Glee: All or Nothing

The Amount of Suspense in This Episode Has Nothing To Do With Regionals!

Frustrations come to a boiling point this week with several dramatic subplots. Ryder demands — rather violently — that Catfish reveals herself. Marley confesses, but it turns out to be (SPOILERS) Unique, who just wanted to get close to someone she liked. Rachel wails through a Celine Dion song for her Big Broadway Callback and sheds a few tears (relief? terror? shame? pride?) to boot, but the Panel O' Judges seems unimpressed. We'll see how that turns out. Some folks at MIT determine that despite popular opinion/probability/possibility Brittney is a genius. She returns to McKinnley with serious 'tude, but it turns out she just has feelings because she's been offered early admission and has to leave immediately. Blah blah, regionals drama, and oh, suddenly regionals are being held at McKinley. The New Directions compete with a so-so lineup of songs, but (spoilers?) take the trophy anyway. Cheering and hugging abound, and then there's a wedding in the choir room.

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo of the Week:

Celine Dion's "Love You More." For a Broadway callback. Really? Reeeeally, Glee? In what universe would they a) let you choose what song to sing for a call back, b) let that song NOT be a showtune, let alone one from the actual show you're auditioning for, and c) have a pennywhistle player on hand to accompany you?

But whatevs, I like the demureness of this Jil Sander dress. This dress says calm, collected, semi-professional — a good dress to audition in. However, if we know one thing about Rachel Berry, it's that short sleeves and above-the-knee hemlines automatically reduce her age by ten years. Rachel is auditioning for Fanny Brice in Funny Girl on Broadway. Adding four inch platforms doesn't add on apparent years, Rachel. Neither does standing slightly pigeon-toed like the models you see in Vogue.

Big Reveal of the Week:

The identity of Catfish/Katie/whatevertheheckisgoingonthere is...

Marley! Looking particularly pretty in neutral tones with a possible snakeskin pattern, and her effortless flowing locks (standard Marley issue). This makes me think of an Urban Outfitters catalogue for July/August or thereabouts. But I like it.

Also, just kidding, Catfish is totally not Marley, it's actually...

...Wade/Unique! She discovered that she had feelings for Ryder, and so posed as a petite blonde in order to get his attention over text. This is Unique's "I'm Sorry" face. As plain as her polo is, girl still has FIERCE eyelashes. I would kill for those lashes.

The confession from Unique is heartfelt enough, but Ryder has no sympathy left, having been totally embarassed in front of everyone. Judgement is swift and harsh, just like it will be right now: Ryder constantly looks like a poorly dressed Ken doll. There, I finally said it.

Unexpected Plot Twist of the Week:

Brittany S. Pierce: Mathematical Super Genius.

Cute giraffe circle scarf, Brit!

Sadly, it was all downhill from there. I'm losing IQ points just looking at this Free People dip-dye skirt and oversized sweater situation. What's the look she's going for?

A coral beret (cute!), an acid wash denim vest with odd pins (mateless earrings?) and a faded graphic tee of the Old Navy/Gap sales bin variety leaves me equally cold.

And we end with this pin-up style updo (NICE!), paired with an Anthropologie feather-print cardigan and a ribbed striped shirt.

Brittany, what? Strange patterns, unusual color combinations, bizarre layers... and underneath it all, an Einstein brain. The thing I love about Brit, though, is how despite everything, no matter who goes and who stays or who dates who, Brittany always always dresses like her fashion advisor is a three year old girl. Still, I'll take the animal hats of seasons yore over this confusion.

Unlike Santana, who always dresses like she's the number one biatch on America's Next Top Model. I lurrrve this sheath dress in black, white polka dots and mint. It's bold and graphic and pop-art-y.

Did I mention I lurve it?

"FINALLY!!!" Moment of the Week:

Obviously Will and Emma ("Wemma?" asks the priest. I like "Wilma" more, personally) finally getting married ughhhhhhhthattookforeverrrrr in the choir room after Regionals.

Emma's hair has been flatironed within an inch of its life... but the lacy dress is all right and her sweet little bouquet is too perfect. Let's hope they can make it last (the marriage, I mean).

