I Kissed a Girl - Part 2 of 3 - Hot n' Cold

First, Cooter was way into Beiste.  Now, he’s totally going steady with Sue.  And before, Quinn had a thing for Puck.  Then, she didn’t.  But, now she does again.  Seriously, guys, pick already.  Polos or tracksuits?  Mohawk or no-hawk?

I’m completely Team Polo and while Beiste’s affinity for polo shirts continues to elude me, I can’t really blame her.  She’s a football coach so she can’t strut around in cute dresses a la Pilsbury, which is why I love that she accessorizes with little hoop earrings and rings (they’re probably championship rings, but whatever).  

 

Sue’s tracksuits were pretty standard…

 …but she definitely had the best accessory: her little black book, “Sue’s Booty Calls.”

Speaking of booty calls, I was a little surprised when Puck pulled a Pacey Witter and wound up canoodling Shelby.  I guess when you put his charming smirk in one of his hundreds of fitted black shirts and slap a guitar on him, it’s hard to stay away, but that disaster of a mohawk should’ve dissuaded her.  What’s going on?  Why is it leaning to one side?  I know it was Movember, but wrong “mo.”  

Shelby generally has a great sense of style and I love that she’s equipped for fall with her long-sleeved blouses and boots.  Except, the black v-neck sweater is on the less-remarkable side and the orange skirt is just not a flattering cut—the lone middle pleat leaves her looking wider than she is.  

Ah, okay, here we go.  She definitely knows her blouses.  The deep jeweled blue and green tones compliment her so well and I love the ruffle and knot details on them.  So stylin’.  

Completing this entirely inappropriate love triangle is Quinn and her bevy of cardigans.  I love a good cardigan and think that this little lavender number softens what looks to be a more modern print.  

She switches things up with a cream bolero and what I first thought was a camo-print dress.  It wasn’t until I pulled the screen cap that I realized, “Oh!  Those are flowers…ish.”   What I really like, though, is her belt.  Like I said, can’t resist a good bow.  It’s always fun to add a bit of hardware to an otherwise totally feminine outfit. 

This look is a little too summery for me right now and I surely wouldn’t have paired them with what I think are brogue-like wedges.  I like the shoe—I really like the shoe—but not with that dress.  

While she’s sans cardigan here, I like the asymmetrical neckline and little ruffle accent.   I also like her evil eyes—no one can hand out a death stare quite like Quinn.  

While not embroiled in some kind of love scandal, Emma and Will are definitely hot n cold—fashionably speaking, of course.  Emma is, as usual, spot on by adding some whimsy to a plain red sweater with a cute little fish brooch (any good Red Sea jokes out there?) and her hair looks amazing.

And this. Uff.  She is just perfect.  Perfect cut, perfect fit, perfect accessories, perfect color—I love that she’s always in something bright!  

And then, we have…gray. 

I see a little progress with the mixing of the printed tie and the gingham shirt, but this brown jacket has got to go.  

No, not yet?  Going to hang on to it for a bit longer, huh? 

Well…at least the tie is nice.  

I Am Unicorn - Part 2 of 3 - The X Factor

Since he’ll have his hands full with Dancing with the New Directions, Mr. Schue left the direction of the musical to Beiste and his ladybird, Emma.  Polos and gym shorts are to Beiste are like what tracksuits are to Sue—what you see is what you’ll get…Sunday-Saturday.  24/7. 

Thankfully, Emma isn’t plagued by that sort of hideous monotony.  I loved her flower sweater at first glance but after staring at it for a while, I can’t help but think that the leaves on the stem vaguely resemble a bra left behind in a dryer that was set on the heavy cycle.  But I do adore those t-strap heels! 

Mr. Schue also decides to make Artie the musical’s student director.  But budding Spielberg or not, those grandpa vests are not doing him any favors.  I do love Rachel’s red, white, blue dress—so preppy and nautical!  And be still, my heart.  Tina’s wearing yellow.  Like, real yellow.  Not an I-wore-my-white-Pilgrim-shirt-so-often-that-it’s-dingy-and-gross-now-yellow, but like a bona fide ROYGBIV yellow. That's color in two different episodes!

As another loyal fan to colors, Emma dons what I’m sure is a way cute sweater that I want for myself.  Artie and Beiste…well.  There they are. 

Emma’s top looks so promising with the stripes and bow at the neckline!  I only wish there was a better shot of it.  And at least Artie switched things up a little with an Aztec-inspired sweater.  

