Props: Switching It Up Before Nationals

I don't understand why this episode is called "Props." They talk about props like ONCE at the beginning and the rest of it is about other stuff. Whatever. So Tina Cohen-Chang finally stands up and says "NO" to swaying in the background. When everyone jumps on her about being selfish, she calls them out on ignoring her for three years and leaves. Rachel even tries to bring her back with a bribe but not even a cool $50 bill can soothe the injury of Rachel tyrade of self-absorption. When Tina hits her head after falling in the fountain at the mall, she dreams that EVERYONE HAS SWITCHED PLACES and it's all disturbingly fabulous.

When she finally comes to, everyone is back to normal but Tina has a "new perspective" on Rachel's "burden" of being the group star. Sue tries to talk Kurt into dressing in drag for Nationals -- like Unique in Vocal Adrenaline -- but Kurt puts his foot down and says that being gay doesn't necessarily mean he wants to dress like a woman. Bieste finally leaves Cooter -- and stops Puck from making a huge mistake in a fistfight after school with that Dumb Hockey Guy. Now everyone is on their way to Nationals in Chicago (WHAT UP, CHI TOWN!!!) and everyone is ready to go for the gold... we hope...WAIT. Maybe it's called "Props" because it's ALSO about showing appreciation for others and giving credit where it's due. Like, props to Tina for standing up for herself and props to Bieste for leaving Cooter. OHHHH. #AfterSchoolSpecial

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
"I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz

...wait, this is a JASON MRAZ song!??! Holy cats, I thought this was gonna be another Carrie Underwood or Miley Cyrus thing... it was just depressing. Rachel was singing to her own reflection, and the lyrics were about looking into her own eyes. Seriously? Rachel. Seriously? The only marginally redeeming part of this sequence was the Anthropologie dress with little bees on it. I love that dress.

More Kate Spade...

Brittany Bon Mots:

Mercedes as Brittany: "Rachel, after your solo I have to bail Lord Tubbington out of jail. He tried to sell my iPhone for drugs."

Brittany as Britanny: "I'm not totally gay, but I think that trees are born like actual babies, so kicking me out would be kinda mean."

How Sue Sees It:
"We have but one choice left to us. It's time to fight fire with the flaming flames of additional flamey gay fire."

Track Suit Sightings: 7 (one of them was Will as Sue, the rest were all Sue as Sue)

Outfit(s) of the Week:
I gotta say. Having Tina hit her head and then see everyone as switched Freaky Friday-style was AMAZING. And great fun. Therefore, I give you all of the switcheroos.

Artie as Santana!

Santana as Artie!

Tina as Rachel.

Rachel as Tina! TINA AS RACHEL! THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

Mercedes as Brittany, Artie as Santana, Sugar as Quinn and Mike as Teen Jesus.

THIS IS PRICELESS. Puck as Blaine and Finn as Kurt. I can't... get over... It's so... I just...

NEXT STOP: Nationals!!!!

Heart - Part 1 of 1 - Most Fav Holiday Eva!

Secret admirers, reverse psychology, broken hearts and a new voice. Ah who doesn't love Valentine's Day? It's Sugar's most fav holiday eva, so daddy dearest throws her a party for her and all her friends. The no-single-people-allowed rule made Artie and Rory fight for Sugar's heart, and with a devious story worthy of Blair Waldorf, Rory won the right to escort Sugar. Someone's none too happy about Santana and Brittany's relationship and has filed a complaint against their public displays of affection. Big bully Karofsky showed he is capable of love when he dressed as a gorilla and surprised Kurt. Rachel and Finn finally announced their engagement and Quinn and Kurt - the only two reasonable gleeks - refused to be a part of their big day. And Blaine got to wear a really cool eye patch. And that's what you missed on Glee!

I don't know what's more sad. The sorry state of all their wardrobes, or the fact that Sugar is now becoming my favorite character. She was on her game this week and her quirkiness most definitely rivals Britt's, but unfortunately her daddy's millions (or maybe billions, if he can buy Ireland) are not going towards enhancing her closet. Girlfran's got something going on over there with the over-sized bow and heart shaped glasses and whatever the heck that thing is hanging from her neck. No wonder why Artie started to fall for her, he's finally found someone who dresses as ooglay as he does!

Oh wait, he already dated Tina and there is no way in hell that anyone dresses worse than Tina. Case in point above. White sailor girl dress with puffy shoulders: would be cute on one of my dolls collecting dust up in my attic. Purple knee highs: so wrong for this outfit. So wrong for any outfit. White (yes, I said white) lace up boots: Heelllll NO babe. We don't wear white after Labor Day, and we don't ever wear what looks like patent leather white lace up army boots after ever.

