Goodbye: The Graduates

So, here’s What You Missed on Glee: It’s the season three finale, and most of the glee kids are graduating. Rachel’s off to NYADA, Quinn’s still going to Yale, Santana’s going to give New York a try, Mike Chang got a dance scholarship and Puck actually managed to pass his senior year. Kurt didn’t get in to NYADA but I bet he finds himself in New York anyway, and Finn surprised us all by joining the army. Oh, and Mercedes graduated even though she’s not a senior because she’s going to L.A. to be a backup singer. Geez, how many spinoffs is Ryan Murphy planning?

Rachel’s Melodramatic Solo of the Week:
Graduation brings out major feelings, so most of the songs this week skewed toward the dramatic. But of course, this wouldn’t be a Glee season finale if it didn’t end with a classic Rachel Berry sing-and-cry. She belted out “Roots Before Branches” after leaving Finn behind to chase her dreams in New York.

Yes, that face happened.

How Sue Sees It: In September, we’ll finally get to meet the celebrity father of Sue’s baby. The anticipation is killing me almost as much as these maternity track suits are.

Track Suit Sightings: Two

Brittany Bon Mots: “I was kinda glad when I found out I was flunking, cause it’ll give me a chance to do my senior year all over again – and way better. I’ll show up to my classes this time, plus I’ll get to be a two-term senior class president…What did you think was going to happen to me? I have a 0.0 grade point average.”

Song of the Week: “You Get What You Give” because it brought back memories of my middle school days and the “Now” compilation CDs. But “In My Life” was a close second. In fact, room may have gotten just a tad dusty during that performance, causing my allergies to flare and my eyes to tear a bit. Shut up, I'm not lying.

Best Outfits of the Week: Quinn really brought it this week with her fun, colorful dresses. And girlfriend really knows how to rock a classy hat.

Aren’t we all so glad she didn’t have to put her graduation cap atop that unfortunate pink hair?

And I loved this look Rachel donned at the beginning of the episode – yes, she’s still wearing knee socks and a tam. But the shoes and the fun, nautical shorts say “Rachel Berry is an adult now!”

But really, does anything beat the outfit she wore to arrive in New York?

More Theyskens' Theory...

I adore the shoes, but it’s the jacket, purse and hat that really knock this one out of the park. It looks a tad warm for June (I assume they graduate in June?) in New York, but it is tres Mary Tyler Moore Show. I waited the whole time for her to throw her hat in the air midway through an intersection, but it never happened.

Worst Outfit of the Week: The worst outfit of the week honor goes to Sugar, for whatever was going on here:

Is that a pleated pleather skirt? What’s going on with her hair? She looks like a country club hooker.

Best Outfits on Non-Graduates: I was going to nominate Emma for this imaginary award, because I love a good cardigan.

The belt adds a cute pop of color as well.

But Brittany really takes a cake in this floral dress and hat.

More Lauren Ralph Lauren...

We’re all assuming she thought she was attending a royal wedding, right? Or a garden party?

Best Graduation Entrance: It’s a toss up between Santana’s sassy shimmy and Kurt’s fabulous high kick.

Best Father/Son Moment Of All Time: The best moment of the entire episode came very early on, when Burt Hummel delivered a graduation gift to his son. He’d learned the Single Ladies dance. Remember when he found Kurt rehearsing it with Brittany and Tina, many moons ago?

It doesn’t get more fabulous than this.

Unless you count the reaction Kurt had, which was a delightful mix of laughter and crying.

I don't think you can end a recap (and a season) with a better photo than that.

I also don't know what Glee will look like in the fall or who will still be on it, but I'm glad this season ended on a fashionable note. See y'all in the fall!

Pilot - Part 1 of 3 - The Principals

Since Glee has started down a path of suckitude, we've decided to look back at the days when it ruled. You can expect retro recaps once every few weeks, on Mondays. Enjoy!  - Jen

So here's what you missed on Glee: former show choir member and current Spanish teacher Will Scheuster takes over McKinley High's glee club, a place where teenage dirtbags sing and dance and fall in love, kind of like the Island of Misfit Toys with a drum beat. Football coach Ken likes guidance counsellor Emma, who likes Will, who's married to the crazily mercenary Terri. Cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester just hates everyone. Slushies are thrown and Journey songs trashed. Let's roll on with the show...

