The Magnificent Archibalds - Part 1 of 3 - Jailbirds

Episode Recap:  Thanksgiving on the Upper East Side is usually good for a main dish of drama, with a side of gossip and betrayal.  This year is no exception, with Blair and Eleanor graciously (or not so graciously) welcoming Cyrus to the family; Nate becoming re-embroiled with the Captain's legal woes, and even worse, Vanessa again; Jenny embracing a choppier haircut, more eyeliner than Joan Jett and legal emancipation from plaid shirts and Humphreys; and finally, Lily, Serena and Eric discovering that Bart's protective nature comes with baggage in the form of extensive dossiers.

Each recap, I wonder if describing Nate's wrinkled school uniform . . .



and blue-of-every-shade attire . . .

. . .is really worth the time. And then I really look at him, and I remember why I do it.  Of course, both of these outfits would be significantly improved if he was wearing a few less layers--or no layers at all.  Unfortunately, gratuitous shirtlessness doesn't really work in November in New York.

Nate and his mother Anne are still struggling with their depleted financial situation after the Captain skipped out of town and out of any familial responsibility. This does not mean that Anne Archibald can look anything less than fabulous, though.



Lovely camel coat, and I love the structured bag with orange and gold accents.  Even her hair looks perfectly done, although it's likely she did it instead of Elizabeth Arden.

When your husband returns home after an extensive absence in Dominca, it's inadvisable to abandon your flawless outerwear only to reveal this lumpy, unflattering gray plaid dress.  The fit is off, with the bodice and waistline bunching unpleasantly in several places, giving poor Anne a sad and pathetic vibe.  Definitely not fabulous, my dear.




As for the Captain, he returns from Dominica--which is a location I've never even heard of before the advent of Gossip Girl--definitely looking like a man on the run.



At least like a man who steals (borrows) from his son's closet.  I swear we've seen Nate wear this exact same sweater, except of course, he wore it in blue.

After the Captain works his illegal money-grubbing magic, extracting blackmail money out of the Van der Bilts, he manages to dress a whole lot snazzier.



Love the blue pin-striped suit jacket paired with the deep red polo-collared shirt.

With the Captain back in town, and the FBI hot on his trail, Nate has a major decision in front of him. Unfortunately it's not whether he should start dressing more like Chuck Bass.



On second thought, could anyone else have that je ne sais quoi that Chuck employs so dangerously? The fit of his jacket is simply superb and the color coordination between his shirt and tie is flawless.

Basically, Nate couldn't be Chuck even if he wanted to be...



...because being groomed by high-priced Asian prostitutes and lounging around in silk paisley robes are two occupations that only Chuck Bass can sufficiently pull off.

Add in sublime styling that an Archibald could never grasp.



A Fall look perfect for Thanksgiving dinner.  I love the pop of bold color he adds with the red tie, and the how it works even with the muted brown and tan of the rest of his ensemble.  Season 2 was the heyday of Dandy Chuck, and I intend to enjoy every second.  Join me?

Vanessa is the incongruous partner in the plan to convince Nate to turn the Captain into the FBI.  Incongruous becuase even though Nate isn't spectacularly dressed like Chuck, at least the clothes he wears aren't on par with a national disaster.



If a flood does come, Vanessa will be the first to drown because of all that jewelry she's lugging around with her.  The red blouse isn't so bad on its own, but naturally she's paired it with two necklaces, a bangle, long dangling earrings, and two rings, one which covers nearly her entire finger.  Also, that purple eyeshadow is just plain ugly.

Even for someone notorious for wearing a vastly differing array of brightly colored patterns and prints, this is really, really bad.  I think there might be a smattering of orange on the print of the garment Vanessa's wearing under her orange peacoat, but other than that, she might have dressed in the dark.  The green plastic earrings really class up her outfit, which is important since it's a major holiday.  I don't know where that scarf came into play, it looks like she grabbed it off a homeless person on the street corner.



The one positive note is that her hair looks better than it has in awhile.

