Nationals: A Uniquely Good Time!

So here's what you missed on Glee: The kids head to Chicago for Nationals to take on Unique and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline. Mercedes comes down with food poisoning and almost misses the performance. Sue has officially become a gleekster. Rachel royally impresses Carmen Tibideaux and shuts down douchey Jesse. New Directions totes kicked Vocal Adrenaline's arses (even with a star worthy performance by Unique). And oh yea, EMMA AND SCHUE FINALLY DID IT!!!

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
Not only did Rachel have the most kick ass solo this week, she also had the most kick ass hair. Those curls are beyond gorge, and they definitely gave her some sass. Gurl made Celine beyond proud with her rendition of It's All Coming Back To Me Now. It doesn't matter that she looks like Minnie Mouse because Rachel sent chills running through my spine as I reminisced about my young, broody adolescent days where I thought all life's problems could be solved by a Celine Dion song.

How Sue Sees It:
"With Monique down for the count, we are entering the Hunger Games of show choir competition."

Track Suit Sightings: 4

PS: Sue also won the best accessory award with her miniature trophy medal

Brittany Bon Mots: "And plus, my blanket and my pillow fell in the pool. Disaster."

Song of the Week:
It was actually a difficult choice for me this week. Rachel's Celine solo gets my first vote, but since she can't have everything I'm going with Queen's "We Are the Champions" sung for Schue's big Teacher of the Year award! Meat Loaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" was a very close second.

Best Outfit of the Week: No surprise here. It's our little Emma who's not so little anymore, wink, wink. I absolutely love this black and white flowered dress accented with skinny red belt and red t-strapped shoes.

More White House...

She actually reminds me a bit of Bree Van de Kamp... is Emma already turning into a Real Housewife of Lima?

Worst Outfit of the Week:
Kurt, you know how much I adore you and how much I want to be best friends with you. But there is no way I can condone this outfit, I don't even know what the heck is going on with that thing 'round yo neck. You sure as heck ain't working what yo mama gave ya. And if you would just let me be your BFF4EVA&EVA, you would never have to find yourself in public with a whoa blinged out dog collar, that looks like one Michael Jackson's shoulder pads.

Absolute Cutest Couple on the Face of the Planet:

Seriously, what am I going to do next year without Kurt? Blaine better not find someone new because I won't be able to handle that. And Blaine will never find someone who can look totally adorbs with an Elvis 'do.

Celebrity Judge Who We'd Wish Stayed in Jail:

LiLo you were so gosh darn cute in Parent Trap, now instead of being robbed out of awards, you're stealing jewelry because apparently you can't afford to pay. While your dress could have potential, the super shiny, cheap looking material is blinding my eyes way too much to give it a chance.

Sassiest Celeb Judge who Everyone Secretly Wishes Would Blog About Them:

(Especially us here at YKYLF - but only good things of course)

So just in case Perez ever does read our site, I won't say anything bad about his Pepto Bismol blazer or Pee-Wee Herman-esq pants and socks combo.

Choir Member with the Most Kick Ass At-ti-tude:

Work it sistah/brutha! That dress totes hugs in all the right places! You go gurl/bro!

And the Winner is....

Psych! New Directions won obvi, but Vocal Adrenaline takes the cake in the fashion department. I like sparkles.

Most Perplexing Question of the Night: Why does New Directions always get to sing 3 songs when everyone else only gets to sing 2?

On My Way - Part 1 of 2 - Pre-Regionals

At best, I would describe this week’s episode of Glee as tonally inconsistent. At worst, I’d describe it as a disastrous mash-up of two PSAs that had no place being in the same episode, or perhaps on television at all. In the show’s first act, we saw Karofsky deal with some serious bullying and attempt suicide. Then the show dealt with that in strange, misguided ways. (Kurt rushing to the side of his former tormenter, Schu giving an Irish kid peanut butter to teach them about teen suicide, Sebastian immediately reforming his smarmy, jerkwad ways because that’s apparently what happens when someone tries to kill himself). In the second act we had Regionals, which felt incredibly off considering what had happened in the episode. I can’t enjoy the Troubletones belting out “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” in this context. And in the third act we had Rachel and Finn’s woulda-been wedding, and an incredibly obtuse lesson about the dangers of texting and driving. Is Quinn dead? We won’t know until the show is back from hiatus in April. And that’s what you missed on Glee!

