Prom-asaurus: Where You’ll Have a Yabba Dabba Do Time

So here’s what you missed on Glee: Brittany has decreed that everyone shall have a rawr-ing good time at this year’s dinosaur-themed prom. The New Directions are slated to perform at the dance because why outsource the evening’s musical entertainment when you can get it in-house? Everyone’s running for prom queen or king and in a Fiance-of-the-Year move, Finn runs for prom king with his ex-girlfriend instead of being there for his distraught fiancee. The only one not running for high school royalty is Becky, even though she wants it super badly. And her alter-ego is British? Meh, fair enough; so is mine. In the midst of another angsty breakdown, Rachel co-hosts an anti-prom party with Blaine and Kurt that fails miserably. In the end, Becky is crowned the anti-prom queen, Rachel is crowned the legit-prom queen, and surprise! Looks like all the PT with Jar Jar Binks paid off because Quinn can now walk(ish).

Rachel’s Melodramatic Solo of the Week: You know she had to make some sort of dramatic statement, so when Kurt and Blaine crashed what would have/could have been her solo of the week, her melodramatic moment was relegated to one of the fashion variety at the Red Rooster Express.

More Majorica...

How Sue Sees It:
“Advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions.  Haven’t you seen Mad Men?” 

Track Suit Sightings: 3

Song of the Week:
It was slim pickins this week, but it might have to go to “What Makes You Beautiful” because, let’s face it--who here can resist a good boy band?  

 Brittany Bon Mots:
“All hair gel has been banned from the prom.  I’m actually not joking.  Hair gel was not invented until 30 million years after the upper paleolithic stone age.  And frankly, I don’t like the way you look.”

Did someone speak too soon?

Best Outfits:
It’s prom, aka: the Oscars of high school.  And what have we learned after hours of E! Live from the Red Carpet or all that coverage from the Met Gala?  No one cares what the boys are wearing, or who they’re wearing, or if they’ve got a proper bow tie or went rogue with a skinny tie.  The only thing everyone cares about and wants to see is what the girls are wearing.  

Enjoy the obligatory picture of Blaine in all his perfectly attired and immaculately coiffed glory.  Just another day for Mr. Anderson.  

But back to the girls.

I love, love this color on Santana and love even more that she matched her lipstick to her dress.  The fit is glove-like and the combination of the sweetheart and one-shoulder necklines is on-trend.  I also really love that she sang a Selena Gomez song.  

You know what they say: "dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Quinn looks like your Quinn-tessential prom queen with her lilac gown and its flowing skirts. The ruching on her bodice is just enough to keep the dress from falling flat and the diamante straps and waistband add the perfect amount of sparkle so as not to clash with her tiara.  And talk about dressing for the job you want--who cares if you're in a wheelchair? Bring on the sparkly open-toe pumps!

More Badgley Mischka...

It’s obviously a bit unorthodox for a prom dress, but then again, it’s Brittany.  Quite honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she stayed in her Pebbles Flintstones get up.  I’m absolutely in love with the seafoam tulle skirt and and the white tuxedo top (complete with a bow tie!).  The color combination is so refreshing and the jaunty little top hat?  Do I even have to say how much I love that?   

It’s a rare occasion when Mercedes gets her bling right, but it looks like all those misses paid off because this one is a hit.  She looks like a pretty little starburst!  I’m not super digging the random strap zooming across her chest but the color looks great on her and I can’t imagine the last time I saw her with her hair up--she looks so elegant!

Okay, so I lied.  Kurt’s prom look was just as good and yes, I always care about what he wears.  I know some people might think he was a bit too cavalier with his formal wear, but let’s be serious.  It’s high school.  And you have to admit that his anti-prom deconstructed tux with the top hat is way fun.  Plus, he has a boutonniere--that’s about as fancy as it really needs to get. 

Not-So-Best Outfits:

Well, she had to bust out the pilgrim collar--for old time’s sake, you know?  I hope this is a last hurrah sort of situation but to be fair...at least the hideous collar is detachable via the hideous sheer cape.  