Nailbiter of the Week:

I am reeeeeally worried about Blurt. I mean Kaine. I mean Kurt and Blaine. Blaine wants to propose, like, yesterday, and Kurt still thinks they aren't even a couple anymore!? duhWHAT? Does Blaine not know how teen marriages turn out? It's like he doesn't even watch this show.

But boy howdy do these fellas know how to dress! Well, Blaine's is a bit mundane compared to his usual steez, but Kurt looks fabulous! The rusty orange against the subtle blues and maroons of his vest and scarf are amaze. UHMAZE. Also I adore how much lift his hair gets these days. Back in season one, he had the flat-to-the-skull emo sidepart.... and now this! So proud.

Blaine still owns cute sweatervests and adorable satchels, though. I love the bold red and navy for him, even if it does remind me of his Warblers uniform. #preppy

Yawn of the Week:

Regionals. Sigh.

These dresses from the Hoosierdaddies are cute and I'm giving windmill snaps for the boys' red shirts and black suspenders, but they definitely look like an underage wedding party. Or an overly coordinated homecoming court?

The New Directions do a bit better with slightly more classic colors and lines, but the fellas looked so casual next to the girls.

More Asos...

 

I personally think the hemlines of the dresses are too long for most of the girls, but the dresses are a win other than that. And can we talk about Kitty stealing the show with her bombshell bouffant and totally nude lipstick? It was impossible to get a clearer image of her, because girlfriend was busy with her twirls, kicks and hip-bumps. Werq.

Sleeper Agent of the Week:

I don't always think about Sugar Motta when she's not onscreen, but when I do, she's usually wearing gold lame and leopard print.

GASP! Dreams do come true! She legitimately came to school dressed like a 1991 Barbie doll (Beverly Hills Barbie? Rodeo Drive Barbie maybe?) and she knows it.

And then she proved the probability of her true secret identity: Britney and Madonna's secret love child. I can't get over the gold studs and the perfect chignon under that hat. And the biker gloves.

Oh, and also? Sugar spends the entire regionals performance of Icona Pop's "I Love It" in character. As in, like, acting. It's incredible. Observe:

Don't ever change, Sugar Motta.

So that's that for Season 4 of Glee. It was a rough road, you guys. Somewhere along the way, the show started limping along, but hopefully with one more character closer to NYC next year (welcome to MIT, Brittany!), we'll see less of the hallowed halls of McKinnley, and more fab fashion.

Glee: Sweet Dreams

Really and truly, we could have skipped this episode and reviewed the highlights (Rachel auditions for Funny Girl, Finn is in fake college, Marley is now a songwriter) entirely in flashback during a future episode. Or mentioned it in passing. Whatever. This episode was filler, and the only thing that saved it from my DVR's delete button was Rachel-as-Barbara in one of our favorite things ever — DRESS-UP MONTAGE!

Rachel's Melodramatic Song of the Week

It's a tie between 1) a mother-daughter duet of "Next to Me" complete with coordinating purple shirts and grey toppers...

...and 2) Rachel in the audition of her life. I know! She's finally chasing the dream of Fanny Brice in Funny Girl. Proud of you, Rach.

I can't make up my mind about this Maje dress with wrap skirt, though. Is it adorably perfect? Is it too twee? What Would Barbara Wear?

You know the answer to that — she'd wear a hat and a French twist, as Rachel did in this dress-up montage at the top of the show.

You guys, we here at YKYLF can not stress how much we love a good montage. And one that involves leopard print and eyeliner of perfection? Please. I am dying over here.

Said montage led to a glimpse of Little Rachel, and we now have an origin story for her wardrobe from seasons 1-3.

Knee stockings — check. Peter Pan collar — check. A dire need to be evaluated and accepted? If I'm reading the expression on Lil' Rachel's face correctly — check.

But this is Season 4, and Rachel will no longer be trifled with, nor will she dress like a toddler. I'm digging this top — it's got a bit of an 80s vibe with the rando print.

I'm also drawn to this simple blazer and the textured dress it was hiding. Again, we have a bit of an 80s influence in the print.

The shape was pretty cute, too, as blurrily seen here in her Dance of Joy with Kurt.

Oh! Right! Kurt was in this episode, and he wore layers. Observe the graphic top, casually tied scarf, and thin wrap. He's all "I'm too trendy to wear warm clothes, even though I'm actually freezing in this godforsaken loft."

