Nationals: A Uniquely Good Time!

So here's what you missed on Glee: The kids head to Chicago for Nationals to take on Unique and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline. Mercedes comes down with food poisoning and almost misses the performance. Sue has officially become a gleekster. Rachel royally impresses Carmen Tibideaux and shuts down douchey Jesse. New Directions totes kicked Vocal Adrenaline's arses (even with a star worthy performance by Unique). And oh yea, EMMA AND SCHUE FINALLY DID IT!!!

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
Not only did Rachel have the most kick ass solo this week, she also had the most kick ass hair. Those curls are beyond gorge, and they definitely gave her some sass. Gurl made Celine beyond proud with her rendition of It's All Coming Back To Me Now. It doesn't matter that she looks like Minnie Mouse because Rachel sent chills running through my spine as I reminisced about my young, broody adolescent days where I thought all life's problems could be solved by a Celine Dion song.

How Sue Sees It:
"With Monique down for the count, we are entering the Hunger Games of show choir competition."

Track Suit Sightings: 4

PS: Sue also won the best accessory award with her miniature trophy medal

Brittany Bon Mots: "And plus, my blanket and my pillow fell in the pool. Disaster."

Song of the Week:
It was actually a difficult choice for me this week. Rachel's Celine solo gets my first vote, but since she can't have everything I'm going with Queen's "We Are the Champions" sung for Schue's big Teacher of the Year award! Meat Loaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" was a very close second.

Best Outfit of the Week: No surprise here. It's our little Emma who's not so little anymore, wink, wink. I absolutely love this black and white flowered dress accented with skinny red belt and red t-strapped shoes.

More White House...

She actually reminds me a bit of Bree Van de Kamp... is Emma already turning into a Real Housewife of Lima?

Worst Outfit of the Week:
Kurt, you know how much I adore you and how much I want to be best friends with you. But there is no way I can condone this outfit, I don't even know what the heck is going on with that thing 'round yo neck. You sure as heck ain't working what yo mama gave ya. And if you would just let me be your BFF4EVA&EVA, you would never have to find yourself in public with a whoa blinged out dog collar, that looks like one Michael Jackson's shoulder pads.

Absolute Cutest Couple on the Face of the Planet:

Seriously, what am I going to do next year without Kurt? Blaine better not find someone new because I won't be able to handle that. And Blaine will never find someone who can look totally adorbs with an Elvis 'do.

Celebrity Judge Who We'd Wish Stayed in Jail:

LiLo you were so gosh darn cute in Parent Trap, now instead of being robbed out of awards, you're stealing jewelry because apparently you can't afford to pay. While your dress could have potential, the super shiny, cheap looking material is blinding my eyes way too much to give it a chance.

Sassiest Celeb Judge who Everyone Secretly Wishes Would Blog About Them:

(Especially us here at YKYLF - but only good things of course)

So just in case Perez ever does read our site, I won't say anything bad about his Pepto Bismol blazer or Pee-Wee Herman-esq pants and socks combo.

Choir Member with the Most Kick Ass At-ti-tude:

Work it sistah/brutha! That dress totes hugs in all the right places! You go gurl/bro!

And the Winner is....

Psych! New Directions won obvi, but Vocal Adrenaline takes the cake in the fashion department. I like sparkles.

Most Perplexing Question of the Night: Why does New Directions always get to sing 3 songs when everyone else only gets to sing 2?

Props: Switching It Up Before Nationals

I don't understand why this episode is called "Props." They talk about props like ONCE at the beginning and the rest of it is about other stuff. Whatever. So Tina Cohen-Chang finally stands up and says "NO" to swaying in the background. When everyone jumps on her about being selfish, she calls them out on ignoring her for three years and leaves. Rachel even tries to bring her back with a bribe but not even a cool $50 bill can soothe the injury of Rachel tyrade of self-absorption. When Tina hits her head after falling in the fountain at the mall, she dreams that EVERYONE HAS SWITCHED PLACES and it's all disturbingly fabulous.

When she finally comes to, everyone is back to normal but Tina has a "new perspective" on Rachel's "burden" of being the group star. Sue tries to talk Kurt into dressing in drag for Nationals -- like Unique in Vocal Adrenaline -- but Kurt puts his foot down and says that being gay doesn't necessarily mean he wants to dress like a woman. Bieste finally leaves Cooter -- and stops Puck from making a huge mistake in a fistfight after school with that Dumb Hockey Guy. Now everyone is on their way to Nationals in Chicago (WHAT UP, CHI TOWN!!!) and everyone is ready to go for the gold... we hope...WAIT. Maybe it's called "Props" because it's ALSO about showing appreciation for others and giving credit where it's due. Like, props to Tina for standing up for herself and props to Bieste for leaving Cooter. OHHHH. #AfterSchoolSpecial

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
"I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz

...wait, this is a JASON MRAZ song!??! Holy cats, I thought this was gonna be another Carrie Underwood or Miley Cyrus thing... it was just depressing. Rachel was singing to her own reflection, and the lyrics were about looking into her own eyes. Seriously? Rachel. Seriously? The only marginally redeeming part of this sequence was the Anthropologie dress with little bees on it. I love that dress.

