Goodbye: The Graduates

So, here’s What You Missed on Glee: It’s the season three finale, and most of the glee kids are graduating. Rachel’s off to NYADA, Quinn’s still going to Yale, Santana’s going to give New York a try, Mike Chang got a dance scholarship and Puck actually managed to pass his senior year. Kurt didn’t get in to NYADA but I bet he finds himself in New York anyway, and Finn surprised us all by joining the army. Oh, and Mercedes graduated even though she’s not a senior because she’s going to L.A. to be a backup singer. Geez, how many spinoffs is Ryan Murphy planning?

Rachel’s Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
Graduation brings out major feelings, so most of the songs this week skewed toward the dramatic. But of course, this wouldn’t be a Glee season finale if it didn’t end with a classic Rachel Berry sing-and-cry. She belted out “Roots Before Branches” after leaving Finn behind to chase her dreams in New York.

Yes, that face happened.

How Sue Sees It: In September, we’ll finally get to meet the celebrity father of Sue’s baby. The anticipation is killing me almost as much as these maternity track suits are.

Track Suit Sightings: Two

Brittany Bon Mots: “I was kinda glad when I found out I was flunking, cause it’ll give me a chance to do my senior year all over again – and way better. I’ll show up to my classes this time, plus I’ll get to be a two-term senior class president…What did you think was going to happen to me? I have a 0.0 grade point average.”

Song of the Week: “You Get What You Give” because it brought back memories of my middle school days and the “Now” compilation CDs. But “In My Life” was a close second. In fact, room may have gotten just a tad dusty during that performance, causing my allergies to flare and my eyes to tear a bit. Shut up, I'm not lying.

Best Outfits of the Week: Quinn really brought it this week with her fun, colorful dresses. And girlfriend really knows how to rock a classy hat.

Aren’t we all so glad she didn’t have to put her graduation cap atop that unfortunate pink hair?

And I loved this look Rachel donned at the beginning of the episode – yes, she’s still wearing knee socks and a tam. But the shoes and the fun, nautical shorts say “Rachel Berry is an adult now!”

But really, does anything beat the outfit she wore to arrive in New York?

More Theyskens' Theory...

I adore the shoes, but it’s the jacket, purse and hat that really knock this one out of the park. It looks a tad warm for June (I assume they graduate in June?) in New York, but it is tres Mary Tyler Moore Show. I waited the whole time for her to throw her hat in the air midway through an intersection, but it never happened.

Worst Outfit of the Week: The worst outfit of the week honor goes to Sugar, for whatever was going on here:

Is that a pleated pleather skirt? What’s going on with her hair? She looks like a country club hooker.

Best Outfits on Non-Graduates: I was going to nominate Emma for this imaginary award, because I love a good cardigan.

The belt adds a cute pop of color as well.

But Brittany really takes a cake in this floral dress and hat.

More Lauren Ralph Lauren...

We’re all assuming she thought she was attending a royal wedding, right? Or a garden party?

Best Graduation Entrance: It’s a toss up between Santana’s sassy shimmy and Kurt’s fabulous high kick.

Best Father/Son Moment Of All Time: The best moment of the entire episode came very early on, when Burt Hummel delivered a graduation gift to his son. He’d learned the Single Ladies dance. Remember when he found Kurt rehearsing it with Brittany and Tina, many moons ago?

It doesn’t get more fabulous than this.

Unless you count the reaction Kurt had, which was a delightful mix of laughter and crying.

I don't think you can end a recap (and a season) with a better photo than that.

I also don't know what Glee will look like in the fall or who will still be on it, but I'm glad this season ended on a fashionable note. See y'all in the fall!

Prom-asaurus: Where You’ll Have a Yabba Dabba Do Time

So here’s what you missed on Glee: Brittany has decreed that everyone shall have a rawr-ing good time at this year’s dinosaur-themed prom. The New Directions are slated to perform at the dance because why outsource the evening’s musical entertainment when you can get it in-house? Everyone’s running for prom queen or king and in a Fiance-of-the-Year move, Finn runs for prom king with his ex-girlfriend instead of being there for his distraught fiancee. The only one not running for high school royalty is Becky, even though she wants it super badly. And her alter-ego is British? Meh, fair enough; so is mine. In the midst of another angsty breakdown, Rachel co-hosts an anti-prom party with Blaine and Kurt that fails miserably. In the end, Becky is crowned the anti-prom queen, Rachel is crowned the legit-prom queen, and surprise! Looks like all the PT with Jar Jar Binks paid off because Quinn can now walk(ish).

