Props: Switching It Up Before Nationals

I don't understand why this episode is called "Props." They talk about props like ONCE at the beginning and the rest of it is about other stuff. Whatever. So Tina Cohen-Chang finally stands up and says "NO" to swaying in the background. When everyone jumps on her about being selfish, she calls them out on ignoring her for three years and leaves. Rachel even tries to bring her back with a bribe but not even a cool $50 bill can soothe the injury of Rachel tyrade of self-absorption. When Tina hits her head after falling in the fountain at the mall, she dreams that EVERYONE HAS SWITCHED PLACES and it's all disturbingly fabulous.

When she finally comes to, everyone is back to normal but Tina has a "new perspective" on Rachel's "burden" of being the group star. Sue tries to talk Kurt into dressing in drag for Nationals -- like Unique in Vocal Adrenaline -- but Kurt puts his foot down and says that being gay doesn't necessarily mean he wants to dress like a woman. Bieste finally leaves Cooter -- and stops Puck from making a huge mistake in a fistfight after school with that Dumb Hockey Guy. Now everyone is on their way to Nationals in Chicago (WHAT UP, CHI TOWN!!!) and everyone is ready to go for the gold... we hope...WAIT. Maybe it's called "Props" because it's ALSO about showing appreciation for others and giving credit where it's due. Like, props to Tina for standing up for herself and props to Bieste for leaving Cooter. OHHHH. #AfterSchoolSpecial

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
"I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz

...wait, this is a JASON MRAZ song!??! Holy cats, I thought this was gonna be another Carrie Underwood or Miley Cyrus thing... it was just depressing. Rachel was singing to her own reflection, and the lyrics were about looking into her own eyes. Seriously? Rachel. Seriously? The only marginally redeeming part of this sequence was the Anthropologie dress with little bees on it. I love that dress.

More Kate Spade...

Brittany Bon Mots:

Mercedes as Brittany: "Rachel, after your solo I have to bail Lord Tubbington out of jail. He tried to sell my iPhone for drugs."

Brittany as Britanny: "I'm not totally gay, but I think that trees are born like actual babies, so kicking me out would be kinda mean."

How Sue Sees It:
"We have but one choice left to us. It's time to fight fire with the flaming flames of additional flamey gay fire."

Track Suit Sightings: 7 (one of them was Will as Sue, the rest were all Sue as Sue)

Outfit(s) of the Week:
I gotta say. Having Tina hit her head and then see everyone as switched Freaky Friday-style was AMAZING. And great fun. Therefore, I give you all of the switcheroos.

Artie as Santana!

Santana as Artie!

Tina as Rachel.

Rachel as Tina! TINA AS RACHEL! THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

Mercedes as Brittany, Artie as Santana, Sugar as Quinn and Mike as Teen Jesus.

THIS IS PRICELESS. Puck as Blaine and Finn as Kurt. I can't... get over... It's so... I just...

NEXT STOP: Nationals!!!!

Prom-asaurus: Where You’ll Have a Yabba Dabba Do Time

So here’s what you missed on Glee: Brittany has decreed that everyone shall have a rawr-ing good time at this year’s dinosaur-themed prom. The New Directions are slated to perform at the dance because why outsource the evening’s musical entertainment when you can get it in-house? Everyone’s running for prom queen or king and in a Fiance-of-the-Year move, Finn runs for prom king with his ex-girlfriend instead of being there for his distraught fiancee. The only one not running for high school royalty is Becky, even though she wants it super badly. And her alter-ego is British? Meh, fair enough; so is mine. In the midst of another angsty breakdown, Rachel co-hosts an anti-prom party with Blaine and Kurt that fails miserably. In the end, Becky is crowned the anti-prom queen, Rachel is crowned the legit-prom queen, and surprise! Looks like all the PT with Jar Jar Binks paid off because Quinn can now walk(ish).

Rachel’s Melodramatic Solo of the Week: You know she had to make some sort of dramatic statement, so when Kurt and Blaine crashed what would have/could have been her solo of the week, her melodramatic moment was relegated to one of the fashion variety at the Red Rooster Express.

More Majorica...

How Sue Sees It:
“Advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions.  Haven’t you seen Mad Men?” 

