Glee: The New Rachel

Welcome back, Gleeks! Here’s what you missed on Glee:

• Rachel is totally missing Ohio and New Directions and has a monster of a dance teacher who calls her “David Schwimmer”
• On the upside, her new classmate/ housemate is the insanely hot, buff, musically inclined Brody Weston, and he's ... STRAIGHT. And clearly very, very much into her.
• Kurt is now the gay version of the sad former star quarterback who hangs around the old school after graduation (the true sign of equality is when high school hierarchy stereotypes cross gender and orientation lines... right?)
• We meet a slew of new characters including Puck’s heretofore unknown brother Jake, who has a giant chip on his shoulder; Kitty, who is Quinn with her bitch setting set at 15 on a 10 point scale; and Marley, a smoky-voiced singer and daughter of the obese new lunch lady who the popular kids (yes the New Directions too, shame on Artie) mock.
• New Directions are now popular, but also mean, until new girl Marley calls them out. Order is restored: the Gleeks are losers again.
• Sue’s track suit sightings: 1.
• Episode ends happily with a tearful Rachel welcoming her new roommate Kurt, who just transplanted to New York after Blaine pleads with him to get out of his rut.

Rachel’s Melodramatic Solo of the Week:

This week, the writers decided to have her performance of “New York State of Mind” at NYADA cut with Marley’s version and the distinction between the two of them could not be clearer. Where Rachel’s Broadway Baby bravado clearly echoes Barbra Streisand, Marley’s smoky-voiced purr channels Florence Welch meets Adele.

How Sue Sees it:

She doesn’t. Sue’s contribution to plot aside from the revelation that she has an adorable new baby: none, meaning Jane Lynch had a really easy time earning her paycheck this week.

By the way, I’m now referring to the child as “Rosemary’s Baby”.

Song of the Week:

A mean cover of Adele’s “Chasing Pavements”. I said earlier that “new Rachel” Marley echoed Adele -- which is why she was the perfect choice to sing this song for the perfect episode ending.

New Rachel's world-weariness was perfect for this song, which wouldn't have suited Old Rachel (with her eternal optimism). Plus, Old Rachel doesn't rock matching hat-and-outfit combos the way Marley does:

Girlfriend loves her hats. Can't wait to see her bring out her homemade fascinator collection.

Dance Number of the Week:

(Editor's note: now that NYADA will force Rachel to dance (it’s Fame 2012!!!), we've created this new category for our recaps, at least for the duration of Kate Hudson's arc)

This week is a smoking mash-up of Lady Gaga's “Americano” and J-Lo's "Dance Again". It’s clear that in an alternate universe, Kate Hudson would have been a musical theatre star. (In this alterna-world, she made fewer of those How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days type of films and instead treaded the boards) She may not be the grandest belter, but she has full, deep vocals to reach the rafters and legs that can kick to the sky. (Note to self: draft petition to have her play Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway. Another brilliant idea brought to pop culture by YKYLF.)

Also? Lookit them abs:

I love how the dancer in the foreground looks like he's poking K-Hud as if to say, "yup, they're real and they're spectacular." I mean - girlfriend is RIPPED. Kate Hudson has TWO KIDS, you guys, yet is also the owner of the second-best female sixpack on the planet (second to Jessica Ennis).

Even Rachel is shell-shocked. I can’t wait to see these two interact in the coming weeks (assuming that the Cassandra “Miss July” July’s alcoholism doesn’t turn into an after-school special).

Best Outfit of the Week:

As for Rachel, it seems that her allergy to trousers finally makes her blend in in Manhattan:

The combination of the simple but flattering black top with beret and a very well-constructed skirt earns best-dressed honours.

Rachel in a tailored mini isn't news, but so far her wardrobe has been less Midwestern, and with a new touch of added sensuality. And about time! With Gossip Girl ending this year, someone’s got to pick up the theatricality Blair Waldorf will leave behind. Dare I say Rachel's finally getting rid of the cutesy prints?

Worst Outfit of the Week:

Was Sugar born in the same studio where Nolan Miller sewed the costumes from Dynasty? NO. NO. NO.

NO.

Best Outfit of the Week, Uniform Division:

Almost a miss: Kurt's sad Lima Bean cafe (best coffee shop name EVER) uniform, topped off and saved with a hat and an adorable scarf:

I'm glad he leaves Ohio at the end of the episode. He'd die of boredom there.