Rachel’s Melodramatic Solo of the Week: You know she had to make some sort of dramatic statement, so when Kurt and Blaine crashed what would have/could have been her solo of the week, her melodramatic moment was relegated to one of the fashion variety at the Red Rooster Express.

More Majorica...

How Sue Sees It:
“Advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions.  Haven’t you seen Mad Men?” 

Track Suit Sightings: 3

Song of the Week:
It was slim pickins this week, but it might have to go to “What Makes You Beautiful” because, let’s face it--who here can resist a good boy band?  

 Brittany Bon Mots:
“All hair gel has been banned from the prom.  I’m actually not joking.  Hair gel was not invented until 30 million years after the upper paleolithic stone age.  And frankly, I don’t like the way you look.”

Did someone speak too soon?

Best Outfits:
It’s prom, aka: the Oscars of high school.  And what have we learned after hours of E! Live from the Red Carpet or all that coverage from the Met Gala?  No one cares what the boys are wearing, or who they’re wearing, or if they’ve got a proper bow tie or went rogue with a skinny tie.  The only thing everyone cares about and wants to see is what the girls are wearing.  

Enjoy the obligatory picture of Blaine in all his perfectly attired and immaculately coiffed glory.  Just another day for Mr. Anderson.  

But back to the girls.

I love, love this color on Santana and love even more that she matched her lipstick to her dress.  The fit is glove-like and the combination of the sweetheart and one-shoulder necklines is on-trend.  I also really love that she sang a Selena Gomez song.  

You know what they say: "dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Quinn looks like your Quinn-tessential prom queen with her lilac gown and its flowing skirts. The ruching on her bodice is just enough to keep the dress from falling flat and the diamante straps and waistband add the perfect amount of sparkle so as not to clash with her tiara.  And talk about dressing for the job you want--who cares if you're in a wheelchair? Bring on the sparkly open-toe pumps!

More Badgley Mischka...

It’s obviously a bit unorthodox for a prom dress, but then again, it’s Brittany.  Quite honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she stayed in her Pebbles Flintstones get up.  I’m absolutely in love with the seafoam tulle skirt and and the white tuxedo top (complete with a bow tie!).  The color combination is so refreshing and the jaunty little top hat?  Do I even have to say how much I love that?   

It’s a rare occasion when Mercedes gets her bling right, but it looks like all those misses paid off because this one is a hit.  She looks like a pretty little starburst!  I’m not super digging the random strap zooming across her chest but the color looks great on her and I can’t imagine the last time I saw her with her hair up--she looks so elegant!

Okay, so I lied.  Kurt’s prom look was just as good and yes, I always care about what he wears.  I know some people might think he was a bit too cavalier with his formal wear, but let’s be serious.  It’s high school.  And you have to admit that his anti-prom deconstructed tux with the top hat is way fun.  Plus, he has a boutonniere--that’s about as fancy as it really needs to get. 

Not-So-Best Outfits:

Well, she had to bust out the pilgrim collar--for old time’s sake, you know?  I hope this is a last hurrah sort of situation but to be fair...at least the hideous collar is detachable via the hideous sheer cape.  

This one was definitely a Monet for me.  I liked the dress the instant I saw it, but I think it was the bright lime green that was attractive.  Everything else...too much of a throwback for Rachel, with the little tennis or baseball polka dots and the random green ribbon around the waist.  And sweet heavens, she brought back the white knee socks.  Where were the knee socks when she was prancing about in miniskirts in the middle of February?  And for Pete’s sake, she finished off the whole thing with some sort of ecru/beige/nude ballet flat situation.  But don’t worry, I’ve spared you all the pictures.

At least she had the sense to forgo all that nonsense before prom because I don’t know that Quinn and Santana would have enjoyed forfeiting the crown to someone resembling an overgrown second grader.  And well, if she did, they could have always consoled themselves over Puck’s spiked punch.  

Pilot - Part 2 of 3 - The Chorus Line

As in every teen dramedy, the villains are the cheerleaders. McKinley High's squad is the Cheerios, headed by *cough* virgin queen *cough* Quinn Fabray. She's dating Finn.

Yes, Quinn is with Finn. Gag.

As well as a girlfriend and an endless polo shirt collection, Finn also has a best friend, Puck. Noah Puckerman is a playboy with a mohawk and a cougar fetish, which you don't see that often.

