Woman on the Verge - Part 1 of 2 - The Non-Judging Breakfast Club

Episode Synopsis:  Georgina discovers what happens when you try to mess with the Non-Judging Breakfast Club, and also with Dan and Vanessa.  One guess which group Georgina feels more threatened by.  With Serena’s secret out, and during Lily and Bart’s rehearsal dinner no less, Georgina is forced to try one last ditch effort to manipulate her frenemy.  Nate and Vanessa continue to pretend to date, while Blair and Chuck continue to pretend they hate each other—but we know better in both cases.  Finally, Lily, faced with both her past and her potential future, has to make a choice harder than which main course to serve at her fourth wedding.

Only Blair would go full-on retro chic for a night of searching through every club, bar, and watering hole in New York for her vagrant best friend Serena.  Blair is nothing but determined to never present a cracked façade, and she succeeds here.

Mustard is tough to wear, and the little white accents, bow included, are even tougher.  But that is amateur hour for Blair Waldorf!  She pairs the dress with this gorgeous cream coat, complete with intricate braided buttons.

Why does this dress work, despite the godawful color and the fussy detailing?  The answer is in the fit, which flawlessly showcases the figure that Chuck can’t get enough of.

My other favorite part of this look?  The gorgeously styled hair, complete with brown leather studded headband.

For Lily’s rehearsal dinner and Serena Support duty, Blair continues her retro streak with this stunning midnight blue beaded cocktail dress.

At first, it looks too big in the chest area, with the sleeves nearly falling off her shoulders, but the fitted waist and blousing of the top saves this.  Plus, I love the full skirt silhouette on Blair.  Add in her flawless accessorizing, and this is another perfect combination.

The showy rhinestone headwrap plus the pearls could have been over-the-top with all those sequins on Blair’s dress, but the muted, dark color prevents that from happening.  Instead she looks classy and gorgeous.  Styling her hair in those loose waves is a perfect foil for the nearly prissy dress and pearl combination.

Blair’s archnemesis and fellow social manipulator Chuck Bass also dons selections with extraordinary retro flair this episode.

This seersucker pants and cardigan combination is definitely unique, but what really makes it sing isn’t the odd components (yes, I said seersucker pants), but the way they all work in perfect tandem with each other.

These pants could really veer into outrageous territory, between the fabric itself and the blue plaid pattern, but with such a muted tan cardigan, matching tie and staid blue shirt, Chuck’s pants stay edgy but not ridiculous.

Oh yeah, and nevermind that adorable tan bowler hat.  It just makes the entire outfit stand up and sing an aria.

For the rehearsal dinner, Chuck takes it down a notch and keeps it simple and classic.

J’adore the dark navy blue pinstripe suit and the crisp barely-there muted blue plaid of his shirt is the perfect compliment.

And of course, since this is Chuck Bass, he’s never fully dressed without his signature bowtie—this one in a lovely dark maroon and navy blue reversible print.

Serena has a tough episode—actually these last few have been pretty rough on our favorite over-privileged UES princess.  However, this is the first episode in which we’re witness to a certified, trademarked Serena Van der Woodsen meltdown.  And what does that look like?

Ladies and gentleman, this is not a pretty sight.  Those of you with weaker stomachs, you should probably look away.

Tangled ratty hair?  Smeared makeup?  Slip showing beneath her dress?  Unable to stand and/or function?  Yep, all signs point to something pretty damn awful.

The truth of what the “something pretty damn awful is” doesn’t emerge until Serena is at least bathed, under her own motor function, and has slipped Blair’s gorgeous blue velvet robe on.

This is one of Blair’s signature costume pieces and it’s shown up in a number of episodes—from season one all the way through season four.  Even Chuck tried it on for a spell.  I hate to say that it looks almost better on Serena than it does on Blair.  Just don’t tell Blair that, please.  I like my life and don’t want to lose any part of it to Waldrof Social Destruction Inc.

For her mother’s rehearsal dinner, Serena manages to clean up and look somewhat presentable.

Since it’s Serena, presentable means that she’s able to put her favorite assets on full display.  Hello, ladies!

I do find this blue strapless dress lovely on her, though it does have an unfortunate tendency of looking like it might slip off at any moment.  The only thing keeping that dress up and over the aforementioned assets is van der Woodsen heredity talent and sheer Serena willpower.

Setting off the dark blue of her gown are the layered necklaces she’s wearing, all in subtle shades of crimson.

When Serena goes out later, she dons a gold lame evening coat, and this is my absolute favorite look of hers for the episode.

Typically, gold lame can be a tough fabric to wear, but with a full blond mane, not much can really overwhelm Serena, even this coat.

Of the entire Non-Judging Breakfast Club, Nate is definitely the least snazzy dresser.

Earlier in the episode, we see him wear one of the greatest Nate Archibald staples—the navy blue sweater and jeans.

I know, Nate.  I totally agree.  What is up with that?  This is not an ugly sweater by any means, but pretty generic when it comes to Nate.  In his defense, though, he does at least try to switch it up a little by pairing it with gray jeans.

Still, when this smirks at you, can you even help yourself from smirking back?