This is a difficult episode to cover for a snarky fashion website, both because it dealt with some serious issues and because I have some serious problems with all that went down. But we have a job to do, folks, and I’m going to do it! Let’s start by talking about Rachel. How many red dresses does girlfriend own?

You have to admit, it’s a great color on her.

And this adorable nautical dress would have made YFYLF writer L-A swoon, had she not been too busy ranting about the episode.

Rachel also looked absolutely lovely in this polka-dot number with the red belt.

The role of blushing bride suits her, I guess. She really killed it (oh god, accidental bad pun – sorry) on the fashion front in this episode. I’m less impressed with Kurt. I wish we could see the stripes he’s rocking underneath that bland jacket. Love the look on his face, though – it’s because he’s addressing our nemesis, Sebastian.

Smarmy, smarmy, smarmy. Hate.

Kurt made questionable fashion choices throughout the episode. There was this shirt:

 Is that vintage? Like, vintage from the 1800s? It looks like it came from the set of Little House on the Prairie and he was out working in the fields with Pa Ingalls.

At least it’s better than this:

What is that supposed to be? Is he a sad clown? A sad mime? An old-timey black and white circus ringleader?

He did look cute here with Blaine – these boys sure know how to rock a jacket.

Kurt’s fashion choices have been questionable lately, but this red sweater and bow-tie combo makes my fashionable heart flutter.

And he brings the prep again in a striped polo.

I think we can attribute the morose facial expressions to the fact that Darren Criss knows he should have extended his stint on Broadway rather than take part in this Very Very Special Episode.

So how did the God Squad deal with the news that Karofsky had tried to take his own life? Mercedes ordered an Edible Arrangement.

I guess Mercedes is back to dressing like it’s 1998?

Sam and Dreadlock Teen Jesus looked sad in grey.

And Quinn questioned how someone could ever get to a place where taking your own life was an option.

Oh Quinn, have some compassion! Sure you got knocked up during high school, but everyone still loved you! Or that’s what Kurt argued, but he’s a little bit wrong. Quinn’s parents did practically disown her after all. And she went through that weird punk phase. Now she’s back to cardigans and floral skirts. It’s a good look for her.

Here’s another cute sweater/skirt outfit on Quinn, and again Mercedes looks like she’s stepped straight out of the 90s in that shiny jacket.

Quinn doesn’t always look cute, though – sometimes the demure looks is way too over the top. In this navy dress she looks about 45 years old.

Speaking of mistakes, let’s take a look at Sugar. First there was this:

What is on her head? What is that? A bow made out of ground up $100 bills? And don’t even get me started on the Irish kid and all those Charlie Sheen shirts. Who told him that’s what Americans wear?

Here he is again, in a shirt that makes him look like the only place to shop in Ireland is a Goodwill circa 1957.

He’s eating peanut butter because that’s how Will decided to talk about teen suicide. Yes, there are still teachers at McKinley High!

Just keep telling yourself you’re getting through to them, Will...

Tina certainly looks like she understands.

Or perhaps she’s just lost in thought, wondering if Sugar was dropped on her head as a baby.

With all the talk of teen suicide, you’d think there’d have been more appearances from Emma, the school guidance counselor.

There she is, with apparently the only faculty at McKinley High, learning the news of Karofsky’s attempted suicide. And I’m pretty sure that was the only time we saw her. Was she too busy handing out pamphlets to stop Will from pulling that stupid peanut butter gag?

We couldn’t get a good look at her outfit, but the detailing on her blouse was divine.

Next, onto Regionals and Rachel’s wedding!

Yes/No - Part 1 of 1 - We found love and fashion

Here’s what you missed on Glee: Sam and Mercedes are still thinking about their summer lovin', but she's got that football player whose name I can’t remember. Becky sets her sights on Artie, who learns a valuable lesson about his friends being jerks when they try to talk him out of dating her. It doesn't work out, but that's okay, Becky's got Helen Mirren for a voiceover and Sue to eat ice cream and watch Lifetime movies with. Emma wants to get married and Will is thisclose to being persuaded by her horrible parents not to propose. In the end, he changes his mind and gets New Directions to do most of the work on his proposal. Finn's considering the army and proposing to Rachel while they're still in high school. Because legally binding marriage vows are always the way to deal with your teenage insecurities about the future (or lack thereof). And that’s what you missed on Glee!

