Episode Synopsis: It’s summer in the Hamptons — Serena’s been pouting, Chuck’s been whoring, Nate’s been secretly screwing a married woman, and Blair's been hiding in France, trying to pretend Chuck isn’t a total asshole. So basically, par for the course for the Non-Judging Breakfast Club. Dan, however, has turned over a new leaf and is taking a page out of Chuck’s book, all in an attempt to forget that he was once Lonely Boy. And instead of gossiping and training as a loyal Constance minion, little Jenny is working herself to the bone at Eleanor Waldorf’s atelier as a summer intern.
Nate, at the end of the summer in the Hamptons, has finally fulfilled the great potential he had during the school year—he’s turned into a massive manwhore who’s attracted the attention of Catherine, an older, married ex-model.
But has he really changed all that much?
His wardrobe tells us that no, he's still wild about the color blue.
Accessorizing his pecs with it.
And his big guns.
To his credit, this outfit of Nate’s actually has a few interesting details that improve it from his usual t-shirt uniform seen above—from the white detailing to the tie yoke. Even the plain khaki cargo shorts fit him perfectly.
For the White Party, he is, of course, required to wear something not blue.
The cream colored sweater layered over the white t-shirt is honestly an uninspiring choice but then it’s Nate Archibald. He probably doesn’t even know that pairing cream and white together is a big fat no-no.
Unlike Nate’s uneven outing, his fake girlfriend Serena puts together an excellent sartorial episode—distinguishing herself without reverting to her default trampiness.
Love this gray silky swimsuit coverup accessorized by just a splattering of silver sequins along the v-neck.
Even the coral beaded cuff adds just the right amount of color to her otherwise monochromatic outfit.
We don’t get to see much of this muted gold coverup Serena wears while chatting with Blair by the pool, but the color gives her a glow that has nothing to do with her tan.
J’adore the periwinkle and cream shift dress Serena dons for her “date” with the lifeguard—or is it the Kleenex? Hard to remember.
Regardless, she looks stunning, with her wavy hair, and the color bringing out the tan she’s spent the summer perfecting.
For shopping with Blair, Serena changes into a short (very short) green and white tank dress with yellow accents. Honestly, I look at this and think she just walked off a tennis court.
I do love the pop of color she adds with the blue quilted Chanel bag.
For the White Party, Serena hits it out of the park.
This white Grecian gown is deceptively simple but fits her flawlessly, and her hair, with the braided twists and curls, intertwined with the silver chain, is stunning.
By wearing such a simple garment, Serena’s hairstyle can be intricate and accessorized without looking overdone.
This episode Serena plays at being Nate’s girlfriend in order to shield his real ladylove—an older married cougar named Catherine. Most of her scenes require no clothes at all—but since this is Nate we’re talking about, I guess that shouldn’t come as a big surprise.
To the White Party, Catherine dons a tank maxi-dress that makes her look incredibly flat and unattractive. Not sure if this was a preconceived plan to prevent Nate from ripping her clothes off at the party, but it could have been.
She’s jealous of Serena at the party, and really, after seeing S’s dress, and then Catherine’s, it’s not hard to see why.
Serena would never let her two best friends look this sad, tired or paunchy.
As for Dan, he’s gone the opposite direction of Serena. Instead of closeting himself away, feeling sorry for himself, he’s become the exact opposite, turning into a serious manwhore a la Nate or Chuck.
Dan should always be a manwhore. He looks a million times better in this classy beige button-up and gray slacks. Maybe some of Serena rubbed off on him after all.
But Dan doesn’t stay dapper for long. In fact, he returns to the comforting environs of plaid sooner rather than later.
But when he finally gets his head screwed on straight and heads to the White Party to tell Serena how much he’s missed her (apparently he’s had time to miss her in-between flirting with everything in a skirt), Grandma CeCe gets her hooks into him and fixes the situation.
I get that Dan wouldn’t be Dan if he dressed like this all the time, but I still think he should. He looks charming and chic and finally deserving of the Grecian goddess that’s Serena Van der Woodsen.
Grandma CeCe, who gives Dan his much-needed makeover for the White Party, looks unsurprisingly lovely this episode.
This floral scarf and pearl pairing is charming and very summery.
Her cream suit for the party is deceptively simple, but makes the most of her gorgeous skin and glossy white hair, arranged in this stunning chignon.
When I’m her age, I can only hope I’ll be this well-preserved and youthful. Either that, or I’m rich enough to afford the same ridiculously expensive plastic surgeon I’m sure CeCe uses.
Or maybe it's all the gin. Are juniper berries good for the skin? I'm off to Google...