All right, I can only say Emma’s clothes are cute so many times before wanting to abandon this post to go shopping, so just admire it. Study it. Memorize it. And please tell me where I can get one once you’ve figured out where it’s from.

Kurt’s assignment notebook must be full to bursting by now: “Monday morning: agree that Brittany will be my campaign manager.  Adjust sweet birds brooch and remind self never to wear this red-orange and green combo again.”

“Tuesday night: meet with Brit to go over campaign posters.  No time to do hair, wear random captain’s hat.”

I’m sorry; I had to.  She’s wearing a unicorn headband.  With a tail...!!

Generally, Kurt can do no wrong in my eyes.  In this case, however, I would have strongly advised him that if he wants the role of ultra-masculine gang leader, a Streisand song may not be the best choice…and neither would the floral scarf.  Kurt, you’re auditioning for Tony, not Anita.  

You know what else I wouldn’t do if I wanted to present myself as super macho?  Wear feathers in my hair and recite lines from a Shakespearean play.  Only these two would get into full costume for a re-audition.

I really hope there’s more to this outfit that we just didn’t get to see because this look is mildly reminiscent of an ice dancer.  

All right, much better.  We’re back on track.  I love that he’s not afraid of ruffles and that jacket is so slick and cozy looking at the same time. 

Only Kurt (and maybe Mercedes) could make a studded jacket look fabulous.  But, I think when you unleash your inner unicorn, you can make just about anything look fabulous. 

In the midst of his audition and campaign woes, Kurt has to wrestle with the possibility that Blaine might steal the lead from him.   He may also steal the Best Dressed Man on Glee title—how adorable is he?  The whole thing is charming from the slightly askew bowtie, to the suspenders, and to his perpetually perfect coif.  

But Blaine, being the amazing BF that he is, decides not to audition for the lead. What a sweetheart. A sweetheart with a killer sense of style. His audition outfit is perfection and I like that he’s rocking ankle pants.  Bravo!

Rachel…well, when doesn’t she sing dramatic solos on stage in front of people?  Just another day in the life.   I am, though, a huge fan of this dress.  From the pale pink, to the little bow belt, to the delicate buttons down the bodice, and her curly hair—it’s just so sweet and feminine.  

Speaking of which, it’s hard to get more feminine than flowers and while I like this dress, I find it too summery for this time of year. 

But at least she’s not wearing knee socks.  Oh, #%$@.  I jinxed it, didn’t I?

Blame It On The Alcohol - Part 1 of 2: The Ladies

Episode Synopsis: McKinley High has a drinking problem (on top of the bullying/harassment, homophobia, sexism and other issues they have) and Figgins thinks the best way to deal with it is to A) have an assembly and B) get the Glee club to perform. GREAT IDEA. Will and Bieste are besties and go out to the honky tonk bar to work off some stress, and then Will drunk dials Emma (or so he thinks). The Glee kids do some "research" by partying at Rachel's place - Quinn is bruised after losing Sam to Santana, Finn isn't sure where he stands except that Rachel still wants him, but then Rachel kisses Blaine during Ye Olde Spin The Bottle and feels a spark, which makes Kurt jealous... Needless to say it rekindled a great many memories of my not-so-distant days at certain theatre department parties in college... Aaaaaand that's what you missed on GLEE!

Let's start with the glorious Miss Emma Pillsbury (or Mrs. Karl whateverhislastnameis, Mrs. John Stamos, basically).

Colors: perfect. So great with her hair and complexion. And she is like, the cutest, no? This dress is TOTES from Anthropologie by the way... I will obsess because I totally want it. How does Emma afford full outfits from Anthro on a guidance counselor's salary in THIS day and age!? The world may never know.

Later on she dons another delicious number from Anthro... also a silhouette she could totally rock at a Mad Men party. So springy, so adorbs!

I'll mention Sue briefly because she also looks kind of springy in purple and pink... that is to say, that pink stripe is the color known as 'honeysuckle' which is alllll over the runway for S/S 2011, mmmmkay? Sue gets it. Sort of.

And a shout-out to Coach Bieste, who FINALLY appears wearing something other than a men's polo by Ralph Lauren. I quote the Bieste directly: "You ain't lived till you seen me wearin' a COWBOY HAAAAT! Ba-dernk-a-dernk!"

Rachel shows some serious growth with a cute Scottie dog dress early in the episode, even if Finn looks kinda bland. Blah.

HOWEVER. The cute doggy dress is sniped down by the dress she chooses to wear while hosting the Glee Drink-A-Thon: a mint green, possibly vintage (I'm thinking 1970's Gunne Sax Jessica McClintock prom piece?) nightgown-ish monstrosity that belongs in the Goodwill donation box, not at your first drinking event. Yikes. Just... yikes.