Finn Hudson is a perpetually confused quarterback - is he happy, is he sad, is he a sportsman or a singer? He's basically Zac Efron in High School Musical, only less hot. Finn will always return to one of three norms: a polo shirt, a hoodie...

Or a sweatshirt with stripes (he wears another red one this episode)...

He occasionally appears naked, rocking out in the shower while Will watches, pondering his 'talent'. It's not creepy, I swear - although Will forces Finn to come out of the musical closet by planting weed in his locker, which is creepy. Also illegal.

Hungry for fame and hungry for Finn is Miss Rachel Berry, queen bee of the old Glee club and wannabe Barbara Streisand. She wears an awful lot of button downs and some very pretty headbands (observe the Blair Waldorf like beauty atop her head in the second image).

Rachel, being an everywoman social outcast, often gets a slushie thrown in her face. Thank you, Glee, for giving the bullies of America and beyond something creative to do.

Rachel also enjoys sweater vests, knee socks, and basically dressing like a conservative Harajuku girl. This bleachers outfit is typical Rachel: lovely contrasting colours in the vest and skirt.

But she's not all sweetness and spice, oh no. Rachel got the former Glee club director thrown out for touching little boys (not true, but getting there), and sometimes she makes bold fashion choices, like this gorgeous pleated green and black houndstooth skirt.

Other new Glee club members include Mercedes Jones (the Curvy One with the Pipes), whose fashion choices irk me. A fence printed t-shirt? Over another t-shirt? With a matching plaid hat?

Kurt Hummel (the Fabulous but Shrill One) makes statements with his clothing, and the one I'm getting from this ensemble is that he escaped from a prisoner of war camp.

He then stole a car and drove to Levi's.

Then bought girl's shoes.

Joining them is Tina Cohen-Chang (the Goth One), who kissed a girl and then raided her lock box to make jewellery. She's like Wednesday Addams crossed with a really angry Avril Lavigne.

Along with Artie Abrams (the One in the Chair with Light Up Wheels, how awesome is that?), they make up the New Directions! Let's get started on some group critique.

Kurt: I enjoy your outfit, and hate those white Michael Jackson gloves as much as you must.

Tina: sweetie, no empire lines for you - especially no Empire lines with an above the knee skirt. You have a waist, stop hiding it beneath a shroud.

Artie: who are you, my father? Add some colour!

Rachel: I've literally just come off Gossip Girl rotation, please don't make me scream at you for wearing white tights. Nobody's legs look good in white tights.

Mercedes: lose the sweatbands, you're not a Williams sister. Pink and red do not look good together at the best of times, and those combat trousers need to be burned. Right now.

This club is devoid of glee since they hate old timey show tunes. This is evidenced by their pallette of greys and blues - props to Rachel for her purple sweater - miserable expressions - also, that sweater makes Kurt look like a mime - and the fact that Mercedes is trying to make yellow 'happen' in her accessories.

It's not going to happen.

It's not even going to happen if Kurt wears it.

I loathe this outfit, not just because of the icky lemon/beige colour. Translucent vests should never be worn, because a) they show your bra, and b) when your male best friend steals them, they fail to hide the tail end of his tie. Why tuck it in that case?

Mercedes does have her moments of coordination, like a marroon shirt with a sparkly shirt underneath and a sparkly head scarf, also with marroon accents. Bad colour, good concept.

Finn spurs the club into action when Will is bullied into becoming an accountant by his wife, Terri, who wants a sun nook for their baby on some rubbish. He persuades them to destroy that old classic, Don't Stop Believin', because a guy on a lawnmower once sung it to him.

Ok, time for more critique:

Tina: please stop wearing pleated skirts with bare legs and same colour knee socks. In fact, stop wearing so much black, it washes you out.

