Yes, Then Zero - Part 2 of 2 - West Coast

Serena is a strange creature. She spends winters in New York pantsless, but opts for maxi skirts in LA, in the summer.

 
She's also big on chunky necklaces this year. I'm pretty sure I saw those turquoise samples in my mineralogy class today. I will say, I was shocked when I saw this outfit - the twins are covered, she can exit the golf cart without a wardrobe malfunction ... it's almost practical. Maybe being on the west coast means a new Serena. A changed Serena. 

Or not.

Through the whole scene, I was genuinely concerned that Serena was about to share her macaron with everyone on set. I will say, this dress is cute (or would be, if it were half an inch longer). But I've been an intern at a production company. You know what this dress is not practical for? Unjamming the demon copier for the fifteenth time while your boss demands to know why the rewrites haven't been coallated yet.

Also, two chunky necklaces, S? Just because Vanessa left you her jewerly box when she fled to Barcelona doesn't mean you're obligated to wear any of it.

And just like that, we're back to the maxi dress and I don't have to live in fear of becoming the unofficial van der Woodsen OBGYN. I'm digging this whole look for S, it's very California-chic (or what I've been told is California-chic, I've rarely seen it for myself). I particularly love the raspberry color on her - Eric Daman is rocking the color choices this ep, I have to say.

 

Not rocking? Serena's dry, overprocessed, Jenny Humphrey hair. What has happened to the hair on this show? First Blair's glorious, full head of hair became flat and lifeless. Now Serena's hair has gone from gorgeous and beachy to unbrushed and in desperate need of some Morroccan Oil. This gives me the sads, you guys. It makes my soul hurt.

Remember when her hair used to look like this? I miss this.  

Oh wait, sorry. That's actually Ivy, who is waitressing in LA - or was, until she ran into Serena and immeditely slipped back into Charlie-mode. How is Ivy out-van der Woodsening Serena van der Woodsen?

Nate's wardrobe doesn't even warrant mentioning. Fortunately, there's always Chuck to pick up the sartorial slack. In fact, I am staunchly pro-Chuck's new look. What does it entail? I'm glad you asked.

A relaxed oxford in what appears to be a natural fabric. A perfectly aged motorcycle jacket that he probably paid an X-Games biker to break in. Jeans or light pants. And, of course, a neckerchief. Why? Because he's Chuck Bass.

Ugh. Remember that time when Chuck had amnesia and called himself "Henry Prince" and pretended to be a pauper? I'm pretty sure he wore this the entire time he was bussing tables in Paris. The jacket makes me excuse the shirt, but I'm choosing to ignore the skinny leg jeans that have been cuffed to an awkward old man length.

I need a fashion palette cleanser.

Thank you, Chuck. That's exactly what I needed. Buttery yellow with a red neckerchief? Only you could make it work, and I am more than okay with it. Please keep rocking your LA look when you return to NY. Your wardrobe has been reinvigorated. Don't return to your day trader suits.

Don't give me that look. It's the truth. Look at you. You're magnificent! If I didn't know better, I'd say you were wearing this outfit specifically to show up Prince Louis. Don't be ashamed. Don't hide your neckerchief under a bushel. Return to New York looking like Thurston Howell III, because this is the fifth season and it's time to mix things up a little.

And on that note, it's time for someone to make her dramatic entrance ... 

Hm. I'm getting the sense that she might be a cougar who preys upon our dear, naive Nate. It's just a hunch, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that she has ulterior motives that will be revealed in a dramatic manner by episode 3.

I'm not psychic, I'm just picking up on the show's subtle clues. Of course, the leopard print bodycon dress wasn't my only hint. Here's what Elizabeth Hurley wore in her next scene: 

Oh yeah. She's going to play our poor, beautiful Nate like a very dumb fiddle.