Alas, Kurt had little to do in this episode besides appear in a song-hallucination during Rachel's audition, and then provide a plate of cookies while Rachel waited for the producers to come knocking on her door (or ringing on her iPhone, as the case may be).

Speaking of the producers, all three of these folks look familiar to me, but IMDb is of no help. What say you, YKYLF readers?

How Sue Sees It

She doesn't, what with that whole bringing-a-gun-to-school incident last week. So instead, we have Substitute Sue (aka Roz) who does an admirable job of keeping up the tracksuit tradition while sporting school colors. I mean, it's a bit expected, but how creative can one get with Adidas?

Anyway, peep that mani, perfectly offsetting her medal ribbon. Plus the pop of color, courtesy of her diving watch? I applaud your choice of accessories, Coach Roz.

Least Accurate Depiction of College

So, Finn's tried getting married, going to the Army, teaching high schoolers, and failing all that, has embarked on a new persona — Big Man on Campus!

I know we tend to hate shawl-collar sweaters, but this one doesn't bother me. It's a refreshing alternative to the usual hoodie seen on most college guys.

But back to the campus scene. What? I mean...what? There's no way that The University of Lima (anyone else catch the emphasis on the "The"? Hat tip to The Ohio State) has such an organized and good-looking student body.

Yeah, I'm guessing U of L is a suitcase college where things are earily quiet after 3pm and on weekends. And the likelihood of this many tan and fit bodies in the middle of an Ohio spring = slim/none.

But ya know, this is Hollywood, and in Hollywood, scenes like this play out at all colleges, and guys like Finn easily convince babes to shed their bikini tops and take a whirl on the slip-n-slide...

...and semi-suit up to rock out at frat parties.

BTW, I'm calling it now — Finn and Puck will pledge whatever-Kappa-whatever (Frat Bro #2's shirt is partially obscured, thus I can't make out the letters) and put their Glee Skillz to good use to save the fraternity from whatever ill is about to befall it.

I think I saw that on an episode of GREEK, anyway.

Oh! Right! Puck was in this episode too, as a sort-of-student at U of L (he's auditing a few classes, and no, I don't believe he knows what that means).

Although as he defines it, auditing means playing on the aforementioned slip-n-slide, rocking out at aforementioned frat parties dressed like a rockabilly guitar hero...

...and delivering some realness to Finn. Yes.

It's morning (afternoon?) in the dorm, and the boys are in their rumpled best. Puck thrusts a pink paper at Finn, who dismisses it as merely a warning from a prof for missing a test. Again, what? Was my school just particularly harsh with its sink-or-swim attitude, or are some insitutions this coddling? You guys, I can't tell what's real anymore.

Best Outfit of the Week

Like Rachel's audition outfit, Marley's military-inspired ensemble gave me conflicting feelings. Was it overly matchy? Was she channeling her inner majorette just a tad too much?

But the more I look at it, the more j'adore.

Bonus peep at Marley's cowboy boots (eh...do not like) and Unique's heels. Grrrrrrl...

More Gap...

Did you see Marley's folder in the top pic, in a perfectly matching shade of yellow? The contents of said folder bring me to this week's...

Least Compelling Plotline

Blah, blah Schue wants to sing old songs, the kids don't, Schue gets mad, he overhears their conversation, and relents in the end. I can't believe they spent half the episode on this minutia.

So instead, let's talk about Blaine's knitwear! First, he rallies the troops in a dandy contrasting cardi, followed by a coordinating outfit of the classic plaid-shirt-and-sweater-vest variety. Coach Roz, this is how you nail school colors.

Somewhere in there (again, Least Compelling Plotline) he and Unique decided that On Wednesdays We Wear Stripes. While horizontal stripes are not Unique's friend, I give golf claps for the expert mixing of purples. And I'm standing on my chair and straight-up cheering for Blaine's subdued yet snazzy stripes and yellow pants. It takes a strong man to pull of yellow pants.

Marley's on the knitwear train, too, first in this sweet aqua sweater paired with a pleated skirt and a song in heart. Yeah, lemme bring you up to speed — songwriting is her Thing, and that means we're going to be forced to listen to treated to original songs full of teenaged pathos, because New Directions will be singing one of these gems for regionals.

I suppose such wisdom comes easy to someone wearing an owl sweater.

Whooo wants to hear another song? Not me!