Track Suit Sightings: 3

Song of the Week:
It was slim pickins this week, but it might have to go to “What Makes You Beautiful” because, let’s face it--who here can resist a good boy band?  

 Brittany Bon Mots:
“All hair gel has been banned from the prom.  I’m actually not joking.  Hair gel was not invented until 30 million years after the upper paleolithic stone age.  And frankly, I don’t like the way you look.”

Did someone speak too soon?

Best Outfits:
It’s prom, aka: the Oscars of high school.  And what have we learned after hours of E! Live from the Red Carpet or all that coverage from the Met Gala?  No one cares what the boys are wearing, or who they’re wearing, or if they’ve got a proper bow tie or went rogue with a skinny tie.  The only thing everyone cares about and wants to see is what the girls are wearing.  

Enjoy the obligatory picture of Blaine in all his perfectly attired and immaculately coiffed glory.  Just another day for Mr. Anderson.  

But back to the girls.

I love, love this color on Santana and love even more that she matched her lipstick to her dress.  The fit is glove-like and the combination of the sweetheart and one-shoulder necklines is on-trend.  I also really love that she sang a Selena Gomez song.  

You know what they say: "dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Quinn looks like your Quinn-tessential prom queen with her lilac gown and its flowing skirts. The ruching on her bodice is just enough to keep the dress from falling flat and the diamante straps and waistband add the perfect amount of sparkle so as not to clash with her tiara.  And talk about dressing for the job you want--who cares if you're in a wheelchair? Bring on the sparkly open-toe pumps!

More Badgley Mischka...

It’s obviously a bit unorthodox for a prom dress, but then again, it’s Brittany.  Quite honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she stayed in her Pebbles Flintstones get up.  I’m absolutely in love with the seafoam tulle skirt and and the white tuxedo top (complete with a bow tie!).  The color combination is so refreshing and the jaunty little top hat?  Do I even have to say how much I love that?   

It’s a rare occasion when Mercedes gets her bling right, but it looks like all those misses paid off because this one is a hit.  She looks like a pretty little starburst!  I’m not super digging the random strap zooming across her chest but the color looks great on her and I can’t imagine the last time I saw her with her hair up--she looks so elegant!

Okay, so I lied.  Kurt’s prom look was just as good and yes, I always care about what he wears.  I know some people might think he was a bit too cavalier with his formal wear, but let’s be serious.  It’s high school.  And you have to admit that his anti-prom deconstructed tux with the top hat is way fun.  Plus, he has a boutonniere--that’s about as fancy as it really needs to get. 

Not-So-Best Outfits:

Well, she had to bust out the pilgrim collar--for old time’s sake, you know?  I hope this is a last hurrah sort of situation but to be fair...at least the hideous collar is detachable via the hideous sheer cape.  

This one was definitely a Monet for me.  I liked the dress the instant I saw it, but I think it was the bright lime green that was attractive.  Everything else...too much of a throwback for Rachel, with the little tennis or baseball polka dots and the random green ribbon around the waist.  And sweet heavens, she brought back the white knee socks.  Where were the knee socks when she was prancing about in miniskirts in the middle of February?  And for Pete’s sake, she finished off the whole thing with some sort of ecru/beige/nude ballet flat situation.  But don’t worry, I’ve spared you all the pictures.

At least she had the sense to forgo all that nonsense before prom because I don’t know that Quinn and Santana would have enjoyed forfeiting the crown to someone resembling an overgrown second grader.  And well, if she did, they could have always consoled themselves over Puck’s spiked punch.  

Pilot - Part 1 of 3 - The Principals

Since Glee has started down a path of suckitude, we've decided to look back at the days when it ruled. You can expect retro recaps once every few weeks, on Mondays. Enjoy!  - Jen

So here's what you missed on Glee: former show choir member and current Spanish teacher Will Scheuster takes over McKinley High's glee club, a place where teenage dirtbags sing and dance and fall in love, kind of like the Island of Misfit Toys with a drum beat. Football coach Ken likes guidance counsellor Emma, who likes Will, who's married to the crazily mercenary Terri. Cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester just hates everyone. Slushies are thrown and Journey songs trashed. Let's roll on with the show...

Finn Hudson is a perpetually confused quarterback - is he happy, is he sad, is he a sportsman or a singer? He's basically Zac Efron in High School Musical, only less hot. Finn will always return to one of three norms: a polo shirt, a hoodie...