Welcome back, Gleeks! It’s been awhile since the Christmas episode was Very Special and removed us from the narrative arc of the season, which is just another ride to sectionals. Despite the drama, it appears that Mercedes is back and in her element, as her first leopard-print coat and “Foxy” (as in Brown?) necklace shows us that this girl is ready to spill the beans in a Glee version of I Know Who You Did Last Summer.

Hey, isn’t it snowing in Ohio in mid-January? Why is no one bundled up? Because it can’t work with the Grease intro, that’s why. Honestly, why do we still care about Grease? Will we feel the same way about Clueless in ten years’ time or Bring It On by 2015? Glee producers: please stop with the obvious, safe music selections and perhaps swap this with something more imaginative, like say Bjork’s “Violently Happy”. I mean, both songs convey essentially the same meaning, right? Right? (Or not).

Clearly, New Directions is intent on recreating all the magic of that movie because they even did an “homage” to the original production number in the play. I mean, seriously, is this musical – and I admit that I HATE GREASE AND I WANT IT TO DIE – just going to follow me to the grave??? Why don’t more high schools do something simpler for their annual school musical, like Wagner’s Ring Cycle? (Note to producers: please don’t take this idea and turn it into reality unless you’re going to cut YKYLF a minimum 25% finder’s fee for my brilliant idea.)

I normally don’t really give a fat turd about Sue’s minions, but Becky's inner monologue is delivered by HELEN MIRREN. For this, I may forgive Glee for inflicting Grease on us. And for never giving Becky an outfit to wear other than the Cheerio uniform.

So yeah, Becky’s on the prowl and decides to make Arty her soul mate. Or something.

PS: Bonus points to Becky for co-opting the gay term “rice queen” and applying it to herself to dismiss Mike Chang as a potential mate, and extra points for having Dame Helen deliver it like a proud grandma who’s just picked up her first issue of Out magazine.

I absolutely love the Irish potato-faced lad’s outfit. Every detail works and is actually part of my own wardrobe, which means that unlike most of the outfits on this show, it’s something that real people might actually wear.

The vest that’s ran away from his dad’s late-80s wedding suit (thoughtfully unbuttoned at the bottom), the newsboy cap, the rolled-up sleeves, the bitchin’ belt buckle and dark jeans, the watch with a strap so big it might as well be a bitchin’ leather cuff all its own … it’s workin’. Midwestern boys, this is the fashion statement you want to emulate to be cool but not make everyone think you’re playing on Blaine and Kurt’s team.

Switching gears and setting up for the rest of the episode, Emma schools us all on mixing patterns: take one bold print like the leafy top and pair it with a skirt colour that is just a shade away from one of the base colours, in a less obvious print. Top it all off with a bit bow and it’s adorable. Plus, the Judy Jetson-style lunch box is sending me over the edge.

Speaking of matching prints, I wonder if Sugar’s outfit was once sold together with Mercedes’s coat? They appear to have come from the same retired stripper’s closet.

Behold, Sam, burner of many lady parts and gay parts. My only complaint is that on American TV, all of the men's underwear and swimwear are board shorts, while in Europe they actually dress like they’re competitive, i.e. in Speedos.

It’s like extra-large displays of text messages on cell phones. IT ONLY HAPPENS ON TV. I’d like to know if there’s some morality clause stating men are not allowed in any body-hugging undies or swimwear?

Thankfully, we have the arrival of a fierce new synchro-swim coach, Roz Washington, who I will swimfan love forever because of her matching outfit and SHE’S WEARING AN OLYMPIC MEDAL AS AN ACCESSORY.  I am still looking to find the perfect chocolate coin to add to my souvenir lanyards and parade around with my memorabilia in town every time I take tourists to visit the Olympic flame in Vancouver.