Tina's Latest Costume School Outfit

Remember when Tina was into Pilgrim Goth? And then 60s Mod? Well, her latest sartorial obsession is STEAMPUNK, Y'ALL!

I'm actually super excited for this, and hope it's not a one-episode passing fad attributed to her school-shooting PTSD. Just look at the textures! The accessories! The opportunities for snark!

I mean...she's wearing GOGGLES, for crying out loud!

This group shot is pretty normal, right? You're all "Oh, there's Brittany in her Cherrios uniform, Artie in a vest, Unique looking ladylike, and — OMG WHAT GOGGLES?"

Don't front. If you saw Tina in real life, you'd secretly want to be her.

BTW, Unique, I'm considering that exact pattern for my new stair runner. No lie. Oh, and Mardi Gras beads do not make for good accessories. See your pal Tina, there to your left, for accessorizing tips.

Most Scary Body-Snatching Moment

Here is Will.

Here is Finn.

Here are Will and Finn hugging it out.

NOW TELL ME — when you glance at the face over Jake's shoulder, does it not look like some sort of Will/Finn morph?

The more I look at it, the more unsettling it becomes. Much like this show in general.

Glee: Guilty Pleasures

So here's what you missed on Glee: nothing. The only possible plot point was Rachel and Brody's break up. Other than that, it was Guilty Pleasure week, with the Glee club confessing their love for Barry Manilow, the Spice Girls (!!!!), Chris Brown (which actually brought up an interesting "separating the artist from their art debate" that I would never have expected from Glee), and Phil Collins.

Only on Glee

Macaroni Art & Boyfriend Pillows. Because what other show would have macaroni art? Courtesy of Sam, obvi.

And filed under Late-Night-Six-Glasses-In-Bad-Decisions: boyfriend pillows. Filed under Good-Sartorial-Choices: Kurt's skull top.

Mike Chang's Replacement

Jake's guilty pleasure was the aforementioned Chris Brown, which he then switched out for a number by (the also stellar at relationships) Bobby Brown. I don't really care what Jake sings, so long as I can watch him dance. Peep the red socks and black Converse. Heart.

Best Dressed

While this week gave us some fun songs (Wham! "Copa Cabana!") the wardrobe was ho-hum. Except Rachel and Santana's sleepwear. I never would have pegged Santana as a polka dot girl, but there she is with PJs worthy of Jessica Day. And how typical of Rachel to wear a satin sleep set. The pink and blue combo is lovely...and those buttons! If Marc Jacobs can send pajamas down the runway...

More Eberjey...

 

Rachel's Melodramatic Solo Duet of the Week

Creep by Radiohead. Typically overwrought emotion and fromage, although props to Rachel for this gorgeous silk combo top which kicked off the song.

Also gorgeous: Brody in a suit. We will miss this.

I was all set to peg Rachel's boatneck full length black dress as completely blah, but then I spotted the gold zipper detail on the neckline and the plunging back. It almost redeemed this rendition of "Creep". Almost.

Sponsor of the week

The ABC Family has their cocktail ring warehouse, Glee has a closet full of American Apparel hoodies in every color under the sun. Except, our gang doesn't look nearly so emaciated and sun-starved as your typical AA model.

Best Sweater

Thanks to Glee I believe that if I move to NYC my wardrobe will become instantly chic and I will wear lots of gorgeous knits and have fab hair. I mean, where is Rachel getting this seemingly endless supply of Helmut Lang sweaters?

Tied for a close second is Unique's fab striped black and white cardi. Further snaps for the top underneath. (Also of note: Marley's attempt at pattern mixing. I'm not sure how it makes me feel. Do I applaud her for trying, or send her back to Patterns 101?)

Tina's 60s dress(es) of the week

Let us count the 60s mod dresses: 1) black and white striped flowers, 2) black and white plaid Rachel Roy, & 3) pop art orange. Dear Glee wardrobe dept: PLEASE give Tina another silhouette! Sure, this is better than the goth pilgrim days, but yawn and stuff.

WTF is Going on Award

'kay, this is not what I meant by a different silhouette. Here we have Tina as Vicky from Small Wonder. First, I had to google Small Wonder. Am still confused. This was beyond strange/pointless, even for Glee.