Kurt: for the love of God, someone explain that sweater to me. What is it...why does it...cerulean is a lovely colour, but that cut makes the poor boy look lumpy and ladylike.

Mercedes: the waistcoat is divine, and I almost don't mind you matching your shoes and accessories to it. Camoflauge is a no, but military is a very good look for you.

Artie: WEAR SOME COLOUR.

In the end, these kooky kids bring it on home in their differently tailored red tops and jeans, promising good things to come. Why? Because all the best teeny boppers do it.

The Spanish Teacher - Part 2 of 2 - ¡Que Mala Suerte!

This week saw the continuation of the Sue Sylvester Track Suit Infinity Loop with the following eye-popping gems:

I will say in Sue's defense that her makeup is considerably softer than what it used to be, and I appreciate the little things.

Bronze-medal Olympian swim coach Roz Washington has it out for Sue. She's even wearing loud windbreakers to compete with Sue's track suits, and she insists on wearing her bronze medal with every outfit, all the time. (Although, I pause to reflect: if I had won an Olympic Medal, would I not be considering wearing it all the time as well???)

Mike Chang, I am concerned about this outfit. The cardigan has white sleeves attached to a green body, and there are elbow patches that are neither color. Then, you have a white henley underneath, which makes the cardigan look like a strange vest instead of a cardigan, and the color you chose for your trousers looks more like the Crayola hue "goldenrod" than casual khaki slacks. I am concerned about this overall because the look is confusing. (And where is Tina Cohen-Chang?? I didn't see her the entire episode.)

What....is happening here?

Hmm. What's this? Artie, your sweater... it's unusual but most of your wardrobe usually is.

 

Oh no. What's that? I though they might be weird phone booths or something, but no. It clearly says "HOTEL." Artie, WHERE did that come from??? I'm pretty sure you just won some kind of insane sweater award, because I am totally flummoxed as to what to say about that pattern.

Mr. Schue, how many times have I had to tell you? Corduroy jackets do not go with black ties. How unfortunate. (It's mystifying to me how in some episodes, Will is totally on top of his game and knows all the words to the hip new songs, but in this instance, he doesn't know any of the words and he's totally overshadowed by Señor Hottie Martinez.)

This is a little better, but still boring. A gray shirt with a black tie and black sweater? While Emma prances around looking like a fairy tale come true? Step up, Will.

Heavens to Murgatroyd. What.

Finn. I know Sam made you all wear bolo ties (and weird shoes) for the number, but it's still a bolo tie and it's awful. Wait. WAIT. Finn, are you wearing a SHORT-SLEEVED button down shirt with a bolo tie? Oh. Oh, Finn... no.

Sam, your new haircut and your adorable passion for Mercedes is almost enough to make me ignore the bolo ties. But not quite enough.

Mmmhmm. This is much better. Casual and brooding.

Normally this kind of blandness would be unacceptable, but considering he's wearing hand-me-downs and donations while his family is still in poverty, I'll give him a pass on this one.

Now go get Mercedes back, you lucky dog you!

Michael - Part 2 of 2 - Just a Little Bit of Me

The rest of the New Directions only seemed to pop in here and there for bits of Michael week. Or at least stayed just long enough for a solo or duet.  Otherwise, their appearances were as unremarkable as their outfits.  Case in point:

Boring Irish fellow.

Sad looking Puck:

On the other hand, everyone is A++ for the big group MJ number.  Brittany’s costume looks so amazing on her, Finn in anything glittery is definitely noteworthy, Rory’s rocking the military look as well as Santana, and Mike’s Thriller get-up is spot on. 

Not so spot on?  Tucking your shirt and cardigan into your pants.

I suppose, though, it could be overlooked given that he’s about to don some spikes and nail a duet with Mike.  Such a fun change from the usual Artie! 

That’s also about as interesting as it gets for Mike; though, I do love that he took a cue from Blaine and pulled on a pair of colored trousers.  The track jacket pairs excellently with the red.  And I was beyond thrilled to see Tina in this navy and green dress. 

But not as thrilled as when I realized she had ditched the hideous Pilgrim collar for the cowl neck. 