As for Quinn, I actually like her navy blue dress with white shrug. The red bows are a cute little touch for Valentine's Day, but she looks a little too much like a 1950s housewife.

So we finally got to meet Rachel's dads! I will admit, I expected a little more oomph out of them, but I do love Jeff Goldblum. And I absolutely love that he wore a purple velour suit. He looked very dapper. As did Rachel's other dad in his twill vest and jeans.

I was pleasantly surprised with Rachel's wardrobe this week. Yes, this dress does remind me a little of Carol Brady, but I'm really digging the material, pattern and fit. It doesn't exactly flatter her body, but the super lose fit doesn't maker her look large either, which is a win in my book.

I was torn between the dress above or this one as being my favorite, but I think this one takes the gold.

The plunging v-neck looks awesome on Rachel's petite frame, and the solid blue on top and polka dot pattern on bottom is an adorable combo. And two things give it a great shape: the thin red belt (to adds waist definition), and pleating on the dress (to give a fun overall shape). Too bad Rachel always has to be standing next to this dud. I really fear for what their closet will look like once they get married, and not because of the tiny closet space in NYC apartments either.

Seriously, how many great pieces of outerwear does Rachel own? It really baffles me, since no one at McKinley ever dresses like there's a change in weather. But I'll take it since this red pea coat is beyond devine. She looks like a little Samantha American Girl doll, but not in a bad way. Is that possible? I guess it is.

OK, but Rachel's outfit below was way too heart-attack-tastic for me. I think she's falling into the housewife routine way too quickly.

Well you know, if normal housewives pranced around a grand piano holding hands and singing songs. But I do absolutely love Dad Goldblum's fuchsia sweater paired with his blue slacks. I'm not too keen on Professor Dad's outfit, but his jacket is pretty fun. Fun enough that I'd like to wear it.

Dear Rachel, take off your pants pronto and you'd be one sexy mamasita.

Aaaand another gorgeous red jacket. The over-sized collar and pewter colored round buttons make this look much more sophisticated and a little less Little Red Riding Hood.

Now, let's talk about our girl Sugar and her choices this week. Here's a closer look at the thing that died a-top of Sugar's head.

Sugar, honey, Blair Waldorf is the only one who can pull off wearing headbands with bows the size of Africa. And Serena is the only one who can wear ties and make them look cool. Please try to develop your own sense of style instead of stealing it from our favorite Upper East Siders. Thanks.

Mannnn I want to dance around in a shower of confetti! Even if I have to pay someone to do it for me!

Well hello, Mad Hatter!

And did you go snooping in your grandma's old jewelry box for that necklace? What is that? A bunch of pearls crocheted together? It looks like a pearl bulletin board with all those weird doodads stuck on. Ohmygod it's so hideous. Let's review. Pearls = good. Big pearls = great. A bunch of pearls strung together resembling a suit of armor = priceless, as in there is no price anyone in their right mind would ever pay for that piece of awfulness.

Now, as ridiculous as this next outfit is, Sugar's confident enough to pull off a tiara and if I could wear a tiara in my everyday life I totes would, so I can't knock her too much. And I actually think I would like her dress if I could see the whole thing. I'm just going to pretend like I never saw the ridiculous magenta shrug.

Speaking of rdiculous, Tina, was it really necessary to wear those black and white striped referee socks?

No, it wasn't. And Rory, I know you're not from this country, but here in America we do not roll up our pants as such. And Quinn, are you going square dancing later?

Ok, enough questioning. Mercedes is stunning in this red floor length gown belting out one of the greatest love songs of all time. I feel like in light of recent events, there is nothing I can say here but kudos on a job well done.

I never thought I would find myself saying this, but Mike Chang, you were my... wait for it... best dressed Gleekster of the week. His throw back to the newsies couldn't have come at a better time since the show is coming to broadway next month! (Yes, I already have my tickets!) Mike looked so awesome in this ensemble and he sang so well - I was so proud of how far he's come! Now, if he could only do something about that thing hanging off his arm...

I'm sorry, did I hit my head, pass out and wake up in 1890? Those are the epitome of antique shoes. And I can tell ya that they most likely were not stylish back then either. And what is with the bib on the front of your dress? Tina, get with the times!

