 3 - An Unfortunate Annulment

Cyrus and Eleanor are hosting their first Seder, complete with Cyrus' "Shmutz Happens" apron.

It's hard to believe he's a highly successful lawyer, but he's the man Serena seeks out to help get her marriage annulled.



The olive gray of his jacket, coupled with ivory shirt and periwinkle tie, suits him down to the ground.

Eleanor breaks out the shiny, unflattering fabrics again, but at least this time it isn't a neutral.



I do love her pearl necklaces, and her gray slacks are very flattering.

And thank you God, she finally found an outfit that isn't shiny! Eleanor truly looks like a million bucks.  Or maybe a billion Waldorf bucks.



Love the black sheath, with the fitted black jacket.  It is a bit shiny, but the shine is understated enough that I will give her a free pass.  In addition, the rock crystal necklace is a stunning, attention-getting piece that screams "look at me!"

Onto another stylish mother, we have Lily, who is still trying to hide her pregnancy.  Or rather, Kelly Rutherford's pregnancy.  Tell Rufus--it'll make dressing a lot easier.

Gorgeous, luxurious gray cashmere.  Lily looks stunning in this color.  Love the extra pop of the amethyst jewelry and the purple bag.

That is a lot of necklace.  Like Eleanor loves her shiny seperates, Lily can't stay away from the overblown jewelry.  



There's a germ of a good idea inside of the necklace, but it's just too much--too much size on the pendant, too many strands, too many jewels.  But j'adore her chunky topaz earrings.

Rufus, as usual, goes the opposite direction of his lady love.



That horrible parchment-colored, wrinkly shirt is just plain ugly.  And that brown coat does not help his case.

Serena, the wife of the hour, returns from Spain sans husband Gabriel, eager to obtain an annulment.



This outfit of Serena's is the cream of what she does best--a simple pair of skinny jeans, a cute tunic, with a cropped leather jacket.  Even her hair is just the right shade of bedhead.

Even better, I love what she wears to lawyer up.



Sequins are Serena's best friend, so not a surprise, she dons them in cardigan form, like armor.  Plus, her black tunic patterned with feathers.  And she even found time to brush her hair!  Sort of.  It's no season one coif, but at this point we'll take what we can get.

The best part of this outfit though, is the awesome blue trench she wears as a topper.

Serena's husband Gabriel reappears on the UES, and he brings his golden boy good looks. Why does she want to divorce him?



Oh, right. Because he doesn't have a tailor.  That suit jacket just hangs on him, and the color palette is just plain boring.

The best part of this outfit is the plaid scarf, with its blues, blacks and just the pop of green.





Dan, the erstwhile rival for Serena's affections, unfortunately spends 10% of the episode in the same hideous brown coat I begged Eric Daman to replace a few weeks ago.

And the rest of the episode, he wears a cater-waiter uniform, with more flair than he wears a lot of his clothes.

Let's review: Dan looks better in a uniform that in clothes he's chosen of his own volition. Ouch.