More Kate Spade...

Brittany Bon Mots:

Mercedes as Brittany: "Rachel, after your solo I have to bail Lord Tubbington out of jail. He tried to sell my iPhone for drugs."

Brittany as Britanny: "I'm not totally gay, but I think that trees are born like actual babies, so kicking me out would be kinda mean."

How Sue Sees It:
"We have but one choice left to us. It's time to fight fire with the flaming flames of additional flamey gay fire."

Track Suit Sightings: 7 (one of them was Will as Sue, the rest were all Sue as Sue)

Outfit(s) of the Week:
I gotta say. Having Tina hit her head and then see everyone as switched Freaky Friday-style was AMAZING. And great fun. Therefore, I give you all of the switcheroos.

Artie as Santana!

Santana as Artie!

Tina as Rachel.

Rachel as Tina! TINA AS RACHEL! THE TWILIGHT ZONE!

Mercedes as Brittany, Artie as Santana, Sugar as Quinn and Mike as Teen Jesus.

THIS IS PRICELESS. Puck as Blaine and Finn as Kurt. I can't... get over... It's so... I just...

NEXT STOP: Nationals!!!!

Prom-asaurus: Where You’ll Have a Yabba Dabba Do Time

So here’s what you missed on Glee: Brittany has decreed that everyone shall have a rawr-ing good time at this year’s dinosaur-themed prom. The New Directions are slated to perform at the dance because why outsource the evening’s musical entertainment when you can get it in-house? Everyone’s running for prom queen or king and in a Fiance-of-the-Year move, Finn runs for prom king with his ex-girlfriend instead of being there for his distraught fiancee. The only one not running for high school royalty is Becky, even though she wants it super badly. And her alter-ego is British? Meh, fair enough; so is mine. In the midst of another angsty breakdown, Rachel co-hosts an anti-prom party with Blaine and Kurt that fails miserably. In the end, Becky is crowned the anti-prom queen, Rachel is crowned the legit-prom queen, and surprise! Looks like all the PT with Jar Jar Binks paid off because Quinn can now walk(ish).

Rachel’s Melodramatic Solo of the Week: You know she had to make some sort of dramatic statement, so when Kurt and Blaine crashed what would have/could have been her solo of the week, her melodramatic moment was relegated to one of the fashion variety at the Red Rooster Express.

More Majorica...

How Sue Sees It:
“Advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions.  Haven’t you seen Mad Men?” 

Track Suit Sightings: 3

Song of the Week:
It was slim pickins this week, but it might have to go to “What Makes You Beautiful” because, let’s face it--who here can resist a good boy band?  

 Brittany Bon Mots:
“All hair gel has been banned from the prom.  I’m actually not joking.  Hair gel was not invented until 30 million years after the upper paleolithic stone age.  And frankly, I don’t like the way you look.”

Did someone speak too soon?

Best Outfits:
It’s prom, aka: the Oscars of high school.  And what have we learned after hours of E! Live from the Red Carpet or all that coverage from the Met Gala?  No one cares what the boys are wearing, or who they’re wearing, or if they’ve got a proper bow tie or went rogue with a skinny tie.  The only thing everyone cares about and wants to see is what the girls are wearing.  

Enjoy the obligatory picture of Blaine in all his perfectly attired and immaculately coiffed glory.  Just another day for Mr. Anderson.  

But back to the girls.

I love, love this color on Santana and love even more that she matched her lipstick to her dress.  The fit is glove-like and the combination of the sweetheart and one-shoulder necklines is on-trend.  I also really love that she sang a Selena Gomez song.  

You know what they say: "dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Quinn looks like your Quinn-tessential prom queen with her lilac gown and its flowing skirts. The ruching on her bodice is just enough to keep the dress from falling flat and the diamante straps and waistband add the perfect amount of sparkle so as not to clash with her tiara.  And talk about dressing for the job you want--who cares if you're in a wheelchair? Bring on the sparkly open-toe pumps!

More Badgley Mischka...

It’s obviously a bit unorthodox for a prom dress, but then again, it’s Brittany.  Quite honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she stayed in her Pebbles Flintstones get up.  I’m absolutely in love with the seafoam tulle skirt and and the white tuxedo top (complete with a bow tie!).  The color combination is so refreshing and the jaunty little top hat?  Do I even have to say how much I love that?   