Or a sweatshirt with stripes (he wears another red one this episode)...

He occasionally appears naked, rocking out in the shower while Will watches, pondering his 'talent'. It's not creepy, I swear - although Will forces Finn to come out of the musical closet by planting weed in his locker, which is creepy. Also illegal.

Hungry for fame and hungry for Finn is Miss Rachel Berry, queen bee of the old Glee club and wannabe Barbara Streisand. She wears an awful lot of button downs and some very pretty headbands (observe the Blair Waldorf like beauty atop her head in the second image).

Rachel, being an everywoman social outcast, often gets a slushie thrown in her face. Thank you, Glee, for giving the bullies of America and beyond something creative to do.

Rachel also enjoys sweater vests, knee socks, and basically dressing like a conservative Harajuku girl. This bleachers outfit is typical Rachel: lovely contrasting colours in the vest and skirt.

But she's not all sweetness and spice, oh no. Rachel got the former Glee club director thrown out for touching little boys (not true, but getting there), and sometimes she makes bold fashion choices, like this gorgeous pleated green and black houndstooth skirt.

Other new Glee club members include Mercedes Jones (the Curvy One with the Pipes), whose fashion choices irk me. A fence printed t-shirt? Over another t-shirt? With a matching plaid hat?

Kurt Hummel (the Fabulous but Shrill One) makes statements with his clothing, and the one I'm getting from this ensemble is that he escaped from a prisoner of war camp.

He then stole a car and drove to Levi's.

Then bought girl's shoes.

Joining them is Tina Cohen-Chang (the Goth One), who kissed a girl and then raided her lock box to make jewellery. She's like Wednesday Addams crossed with a really angry Avril Lavigne.

Along with Artie Abrams (the One in the Chair with Light Up Wheels, how awesome is that?), they make up the New Directions! Let's get started on some group critique.

Kurt: I enjoy your outfit, and hate those white Michael Jackson gloves as much as you must.

Tina: sweetie, no empire lines for you - especially no Empire lines with an above the knee skirt. You have a waist, stop hiding it beneath a shroud.

Artie: who are you, my father? Add some colour!

Rachel: I've literally just come off Gossip Girl rotation, please don't make me scream at you for wearing white tights. Nobody's legs look good in white tights.

Mercedes: lose the sweatbands, you're not a Williams sister. Pink and red do not look good together at the best of times, and those combat trousers need to be burned. Right now.

This club is devoid of glee since they hate old timey show tunes. This is evidenced by their pallette of greys and blues - props to Rachel for her purple sweater - miserable expressions - also, that sweater makes Kurt look like a mime - and the fact that Mercedes is trying to make yellow 'happen' in her accessories.

It's not going to happen.

It's not even going to happen if Kurt wears it.

I loathe this outfit, not just because of the icky lemon/beige colour. Translucent vests should never be worn, because a) they show your bra, and b) when your male best friend steals them, they fail to hide the tail end of his tie. Why tuck it in that case?

Mercedes does have her moments of coordination, like a marroon shirt with a sparkly shirt underneath and a sparkly head scarf, also with marroon accents. Bad colour, good concept.

Finn spurs the club into action when Will is bullied into becoming an accountant by his wife, Terri, who wants a sun nook for their baby on some rubbish. He persuades them to destroy that old classic, Don't Stop Believin', because a guy on a lawnmower once sung it to him.

Ok, time for more critique:

Tina: please stop wearing pleated skirts with bare legs and same colour knee socks. In fact, stop wearing so much black, it washes you out.

Kurt: for the love of God, someone explain that sweater to me. What is it...why does it...cerulean is a lovely colour, but that cut makes the poor boy look lumpy and ladylike.

Mercedes: the waistcoat is divine, and I almost don't mind you matching your shoes and accessories to it. Camoflauge is a no, but military is a very good look for you.

Artie: WEAR SOME COLOUR.

In the end, these kooky kids bring it on home in their differently tailored red tops and jeans, promising good things to come. Why? Because all the best teeny boppers do it.