Once inside, the orange peacoat comes off, and we all wish that Vanessa had kept it on.  The print of that dress is beyond ugly, and of course, she has to pair it with more wooden beads and a necklace inspired by Lord of the Rings.

The Magnificent Archibalds - Part 2 of 3 - Growing Pains

While she waved the white flag at her 18th birthday, Blair is still not thrilled with the prospect of Cyrus joining her and Eleanor at their penthouse, especially if it means joining them for Thanksgiving, which has always been her favorite holiday.



But even during stressful times such as these, Blair shows her detractors that you must rise to the occasion.  Such as this case, when even while wearing one of her typical tailored plaid uniforms, she makes sure her hair is perfectly styled.  Love the braids and the slight wave she's cultivating here.

This skirt and blouse combination is stunning on her.  The skirt has a swingy, retro feel, and the cut makes her waist look absolutely miniscule.  The print on the blouse is a little busy, but the colors suit her so I'll have to let it slide.

Blair has definitely been cultivating a subtle sexy vibe with her wardrobe choices, culminating in this forest green dress she wears for Thanksgiving.



It's definitely a form-fitting dress--tight but not ridiculously so.  The color is gorgeous on her, and I'll even tolerate the high-necked, long-sleeved puritanical vibe she's working here, because when she turns around . . .



there's absolutely nothing puritannical about it.  The juxtoposition is appropriate here, for this dress, and in many ways, really appropriate for Blair herself.  She's the sex kitten hidden behind the society miss exterior.

The coat Blair slips on to wander the streets of New York with her trusty right hand woman Dorota works beautifully, the light gray contrasting with the dark green of her dress. And I covet that brown leather satchel.

Eleanor, the subject of Blair's scorn this episode, has really progressed from her shiny neutral phase.



At least the neutral part of it.  Ignoring the overall shininess of it, I do like the muted orange, especially on her.  It looks lovely with both her skin and her hair.  A simple strand of beads completes the ensemble.

And voila, the shiny is left behind (hopefully forever)!  The structured velvet jacket is really great on Eleanor, and I love it paired with the gold link necklace.  She looks great; Cyrus seems to suit her to a tee.

Speaking of Cyrus, Blair is understandably upset about all his family traditions that threaten to replace her own.



Or maybe she's more upset that he wears Fair Isle sweater vests.

At least he dresses up for Thanksgiving, and for meeting Blair's father, Harold, who shows up to put his Blair Bear's fears to rest.



Red seems to be his default accent color, and it does serve him well, especially when paired with a smartly-tailored sport coat.

Cyrus' son Aaron fares much this worse this episode, despite his promise that Serena is the only girl he wants to date.  Only he doesn't seem to realize he'll be around another few weeks, tops. His wardrobe alone (no plaid shirts in sight), tell the entire sad story.



Looks like Fair Isle runs in the family.  When you're constantly preaching about how edgy and artistic you are, it might be wise to stay away from stuffy, traditional designs.

Or pathetic attempts to look dressier when you meet Serena's family.  That scarf isn't quite plaid enough to win her heart away from the King of Plaid, Dan Humphrey.  And Aaron, must your clothes be so loose and wrinkled?  Nate gets away with it because let's face it, he's hot, but you don't have the convenient excuse that a pair of baby blue eyes and a muscled chest offers.

Despite all these sartorial failings, Serena does seem (temporarily) infatuated with Aaron the Artist. After all compare her school outfit with the subtle dress she dons for a private dinner date with him.



This is pretty generic school uniform Serena--white shirt, buttoned only the necessary amount, loosened tie, funky vest, tied back hair.

But this, ladies and gentlemen, is Man Eater Serena.  She is sick of sharing her man, guys, and she's going to get him--preferably before he can hang out with any more friends that happen to be female.

She's straightened her hair, she's donned some delicate gold jewelry, and that calling the top of her dress a bodice is generous.  More realistically, it's a convenient way to display her two favorite assets.