Later, things go from worse to WORSE when she drunk dials Blaine (#1: is that André in that glass? #2: are you in your pajamas!? #3: remember that Blaine is gay???) and sports an interesting... um... thermal?

After the party, however, during clean-up with Kurt, Rachel looks really pretty and kind of mature in a black turtleneck, slim plaid skirt and dark tights.

Quinn, like the fabulous Emma Pillsbury, also shops at Anthro and also has gorgeous hair. Other than that, they're really nothing alike.

Granted, she's got her drink on in this pic, so her hair's a bit crazy, but the denim jacket is cute and the dress is faaaab. (Also, PLEASE note Puck wearing Lauren's glasses. Boom.) I really REALLY wanna talk about Quinn's ensemble in "Blame It On The Alcohol" (the song, not the whole episode, duh). Everyone seems to be sporting black sequins and shimmery stuff, which is great and everyone looks fly...

...but Miss Q made me stop and rewind. She looks AMAHZING. With a capitol MAH. The hat and ornate necklace/feather-collar paired with a little black dress are so vintage inspired and so Fosse that she instantly captured my attention.

Add some red lipstick, matching nail polish, and some wrist cuffs, and you're in business. It's so unusual and so fierce on her.

Here's the aftermath, with the girls sporting their Hangover Couture. Santana looks like she's ready for the beach. Tina looks.... well. You know. And Mercedes is surprising in pastel pink. She is exhibiting the classic "If I Wear Bright Colors, I Will Feel Better About My Life" syndrome. Good luck, girl.

Brittany's Hangover Couture look is 100% bonkers... in the best possible way. She continues her hat obsession with a furry animal-inspired chapeau and mixes ankle booties with knee-high socks... what. Also a ruffled mini and a teensy-weensy sweater. She is INSANE.

Speaking of insane... Brittany. Does. Ke$ha (aka Key-dollar-sign-Ha). Commence celebratory dancing NOW!

The other girls are less garbage-y but still in the same spirit... the drunk spirit, that is.

Brittany basically rules this episode, though, as far as fashion goes. Her hair consistently looks amahzing, her outfits are unique and flattering, and she DOES A KE$HA SOLO. Boom. Instant win.

Great hair.

The hat and tie and bolero and... just... yeah.

At the end of the ep, everybody ends up wearing a lot of red for some reason... alcohol awareness week school spirit???

Sue Sylvester Bowl Shuffle - Part 2 of 3: Teacher Uniforms

The leaders of McKinley High love the uniform even more than the students do...even if they don't have to wear them, they do.

Let's start with Coach Beiste and her uniforms of manly polo shirts. 

Actually, I want to know who the water boy is? Can he sing? His scarf to match his uniform jacket is adorable.  I feel like his love for the scarf would make him a good match for Kurt.

But Beiste does love the polo shirt. A lot. 

That's probably a championship ring, but I'm seeing cute cocktail ring. Anyone else? 

Beiste and Mr. Schue spent a lot of time showing off their uniforms during this episode. Beiste with her polo shirts and Mr. Schue with his Mr. Roger's Friendly Neighborhood inspired uniform. 

   But here's the thing: I don't care if you are the butchy coach of a football team, the Bermuda shorts in winter are not okay. 

I wonder if he puts on his keds when he gets to work and puts on his cardigan?

 

He does make one bold bold fashion change to his uniform:

Woah! No sweater? No jacket? Adding a whistle as an accessory? I'm not sure I can handle that Mr. Schue. Thank heavens he broke out a sweater vest.

  And another sweater jacket. 

I do dig the tie though. 

And a sweater vest/jacket combo? It's like every part of his uniform rolled into one!

Because I'm not sure I can handle bold sartorial moves from a man who shops at the House of Mr. Rogers. Nice peacoat/scarf combo. Golf claps on that one, but it's still very much a part of his casual preppy teacher look. 

 

The queen of uniforms at McKinley High is easily Sue Sylvester. While nothing tops her formal track suit (worn with pearls), she has a collection like no other.  

For yelling at crybaby Cheerios in practice:

For writing deep thoughts in her journal: 

For a tattoo:

 

Tracksuit outerwear!

 

For temper tantrums and tearing the school apart:

For ninja poops and judging Cheerios:

For threatening Schuster:

 

And for interviews about losing with Diane Sawyer Katie Couric:

And seriously, championship rings as cocktail rings? Let's make this happen. Where can I get one without actually winning a championship?