Episode Synopsis: Denial is a river in Egypt, y’all—but in this episode, it flows right down 5th Avenue. Serena’s forced not only to contemplate proper attire for a christening, but if the brioche Blair’s carrying is Chuck or Nate’s. The problem? Nobody knows. And then everyone knows, including both potential fathers. The good news? The baby doesn’t actually exist. The bad news? The UES having discovered and judged Blair’s indiscretions against all their (much worse) crimes, her life as she knew it is pretty much over. Dan confesses his love to Serena and is met with a very loud silence, as she considers if there’s anything to love about her beside her two favorite assets. Rufus attempts to move on after his divorce and to his shock, finds out that he’s not very smooth in the dating department.
Yeah, I know this comes as an enormous shock, so brace yourself: Rufus sucks at dating!
Okay—not very surprising. But Rufus himself seems completely astonished by this. I suppose after having nailed Lily van der Woodsen and leaving her wanting more, you’d think you’re practically the Socialite Whisperer. Not so, Rufus. It seems your plaid shirts and patronizing ex-rockstar attitude can’t always seal the deal.
You’re wearing your striped polo shirt today? I apologize, I didn’t realize. Of course any beautiful woman wandering into your avant-garde gallery couldn’t possibly resist the combination of stripes and a Mr. Rogers shawl-collar cardigan in such a scintillating shade of light gray.
To give Rufus a little more credit, that outfit is vastly better than when he tries to impersonate a lumberjack, but that’s really where his heart lies.
If you insist on wearing such awful shirts, at least iron them please.
Some last advice, Rufus. If you actually did manage to get a date with one of the aforementioned beautiful women, and she’s not only attractive, but smart and funny and successful, perhaps dressing this way wouldn’t be the best plan.
Just . . .no. No wonder Beautiful Woman Bex gives him the middle finger, resulting in this “Depressed Rufus” outfit that is . . .
No grown man should wear such a thing unless he’s cleaning out the gutters or painting something.
The final atrocity?
I suppose I should give Eric Daman credit for wardrobe consistency, but this is the third or fourth time we’ve seen this sweater in action—and the worst part is that the first time we saw it was bad enough. If you’re going to repeat clothing, at least pick something semi-decent! I may go blind if I ever have to see this sweater again.
Bex is one of the art buyers that Rufus meets during his daily sojourns at the gallery. She’s lovely and accomplished, with a feisty attitude that, unfortunately, makes her way too good for Rufus.
Lily often gets praised on YKYLF for being an adult on Gossip Girl who still manages to have her head screwed on straight when it comes to fashion. Bex totally gives Lily a run for her money here.
The well-cut black coat over the black, white and gray patterned dress, paired with the bright red patent leather purse, is so chic. Her lips complement the shade of the purse flawlessly. Even her hair has just enough of a downtown vibe with the side-swept bangs. If we all thought Rufus was reaching when he tried to get Lily back, this is even more humiliating. If Bex had a molecule of sense in her head, she would take one look at Rufus and not look back.
Bebes, it gets worse. So, so much worse.
Or better, depending on your point of view. While Rufus fully intends on wearing one of his ugly, schlubby shirts to his date with Bex, this is what she turns up in.
Polished, classy, gorgeous. Love, love, love the plaid coat with the oversized collar. Typically I would say that the necklace looks like an Abrams remnant, but here, the outfit is tastefully simple enough that it adds just the right touch of joie de vivre. Add in her upswept hair and red lips and Bex is bringing it hardcore. I can totally understand why she ended up ditching Rufus’ company for the evening, but not why she ever returned to the scene of the crime and agreed to give him a second chance.
Lily, having accepted Bart Bass’ proposal of marriage in a recent episode, is not present, but holding up the Van der Woodsen flag of grace and fashion are her children, Serena and Eric.
Or not. What is up with the littlest Van der Woodsen’s hair? He needs to remedy the root and the shape situation instantly. I’m ignoring the plaid button-up worn over the t-shirt. Eric knows better, he really does, and he’s promised to try a little harder.
Serena, however, graces us with one of her fabulous school “uniforms.”
Yes, a skirt that short should be at least a misdemeanor, but Serena’s opaque tights and black patent leather boots move her look in a more respectable direction. The red leather jacket is what truly makes the outfit, though, and it’s got enough edge to help Serena retain her boho chic vibe. The zebra-patterned bag is a leetle too much, but I can’t deny its fabulosity.
Serena’s record is astonishingly good this episode. I can’t decide if I like this version or the previous days’ version of S’s uniform better.
Same pleated plaid mini, same black tights, this time paired with brown suede boots.
Her brown wool coat worn over a lighter brown wool cardigan sweater works beautifully, and j’adore the leather satchel she’s carrying.
Consistency, thy name is Serena! Another day, another awesome outfit.
She’s still rocking the plaid skirt and black tights combo, but this time Serena throws on a black wool peacoat and a brightly patterned scarf around her head, which adds just the right pop of color. Jen mentioned in the 1x03 recap that she loved it when Serena rocked the headscarf and I have to agree with her, with this as winning evidence.
Not only was Serena batting .1000 at school, but she also nailed it in the evenings.
The gold brocade coat is gorgeous, but the cream and black sweater-babydoll combination looks strangely like nightwear worn as a tunic.
This whole episode Serena wears the most stunning outerwear. This blue military coat with gold buttons and trim, worn on a date to Dan’s house, is perfect with her fair coloring.
You can’t see the black dress with silver glitter accents she wears underneath very well, but it seems to be one of Serena’s better sequin-inspired looks.
This is my favorite Serena look in a long time:
Purple and gray together can be stunning and S looks lovely in them. I especially like the simple gray coat paired with the purple ruffled blouse. Plus you can see just the tiniest bit of what must be a fabulous gray and black hobo bag.
And then Dan Humphrey shows up in his ubiquitous flannel shirt. Instead of feeling never fully dressed without a smile, Dan must feel naked if he has to go an entire episode without reverting to his (one) wardrobe staple.
Not only does he have plaid shirts, he also has a plaid coat.
And a plaid scarf. My point here is done. Dan, please tear yourself away from the plaid long enough to look even a fraction as good as your girlfriend does on a daily basis.