This one was definitely a Monet for me.  I liked the dress the instant I saw it, but I think it was the bright lime green that was attractive.  Everything else...too much of a throwback for Rachel, with the little tennis or baseball polka dots and the random green ribbon around the waist.  And sweet heavens, she brought back the white knee socks.  Where were the knee socks when she was prancing about in miniskirts in the middle of February?  And for Pete’s sake, she finished off the whole thing with some sort of ecru/beige/nude ballet flat situation.  But don’t worry, I’ve spared you all the pictures.

At least she had the sense to forgo all that nonsense before prom because I don’t know that Quinn and Santana would have enjoyed forfeiting the crown to someone resembling an overgrown second grader.  And well, if she did, they could have always consoled themselves over Puck’s spiked punch.  

Pilot - Part 2 of 3 - The Chorus Line

As in every teen dramedy, the villains are the cheerleaders. McKinley High's squad is the Cheerios, headed by *cough* virgin queen *cough* Quinn Fabray. She's dating Finn.

Yes, Quinn is with Finn. Gag.

As well as a girlfriend and an endless polo shirt collection, Finn also has a best friend, Puck. Noah Puckerman is a playboy with a mohawk and a cougar fetish, which you don't see that often.

Speaking of never-ending polo shirts, football coach Ken Tanaka is a snappy dresser. He often matches his sports socks to his wide array of polos - the one with red piping is actually quite acceptable, as is the blue. Beige shows sweat marks, and acid-mustard-yellow-puke is just nasty.

Ken's crush is the squeaky clean (due to her OCD) guidance counsellor Emma Pillsbury, whose outfits fill me with glee. Look at those dinky beads.

The gorgeous blend of buttercup, lemon and mustard accessorised with a pop of orange...

Large buttons and short fawn sleeves over a deep blue shirt are a bang on colour combination of nude and dark.

White cuffs and collars add a starched, sexy touch to brown.

And just when you think it can't get any better, Emma wears a black and purple plaid coat over a beautiful pussy-bow tie-neck dress. She's like a ginger female Mr Darcy.

I want this blouse. The gold buttons on the neck and sleeves, the rich colour, the asymmetry of the side tie-neck...Emma adds a gold watch and ring for perfect accessorising.

This colour is very good for her.

In a stunningly horrible foil to Emma's excellent sartorial choices and innate goodness, sadistic cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester lives and dies in Adidas tracksuits. I guess red suits her, but that's the only good thing I have to say about this outfit.

Who knew black tracksuits could be glamorous? No one, that's who, because it's impossible.

I know for a fact that Jane Lynch has blue eyes, by becoming Sue makes them satanic and red (in my mind). I therefore cannot compliment this lovely shade of sky blue for making her eyes pop.

Dance With Somebody - The Whitney Tribute

EVERYONE is sad about Whitney Houston dying. Yes, it was two months ago, but still. Will keeps trying to push the wedding to next month instead of next Christmas, making Emma anxious. Turns out it's because he doesn't want the Glee kids to miss the wedding, and he's scared they won't come back for the ceremony if it's later in the year. That's real sad, Schue. Rachel and Santana are suddenly friends; they have a kickin' duet and Rachel gives Santana a senior picture to put in her locker. Teen Jesus (aka Joe) is falling for Quinn, and while she feels the same way, neither is sure that the other is interested. Typical. Sam and Mercedes are still not-quite-together apparently, because they constantly sit at opposite ends of the classroom. Blaine and Kurt hash out their problems with a POWERFUL Whitney-inspired solo, and then the truth comes out: Blaine feels that all Kurt cares about is NYADA and New York and leaving Lima behind, including Blaine. They basically make up, despite the fact that nobody's problems have been solved. Burt Hummel is also sad about Kurt leaving, and everyone is emotional (So Emotional) about the impending farewells.

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
Nonexistant! Hooray! Instead we were treated to -- wait for it -- an amazing, pumped up cover of "So Emotional" as a duet between Rachel and Santana, of all people! It was peppy and sassy and totally fun.

Okay, well that looks melodramatic but it isn't. They're actually belting their faces off. In a good way.

Brittany Bon Mots: "You're all cool dancers. And Quinn, you are still dancing in my dreams. Also you can fly and breathe fire."