Freakin' A, I don't even know which is worse. The hideous white boots worn in the wrong era, or these ridiculous grey and yellow lace ups with bumble bee outfit. Sugar and Tina are fo sho honorary members of the Mad Hatters tea party.

Mike Chang, I really feel like I should hate this outfit but you know what? I really don't! I'm kind of digging the neon yellow pants and bright blue cardigan. Everyone else is just blah, even Kurt. And it takes a lot for him to be blah.

I think Brittany and Sugar need to have a fashion-off. This Chiquita banana thing Britt's got going on upstairs is just plain dumb. I wore headpieces like that for my dance competitions and even at the age of eight knew they weren't meant to be worn by anyone who wasn't carrying a basket of fruit on their head.

Quinn's V-day dress is pretty. I like the fit on her and I can handle the many stripes and colors for about five minutes. Sam looks super spiffy in his black blazer, it's a nice change from his Letterman's jacket that he refuses to take off.

But I just felt so bad for Sam this week, and every song he sang he absolutely killed it. He's so cute that he can wear whatever he'd like. No snark there.

Again with this wearing white business. Quinn, it's apparently not summer so your white summer dress is wildly inappropriate. But your cerulean trench isn't half bad. I don't love it, but it'll do. Mercedes, I don't even know what you're wearing. Is that a shirt knotted at your waist? Or an insanely short cape? Whatever it is I don't like it. Your red pants however, A+.

Arg, more season inappropriateness! I just don't understand why it is so hard for the wardrobe department to put these girls in outfits that fit the season. Quinn looks like she's ready for Easter Sunday. Rachel looks like she's about to go sailing. And Sugar, well, Sugar looks like a Spice Girl, so I guess it doesn't really matter what season it is for her since nothing they wore ever made sense anyway. And I'm pretty sure there's a mouse in Disney World running around with no shoes on.

Brittany's under the sea dress actually is kind of cute. It's not creepy, weird like some of the other animal faced sweaters she's worn. And Mercedes looks smokin' in her pink dress.

Only Kurt could wear a metallic maroon suit and not make it look like he stepped off the set of Grease!

And only Blaine could wear an eye patch, red bow-tie and top-hat and make it look cool and not circus clown creepy.

And together, they make the cutest couple ever! Gah I just LOVE Kurt's outfit, LOVE IT! These two aren't just the model couple, they are models. Work it boys!

The Spanish Teacher - Part 2 of 2 - ¡Que Mala Suerte!

This week saw the continuation of the Sue Sylvester Track Suit Infinity Loop with the following eye-popping gems:

I will say in Sue's defense that her makeup is considerably softer than what it used to be, and I appreciate the little things.

Bronze-medal Olympian swim coach Roz Washington has it out for Sue. She's even wearing loud windbreakers to compete with Sue's track suits, and she insists on wearing her bronze medal with every outfit, all the time. (Although, I pause to reflect: if I had won an Olympic Medal, would I not be considering wearing it all the time as well???)

Mike Chang, I am concerned about this outfit. The cardigan has white sleeves attached to a green body, and there are elbow patches that are neither color. Then, you have a white henley underneath, which makes the cardigan look like a strange vest instead of a cardigan, and the color you chose for your trousers looks more like the Crayola hue "goldenrod" than casual khaki slacks. I am concerned about this overall because the look is confusing. (And where is Tina Cohen-Chang?? I didn't see her the entire episode.)

What....is happening here?

Hmm. What's this? Artie, your sweater... it's unusual but most of your wardrobe usually is.

 

Oh no. What's that? I though they might be weird phone booths or something, but no. It clearly says "HOTEL." Artie, WHERE did that come from??? I'm pretty sure you just won some kind of insane sweater award, because I am totally flummoxed as to what to say about that pattern.

Mr. Schue, how many times have I had to tell you? Corduroy jackets do not go with black ties. How unfortunate. (It's mystifying to me how in some episodes, Will is totally on top of his game and knows all the words to the hip new songs, but in this instance, he doesn't know any of the words and he's totally overshadowed by Señor Hottie Martinez.)

This is a little better, but still boring. A gray shirt with a black tie and black sweater? While Emma prances around looking like a fairy tale come true? Step up, Will.

Heavens to Murgatroyd. What.

Finn. I know Sam made you all wear bolo ties (and weird shoes) for the number, but it's still a bolo tie and it's awful. Wait. WAIT. Finn, are you wearing a SHORT-SLEEVED button down shirt with a bolo tie? Oh. Oh, Finn... no.