And oh, hey. I almost didn't see Marley there. How does one wear a striped sweater and still blend into the wall?

Second place goes to the Glee club in a strange collection of Wonder Woman/Hippie/Elvis/Is-This-Supposed-to-be-Abba? ensembles.

Perhaps they're interplanetary ambassadors from a planet where the denizens sing instead of speak? And everyone has an endless supply of costume changes and American Apparel hoodies?

Clear Bra Straps of the Week:

As fellow YKYLF staffer Lauren pointed out a few weeks ago...what's with the clear bra straps? This week we see them on Marley, along with a terrible British accent and sequinned mini dress.

Which brings me to...

Tribute of the Week:

Spice Girls! Unique as Baby Spice (wha??), Kitty as Ginger Spice, Tina as Scary, Marley as Posh (again, wha?!), Brittany as Sporty Spice. The outfits are pretty spot on, from Unique's lacy turquoise dress to Tina's pink leopard. Especially love Marley's chained Jeffrey Campbells.

 

So, will we get any actual plot next week? Will the adults return? Will the wardrobe department put Tina in something other than a 60s dress and will they also discover strapless bras? 

Hopefully the answer is yes to all.

Glee: I Do

Everyone is descending upon Lima for the Big Wedding — Emma and Will are tying the knot on Valentine's Day! But Finn "accidentally" kissed Emma in the last episode, and is feeling super guilty, and so what does he do? He meets Rachel for coffee and confesses. Rachel, too absorbed in her own New York Fabulousness to care, brushes it off. A lot of people hook up with a lot of people, including Artie and Emma's niece Betty, Quinn and Santana (!!!), Finchel (!?!?), and Blurt. Emma pulls a total Runaway Bride and peaces out before she even makes it down the aisle, and Will is heartbroken, but the reception carries on. Rachel returns to New York, where she and Brody lie to one another about having been alone on V-Day, and the episode ends with Rachel taking a home pregnancy test.

Best Sass-Off of the Week

Artie meets his match in Betty Pillsbury, Emma's sharp-tongued niece who claims not to date "losers in chairs." Artie doesn't take no for an answer, though, and steps up to plate with some wit of his own and his goofy charm on the dance floor at the wedding reception. Sassy, and then d'awwww....

Our boy has left the sweatervest at home, too! So proud. Love the scarf! And Betty is werking the red dress and curls. However, I'm reluctant about the furry bolero. It appears to have been made out of Snuffalupagus pelt, and I'm not sure where the brown fits in with the ensemble.

Oh there we go, much better! A lilac leather jacket with soft flowy hair is super springy and cute! But, oh, Artie. That may be the most boring vest you've ever worn. Maybe Betty will take you shopping?

Best Stressed Award

Emma. Poooooor Emma. Poor hyperventilating, terrified Emma. I love this plum/wine/mulberry color on her though, and the matching belt against a cream skirt is really kind of neat and Mad Men-y of her. I did spend several minutes trying to figure out what the sparkly, circular brooch is in the center of her bow. It's... distracting.

More IGIGI...

On the upswing, though, Emma's pretty wedding dress is so Duchess of Cambridge!

A pity she ruins the train by hopping into a cab and slamming the door with half of it still hanging out the side.

Worst of the Gay Wardrobe

What what what are you doing? Kurt appears to be wearing a human-sized doggy sweater (the size of that knit is stunning!) and Blaine is in so much white I'm worried about his teeth maybe looking a little yellow by contrast. And TINA. Tiiiiina. We made great strides in the "Diva" episode and now this faux-Hot Topic monstrosity? One step forward, twelve steps back, Tina.

Best of the Gay Wardrobe

Santana as usual, takes the cake on sultry perfection... but this week she is joined by (surprise!) Quinn, who has seized an opportunity to experiment and give Santana's team a try. For the wedding itself, Santana keeps it simple with a dark faux-fur jacket over her bombshell dress, and matching red lips. Quinn, ever the retro-inspired icon, wears a sparkly, rainbow-fractured Alice + Olivia jacket over her gown that seems a little bright for a wedding in February, in my opinion, but I like how weird and fun it is nonetheless.

Afterwards, at the reception....

Va-va-VOOM, ladies. Their combined snarky powers are almost too much to handle. Quinn is cool as a cucumber in that Kate Spade dress, despite Santana's curiosity about what's really going on in her head, and they respectively rock their shades of red and rose.