While Sam is mocked for being in synchro and in glee club, no one makes any comments about the black-red-matching-tie-to-T-shirt combo the men are sporting here. In the most recent Project Runway: All Stars, Badgely and Mischka savaged a contestant from combining the two colours, and while I didn’t agree with them at the time, I agree with them now. The ties look like a lazy accessory in an attempt to look metro, but the execution is extremely poor. 

Plus, why are they now karaoke-ing to “Moves Like Jagger”? Every time I hear that song I think of Patsy on Absolutely Fabulous (which has just returned, yeay!!!!) referring to Mick as “an old scrotum with a pair of lips attached”.

In the lead-up to the grand proposal, I note that Rachel has been largely absent in the first third of the episode. Thankfully, they have her return with a clipboard and a predictably “Rachel” outfit. She has yet to look into pants. I am wondering if an allergy to trousers is what binds Lea Michele and Lady Gaga together.

The ladies' stripped-down version of “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face”, was quite possibly the best Roberta Flack cover since the Fugees and the awesome butchery of “Killing Me Softly” in About a Boy.

Retreating briefly to the ladies’ room to deal with an emotional Mercedes, coming to terms with her old feelings for trouty-lipped Sam, they are tastefully if unremarkably dressed, except for Rachel, who wears the most amazing bodice atop her dress. It’s cut the right way, it doesn’t look try-hard, and it’s still elegant. Best dressed of the week so far, clearly.

Emma’s hateful parents, meanwhile, make some remark about being “allowed Christmas” by “Comrade Obama”. And to prove their loyalty to Christmas, they match their ginger hair with green sweaters.

The fact that it’s now mid-January and even the Russians are done with their two-weeks-later Orthodox Christmas and just shows you how backwards and hateful the Pillsburys are. (And if they ever meet me, a Commie-loving homo, I can only say to them: ах ты сучка. Look it up.)

Plot point question: why would Will ask Emma’s parents for her hand in marriage? Didn’t we establish that they are ginger supremacists and are actually racists? Why would he want THEIR approval? Is this making sense?

Oh no I won’t say that, because look at the gorgeous outfit on Emma. She’s really hitting it out of the park on a regular basis. Having a touch of print to the gloves is a thoughtful surprise and doesn’t detract away from the sweater and blouse.

Even though I’ve now concluded that the entire wardrobe of The Help was directly inspired by Emma, I must say that the character is comparable to a lovely flower, specifically, a beautiful flower that grew out of a pot of dirt and fertilized within an inch of its life. (“ах ты сучка” now applies to me.)

Remember when I mentioned how Rory dresses with style that isn’t over-the-top? Case in point: Kurt, sporting what appears to be part of a fireplace tongs deconstructed and reconstructed as support for his tie. I’m not sure what I’m looking at: is it a chain like the one Nicole Kidman wore in sexual slavery in Dogville? Are they wing-tipped shoes that Kurt hasn’t finished bronzing yet? Oh I give up. Damn you, Kurt, your accessory has confounded me! Helen Mirren, where are you????

Even Arty’s confounded. Look at him. And the man’s wearing a Cosby sweater.

The stress is getting to Emma, too. I mean, just look at her in her matching outfit with sweater set and Day-Glo gloves that make her look like a perpetual kindergarten teacher.

Ryan Murphy mentioned there would be no Glee spin-off, but what I’d like to now see is a time-travel version where Emma gets sucked into 1960s Mississippi, in a dream crossover between Glee and The Help. If anyone from Fox is reading this, I have now given you two grand ideas on how to improve Glee. Please look into them and call me so we can discuss royalties.

We now come to the epic proposal involving a big, literally splashy production number. But before the big finish, I bring you this shot of singular proof that Glee has jumped the shark: Sue Sylvester is being lovely and decent and taking part in the production number to bring Will and Emma together. What’s next?

Santana the wonder lesbian is sporting an old-fashioned swimsuit. That's what's next. We live in dark times. Although, she does look amazing. Plus, with an Evita pose like that, it’s no wonder she got to sing the Rita Moreno part in the amazing production of West Side Story.

Just in case you were wondering if Glee remains the gayest show on TV, look no further than Mr. Schue dressed as Tommy Tune. Plus, the whole venture is a recreation of Ethel Merman’s outlandish 1930s musical numbers.