Speaking of never-ending polo shirts, football coach Ken Tanaka is a snappy dresser. He often matches his sports socks to his wide array of polos - the one with red piping is actually quite acceptable, as is the blue. Beige shows sweat marks, and acid-mustard-yellow-puke is just nasty.

Ken's crush is the squeaky clean (due to her OCD) guidance counsellor Emma Pillsbury, whose outfits fill me with glee. Look at those dinky beads.

The gorgeous blend of buttercup, lemon and mustard accessorised with a pop of orange...

Large buttons and short fawn sleeves over a deep blue shirt are a bang on colour combination of nude and dark.

White cuffs and collars add a starched, sexy touch to brown.

And just when you think it can't get any better, Emma wears a black and purple plaid coat over a beautiful pussy-bow tie-neck dress. She's like a ginger female Mr Darcy.

I want this blouse. The gold buttons on the neck and sleeves, the rich colour, the asymmetry of the side tie-neck...Emma adds a gold watch and ring for perfect accessorising.

This colour is very good for her.

In a stunningly horrible foil to Emma's excellent sartorial choices and innate goodness, sadistic cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester lives and dies in Adidas tracksuits. I guess red suits her, but that's the only good thing I have to say about this outfit.

Who knew black tracksuits could be glamorous? No one, that's who, because it's impossible.

I know for a fact that Jane Lynch has blue eyes, by becoming Sue makes them satanic and red (in my mind). I therefore cannot compliment this lovely shade of sky blue for making her eyes pop.

On My Way - Part 1 of 2 - Pre-Regionals

At best, I would describe this week’s episode of Glee as tonally inconsistent. At worst, I’d describe it as a disastrous mash-up of two PSAs that had no place being in the same episode, or perhaps on television at all. In the show’s first act, we saw Karofsky deal with some serious bullying and attempt suicide. Then the show dealt with that in strange, misguided ways. (Kurt rushing to the side of his former tormenter, Schu giving an Irish kid peanut butter to teach them about teen suicide, Sebastian immediately reforming his smarmy, jerkwad ways because that’s apparently what happens when someone tries to kill himself). In the second act we had Regionals, which felt incredibly off considering what had happened in the episode. I can’t enjoy the Troubletones belting out “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” in this context. And in the third act we had Rachel and Finn’s woulda-been wedding, and an incredibly obtuse lesson about the dangers of texting and driving. Is Quinn dead? We won’t know until the show is back from hiatus in April. And that’s what you missed on Glee!

This is a difficult episode to cover for a snarky fashion website, both because it dealt with some serious issues and because I have some serious problems with all that went down. But we have a job to do, folks, and I’m going to do it! Let’s start by talking about Rachel. How many red dresses does girlfriend own?

You have to admit, it’s a great color on her.

And this adorable nautical dress would have made YFYLF writer L-A swoon, had she not been too busy ranting about the episode.

Rachel also looked absolutely lovely in this polka-dot number with the red belt.

The role of blushing bride suits her, I guess. She really killed it (oh god, accidental bad pun – sorry) on the fashion front in this episode. I’m less impressed with Kurt. I wish we could see the stripes he’s rocking underneath that bland jacket. Love the look on his face, though – it’s because he’s addressing our nemesis, Sebastian.

Smarmy, smarmy, smarmy. Hate.

Kurt made questionable fashion choices throughout the episode. There was this shirt:

 Is that vintage? Like, vintage from the 1800s? It looks like it came from the set of Little House on the Prairie and he was out working in the fields with Pa Ingalls.

At least it’s better than this:

What is that supposed to be? Is he a sad clown? A sad mime? An old-timey black and white circus ringleader?

He did look cute here with Blaine – these boys sure know how to rock a jacket.

Kurt’s fashion choices have been questionable lately, but this red sweater and bow-tie combo makes my fashionable heart flutter.

And he brings the prep again in a striped polo.

I think we can attribute the morose facial expressions to the fact that Darren Criss knows he should have extended his stint on Broadway rather than take part in this Very Very Special Episode.

So how did the God Squad deal with the news that Karofsky had tried to take his own life? Mercedes ordered an Edible Arrangement.

I guess Mercedes is back to dressing like it’s 1998?

Sam and Dreadlock Teen Jesus looked sad in grey.

And Quinn questioned how someone could ever get to a place where taking your own life was an option.