Mr. Schue’s vest-tie combo:

Nothing has changed, but it’s refreshing that they don’t give him brand-new looks every week. The teen characters are still discovering who they really are, but this guy has found his look and sticks to it.

Future Will & Grace:

Kurt and Rachel, roommates in Manhattan. Come on, Glee, forget New Directions and let’s create an entire show just on these two.

Listening to them banter would be exhausting, but I’m hoping the rhythm lands somewhere between Will & Grace, Gilmore Girls and this awesome clip of Six (Jenna von Oy!!) and her mother from Blossom. (For those of you who are too young to remember, Blossom was popular when the first Bush was in office.)

By the way, for those keeping count of the suggestions we made in our season 4 wish list, I was the YKYLF staffer who mentioned that they should do German opera. One episode down, 23 more to go so that they can act out Wagner’s Ring Cycle.

What did you think, Gleeks? Do you think this season will bring back the glory days of seasons 1 and 2??

Glee: Acafellas

Part 3 of 3: Sneaking Suspicions

An interesting title for this section, you might say. Why, you might ask. Why? Because everyone is this section is hiding something, and it's bound to be juicier than their outfits.

Coach Sue wants to destroy the glee club - why am I not surprised? At least she's doing it in shades of blue and purple, rather vibrant for her.

Not to mention hot pink, very vibrant for her! Go Sue!

As tracksuits go, this aqua and teal blend is more than acceptable.

The Cheerios are Sue's evil flying monkeys, right up until the moment when they fail at sucking the glee from the world and Quinn tells Sue to go fudge herself. Didn't see that one coming.

Speaking of school spirit, here's Noah Puckerman, Puck, the Puckosaurus. He's way too often in sports attire when he should be shirtless, plus he has a mohawk. I like him.

See? A letter jacket when he could so easily have been sans shirt and made the scene ten times better.

Puck's secret? He can sing. He can play the guitar. He's kind of like a rougher, tougher Zac Efron in High School Musical. They have a similar taste in plaid shirts and jeans, as I recall.

When neither singing nor dancing, Puck attracts cougars like this one. That is far too much cleavage pre-nine o'clock, but what a lovely shade of cerulean. Great earrings too. Flawless Botox.

Speaking of flawless, here's Josh Groban with contrasting lapels. There's grey, there's black, there's curly writing on the t-shirt, there's Josh Groban. Who could asky for anything more?

Anyone who got Ken Tanaka could certainly ask for more - more than a striped yellow polo shirt on a non-frat boy, that is. Actually, scratch the frat boy comment, I wouldn't want to see this on anyone.

Maroon is a little more like it! Knee socks are not.

Aqua and black I approve of, although I feel like Ken should wear more shirts and fewer polos. And definitely fewer fanny packs.

Powder blue, very cute. That's almost lilac, in fact, very cute. The question is, is it cute enough for Ken's secret: that he'd do anything to steal Ms Pillsbury's heart from the dashing Señor Schue?

Princess Charming herself is a dream in a white blouse and floral patterned sweater, plus darling white gloves for gardening. Emma can't really put a foot wrong in my eyes, since I bet her shoes are gorgeous too.

How can you have anything against this woman when she matches her knitwear to her jewellery? When she wears strong shades of yellow despite being a redhead? When her hair does that flicky thing?

J'adore this outfit, simply because I didn't know there were different variations on salmon, and Emma makes smoked into smokin'. The bow on her top being off-centre from the bow on her skirt saves her from looking samey and pulls the motif togethr.

Kim Kardashian once posed naked but for pearls, but if you ask me, this is how you should wear them: a pair of pearl drops matching with the adorable white pom-poms on your adorable white sweater, and a belt the same colour as your lipstick.

It's early days for Emma and Ken, and already I'm down on them. Ken has striped yellow and powder blue and aqua - he doesn't need Emma's mad sartorial skillz in his life! Will, however, in all those drab polycotton blends...theirs would be a match made in Heaven, or at least Anthropologie.

Goodbye: The Graduates

So, here’s What You Missed on Glee: It’s the season three finale, and most of the glee kids are graduating. Rachel’s off to NYADA, Quinn’s still going to Yale, Santana’s going to give New York a try, Mike Chang got a dance scholarship and Puck actually managed to pass his senior year. Kurt didn’t get in to NYADA but I bet he finds himself in New York anyway, and Finn surprised us all by joining the army. Oh, and Mercedes graduated even though she’s not a senior because she’s going to L.A. to be a backup singer. Geez, how many spinoffs is Ryan Murphy planning?