Whoa. Whoa, Brittany. I know it's typical for you to say things in earnest without realizing how insulting they are, but whoa. Poor Q has enough on her plate right now. Also who doesn't Wanna Dance With Somebody? Because that song is INFECTIOUS.

How Sue Sees It:
There was no Sue this week -- doubtless she is awash with hormones and feelings and pregnancy side-effects the likes of which she was not quite ready for and had to call in sick to work. Or something Sue-equivalent of calling in sick to work. Doubling the workload, tripling rehearsals, and drinking lots of protein shakes?? I don't know.

Track Suit Sightings: ZERO.
The lack of neon Adidas and bitter quips was made up for by Emma's candy-sweet ensembles and pop art colors, which brings me to....

Outfit(s) of the Week:
1) Emma's bright solids and geometric necklaces! Ta-da!

  

2) Rachel, Mercedes, Kurt and Santana for their stunning formalwear at the beginning of the episode!

I mean, really.

No, really. Everyone should look this good on stage/at prom.

More Badgley Mischka...

3) Quinn, who busts out the Barbie hot pink... and works it with a lace pattern, a blazer AND breton stripes. Well played, Q.

Q, Barbie pink looks good on you no matter what your physical state!

Best Song:
THIS IS REALLY HARD because I love Whitney and I actually cried a little when I heard the news two months ago. I think it's a toss up between the LEGIT acapella "How Will I Know" that opened the episode -- a phenomenal opening number -- and Kurt's "I Have Nothing" because honestly Kurt Hummel is the only one who can hit them high notes y'all. Oh, wait, Blaine's "It's Not Right, But It's Okay"... dayummm. Basically, what I'm saying is... I shouldn't be allowed to recap this episode, I'm Whitney-biased.

The Spanish Teacher - Part 1 of 2 - ¡Estar de Moda!

Episode Synopsis: There's a tenured position open at McKinley High, and Principal Figgins has Sue and Will going head to head AGAIN for the spot. Sue wants to have a baby and start a family once she's got tenure, but Will has the same idea for himself and Emma. The problem is that Sue is a jerk and Will is a terrible Spanish teacher. His frustrations increase when he starts taking night classes to brush up on his Español and meets David Martinez (RICKY MARTIN) the suave night school teacher who harbors a love for singing, dancing, and glee clubs. When David shows the New Directions kids his moves, everyone agrees that Will needs to work a little bit harder at his job. Mercedes is having issues; she wants to be with Sam, but she is still with her big football playin' boyfriend Shane, and doesn't want to hurt anyone. Emma advises Mercedes and Sam to stop talking to one another for a week to see how they really feel. Meanwhile, Emma is getting the brunt of Will's anxiety about tenure, Rachel tells Kurt and Mercedes about Finn's proposal, Kurt yells at Finn for giving up on himself, swim coach Roz Washington calls out Sue on how old and out of touch she is, and everyone realizes how tough the coming months will be as school comes to an end. Aaaand that's what you missed on GLEE!

Just to start us off on a high note, I want to show off how consistently sweet and lovely Emma Pillsbury is. EVERY EPISODE.

Yes, it's prim and proper and old-fashioned sweet, but it's also very current. We all know she shares Quinn's love of Anthropologie and has a personal stash of Kate Spade.

Exhibit B! Kate Spade skirt with a city skyline. BOOM. So adorable and so simple!

This polka dot day dress was absolutely stunning. I often feel that Emma could walk in and out of Katharine Hepburn/Spencer Tracy film with little to no alterations to her current wardrobe. That's classy.

Kurt is just so dapper sometimes I can hardly stand it. I mean, his motivation in the scene is to go convince Finn not to give up on himself before they've even graduated college and THIS is what he wears into the men's weight room: a belted gray sporting jacket, khakis tucked into boots, and a black turtleneck. Beautiful choices, Kurt my man.

Let's take a second to appreciate Brittany's face. Yes. Okay. Now let's move on to Doctor Quinn: Fashionable Woman. She's rocking a very springy look: I love the watercolor tone of the scarf against the khaki jacket, and when she stands up the dress is really unique too.

The piping trim on the jacket matches the red in the dress. Nice touch! Also, I can't say enough how much I love her haircut. Her long locks were so gorgeous, but this short 'do really does it for me. This is a girl who is taking control of her life.