On My Way - Part 1 of 2 - Pre-Regionals

At best, I would describe this week’s episode of Glee as tonally inconsistent. At worst, I’d describe it as a disastrous mash-up of two PSAs that had no place being in the same episode, or perhaps on television at all. In the show’s first act, we saw Karofsky deal with some serious bullying and attempt suicide. Then the show dealt with that in strange, misguided ways. (Kurt rushing to the side of his former tormenter, Schu giving an Irish kid peanut butter to teach them about teen suicide, Sebastian immediately reforming his smarmy, jerkwad ways because that’s apparently what happens when someone tries to kill himself). In the second act we had Regionals, which felt incredibly off considering what had happened in the episode. I can’t enjoy the Troubletones belting out “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” in this context. And in the third act we had Rachel and Finn’s woulda-been wedding, and an incredibly obtuse lesson about the dangers of texting and driving. Is Quinn dead? We won’t know until the show is back from hiatus in April. And that’s what you missed on Glee!

This is a difficult episode to cover for a snarky fashion website, both because it dealt with some serious issues and because I have some serious problems with all that went down. But we have a job to do, folks, and I’m going to do it! Let’s start by talking about Rachel. How many red dresses does girlfriend own?

You have to admit, it’s a great color on her.

And this adorable nautical dress would have made YFYLF writer L-A swoon, had she not been too busy ranting about the episode.

Rachel also looked absolutely lovely in this polka-dot number with the red belt.

The role of blushing bride suits her, I guess. She really killed it (oh god, accidental bad pun – sorry) on the fashion front in this episode. I’m less impressed with Kurt. I wish we could see the stripes he’s rocking underneath that bland jacket. Love the look on his face, though – it’s because he’s addressing our nemesis, Sebastian.

Smarmy, smarmy, smarmy. Hate.

Kurt made questionable fashion choices throughout the episode. There was this shirt:

 Is that vintage? Like, vintage from the 1800s? It looks like it came from the set of Little House on the Prairie and he was out working in the fields with Pa Ingalls.

At least it’s better than this:

What is that supposed to be? Is he a sad clown? A sad mime? An old-timey black and white circus ringleader?

He did look cute here with Blaine – these boys sure know how to rock a jacket.

Kurt’s fashion choices have been questionable lately, but this red sweater and bow-tie combo makes my fashionable heart flutter.

And he brings the prep again in a striped polo.

I think we can attribute the morose facial expressions to the fact that Darren Criss knows he should have extended his stint on Broadway rather than take part in this Very Very Special Episode.

So how did the God Squad deal with the news that Karofsky had tried to take his own life? Mercedes ordered an Edible Arrangement.

I guess Mercedes is back to dressing like it’s 1998?

Sam and Dreadlock Teen Jesus looked sad in grey.

And Quinn questioned how someone could ever get to a place where taking your own life was an option.

Oh Quinn, have some compassion! Sure you got knocked up during high school, but everyone still loved you! Or that’s what Kurt argued, but he’s a little bit wrong. Quinn’s parents did practically disown her after all. And she went through that weird punk phase. Now she’s back to cardigans and floral skirts. It’s a good look for her.

Here’s another cute sweater/skirt outfit on Quinn, and again Mercedes looks like she’s stepped straight out of the 90s in that shiny jacket.

Quinn doesn’t always look cute, though – sometimes the demure looks is way too over the top. In this navy dress she looks about 45 years old.

Speaking of mistakes, let’s take a look at Sugar. First there was this:

What is on her head? What is that? A bow made out of ground up $100 bills? And don’t even get me started on the Irish kid and all those Charlie Sheen shirts. Who told him that’s what Americans wear?

Here he is again, in a shirt that makes him look like the only place to shop in Ireland is a Goodwill circa 1957.

He’s eating peanut butter because that’s how Will decided to talk about teen suicide. Yes, there are still teachers at McKinley High!

Just keep telling yourself you’re getting through to them, Will...

Tina certainly looks like she understands.

Or perhaps she’s just lost in thought, wondering if Sugar was dropped on her head as a baby.

With all the talk of teen suicide, you’d think there’d have been more appearances from Emma, the school guidance counselor.

There she is, with apparently the only faculty at McKinley High, learning the news of Karofsky’s attempted suicide. And I’m pretty sure that was the only time we saw her. Was she too busy handing out pamphlets to stop Will from pulling that stupid peanut butter gag?