Oh Quinn, have some compassion! Sure you got knocked up during high school, but everyone still loved you! Or that’s what Kurt argued, but he’s a little bit wrong. Quinn’s parents did practically disown her after all. And she went through that weird punk phase. Now she’s back to cardigans and floral skirts. It’s a good look for her.

Here’s another cute sweater/skirt outfit on Quinn, and again Mercedes looks like she’s stepped straight out of the 90s in that shiny jacket.

Quinn doesn’t always look cute, though – sometimes the demure looks is way too over the top. In this navy dress she looks about 45 years old.

Speaking of mistakes, let’s take a look at Sugar. First there was this:

What is on her head? What is that? A bow made out of ground up $100 bills? And don’t even get me started on the Irish kid and all those Charlie Sheen shirts. Who told him that’s what Americans wear?

Here he is again, in a shirt that makes him look like the only place to shop in Ireland is a Goodwill circa 1957.

He’s eating peanut butter because that’s how Will decided to talk about teen suicide. Yes, there are still teachers at McKinley High!

Just keep telling yourself you’re getting through to them, Will...

Tina certainly looks like she understands.

Or perhaps she’s just lost in thought, wondering if Sugar was dropped on her head as a baby.

With all the talk of teen suicide, you’d think there’d have been more appearances from Emma, the school guidance counselor.

There she is, with apparently the only faculty at McKinley High, learning the news of Karofsky’s attempted suicide. And I’m pretty sure that was the only time we saw her. Was she too busy handing out pamphlets to stop Will from pulling that stupid peanut butter gag?

We couldn’t get a good look at her outfit, but the detailing on her blouse was divine.

Next, onto Regionals and Rachel’s wedding!

On My Way - Part 2 of 2 - Three Regionals Performances and a Wedding

Even though a local teenager tried to kill himself because of bullying, Regionals still went off as planned. Show choir stops for nothing!

First were The Warblers, who took donations for Lady Gaga’s charity. Sebastian tried to say it was because he felt guilty over being so mean to Karofsky, but you know it was just to impress the judges.

Smarmy, smarmy, smarmy. Hate.

Don’t you think The Warblers should get some bedazzled Dalton blazers for their competition performances? I do. Ever since Blaine left they’ve been lacking in the pizzazz department.

Next was...well, I don’t know what this was.

Let’s pretend that never happened, shall we?

And then there was New Directions.

LOVE the outfits. Gold lame bow-ties and suspenders on the boys, full-skirted dresses with gold and red accents on the girls? Sign me up! It’s too bad their performances didn’t measure up to their fashion. Normally I would love the Troubletones belting out a Kelly Clarkson song, but in this context singing “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” while executing cheeky dance moves was, to say the least, unsettling.

It didn’t matter. They still won. Yay? Oh, and this happened:

WTF?

When Rachel and Finn decided to celebrate the win with an ill-advised teen wedding, I began taking bets on whether they’d be divorced by Nationals. But before they could tie the knot, Quinn and Kurt had some things to take care of. For Kurt, that was offering comfort to his one time tormenter, Karofsky.

I have mixed feelings about the scene (a lovely thought I suppose, but it IS alright if you don’t want to be BFFs with your former bully), but my thoughts on the outfit are clear: It’s dreadful. Did he borrow that stiff collar from Tina?

Quinn’s mission was to rejoin the Cheerios and make amends with Rachel. Because you’re nothing if you’re not a cheerleader. And because not supporting a poorly thought out teen wedding makes you a bitch.

Meanwhile, Sue told Will that she’s pregnant. PREGNANT!

So I guess snarking on maternity Adidas tracksuits is in my future?

At the courthouse, all the parents in the Berry/Hummel/Hudson universe were panicking about the impending nuptials.

But at least they looked good doing it.

Alright, concerns about a couple of kids getting married aside, Rachel did look beautiful.

Classic, demure, breathtaking.

I just wish I could say the same about her bridesmaids.

The cut is OK, but that shade of pink reminds me of Pepto Bismol. Quinn would have been better off attending in her Cheerios uniform or, better yet, her Regionals dress. And then this wouldn’t have happened.

Yep, that’s a truck hitting Quinn’s car as she stupidly looks the other way while sending a text. DON’T TEXT AND DRIVE, KIDDIES! I mean, seriously, don’t – but there was really no need for Glee to jam that message down our throats in a painfully drawn out, obvious PSA disguised as a plotline.

And that’s a wrap til April, folks! What do you think? Is Quinn dead? Will she be buried in a floral dress and ankle boots?