Weirdly enough, I really find myself drawn to Sugar's outfits. The minute she opened her mouth in that first episode I though, "I don't know if I can handle this," but her wardrobe is so interesting and 70's chic. The furry vest and leopard print top is a combo that I might steer clear of, but Sugar Motta is fearless.

Seriously, I'm beginning to wonder if she pilfered her clothes from Jackie's closet on That 70's Show. The tawny jacket is really cute! (Also, I love Sugar's reactions to things. She's making faces to rival La Ricci's Bitchface Collection... but with a less bitchy edge.)

Okay, I love that Mercedes is rocking a super springy pink lip color with a top that matches. On some people I don't really dig the matching lip thing, but on Mercedes? It's classy. Classy like the sequin-lapel tuxedo jacket she's wearing. Awwww yiss.

Also this color blue looks great on her, and I love her hair. Mercedes is confidence personified! Except for the fact that she's in lurve with two guys... ummm....

Let's just take a second and stare at RICKY MARTIN. I mean, David Martinez, the Spanish teacher. Holy cow. The hair. The shoulders. The bod. I'm having flashbacks to the late 90's when he first started making music... yowza.

In accordance with how glorious RICKY MARTIN is, Santana pairs up with him to do Madonna's "La Isla Bonita" while wearing a red, red lip and a sassy black romper... dang girl.

For some reason I sort of want to watch "Selena" now. Is that wrong?

Michael - Part 1 of 2 - Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough

It was only a matter of time before the New Directions paid tribute to MJ, beyond adorning their wardrobes with sequins and spangles (yes, I’m talking to you, Mercedes) and I think they did a bang-up job of it.  And speaking of a bang-up job, there was a little “Blood on the Dance Floor” when the New Directions confronted the Warblers in a classic West Side Story-esque showdown, only for Blaine to go down in all of his Tony Wycek glory when Sebastian launched a loaded slushie to his eye.  Santana, Artie, and Kurt are hell-bent on retaliation, but only Santana and her under-boob manage to pull off any kind of revengey scheme.  In light of Quinn’s early acceptance into Yale and Kurt’s finalist letter from NYADA, Rachel’s grasping at straws to plan a future for herself when her own NYADA letter is nowhere in sight.  Then, one mini-meltdown and one facially-charged duet later, Rachel agrees to marry Finn…but of course, four seconds later, she finds out she’s a NYADA finalist and her future of wedded bliss doesn’t seem so blissful anymore.  And that's what you missed on Glee! 

It’s go time for the New Directions and they know they need to ramp it up for Sectionals.  Who better to draw inspiration from than the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson.  Blaine busts a move in some awesome goldenrod trousers that are hiked up enough to showcase those amazing two-toned brogues. The white jacket just pulls the whole retro look together. 

But nothing tops the sequined jacket when he channels MJ and clearly, he can’t get enough of the ankle pants…but at least he knows how to work them.  Now, where’s my moonwalk?

I.  Love.  Shawl.  Collars.  It is the King of Collars.  Pair it with a simple striped pattern and you have the perfect winter sweater.  I mean, don’t you just want to cuddle with that—him?  I meant him.  

What sweater vests are to Schue, bow ties are to Blaine.  I’m not arguing.  I’m just sayin'.  

Well, this is what happens when the bow tie comes off and the black leather hoodie comes out.  Sick and tired of Sebastian’s set-list-stealing-arrogant-smirkiness, Blaine wasn’t content to let bygones be bygones with his former glee-mate. So, he and the New Directions meet the Warblers for what was possibly the most gangsta-like experience of their lives.   I say “gansta-like” because Quinn is in a floral dress and Brittany is still in her Cheerios uniform.  Really, ladies?     

And after their badass sing-off in an abandoned underground garage in the sleepy suburbs of Ohio, he was ambushed with a loaded slushie.   The good news?  He gets to recuperate in that very handsome pajama set and the eye-patch doesn’t mess up his perfectly slicked-back coif.  

And there to nurse his battle wounds is the ever-loyal Kurt.  But loyalty aside, what is with the ushanka? 

Unless he’s outside in sub-zero temperatures or sipping vodka in St. Petersburg, that’s just unnecessary. 

