Carnal Knowledge - Part 1 of 3 - The Warring Factions

Episode Synopsis:  Rachel, Corn Queen and Teacher Nemesis Extroardinaire, takes her war with Blair to another level with her newest idea--no cell phones in school.  Blair and the Constance Minions fire back with a salvo that might destroy all the Queen B holds dear.  Chuck wakes up from his own Eyes Wide Shut experience and enlists the not-so-helpful Nate and Vanessa to assist him in tracking down the masked woman he cavorted with the night before.

We open with Blair finishing her community service picking up trash in Central Park, and I'm reminded of convicts who do similar work on the side of the highways. Only, instead of a bright orange jumpsuit, Blair dons this orange double-breasted coat with a very flattering empire waist.

 

And I love the extra buckle detail on the back.

Underneath, Blair naturally has on one of her fabulous school "uniforms".



Or rather, it's fabulous from the waist up.  Blair's cream cardigan complete with navy blue bow-tie is charming, but the bulky, ill-fitting blue brocade skirt isn't.

Blair wears some really beautifully vibrant colors this episode.  I don't like the overt shininess of this top, but the color is sumptuous...much like her "I'm not a convict" orange coat.

And then what does she do? She hits it out of the park by pairing it with this gorgeous deep teal coat.

Even her devastation over losing Yale to Nelly Yuki doesn't stop Blair from scheming or from looking her best.



You can only figure out just how depressed she is by the droopiness of her brunette waves, but as usual she does no wrong with her cream and navy embellished shell and cardigan set.

Blair's adversary, the sickly sweet Rachel Carr, actually dresses somewhat similiar to the Queen B, except that she lacks Blair's knack for color and details.

This simple ivory blouse with gold buttons isn't so bad, except when Rachel pairs it with this bland khaki skirt straight from some Midwest mall:

You'd think adding some color would help the situation, but...no. The one color she boasts all episode is this violet sweater with oversized sleeves, but even then it's not quite the jewel tone she's looking for. The fit is just unfortunate, making her flat where she should be curvy, and vice versa.

But, maybe this is just conservative daytime wear? You might assume that she dresses up a bit more at night, right?

You know what they say about assuming. When the sun goes down Rachel gets out the bland argyle.

Harold is his usual dapper self, rocking the argyle in a way Miss Carr can't. It's perfection with a blue and gray sweater, complete with plaid pants.

In fact, Harold seems to greatly enjoy plaid pants, as he chooses another pair for the Constance-St. Jude teacher's meeting.



Love the mixed patterns here--you can definitely see why Blair digs Chuck's wardrobe, considering what she's used to at home.  

The Mean Girls have taken a page out of the book of their namesakes, except instead of wearing pink on Wednesdays, I bet you the Constance girls have a conference call every morning to decide their uniform for the day.

Today's theme?



Brightly colored coats.  I especially love Nelly Yuki's sunny yellow with the exaggerated frog closures.  And how gorgeous does Penelope look in that shade of purple?

After their cell phones are confiscated by Miss Carr, the Mean Girls are more than on board with Blair's plan of Shock and Awe.


 
It's too bad that what's really shocking here is Isabel's hideous orange ruffled sweater.  On the other hand, Penelope and Nelly deport themselves admirably, opting for simple clean lines and more bright colors.  The Mean Girls, Isabel especially, need to favor a more streamlined approach. Perhaps they can take a cue from Nelly, with her simple navy tie and subtly detailed gold cardigan.  Topped off with some gold cat-eye glasses, she's purrr-fection. (Sorry, can't resist a good fashion pun.)

Carnal Knowledge - Part 2 of 3 - The Victims

What is it specifically that Blair uses as a salvo to end the battle between her and Miss Carr? She posts that the lily-white Corn Queen is having an affair with Dan. You know, Dan Humphrey. Lonely Boy?



You would think Blair would be careful to make up a rumor that doesn't strain credibility.  After all, does a grown woman really want to have an affair with a boy who can't even be bothered to tuck his shirt in?

The untucked shirts are becoming as bad a phenomena as the lack of belts.  Even Rufus, who is old enough to know better, still can't manage to tuck his damn shirt in.

He looks sloppy and - compared to his lovely lady - just plain pathetic.  Lily herself looks particularly ravishing, which makes it all the worse.



Love her slim black sweater, paired with the dark turquose blouse.  She adds just the right amount of sparkle with her earrings.

Later when hearing from Headmistress Queller, Lily adds a heavy gold necklace with her simple brown tunic blouse.  The opposite of her man friend, she is undeniably polished and sophisticated.

As for Lily's daughter...Serena is still young enough that her choices tend to be hit or miss.

I vote a big hit for Serena's school uniform here.



Love her gray striped sweater; I'm toasty warm just looking at her.  And unlike Dan and Rufus' sloppy shirts, Serena's is a style choice, and it works here, paired with her loose tie and short plaid skirt.

Not a fan of Serena's overly detailed coat. If only she'd lose those ridiculous ruffled wings on her arms. Clearly she didn't get the Mean Girls memo that morning.





This other striped sweater Serena dons is absolutely adorable.  Love the dark skinny jeans and her silver necklace.



Even though it's winter, she's naturally exposing her two most valuable assets.

Clearly, Queen B intervened in Serena's outerwear department, because this royal purple wool coat is so much better than the winged affair from earlier.



Sleek and sophisticated, paired with that gorgeous big tote.

Carnal Knowledge - Part 3 of 3 - The Mystery Women

While Blair is planning a Stage 3 Takedown of Miss Carr, Chuck is waking up in a strange hotel, in a strange bed, with vague memories of a party and a masked woman he doesn't know. You know, a typical Tuesday for Mr. Bass.

Even hungover, drugged and still dressed in last night's clothes, Chuck Bass cuts an impressive figure.



The navy blue velvet blazer is a bit Hugh Hefner, but Chuck wears it well, especially paired with the complementary blue shirt and ascot.

Really Chuck does color-on-color beautifully.  Love this brown turtleneck and the swingin' sixties tan blazer with matching trim.

Elle, his mystery woman, only appears to him in the dark, and so we don't get more than a glimpse of her clothing.  But suffice it to say, she is just as lovely as Chuck claims.  Just not as lovely as Blair.

And of course, Vanessa can't compare to either of them.



Though I do like her gold paisley earrings.

Bravo, Vanessa!  Pairing a wild, colorful print with a cardigan that's only one color.  That's real progress!





But what's real progress is this copycat outfit that Vanessa dons to seduce Nate a la Chuck Bass.



The black trench is so chic, and the black lace mask is the perfect touch.

As for her boyfriend, he's still wearing St. Jude's uniforms even though we haven't seen him set foot in a classroom in episodes.

It's a good thing he's still hot.  Otherwise, he might not get any of our precious attention.