Sam, your new haircut and your adorable passion for Mercedes is almost enough to make me ignore the bolo ties. But not quite enough.

Mmmhmm. This is much better. Casual and brooding.

Normally this kind of blandness would be unacceptable, but considering he's wearing hand-me-downs and donations while his family is still in poverty, I'll give him a pass on this one.

Now go get Mercedes back, you lucky dog you!

Michael - Part 2 of 2 - Just a Little Bit of Me

The rest of the New Directions only seemed to pop in here and there for bits of Michael week. Or at least stayed just long enough for a solo or duet.  Otherwise, their appearances were as unremarkable as their outfits.  Case in point:

Boring Irish fellow.

Sad looking Puck:

On the other hand, everyone is A++ for the big group MJ number.  Brittany’s costume looks so amazing on her, Finn in anything glittery is definitely noteworthy, Rory’s rocking the military look as well as Santana, and Mike’s Thriller get-up is spot on. 

Not so spot on?  Tucking your shirt and cardigan into your pants.

I suppose, though, it could be overlooked given that he’s about to don some spikes and nail a duet with Mike.  Such a fun change from the usual Artie! 

That’s also about as interesting as it gets for Mike; though, I do love that he took a cue from Blaine and pulled on a pair of colored trousers.  The track jacket pairs excellently with the red.  And I was beyond thrilled to see Tina in this navy and green dress. 

But not as thrilled as when I realized she had ditched the hideous Pilgrim collar for the cowl neck. 

I am also super-loving her foray into the land of preppy.  The suspenders are a great, and often overlooked, accessory. 

Be still my heart. 

Now, this is not the best dress ever, but it is far and away a world of improvement.  We can ditch the orange, but the button detailing along the front is a nice little touch.   And while Mike is about to yawn at his outfit, Quinn is super chic in her bright yellow jacket and gray and white skirt.  I’m not wild about this full skirt situation over here, but the jacket makes up for it. 

She must be taking lessons in great jackets from Rachel, because she stole Blaine’s blanket and fashioned herself a great red and black blazer. 

And can we talk about her hair? That impulse decision to chop off her locks at the end of Season 2 was a good one.

White and navy always look great together.  So do dresses and blazers.  Put them all together and add some lace detailing?  Lovely.  Classic, chic, sophisticated and mature without looking dated.  

The clear winner of the night was her floor-length black sequined gown.  Obviously, this picture doesn’t do it justice, but while everyone — yes, myself included — was oohing, ahhing, and salivating over this long sparkly number, I was also over the moon with her hair and make-up.  To.  Die.  For. 

This outfit, with the bow detailing at the collar, is pretty nice and it somehow works with the plaid, but let’s face it, nothing can really follow that black dress.

Not to be outdone in the sparkle department, Mercedes ups the ante with metallic lettering, bright colors, animal prints…

…and sequins, of course.

At least it matches the sparkling personality that caught Sam’s attention in the first place.   In other circumstances—like, say, if we were somewhere in southern California—I’d be onboard with this light wash jean jacket.  I appreciate his effort to move away from the plaid, but I’m going to go ahead and say he should get rid of it. Just a little bit.  

 

And despite his few and far between appearances, Mr. Schue managed to make the most of it with four outfit changes.  Only one vest this week, my vest-defiant friends. 

He switches it up from the blazer and the boring shirt with a forest green cardigan trimmed with light blue which is a great piece.  But matched with a red tie and a swill-colored dress shirt and I’m singing a different tune.

And speaking of different tunes, while the New Directions definitely hit it out of the park with their renditions of Michael's songs (and I know it was awesome because I woke up the next morning with “Gotta Be Startin’ Somethin’” in my head) I can’t wait to see how they do when Ricky Martin takes their tunes south of the border.  I’m sure it’ll be nothing short of caliente! 

Yes/No - Part 1 of 1 - We found love and fashion

Here’s what you missed on Glee: Sam and Mercedes are still thinking about their summer lovin', but she's got that football player whose name I can’t remember. Becky sets her sights on Artie, who learns a valuable lesson about his friends being jerks when they try to talk him out of dating her. It doesn't work out, but that's okay, Becky's got Helen Mirren for a voiceover and Sue to eat ice cream and watch Lifetime movies with. Emma wants to get married and Will is thisclose to being persuaded by her horrible parents not to propose. In the end, he changes his mind and gets New Directions to do most of the work on his proposal. Finn's considering the army and proposing to Rachel while they're still in high school. Because legally binding marriage vows are always the way to deal with your teenage insecurities about the future (or lack thereof). And that’s what you missed on Glee!