I guess we’re going for the deconstructed winter look because he left the hat at home but brought the snow boots and gloves along for the jaunt to the coffee shop. 

And sharp charcoal jacket aside, I’m really digging the sparkly tuxedo stripe down the leg of his trousers. 

Then, distraught over Blaine’s injuries, Kurt resorts to casual wear.  With the exception of the cape — because, come on, it’s a cape! — that side of his closet is kind of meh….unless my eyes have horribly deceived me and that’s a shawl collar I spy, in which case, win.  Shawl collar totes trumps the cape.  

  

Why, hello, cozy. 

He would make a lovely snow bunny sitting at the ski lodge in that wooly wintery piece.

But I wonder, is he studying how best to stick it to Sebastian? Or stewing over his as yet undetermined future with NYADA?  I had to hand it to him—when he had the chance to board the Bitch Town Express, he took the high road.  Nothing, not even going bat sh*t cray on Sebastian for hurting Blaine, was going to stop him from achieving his goal.

Not even earth tones. The tailored corduroy jacket and the plaid scarf are such masculine picks for Kurt, but I’m liking it.

Okay, I’m sorry, but every time I look at this picture I think that’s a Star Trek  Starfleet emblem (the turtleneck doesn’t help) and is it just me, or do his ears look pointier than usual?  Live long and prosper at NYADA, Kurt.  

Honestly, I don’t really care for the sailor crewneck here, but I was beyond thrilled to see a drawing of Kate Middleton posted in his locker.  But then again, what’s a show about the King of Pop without a queen thrown in there somewhere? 

Unlike Kurt, Santana was full steam ahead on the Bitch Town Express—nothing was going to stop her from squeezing a confession out of Sebastian.  Seems fitting, then, that she rocked the military get-up and epaulets — can you think anyone better than Lima Heights’s finest to lead the cavalry against the Warblers?

Loved the “Smooth Criminal” get-up!  It’s always so fun to turn a masculine piece like a tuxedo into something sexy and feminine.   Especially when there are electronics taped to your underboob and payback is on the agenda. 

The booties, however, stole the scene for me. Absolutely perfect.  It’s always better to go after the prize in a good pair of heels.    

Another Glee go-getter?  One Finn Hudson, who won’t stop asking Rachel for an answer to his utterly harebrained marriage proposal.  He’s so determined, so absolutely single-minded that he obviously doesn’t have time to think about what he wears.   Plaid shirts for regular days…

 

…and polo shirts for fancy days.  Maybe he thought sprucing things up with some American Eagle would sway a favorable answer from Rachel?  

With her future hanging in the balance, Rachel suddenly doesn’t know what to do with herself.  She did know that it was winter — finally! — and thought it a good idea to wear a sweater and tights.  I think I’d really like the black detailing on her black skirt if I could see it…unless she’s actually wearing a skort.  Sadly enough, I wouldn’t really put it past her.  

I could almost forgive a skort mishap because of her taste in outerwear.  Flawless every single time — from the gray tweed, the oversized collar, and what looks to be cape sleeves, it’s just perfect.  And her hair is great here. I’m a fan of curls on her. 

Oh, for the love of....  Back to summer wear, are we? 

Luckily for her, the colors are stunning and the print is interesting enough to make me wish I could see the whole ensemble.

I love the simplicity of this dress — the unadorned high neckline, the dainty cap sleeves, and the classic polka dot pattern make this dress a great go-to piece.

See what I mean about her fabu outerwear collection?  You can’t beat a red coat and when you add oversized buttons and a strong shoulder. It just works. 

Overall, her look for this episode has been toned down, and I'm giving golfclaps to the results.  Clean lines, simple patterns, minimal embellishment, and classic colors look so great on her.  This red frock is so flattering, and the soft pleating and little black bow keep the dress from bordering on boring.  Plus, when your primary accessory is an outrageously expressive face, you really can’t have too much going on with your outfit.

Love the lace and the bustier outline at the bodice, but admittedly, she did wear a lot of dark colors — a big change from her usual bright color palette. 

But, I suppose if I was scared out of my mind about the future and only knew that Plan A was a giant question mark and Plan B involved shackling myself to one person and one town for the rest of my life…well, I’d be a smidge depressed, too.