Rachel’s Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
Graduation brings out major feelings, so most of the songs this week skewed toward the dramatic. But of course, this wouldn’t be a Glee season finale if it didn’t end with a classic Rachel Berry sing-and-cry. She belted out “Roots Before Branches” after leaving Finn behind to chase her dreams in New York.

Yes, that face happened.

How Sue Sees It: In September, we’ll finally get to meet the celebrity father of Sue’s baby. The anticipation is killing me almost as much as these maternity track suits are.

Track Suit Sightings: Two

Brittany Bon Mots: “I was kinda glad when I found out I was flunking, cause it’ll give me a chance to do my senior year all over again – and way better. I’ll show up to my classes this time, plus I’ll get to be a two-term senior class president…What did you think was going to happen to me? I have a 0.0 grade point average.”

Song of the Week: “You Get What You Give” because it brought back memories of my middle school days and the “Now” compilation CDs. But “In My Life” was a close second. In fact, room may have gotten just a tad dusty during that performance, causing my allergies to flare and my eyes to tear a bit. Shut up, I'm not lying.

Best Outfits of the Week: Quinn really brought it this week with her fun, colorful dresses. And girlfriend really knows how to rock a classy hat.

Aren’t we all so glad she didn’t have to put her graduation cap atop that unfortunate pink hair?

And I loved this look Rachel donned at the beginning of the episode – yes, she’s still wearing knee socks and a tam. But the shoes and the fun, nautical shorts say “Rachel Berry is an adult now!”

But really, does anything beat the outfit she wore to arrive in New York?

More Theyskens' Theory...

I adore the shoes, but it’s the jacket, purse and hat that really knock this one out of the park. It looks a tad warm for June (I assume they graduate in June?) in New York, but it is tres Mary Tyler Moore Show. I waited the whole time for her to throw her hat in the air midway through an intersection, but it never happened.

Worst Outfit of the Week: The worst outfit of the week honor goes to Sugar, for whatever was going on here:

Is that a pleated pleather skirt? What’s going on with her hair? She looks like a country club hooker.

Best Outfits on Non-Graduates: I was going to nominate Emma for this imaginary award, because I love a good cardigan.

The belt adds a cute pop of color as well.

But Brittany really takes a cake in this floral dress and hat.

More Lauren Ralph Lauren...

We’re all assuming she thought she was attending a royal wedding, right? Or a garden party?

Best Graduation Entrance: It’s a toss up between Santana’s sassy shimmy and Kurt’s fabulous high kick.

Best Father/Son Moment Of All Time: The best moment of the entire episode came very early on, when Burt Hummel delivered a graduation gift to his son. He’d learned the Single Ladies dance. Remember when he found Kurt rehearsing it with Brittany and Tina, many moons ago?

It doesn’t get more fabulous than this.

Unless you count the reaction Kurt had, which was a delightful mix of laughter and crying.

I don't think you can end a recap (and a season) with a better photo than that.

I also don't know what Glee will look like in the fall or who will still be on it, but I'm glad this season ended on a fashionable note. See y'all in the fall!

Nationals: A Uniquely Good Time!

So here's what you missed on Glee: The kids head to Chicago for Nationals to take on Unique and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline. Mercedes comes down with food poisoning and almost misses the performance. Sue has officially become a gleekster. Rachel royally impresses Carmen Tibideaux and shuts down douchey Jesse. New Directions totes kicked Vocal Adrenaline's arses (even with a star worthy performance by Unique). And oh yea, EMMA AND SCHUE FINALLY DID IT!!!

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
Not only did Rachel have the most kick ass solo this week, she also had the most kick ass hair. Those curls are beyond gorge, and they definitely gave her some sass. Gurl made Celine beyond proud with her rendition of It's All Coming Back To Me Now. It doesn't matter that she looks like Minnie Mouse because Rachel sent chills running through my spine as I reminisced about my young, broody adolescent days where I thought all life's problems could be solved by a Celine Dion song.

How Sue Sees It:
"With Monique down for the count, we are entering the Hunger Games of show choir competition."