It’s a rare occasion when Mercedes gets her bling right, but it looks like all those misses paid off because this one is a hit.  She looks like a pretty little starburst!  I’m not super digging the random strap zooming across her chest but the color looks great on her and I can’t imagine the last time I saw her with her hair up--she looks so elegant!

Okay, so I lied.  Kurt’s prom look was just as good and yes, I always care about what he wears.  I know some people might think he was a bit too cavalier with his formal wear, but let’s be serious.  It’s high school.  And you have to admit that his anti-prom deconstructed tux with the top hat is way fun.  Plus, he has a boutonniere--that’s about as fancy as it really needs to get. 

Not-So-Best Outfits:

Well, she had to bust out the pilgrim collar--for old time’s sake, you know?  I hope this is a last hurrah sort of situation but to be fair...at least the hideous collar is detachable via the hideous sheer cape.  

This one was definitely a Monet for me.  I liked the dress the instant I saw it, but I think it was the bright lime green that was attractive.  Everything else...too much of a throwback for Rachel, with the little tennis or baseball polka dots and the random green ribbon around the waist.  And sweet heavens, she brought back the white knee socks.  Where were the knee socks when she was prancing about in miniskirts in the middle of February?  And for Pete’s sake, she finished off the whole thing with some sort of ecru/beige/nude ballet flat situation.  But don’t worry, I’ve spared you all the pictures.

At least she had the sense to forgo all that nonsense before prom because I don’t know that Quinn and Santana would have enjoyed forfeiting the crown to someone resembling an overgrown second grader.  And well, if she did, they could have always consoled themselves over Puck’s spiked punch.  

Pilot - Part 1 of 3 - The Principals

Since Glee has started down a path of suckitude, we've decided to look back at the days when it ruled. You can expect retro recaps once every few weeks, on Mondays. Enjoy!  - Jen

So here's what you missed on Glee: former show choir member and current Spanish teacher Will Scheuster takes over McKinley High's glee club, a place where teenage dirtbags sing and dance and fall in love, kind of like the Island of Misfit Toys with a drum beat. Football coach Ken likes guidance counsellor Emma, who likes Will, who's married to the crazily mercenary Terri. Cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester just hates everyone. Slushies are thrown and Journey songs trashed. Let's roll on with the show...

Finn Hudson is a perpetually confused quarterback - is he happy, is he sad, is he a sportsman or a singer? He's basically Zac Efron in High School Musical, only less hot. Finn will always return to one of three norms: a polo shirt, a hoodie...

Or a sweatshirt with stripes (he wears another red one this episode)...

He occasionally appears naked, rocking out in the shower while Will watches, pondering his 'talent'. It's not creepy, I swear - although Will forces Finn to come out of the musical closet by planting weed in his locker, which is creepy. Also illegal.

Hungry for fame and hungry for Finn is Miss Rachel Berry, queen bee of the old Glee club and wannabe Barbara Streisand. She wears an awful lot of button downs and some very pretty headbands (observe the Blair Waldorf like beauty atop her head in the second image).

Rachel, being an everywoman social outcast, often gets a slushie thrown in her face. Thank you, Glee, for giving the bullies of America and beyond something creative to do.

Rachel also enjoys sweater vests, knee socks, and basically dressing like a conservative Harajuku girl. This bleachers outfit is typical Rachel: lovely contrasting colours in the vest and skirt.

But she's not all sweetness and spice, oh no. Rachel got the former Glee club director thrown out for touching little boys (not true, but getting there), and sometimes she makes bold fashion choices, like this gorgeous pleated green and black houndstooth skirt.

Other new Glee club members include Mercedes Jones (the Curvy One with the Pipes), whose fashion choices irk me. A fence printed t-shirt? Over another t-shirt? With a matching plaid hat?

Kurt Hummel (the Fabulous but Shrill One) makes statements with his clothing, and the one I'm getting from this ensemble is that he escaped from a prisoner of war camp.

He then stole a car and drove to Levi's.

Then bought girl's shoes.

Joining them is Tina Cohen-Chang (the Goth One), who kissed a girl and then raided her lock box to make jewellery. She's like Wednesday Addams crossed with a really angry Avril Lavigne.

Along with Artie Abrams (the One in the Chair with Light Up Wheels, how awesome is that?), they make up the New Directions! Let's get started on some group critique.

Kurt: I enjoy your outfit, and hate those white Michael Jackson gloves as much as you must.

Tina: sweetie, no empire lines for you - especially no Empire lines with an above the knee skirt. You have a waist, stop hiding it beneath a shroud.

Artie: who are you, my father? Add some colour!

Rachel: I've literally just come off Gossip Girl rotation, please don't make me scream at you for wearing white tights. Nobody's legs look good in white tights.

Mercedes: lose the sweatbands, you're not a Williams sister. Pink and red do not look good together at the best of times, and those combat trousers need to be burned. Right now.