But she doesn't even stop there--apparently even a heartfelt confession that all Aaron thinks about is her isn't enough.  She's got to whip out the big guns.



In this case, two shiny satin pieces of fabric she wraps around her body like a blouse and skirt.  And calling the latter the skirt is again being generous.  I do love her patterned hose though, and the necklace is quite pretty.

It's a tribute to Serena that she can wear this asset-bearing outfit and still look relatively good.  At least until she turns her head and you realize she hasn't combed her hair in a month.



Oh wait.  That was on purpose?  My bad.

Actually, my favorite item of clothing Serena wears this episode is this gorgeous tweed coat.  I'd say she should wear it during dinner, but then Aaron might not fall prey to her many charms, and in the end, Serena always gets her man. 

At least for a little while.

The Magnificent Archibalds - Part 3 of 3 - The Emancipated

Her future literally in ashes, Jenny runs to the one place she feels most at home--not the Humphrey loft, but the Bass der Woodsen penthouse.  After all, she and Eric shared a boyfriend once.

Right in the middle of her transition from proper Constance minion to edgy fashion designer, Jenny still looks somewhat passable.

This black and white ensemble is still classic, the striped angora cardigan preventing it from going overboard into overdone territory.  The relative lack of eye makeup also helps Jenny's case here.  The hair, however, is awful, and I am blaming whoever gave her this terrible choppy cut for the later extensions she insists on.

While Jenny might be considering removing herself from the Humphrey family, their blood runs deeply in her veins.  Case in point, this trying-to-hard-to-be-ironic plaid shirtdress.

When you look your absolute best dressed for bed in a t-shirt dress, tights and legwarmers, you should realize that your personal style has gotten a little too skewed. Unfortunately for Jenny, she doesn't quite get the purpose of self-examination.




One almost feels sorry for Rufus this episode.  Not only does his daughter no longer want to be his daughter, he's stuck in a style rut about a mile long. I think we've seen a variation of this plaid shirt-jacket combination at least once an episode.

Yep.

This cardigan is a very small improvement, except it makes him look like a scruffy Mr. Rogers.




Dan is clearly a chip off the old block, because he too strays very little from his sartorial comfort zone.



While it's not radically different, this gray v-necked sweater is exceptionable only becasue it's a silhouette we haven't seen on him before and it's not plaid.

But Dan's our trusty plaid rubberband--he snaps right back to where he feels most comfortable.

Lily posseses a surprising amount of wisdom regarding teenage girls. Although we get the impression she was gone for most of Serena's early teen years, she rushes right to Rufus' side after her vacation, armed with advice.

The following is what she wears returning from her vacation with Bart.  I don't know if her jacket shrunk in the wash or if it was meant to be that short, but it strangely elongates her torso to inhuman proprotions.  In fact, the pieces of this outfit don't seem to have any relation to each other at all, except that they were probably all ridiculously expensive.

Compare the above disappointment with the chic and lovely ensemble Lily wears to meet Rufus to discuss Jenny's wayward ways.



More casual yes, but infinitely better.  I swear Eric Daman is trying to foreshadow plot with his costuming.  This gray coat in particular is stunning on her.

From the back, this could be a tamer outfit of Serena's.  Love the brown boots paired wiht her soft gray cowlneck sweater.




But back to a Bass family function, Lily dons another fussy dress, this one brown and shiny with a weird tumor-like growth sprouting out of her neck area.  The one mitigating factor of this disappointing outfit are her lovely gold earrings.

Bart himself is still stuck in a style morass of his own.  Does the man own a piece of clothing that can't be worn with a suit and tie?

This light gray neutral suit is nice on him, however, and the light lavender shirt and slightly darker tie work well with it.  Just like his son Chuck, Bart definitely knows how to wear a suit.



Bart also likes to default to the contrasting collar for his shirts, and it's a habit he needs to break.  The white is jarring and not in a good way.  The rest of his outfit is staid, even for him.  He looks - dare I say - like a dead stiff? (That's more foreshadowing for you.)