Welcome back, Gleeks! It’s been awhile since the Christmas episode was Very Special and removed us from the narrative arc of the season, which is just another ride to sectionals. Despite the drama, it appears that Mercedes is back and in her element, as her first leopard-print coat and “Foxy” (as in Brown?) necklace shows us that this girl is ready to spill the beans in a Glee version of I Know Who You Did Last Summer.

Hey, isn’t it snowing in Ohio in mid-January? Why is no one bundled up? Because it can’t work with the Grease intro, that’s why. Honestly, why do we still care about Grease? Will we feel the same way about Clueless in ten years’ time or Bring It On by 2015? Glee producers: please stop with the obvious, safe music selections and perhaps swap this with something more imaginative, like say Bjork’s “Violently Happy”. I mean, both songs convey essentially the same meaning, right? Right? (Or not).

Clearly, New Directions is intent on recreating all the magic of that movie because they even did an “homage” to the original production number in the play. I mean, seriously, is this musical – and I admit that I HATE GREASE AND I WANT IT TO DIE – just going to follow me to the grave??? Why don’t more high schools do something simpler for their annual school musical, like Wagner’s Ring Cycle? (Note to producers: please don’t take this idea and turn it into reality unless you’re going to cut YKYLF a minimum 25% finder’s fee for my brilliant idea.)

I normally don’t really give a fat turd about Sue’s minions, but Becky's inner monologue is delivered by HELEN MIRREN. For this, I may forgive Glee for inflicting Grease on us. And for never giving Becky an outfit to wear other than the Cheerio uniform.

So yeah, Becky’s on the prowl and decides to make Arty her soul mate. Or something.

PS: Bonus points to Becky for co-opting the gay term “rice queen” and applying it to herself to dismiss Mike Chang as a potential mate, and extra points for having Dame Helen deliver it like a proud grandma who’s just picked up her first issue of Out magazine.

I absolutely love the Irish potato-faced lad’s outfit. Every detail works and is actually part of my own wardrobe, which means that unlike most of the outfits on this show, it’s something that real people might actually wear.

The vest that’s ran away from his dad’s late-80s wedding suit (thoughtfully unbuttoned at the bottom), the newsboy cap, the rolled-up sleeves, the bitchin’ belt buckle and dark jeans, the watch with a strap so big it might as well be a bitchin’ leather cuff all its own … it’s workin’. Midwestern boys, this is the fashion statement you want to emulate to be cool but not make everyone think you’re playing on Blaine and Kurt’s team.

Switching gears and setting up for the rest of the episode, Emma schools us all on mixing patterns: take one bold print like the leafy top and pair it with a skirt colour that is just a shade away from one of the base colours, in a less obvious print. Top it all off with a bit bow and it’s adorable. Plus, the Judy Jetson-style lunch box is sending me over the edge.

Speaking of matching prints, I wonder if Sugar’s outfit was once sold together with Mercedes’s coat? They appear to have come from the same retired stripper’s closet.

Behold, Sam, burner of many lady parts and gay parts. My only complaint is that on American TV, all of the men's underwear and swimwear are board shorts, while in Europe they actually dress like they’re competitive, i.e. in Speedos.

It’s like extra-large displays of text messages on cell phones. IT ONLY HAPPENS ON TV. I’d like to know if there’s some morality clause stating men are not allowed in any body-hugging undies or swimwear?

Thankfully, we have the arrival of a fierce new synchro-swim coach, Roz Washington, who I will swimfan love forever because of her matching outfit and SHE’S WEARING AN OLYMPIC MEDAL AS AN ACCESSORY.  I am still looking to find the perfect chocolate coin to add to my souvenir lanyards and parade around with my memorabilia in town every time I take tourists to visit the Olympic flame in Vancouver.

While Sam is mocked for being in synchro and in glee club, no one makes any comments about the black-red-matching-tie-to-T-shirt combo the men are sporting here. In the most recent Project Runway: All Stars, Badgely and Mischka savaged a contestant from combining the two colours, and while I didn’t agree with them at the time, I agree with them now. The ties look like a lazy accessory in an attempt to look metro, but the execution is extremely poor. 

Plus, why are they now karaoke-ing to “Moves Like Jagger”? Every time I hear that song I think of Patsy on Absolutely Fabulous (which has just returned, yeay!!!!) referring to Mick as “an old scrotum with a pair of lips attached”.