We couldn’t get a good look at her outfit, but the detailing on her blouse was divine.

Next, onto Regionals and Rachel’s wedding!

Heart - Part 1 of 1 - Most Fav Holiday Eva!

Secret admirers, reverse psychology, broken hearts and a new voice. Ah who doesn't love Valentine's Day? It's Sugar's most fav holiday eva, so daddy dearest throws her a party for her and all her friends. The no-single-people-allowed rule made Artie and Rory fight for Sugar's heart, and with a devious story worthy of Blair Waldorf, Rory won the right to escort Sugar. Someone's none too happy about Santana and Brittany's relationship and has filed a complaint against their public displays of affection. Big bully Karofsky showed he is capable of love when he dressed as a gorilla and surprised Kurt. Rachel and Finn finally announced their engagement and Quinn and Kurt - the only two reasonable gleeks - refused to be a part of their big day. And Blaine got to wear a really cool eye patch. And that's what you missed on Glee!

I don't know what's more sad. The sorry state of all their wardrobes, or the fact that Sugar is now becoming my favorite character. She was on her game this week and her quirkiness most definitely rivals Britt's, but unfortunately her daddy's millions (or maybe billions, if he can buy Ireland) are not going towards enhancing her closet. Girlfran's got something going on over there with the over-sized bow and heart shaped glasses and whatever the heck that thing is hanging from her neck. No wonder why Artie started to fall for her, he's finally found someone who dresses as ooglay as he does!

Oh wait, he already dated Tina and there is no way in hell that anyone dresses worse than Tina. Case in point above. White sailor girl dress with puffy shoulders: would be cute on one of my dolls collecting dust up in my attic. Purple knee highs: so wrong for this outfit. So wrong for any outfit. White (yes, I said white) lace up boots: Heelllll NO babe. We don't wear white after Labor Day, and we don't ever wear what looks like patent leather white lace up army boots after ever.

As for Quinn, I actually like her navy blue dress with white shrug. The red bows are a cute little touch for Valentine's Day, but she looks a little too much like a 1950s housewife.

So we finally got to meet Rachel's dads! I will admit, I expected a little more oomph out of them, but I do love Jeff Goldblum. And I absolutely love that he wore a purple velour suit. He looked very dapper. As did Rachel's other dad in his twill vest and jeans.

I was pleasantly surprised with Rachel's wardrobe this week. Yes, this dress does remind me a little of Carol Brady, but I'm really digging the material, pattern and fit. It doesn't exactly flatter her body, but the super lose fit doesn't maker her look large either, which is a win in my book.

I was torn between the dress above or this one as being my favorite, but I think this one takes the gold.

The plunging v-neck looks awesome on Rachel's petite frame, and the solid blue on top and polka dot pattern on bottom is an adorable combo. And two things give it a great shape: the thin red belt (to adds waist definition), and pleating on the dress (to give a fun overall shape). Too bad Rachel always has to be standing next to this dud. I really fear for what their closet will look like once they get married, and not because of the tiny closet space in NYC apartments either.

Seriously, how many great pieces of outerwear does Rachel own? It really baffles me, since no one at McKinley ever dresses like there's a change in weather. But I'll take it since this red pea coat is beyond devine. She looks like a little Samantha American Girl doll, but not in a bad way. Is that possible? I guess it is.

OK, but Rachel's outfit below was way too heart-attack-tastic for me. I think she's falling into the housewife routine way too quickly.

Well you know, if normal housewives pranced around a grand piano holding hands and singing songs. But I do absolutely love Dad Goldblum's fuchsia sweater paired with his blue slacks. I'm not too keen on Professor Dad's outfit, but his jacket is pretty fun. Fun enough that I'd like to wear it.

Dear Rachel, take off your pants pronto and you'd be one sexy mamasita.

Aaaand another gorgeous red jacket. The over-sized collar and pewter colored round buttons make this look much more sophisticated and a little less Little Red Riding Hood.

Now, let's talk about our girl Sugar and her choices this week. Here's a closer look at the thing that died a-top of Sugar's head.

Sugar, honey, Blair Waldorf is the only one who can pull off wearing headbands with bows the size of Africa. And Serena is the only one who can wear ties and make them look cool. Please try to develop your own sense of style instead of stealing it from our favorite Upper East Siders. Thanks.