This club is devoid of glee since they hate old timey show tunes. This is evidenced by their pallette of greys and blues - props to Rachel for her purple sweater - miserable expressions - also, that sweater makes Kurt look like a mime - and the fact that Mercedes is trying to make yellow 'happen' in her accessories.

It's not going to happen.

It's not even going to happen if Kurt wears it.

I loathe this outfit, not just because of the icky lemon/beige colour. Translucent vests should never be worn, because a) they show your bra, and b) when your male best friend steals them, they fail to hide the tail end of his tie. Why tuck it in that case?

Mercedes does have her moments of coordination, like a marroon shirt with a sparkly shirt underneath and a sparkly head scarf, also with marroon accents. Bad colour, good concept.

Finn spurs the club into action when Will is bullied into becoming an accountant by his wife, Terri, who wants a sun nook for their baby on some rubbish. He persuades them to destroy that old classic, Don't Stop Believin', because a guy on a lawnmower once sung it to him.

Ok, time for more critique:

Tina: please stop wearing pleated skirts with bare legs and same colour knee socks. In fact, stop wearing so much black, it washes you out.

Kurt: for the love of God, someone explain that sweater to me. What is it...why does it...cerulean is a lovely colour, but that cut makes the poor boy look lumpy and ladylike.

Mercedes: the waistcoat is divine, and I almost don't mind you matching your shoes and accessories to it. Camoflauge is a no, but military is a very good look for you.

Artie: WEAR SOME COLOUR.

In the end, these kooky kids bring it on home in their differently tailored red tops and jeans, promising good things to come. Why? Because all the best teeny boppers do it.

Dance With Somebody - The Whitney Tribute

EVERYONE is sad about Whitney Houston dying. Yes, it was two months ago, but still. Will keeps trying to push the wedding to next month instead of next Christmas, making Emma anxious. Turns out it's because he doesn't want the Glee kids to miss the wedding, and he's scared they won't come back for the ceremony if it's later in the year. That's real sad, Schue. Rachel and Santana are suddenly friends; they have a kickin' duet and Rachel gives Santana a senior picture to put in her locker. Teen Jesus (aka Joe) is falling for Quinn, and while she feels the same way, neither is sure that the other is interested. Typical. Sam and Mercedes are still not-quite-together apparently, because they constantly sit at opposite ends of the classroom. Blaine and Kurt hash out their problems with a POWERFUL Whitney-inspired solo, and then the truth comes out: Blaine feels that all Kurt cares about is NYADA and New York and leaving Lima behind, including Blaine. They basically make up, despite the fact that nobody's problems have been solved. Burt Hummel is also sad about Kurt leaving, and everyone is emotional (So Emotional) about the impending farewells.

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
Nonexistant! Hooray! Instead we were treated to -- wait for it -- an amazing, pumped up cover of "So Emotional" as a duet between Rachel and Santana, of all people! It was peppy and sassy and totally fun.

Okay, well that looks melodramatic but it isn't. They're actually belting their faces off. In a good way.

Brittany Bon Mots: "You're all cool dancers. And Quinn, you are still dancing in my dreams. Also you can fly and breathe fire."

Whoa. Whoa, Brittany. I know it's typical for you to say things in earnest without realizing how insulting they are, but whoa. Poor Q has enough on her plate right now. Also who doesn't Wanna Dance With Somebody? Because that song is INFECTIOUS.

How Sue Sees It:
There was no Sue this week -- doubtless she is awash with hormones and feelings and pregnancy side-effects the likes of which she was not quite ready for and had to call in sick to work. Or something Sue-equivalent of calling in sick to work. Doubling the workload, tripling rehearsals, and drinking lots of protein shakes?? I don't know.

Track Suit Sightings: ZERO.
The lack of neon Adidas and bitter quips was made up for by Emma's candy-sweet ensembles and pop art colors, which brings me to....

Outfit(s) of the Week:
1) Emma's bright solids and geometric necklaces! Ta-da!

  

2) Rachel, Mercedes, Kurt and Santana for their stunning formalwear at the beginning of the episode!

I mean, really.

No, really. Everyone should look this good on stage/at prom.

More Badgley Mischka...

3) Quinn, who busts out the Barbie hot pink... and works it with a lace pattern, a blazer AND breton stripes. Well played, Q.

Q, Barbie pink looks good on you no matter what your physical state!

Best Song:
THIS IS REALLY HARD because I love Whitney and I actually cried a little when I heard the news two months ago. I think it's a toss up between the LEGIT acapella "How Will I Know" that opened the episode -- a phenomenal opening number -- and Kurt's "I Have Nothing" because honestly Kurt Hummel is the only one who can hit them high notes y'all. Oh, wait, Blaine's "It's Not Right, But It's Okay"... dayummm. Basically, what I'm saying is... I shouldn't be allowed to recap this episode, I'm Whitney-biased.