It’s certainly big and creative, but the musical selection has sucked to date. Quite frankly, if someone proposes to me to a Rihanna song, I’d sooner say yes if he sang “Rude Boy” rather than to “We Found Love”.

And finally we have Finn’s shocking proposal to Rachel. He states that he’s a big fat zero, he claims that his life is going nowhere, and he knows Rachel will turn out pretty spectacularly. If I were Rachel, I’d say “thanks, but you just told me how you’re going to suck, so if I’m ever going to get me a Tony Award and a record deal, I don’t want you hanging around while I go around the world being totally awesome”.

Plus, Rachel’s dress is a bit blah. You know she'd want to be proposed to while wearing a better dress. And a musical number to go with said proposal. Girlfriend likes to plan for these things. You don't just surprise her with a ring after class.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am off to find Helen Mirren and ask her if she'd like to do voiceovers in my head on occasion.

Extraordinary Merry Christmas - Part 1 of 2 - Morose Christmas

Here's what you missed on Glee: New Directions gets a big offer to film a holiday special for a local Lima TV station, but unfortunately it conflicts with the appearance Sue scheduled for them at the local soup kitchen. Isn’t Christmas the time for giving? For Sam and Quinn it is, but all the other kids opt for fame and glory over generosity. Until the plug gets pulled on the special, and they all show up to lend a hand. Rachel learns an important lesson and instead of exchanging Christmas (Hanukkah?) gifts with Finn, they return them and donate the money to charity. And that's what you missed on Glee!

This was a polarizing episode of Glee. (Aren’t they all these days?) Some people liked the Christmas special portion of the episode, others found it dull. Some people were bothered by Rachel’s sudden obsession with Christmas (remember, she’s Jewish) while others enjoyed the lesson about the true Christmas spirit that we all learned. No matter where you stand though, it seems like almost everyone agreed on two things: “Let Them Know It’s Christmastime” is an awkward song to sing at a soup kitchen and the clothes in this episode were off the hook. For the most part. But let’s kick things off with the holiday outfits that were feeling a little more morose than merry.

Quinn looks nice here, but everyone else could use an extra dose of holiday cheer. Uh, Tina? Just because you’re wearing a cute hat doesn’t mean you’re dressed well. White tights are for toddlers or nurses and paired with those red shoes and giant collar, you look as though you’re dressed as an elf. Holiday, yes. Holiday chic, no.

And this is simply the first of many times we’ll see Sam dressed as though he’s trying to blend into the wall. Here’s another example:

Come on Sam, step it up. You’re setting a terrible example for the Irish kid.

What’s his name again? Oh right, Rory. It’s hard to remember because his one distinguishing characteristic is “Irish”. He sang about feeling homesick over the holidays, but the only person who seemed to care was Sam.

Once most of the glee kids chose to bail on their gig at the soup kitchen, Quinn was feeling pretty blue herself. Her green outfit (which I couldn’t get a great look at) was merry, but her face was all kinds of morose.

I’m convinced that the writers have given Quinn a terrible storyline this season because Dianna Agron just looks so damn pretty when she’s sad. I love the bold lips she’s been doing lately.

Also looking rather morose? Kurt. For the most part Kurt delivered in the outlandish holiday attire department, but then he also showed up like this:

What is this, your audition for the lead role in A Very Camo Christmas? And why is that headband flattening your hair like that? Kurt, you’ve let me down.

The McKinley High faculty also got into the festive holiday spirit, but in all the wrong ways. Mr. Schu showed up in a plaid vest that's even louder and more obnoxious than his rapping.

Gross.

Even worse was Sue. Wearing Adidas tracksuits in red and green don’t make them festive. She could have at least worn a sparkly one or something.

The most morose of all were the members of New Directions who were assigned the worst parts in the Christmas special. Enter Finn and Puck.

Artie’s obsession with the Star Wars Christmas special really made his own take a turn for the worse. It just made no sense at all. But at least these boys got to sing a song.

I can only assume that Mike Chang’s part got cut in favor of the Yule log video.

He played Santa. Yawn. He didn’t even get to dance very much.

Still, it could have been worse. He could have been Itchy The Elf.

This is tragic. The poor guy! It’s Christmas, he’s away from his friends and family, AND he has to dress up in a humiliating elf costume? Yikes. Let’s move on to the fun, festive fashion.