In the lead-up to the grand proposal, I note that Rachel has been largely absent in the first third of the episode. Thankfully, they have her return with a clipboard and a predictably “Rachel” outfit. She has yet to look into pants. I am wondering if an allergy to trousers is what binds Lea Michele and Lady Gaga together.

The ladies' stripped-down version of “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face”, was quite possibly the best Roberta Flack cover since the Fugees and the awesome butchery of “Killing Me Softly” in About a Boy.

Retreating briefly to the ladies’ room to deal with an emotional Mercedes, coming to terms with her old feelings for trouty-lipped Sam, they are tastefully if unremarkably dressed, except for Rachel, who wears the most amazing bodice atop her dress. It’s cut the right way, it doesn’t look try-hard, and it’s still elegant. Best dressed of the week so far, clearly.

Emma’s hateful parents, meanwhile, make some remark about being “allowed Christmas” by “Comrade Obama”. And to prove their loyalty to Christmas, they match their ginger hair with green sweaters.

The fact that it’s now mid-January and even the Russians are done with their two-weeks-later Orthodox Christmas and just shows you how backwards and hateful the Pillsburys are. (And if they ever meet me, a Commie-loving homo, I can only say to them: ах ты сучка. Look it up.)

Plot point question: why would Will ask Emma’s parents for her hand in marriage? Didn’t we establish that they are ginger supremacists and are actually racists? Why would he want THEIR approval? Is this making sense?

Oh no I won’t say that, because look at the gorgeous outfit on Emma. She’s really hitting it out of the park on a regular basis. Having a touch of print to the gloves is a thoughtful surprise and doesn’t detract away from the sweater and blouse.

Even though I’ve now concluded that the entire wardrobe of The Help was directly inspired by Emma, I must say that the character is comparable to a lovely flower, specifically, a beautiful flower that grew out of a pot of dirt and fertilized within an inch of its life. (“ах ты сучка” now applies to me.)

Remember when I mentioned how Rory dresses with style that isn’t over-the-top? Case in point: Kurt, sporting what appears to be part of a fireplace tongs deconstructed and reconstructed as support for his tie. I’m not sure what I’m looking at: is it a chain like the one Nicole Kidman wore in sexual slavery in Dogville? Are they wing-tipped shoes that Kurt hasn’t finished bronzing yet? Oh I give up. Damn you, Kurt, your accessory has confounded me! Helen Mirren, where are you????

Even Arty’s confounded. Look at him. And the man’s wearing a Cosby sweater.

The stress is getting to Emma, too. I mean, just look at her in her matching outfit with sweater set and Day-Glo gloves that make her look like a perpetual kindergarten teacher.

Ryan Murphy mentioned there would be no Glee spin-off, but what I’d like to now see is a time-travel version where Emma gets sucked into 1960s Mississippi, in a dream crossover between Glee and The Help. If anyone from Fox is reading this, I have now given you two grand ideas on how to improve Glee. Please look into them and call me so we can discuss royalties.

We now come to the epic proposal involving a big, literally splashy production number. But before the big finish, I bring you this shot of singular proof that Glee has jumped the shark: Sue Sylvester is being lovely and decent and taking part in the production number to bring Will and Emma together. What’s next?

Santana the wonder lesbian is sporting an old-fashioned swimsuit. That's what's next. We live in dark times. Although, she does look amazing. Plus, with an Evita pose like that, it’s no wonder she got to sing the Rita Moreno part in the amazing production of West Side Story.

Just in case you were wondering if Glee remains the gayest show on TV, look no further than Mr. Schue dressed as Tommy Tune. Plus, the whole venture is a recreation of Ethel Merman’s outlandish 1930s musical numbers.

It’s certainly big and creative, but the musical selection has sucked to date. Quite frankly, if someone proposes to me to a Rihanna song, I’d sooner say yes if he sang “Rude Boy” rather than to “We Found Love”.

And finally we have Finn’s shocking proposal to Rachel. He states that he’s a big fat zero, he claims that his life is going nowhere, and he knows Rachel will turn out pretty spectacularly. If I were Rachel, I’d say “thanks, but you just told me how you’re going to suck, so if I’m ever going to get me a Tony Award and a record deal, I don’t want you hanging around while I go around the world being totally awesome”.

Plus, Rachel’s dress is a bit blah. You know she'd want to be proposed to while wearing a better dress. And a musical number to go with said proposal. Girlfriend likes to plan for these things. You don't just surprise her with a ring after class.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am off to find Helen Mirren and ask her if she'd like to do voiceovers in my head on occasion.