Later, he redeems himself by wearing this incredibly sexy outfit.

It’s nothing extraordinary, but the gray jacket is tailored beautifully, and the light blue shirt compliments the jacket and his physique gorgeously.  WANT!

Woman on the Verge - Part 2 of 2 - Everybody Else

Lily’s betrothed and Chuck’s father, Bart, continues his tradition of being a staid and boring, but classy dresser.

I don’t like his contrasting color, but the French blue of his shirt is lovely, especially paired with the bright red of his tie.

For the rehearsal dinner, he loses the contrasting color, but he also looks like he might be headed to a funeral with all these dark colors.  I would think he would feel in a more celebratory mood, being the latest in a loooooong (and getting longer) line of Lily Van der Woodsen husbands.

Of course, since he is Bart Bass, it is a beautifully coordinated suit and tie—I especially like the light purple stripe in the tie, which echoes the pinstripe in his jacket.

Lily, as always, redeems her family hands-down.  The original blonde bombshell brings it this episode, starting out right by donning tight jeans and a classic, stylish silver brocade fitted jacket.

Lily wears a lot of neutrals, but this works better for her than most.  It can be so easy for blonds to default to gold (like Serena does), but this very pale silver is lovely with Lily’s skintone.

And really does any other mom look this good in jeans?

Despite the celebratory nature of the event she’s attending (her own rehearsal dinner), Lily sticks to basic black.  Maybe she and Bart are going to the same after-party/funeral. I hear they're the latest craze.

Her heels are fabulous, and I do like the cut of the dress, especially the neckline and the tiny ruffled cap sleeves, but overall this could be a more exciting look.

Must give props for the flawless makeup and hair.  Nobody does a chignon like Lily Van der Woodsen.

Rufus, Lily’s erstwhile lover and past she can’t seem to leave behind—kind of like when you step in dog crap and you can’t get it off your shoe—makes yet another bid for Lily’s heart this episode.  No matter that there’s an actual wedding happening, he still refuses to give up the hope that she’ll be his again.  This is either very optimistic or very stupid.  Stay tuned for which, because it could really go either way.

This episode is full of the usual Rufus wardrobe buffoonery, including this hideously ugly denim shirt that I would burn if I could.

The only thing of interest that he dons is what he wears to the reunion concert given by VH1 Classic for Lincoln Hawk.  Now, keep in mind this will be recorded and televised, but Rufus still insists on wearing one of Elvis’ shirts from the Heartbreak Hotel era.  All he’s missing are a few dozen pounds of rhinestones and a pair of swiveling hips.

Dan doesn’t improve his family’s reputation with his sartorial choices.

This plaid and cardigan combo is worse than ever.  How Dan could stand in front of a mirror and believe this puke brown cardigan improves the ugly Madras plaid shirt boggles my mind.

For his dad’s concert, Dan gets crazy.

Which means a shirt without any pattern, paired it with a Member’s Only jacket.  Woo-hoo!  Serena needs to spend less time obsessing about that guy she might have killed and more time fixing Dan’s wardrobe.

Vanessa, apparently Lincoln Hawk’s resident roadie—evidence of just how far they really have fallen off the music scene—decides that this is a both appropriate attire for said televised concert and for a date with Nate Archibald.  I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when Blair Waldorf eventually set her straight.

My eyes are literally blinded and I’m developing a twitch from all the contrasting pattern going on here.  The tunic, ripped straight from an Asian wall hanging, paired with short jean skirt and black tights, might not be so bad on its own.  What takes this outfit into burnworthy territory (right after Rufus' denim shirt)?  The black and purple leopard print hoodie.  Because you totally gaze into the closet after donning the tunic and skirt and decide that with the Asian flair you already have going on, nothing matches quite like purple leopard print.

I’m not even going to go into the accessory-loading, but suffice it to say, those earrings might be able to tune in HBO.  That is, if Vanessa actually watched TV.  I think it's beneath her, or something.  Don’t even get me started on the necklaces.  I’ve long since given up hope that V will refrain from tangling on as many as she can get around her neck.

The one positive note regarding Vanessa is that she has finally figured out a flattering hair style.

Ignoring the ugly hoodie and those godawful green and gold disc earrings, her hair and makeup are really quite pretty here.  If you took off everything she was wearing and started over from scratch, she would be presentable.

Georgina, the x-factor in all of this, still rocks the edgy looks she first appeared in.

Adore the black and white striped tunic with the tiny yellow accents paired with gray skinny jeans and the cropped black leather jacket!  Add in the oversized sunglasses and gray python bag, and she’s a rock star running errands.  Or in this case, she’s an actress running errands because she’s still pretending to be two people—innocent, sweet Sarah and conniving evil bitch Georgie.

As Sarah, she tones down her normal fabulosity, going for a cute but not overtly sexy tunic dress, accessorized not with leather and devil horns but with a cute rainbow skinny scarf and simple gray jacket.

This is a very Serena-like outfit—edgy but still sweet—and is it any surprise that with a lie-laced sob story, she manages to capture the elder Humphrey’s heart as well?  Oh Georgina. You connive like nobody's business!