Track Suit Sightings: 4

PS: Sue also won the best accessory award with her miniature trophy medal

Brittany Bon Mots: "And plus, my blanket and my pillow fell in the pool. Disaster."

Song of the Week:
It was actually a difficult choice for me this week. Rachel's Celine solo gets my first vote, but since she can't have everything I'm going with Queen's "We Are the Champions" sung for Schue's big Teacher of the Year award! Meat Loaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" was a very close second.

Best Outfit of the Week: No surprise here. It's our little Emma who's not so little anymore, wink, wink. I absolutely love this black and white flowered dress accented with skinny red belt and red t-strapped shoes.

More White House...

She actually reminds me a bit of Bree Van de Kamp... is Emma already turning into a Real Housewife of Lima?

Worst Outfit of the Week:
Kurt, you know how much I adore you and how much I want to be best friends with you. But there is no way I can condone this outfit, I don't even know what the heck is going on with that thing 'round yo neck. You sure as heck ain't working what yo mama gave ya. And if you would just let me be your BFF4EVA&EVA, you would never have to find yourself in public with a whoa blinged out dog collar, that looks like one Michael Jackson's shoulder pads.

Absolute Cutest Couple on the Face of the Planet:

Seriously, what am I going to do next year without Kurt? Blaine better not find someone new because I won't be able to handle that. And Blaine will never find someone who can look totally adorbs with an Elvis 'do.

Celebrity Judge Who We'd Wish Stayed in Jail:

LiLo you were so gosh darn cute in Parent Trap, now instead of being robbed out of awards, you're stealing jewelry because apparently you can't afford to pay. While your dress could have potential, the super shiny, cheap looking material is blinding my eyes way too much to give it a chance.

Sassiest Celeb Judge who Everyone Secretly Wishes Would Blog About Them:

(Especially us here at YKYLF - but only good things of course)

So just in case Perez ever does read our site, I won't say anything bad about his Pepto Bismol blazer or Pee-Wee Herman-esq pants and socks combo.

Choir Member with the Most Kick Ass At-ti-tude:

Work it sistah/brutha! That dress totes hugs in all the right places! You go gurl/bro!

And the Winner is....

Psych! New Directions won obvi, but Vocal Adrenaline takes the cake in the fashion department. I like sparkles.

Most Perplexing Question of the Night: Why does New Directions always get to sing 3 songs when everyone else only gets to sing 2?

Pilot - Part 2 of 3 - The Chorus Line

As in every teen dramedy, the villains are the cheerleaders. McKinley High's squad is the Cheerios, headed by *cough* virgin queen *cough* Quinn Fabray. She's dating Finn.

Yes, Quinn is with Finn. Gag.

As well as a girlfriend and an endless polo shirt collection, Finn also has a best friend, Puck. Noah Puckerman is a playboy with a mohawk and a cougar fetish, which you don't see that often.

Speaking of never-ending polo shirts, football coach Ken Tanaka is a snappy dresser. He often matches his sports socks to his wide array of polos - the one with red piping is actually quite acceptable, as is the blue. Beige shows sweat marks, and acid-mustard-yellow-puke is just nasty.

Ken's crush is the squeaky clean (due to her OCD) guidance counsellor Emma Pillsbury, whose outfits fill me with glee. Look at those dinky beads.

The gorgeous blend of buttercup, lemon and mustard accessorised with a pop of orange...

Large buttons and short fawn sleeves over a deep blue shirt are a bang on colour combination of nude and dark.

White cuffs and collars add a starched, sexy touch to brown.

And just when you think it can't get any better, Emma wears a black and purple plaid coat over a beautiful pussy-bow tie-neck dress. She's like a ginger female Mr Darcy.

I want this blouse. The gold buttons on the neck and sleeves, the rich colour, the asymmetry of the side tie-neck...Emma adds a gold watch and ring for perfect accessorising.

This colour is very good for her.

In a stunningly horrible foil to Emma's excellent sartorial choices and innate goodness, sadistic cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester lives and dies in Adidas tracksuits. I guess red suits her, but that's the only good thing I have to say about this outfit.

Who knew black tracksuits could be glamorous? No one, that's who, because it's impossible.

I know for a fact that Jane Lynch has blue eyes, by becoming Sue makes them satanic and red (in my mind). I therefore cannot compliment this lovely shade of sky blue for making her eyes pop.