And ALL RIGHT, our boys make up for their weird sweater transgressions by looking phenomenal in suits. And belting Depeche Mode. I'll just say what everyone's thinking: I miss Blurt, and I just can't get enough!

City Girl in the Country Award

Rachel everlovin' Berry seems to be permanently posing these days, like she's fighting for her life on ANTM. Points for the purrrrfect bangs, but I grow weary of her self-indulgent smirks and head tilts. I really like this red Ted Baker coat, although it's a bit much to wear for a coffee meet-up with your Significantly Ex-Significant Other in your little hometown.

Melodramatic Solo Duet Group Song of the Week

Bob Seger's "We've Got Tonite" as sung by Finchel at the wedding reception (ugh, who picked this song?) which then turns into a Majestic Montage of Wedding Hook-Ups.

Rachel's gardenia Zarita dress for the wedding is lacy, bodycon, and has a visible gold zip up the back. Muy risqué for a wedding, I think, but I guess appropriate if you're one of the wedding singers. Which, of course, she is. I like the color on her, too.

Bear in mind also that she pairs it with sparkly white heels. Le quoi?

And, oh, Finchel.... is it wrong to still ship it, even when I've lost all respect for Rachel as a human being and she totally destroyed Finn's sense of self? I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY, YOU GUYS.

So. What on EARTH is going to happen next? Where did Emma even GO when she ditched the altar? And although Quinn said she's still str8, will she go gay for Santana again? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Glee: Diva

"Use that finger, use that snap."

A "diva off" and "NYADA Midnight Madness" in one episode? Oh, the kids had a busy week my friends. If it wasn’t for the opulence of the runway sequence to "Diva", I would petition Ryan Murphy to just chop the Ohio bit of Glee right now. Between the life affirming lessons and the Muppet Babies level story-lines coming out of McKinley, it’s obvious that Glee’s future is in New York. Finn tries desperately to unleash the inner divas of the club, while Kurt is fixin’ to take down the newly-crowned queen, Rachel Berry. Between musical interludes, Emma throws a serious fit about wedding planning because girlfriend can’t make a decision and Finn, bless his dopey heart, thinks kissing her will calm the nerves. They are so lucky Santana is back for this episode, or my television would have been on the business end of a glass of wine.

Song of the Week

Naturally, I have to give it to Rachel & Kurt dueling on "Bring Him Home" from Les Miz. Like Kurt said, a little catfight keeps a friendship fresh, though I don’t remember any of mine ending up in a clandestine midnight singing competition. They both dressed to kill with Kurt looking the most polished he’s been in a long time. I love the scarf, I love the devil-may-care open collar, and I am living for his grey suit. 

Not to be outdone, Rachel looks gorgeous in her sequined ombré cocktail dress. It’s got the right amount of flow without looking like she’s about to hit the club. Unfortch for Rachel, that’s the best look she had this week since everything else was black and knitted. Honestly, losing one little singing contest does not justify you abandoning what was becoming a fierce ass wardrobe.

Best Fashunz of the Week

It’s a tie, y’all! Who could decide between Kurt and Santana? Don’t answer that. I’ll admit that Kurt wasn’t getting 10s across the board, but these two looks are so on the mark that I may have finger waved at my television. First, that polka-dot merlot shirt under the simple black cardigan? Fantastic. It’s chic, it’s simple and he is making it werk like a blender at brunch. 

However, the real winner for me was this beautiful blue shirt and distressed denim, perfectly complemented by a weather approps pea coat (take note, Pretty Little Liars elite). It’s quite a plain look for Kurt without any of his usual flamboyant touches, but I think it still captures his personality.

Of course, put Kurt next to Santana in this ultra sexy fuchsia body-con dress and all eyes are on her. I mean, these dresses are so simple that it takes a serious diva to make one look couture – and you know this broad from Lima Heights is the only Glee kid who could pull it off. Her golden necklace is brilliant and hangs just perfectly. That lil’ bit of shine next to that colour makes me swoon. Thankfully, Santana’s hair is thick enough to cushion my fall.