Mannnn I want to dance around in a shower of confetti! Even if I have to pay someone to do it for me!

Well hello, Mad Hatter!

And did you go snooping in your grandma's old jewelry box for that necklace? What is that? A bunch of pearls crocheted together? It looks like a pearl bulletin board with all those weird doodads stuck on. Ohmygod it's so hideous. Let's review. Pearls = good. Big pearls = great. A bunch of pearls strung together resembling a suit of armor = priceless, as in there is no price anyone in their right mind would ever pay for that piece of awfulness.

Now, as ridiculous as this next outfit is, Sugar's confident enough to pull off a tiara and if I could wear a tiara in my everyday life I totes would, so I can't knock her too much. And I actually think I would like her dress if I could see the whole thing. I'm just going to pretend like I never saw the ridiculous magenta shrug.

Speaking of rdiculous, Tina, was it really necessary to wear those black and white striped referee socks?

No, it wasn't. And Rory, I know you're not from this country, but here in America we do not roll up our pants as such. And Quinn, are you going square dancing later?

Ok, enough questioning. Mercedes is stunning in this red floor length gown belting out one of the greatest love songs of all time. I feel like in light of recent events, there is nothing I can say here but kudos on a job well done.

I never thought I would find myself saying this, but Mike Chang, you were my... wait for it... best dressed Gleekster of the week. His throw back to the newsies couldn't have come at a better time since the show is coming to broadway next month! (Yes, I already have my tickets!) Mike looked so awesome in this ensemble and he sang so well - I was so proud of how far he's come! Now, if he could only do something about that thing hanging off his arm...

I'm sorry, did I hit my head, pass out and wake up in 1890? Those are the epitome of antique shoes. And I can tell ya that they most likely were not stylish back then either. And what is with the bib on the front of your dress? Tina, get with the times!

Freakin' A, I don't even know which is worse. The hideous white boots worn in the wrong era, or these ridiculous grey and yellow lace ups with bumble bee outfit. Sugar and Tina are fo sho honorary members of the Mad Hatters tea party.

Mike Chang, I really feel like I should hate this outfit but you know what? I really don't! I'm kind of digging the neon yellow pants and bright blue cardigan. Everyone else is just blah, even Kurt. And it takes a lot for him to be blah.

I think Brittany and Sugar need to have a fashion-off. This Chiquita banana thing Britt's got going on upstairs is just plain dumb. I wore headpieces like that for my dance competitions and even at the age of eight knew they weren't meant to be worn by anyone who wasn't carrying a basket of fruit on their head.

Quinn's V-day dress is pretty. I like the fit on her and I can handle the many stripes and colors for about five minutes. Sam looks super spiffy in his black blazer, it's a nice change from his Letterman's jacket that he refuses to take off.

But I just felt so bad for Sam this week, and every song he sang he absolutely killed it. He's so cute that he can wear whatever he'd like. No snark there.

Again with this wearing white business. Quinn, it's apparently not summer so your white summer dress is wildly inappropriate. But your cerulean trench isn't half bad. I don't love it, but it'll do. Mercedes, I don't even know what you're wearing. Is that a shirt knotted at your waist? Or an insanely short cape? Whatever it is I don't like it. Your red pants however, A+.

Arg, more season inappropriateness! I just don't understand why it is so hard for the wardrobe department to put these girls in outfits that fit the season. Quinn looks like she's ready for Easter Sunday. Rachel looks like she's about to go sailing. And Sugar, well, Sugar looks like a Spice Girl, so I guess it doesn't really matter what season it is for her since nothing they wore ever made sense anyway. And I'm pretty sure there's a mouse in Disney World running around with no shoes on.

Brittany's under the sea dress actually is kind of cute. It's not creepy, weird like some of the other animal faced sweaters she's worn. And Mercedes looks smokin' in her pink dress.

Only Kurt could wear a metallic maroon suit and not make it look like he stepped off the set of Grease!

And only Blaine could wear an eye patch, red bow-tie and top-hat and make it look cool and not circus clown creepy.

And together, they make the cutest couple ever! Gah I just LOVE Kurt's outfit, LOVE IT! These two aren't just the model couple, they are models. Work it boys!