Extraordinary Merry Christmas - Part 2 of 2 - Merry Christmas

The holidays mean a lot of things. Presents, candy, parties, eggnog. All of these things are great. But for those of us who love fashion, it also means festive sweaters, sparkly accessories and pretty dresses. And Glee delivered on all of those fronts.

Artie finds himself perpetually on my Worst Dressed list, but Christmas is the one and only time of year when his grandpa sweaters become not only appropriate, but charming.

So. Many. Reindeer. I’d love to know how he manages to store so many sweaters. There are boys in the glee club who dress for the holidays more stylishly though, and I’d like to nominate Blaine for best dressed male.

The velvet blazer he rocked during the opening number? Divine. Among Blaine’s many talents are pulling off a bow tie and shooting Kurt sideways glances. See?

I wish he’d look at me that way…OK, getting off track. Blaine even knows how to out-sweater Artie.

Kurt looks cute here, but his best moment came during “All I Want For Christmas Is You”.

All I want for Christmas is for Kurt to dress like a candycane all year round.

The ladies of New Directions really brought it this week, though. How many beautiful retro dresses does Rachel Berry own?

Despite not being a fan of her Heidi braids, I love how Rachel looks here – red is such a good color on her. Quinn looks adorable in that polka-dot dress. Oh, and Tina is also there. Wearing a plaid coat?

Doesn’t matter, because the spotlight was shining on Mercedes, who belted out a Mariah Christmas tune while wearing a gorgeous purple dress.

Stunning. This may be the best she’s ever looked. She also expressed her holiday spirit through pops of red and sparkly accessories.

 

Another red dress on Rachel! Her selfish holiday wish list might have been ugly, but her wardrobe sure isn’t.

Check out how cute she looks in this sweater:

I think I liked this polka dot number even more, especially with the adorable hat.

And the blue dress she wore to perform with Blaine? So sophisticated.

Blaine looks incredibly adorable in that suit and sweater.

I think Rachel really outdid herself with the dress she wore to sing “River” though.

I’m green with envy over that green dress. (Bad joke, I know).

Now, onto the Christmas television special. Artie was directing, and he did an…interesting job. Here’s a look at the opening credits:

Kurt and Blaine look the best, of course. And they got to host the show! It was all done in black and white like a Judy Garland Christmas special.

I loved the retro vibe they went for here, and the wink-wink-nudge-nudge sense of humor they used to approach the special.

While most of New Directions were filming the TV show, Sam and Quinn made good on their promise to Sue to visit the soup kitchen. Quinn manages to make an apron look cute with her fuzzy sweater.

They weren’t alone for long, though. After learning a lesson about Christmas spirit from “Itchy the Elf” (again, poor Rory) the whole gang headed over the soup kitchen…but not until after the plug had been pulled on the special, so I guess it wasn’t THAT selfless. Anyway, I’ll forgive them just because they look so cute. I mean, Puck in this hat?

Only Noah Puckerman could pull that off.

Will and Emma looked like they stepped right out of a bad Saturday Night Live skit, but at least Emma’s shirt is pretty.

Everyone got together to sing “Let Them Know It’s Christmastime”, because I know when I’m interacting with homeless people I like to sing songs that ask them to feed the world.

I love Rachel’s patterned coat, and the fact that Finn is wearing something other than a hoodie in a bland color. (Take note, Sam.) Kurt and Blaine look adorable as always, and even Tina has impressed me with her hot pink coat! It’s a Christmas miracle!

After learning an important lesson about the true meaning of Christmas (HANUKKAH?), Rachel realized she’d been really greedy and selfish. She and Finn returned their Christmas gifts and donated the money to the charity Sam and Rory were collecting for.

Rory finally looks good! And Sam looks…OK! Hey, at least it looks like he might be wearing a festive sweater under that jacket. Probably an early Christmas gift from Artie. Blah blah blah, it’s better to give than to receive, etc…can we please talk about how great Rachel looks instead?

I am in love with that coat. The flirty skirt? The bows? Her hat? It was cute enough to make me forget how horrible she was throughout the whole episode.

Well y’all, if nothing else this episode of Glee certainly inspired me to break out my own festive outfits. Happy Holidays!