Cocktail Dresses
Pumps

Best "She Turned The Party!" Moment

Can I just say that as a drag queen, I got my life from the "Diva" sequence. The dresses, the attitude, the face, the walk... it was everything! Some of the gals didn’t quite make the cut — I’m looking at you, Marley and Kitty. I didn’t include them here because Marley looked like a sad aerobics instructor who failed yet another So You Think You Can Dance? audition, and Kitty was writhing on the ground in a dress that did not deserve such skankery. You’re supposed to be a diva, and unless your name is Mariah Carey and you have a luxurious bed with silk linens caressing your curves, you do not wriggle like a dying mermaid on the stage.

That being said, clock these divas before...

And after their makeovers. I think it’s clear that Unique turned the party this week; as if there was going to be a doubt. Brittany looks like the oldest contestant on Toddler & Tiaras; Blaine’s look isn’t too bad, but I didn’t see even a hint of hell; Tina’s dress is fierce as all hell, but that hair looks like she swept it up at the Westminster Dog Show. Miss Thang, Unique just owns everything in this golden gown. The attitude is in place and the fur is in your face. Give this gurl a 10, judges!

Worst "Prime of Miss Jean Brodie" Collection

Emma Pilsbury gets a lot of shade from the YKYLF staff... AND SO SHE SHOULD. I don’t even know where to start. Wait, yes I do: that pink nightmare she thought was passable outside of a Polly Pocket playset. It's just that J.Crew pencil skirt and the Nana-esque sweater with the bubblegum peasant collar – do you want me to die? Her tribute to green and orange isn’t much better, but at least it’s not assaulting my retinas.

I’m sad to be hating on Emma this week because the jade pencil and black/blue mod patterned skirts were just lovely. I'm just OVA this endless parade of kate spade sweaters, y'all. I suppose trying to plan a full wedding in a week is getting to her. And that kiss with Finn. Jesus, what the hell was that about? Emma, 5-Gs: good god gurl, get a grip.

Most "Who Knew He Was Into Leather?" Look 

I guess Blaine’s been exploring his interests since he and Kurt split, because this is not an outfit you have "just lying around". Then again, Blaine does seem to have an absurd amount of costumes at his disposal. At any rate, this literally made me laugh out loud when they cut to Blaine throwing a ridiculously kinky homage to Freddie Mercury. I miss this tongue in cheek humour from Glee. Stop trying to teach me a lesson and just be campy already!

Worst Exampes of NYADA Bitches

These two queens are the worst. Anyone who can look Rachel Berry in the eye and say, "But you’re Barbra’s heir apparent" needs to get slapped with a reality check the size of New Jersey. When Kurt read these bitches down, I most definitely said "Amen!"

Most "Gurrrrrrrllllllllll..." Moment of the Week

Tina Cohen-Chang, you have got to figure your shit out, gurl. I’m thrilled she finally won something (as was Britney), but a diva does not wear some awful colour blocked rag that spreads your shoulders like peanut butter. It reminds me of a bowling ball which, you know, are so attractive. This is the look of a girl who’s convinced she can enjoy a “sexless relationship” with gay male best friend. I’m glad they wrapped that plot up because I can’t even deal with that bullshit. Clock that disaster next to her “Hung Up” look (which oddly transitions from fantasy to reality), and she looks so much more real. I mean, her hair – can we talk about that hair!? Turn up the volume children, because Mama came to throw down. The only drawback to the whole Madonna ensemble was the calf-length hose. Get them to the ankle, Tina!

Best Runner Up for Song of the Week

Of course I’m giving another shout out to Santana! I love this bitch! Actually, I would have given “Nutbush City Limits” a tie with Kurt and Rachel, but Santana showed up in a cheerleader uniform to perform at the high school. She’s more diva than that; at least take the kids into the auditorium so she can leave it on the stage. To cap off her guest appearance, Santana has a heart-to-heart with Britney (always cutes patoots) and decides to follow her dreams to NYC while belting out "Girl on Fire". It was a crime to keep this diva locked down in cheerleader uniforms when she’s got an amazing cobalt blue leather jacket that’s begging to be coveted.

Next week is supposed to be the wedding episode, which means Will is coming back. Ugh. But at least we got another dose of Santana this week and saw her decide to follow her dreams. Wait... following dreams? To New York City? SANTANA IS JOINING THE NYC CREW! Batten down the hatches, friends – it’s about to get a whole lot more sassy on the east coast.