All the world’s a stage, and all the UES’ men and women merely playing with each other’s hearts. Dan has his way with Cougar Carr in the closet with Serena three feet away as Chuck’s hooker nanny ping pongs between him and Carter, then bats him straight back to Blair, whose official rejection from Yale sends her all the way to crazy town. Nothing innocent about the Age of Dissonance…
Before the Columbia minions, there were the Constance minions.
Nothing can be said for the fringed curtain Nelly is wearing, but other wise I love how the classic outfits have been updated. Gloves stay but sleeves go missing, jewellery becomes heavier and fascinators larger.
Penelope’s maid’s costume is a particular coup: a transparent partlet and sleeves sex up that pretty white collar and apron.
Serena’s a regular swan princess in this blush gown with down accents. Nudes really flatter her skin tone so well. She’s really working the accessories, too: a fabulous feather fascinator and some net gloves.
The matching ribbon waistband and choker are a lovely touch.
And if Serena’s our Odette, then who must be Odile?
Playing the disgraced Countess Olenska, Blair looks scandalous in this textured cut-out dress. The updo and darling tricorn hat are perfectly period, whereas the puffed shoulders and body-con dress say cocktail hour rather than tea and cakes.
Dan is dressed appropriately, for once. He does white tie so nicely that I suggest it should become an everyday fixture of his wardrobe. That grey coat is to die for, I love the contrasting collar.
Nate is still the prettiest pony in the show, as dapper as Chuck in his ascot and scarf. This mix of grey and black is very similar to Dan’s, but Nate would certainly get the first place ribbon.
He has a top hat, after all.
But he wears dirty clothing when he’s not treading the boards – don’t be fooled by the lighting, that’s the same shirt. The difference between black coat and black cardigan does not a decent outfit make.
He still beats Dan’s rumpled school uniform.
Or this brown and khaki disaster.
If you combine these two wardrobe malfunctions, you get: a brown plaid and khaki V-neck concoction! I think this must be a picture of Penn, since Dan didn’t even smile while kissing Rachel Carr Letourneau.
Serena definitely isn’t pulling her weight this episode (or Blake Lively suddenly lost ten pounds and had no time to buy new clothes). A badly fitting black cami topped with a badly fitting grey cardigan, whose buttons match the silver Christmas ribbon she’s slung around her neck for no apparent reason.
Yes, Serena, I’d be laughing at myself too. And crying.
One thing in Blair’s favour is her excellent taste in tights; Serena’s basic black leggings fail to thrill, and her draped black blouse fails to show enough cleavage to thrill Julian, her director crush.
Though I get the feeling cleavage isn’t what floats Julian’s boat…
He's more hetero than metro with those drab colours and poorly fitted clothing, but no straight man has such perfect designer stubble.
Speaking of drab educators, Queller needs a Bump-It for her icky flat hair and a brighter alternative to charcoal. Her bow blouse is dull, despite the gold detailing.
But what does wow is Serena’s final ensemble. A blue dress is basic sexy Serena, but this leather jacket is so sharply cut that it’s more eveningwear than casual. That Chanel purse has stolen my heart – classic in black and gold, oversized and up to the minute. I’ll add it to my birthday list.
When Blair loses control, out come the fashions of her glory days in season one. She tops divinely curled hair with a flouncy headband, a billowy cream blouse with black lace overlay and a sequinned black and grey skirt.
These pieces are wonderfully classy, but the lack of colour makes Blair more Haversham than Hepburn.