I am also super-loving her foray into the land of preppy.  The suspenders are a great, and often overlooked, accessory. 

Be still my heart. 

Now, this is not the best dress ever, but it is far and away a world of improvement.  We can ditch the orange, but the button detailing along the front is a nice little touch.   And while Mike is about to yawn at his outfit, Quinn is super chic in her bright yellow jacket and gray and white skirt.  I’m not wild about this full skirt situation over here, but the jacket makes up for it. 

She must be taking lessons in great jackets from Rachel, because she stole Blaine’s blanket and fashioned herself a great red and black blazer. 

And can we talk about her hair? That impulse decision to chop off her locks at the end of Season 2 was a good one.

White and navy always look great together.  So do dresses and blazers.  Put them all together and add some lace detailing?  Lovely.  Classic, chic, sophisticated and mature without looking dated.  

The clear winner of the night was her floor-length black sequined gown.  Obviously, this picture doesn’t do it justice, but while everyone — yes, myself included — was oohing, ahhing, and salivating over this long sparkly number, I was also over the moon with her hair and make-up.  To.  Die.  For. 

This outfit, with the bow detailing at the collar, is pretty nice and it somehow works with the plaid, but let’s face it, nothing can really follow that black dress.

Not to be outdone in the sparkle department, Mercedes ups the ante with metallic lettering, bright colors, animal prints…

…and sequins, of course.

At least it matches the sparkling personality that caught Sam’s attention in the first place.   In other circumstances—like, say, if we were somewhere in southern California—I’d be onboard with this light wash jean jacket.  I appreciate his effort to move away from the plaid, but I’m going to go ahead and say he should get rid of it. Just a little bit.  

 

And despite his few and far between appearances, Mr. Schue managed to make the most of it with four outfit changes.  Only one vest this week, my vest-defiant friends. 

He switches it up from the blazer and the boring shirt with a forest green cardigan trimmed with light blue which is a great piece.  But matched with a red tie and a swill-colored dress shirt and I’m singing a different tune.

And speaking of different tunes, while the New Directions definitely hit it out of the park with their renditions of Michael's songs (and I know it was awesome because I woke up the next morning with “Gotta Be Startin’ Somethin’” in my head) I can’t wait to see how they do when Ricky Martin takes their tunes south of the border.  I’m sure it’ll be nothing short of caliente! 

Extraordinary Merry Christmas - Part 2 of 2 - Merry Christmas

The holidays mean a lot of things. Presents, candy, parties, eggnog. All of these things are great. But for those of us who love fashion, it also means festive sweaters, sparkly accessories and pretty dresses. And Glee delivered on all of those fronts.

Artie finds himself perpetually on my Worst Dressed list, but Christmas is the one and only time of year when his grandpa sweaters become not only appropriate, but charming.

So. Many. Reindeer. I’d love to know how he manages to store so many sweaters. There are boys in the glee club who dress for the holidays more stylishly though, and I’d like to nominate Blaine for best dressed male.

The velvet blazer he rocked during the opening number? Divine. Among Blaine’s many talents are pulling off a bow tie and shooting Kurt sideways glances. See?

I wish he’d look at me that way…OK, getting off track. Blaine even knows how to out-sweater Artie.

Kurt looks cute here, but his best moment came during “All I Want For Christmas Is You”.

All I want for Christmas is for Kurt to dress like a candycane all year round.

The ladies of New Directions really brought it this week, though. How many beautiful retro dresses does Rachel Berry own?

Despite not being a fan of her Heidi braids, I love how Rachel looks here – red is such a good color on her. Quinn looks adorable in that polka-dot dress. Oh, and Tina is also there. Wearing a plaid coat?

Doesn’t matter, because the spotlight was shining on Mercedes, who belted out a Mariah Christmas tune while wearing a gorgeous purple dress.

Stunning. This may be the best she’s ever looked. She also expressed her holiday spirit through pops of red and sparkly accessories.

 

Another red dress on Rachel! Her selfish holiday wish list might have been ugly, but her wardrobe sure isn’t.

Check out how cute she looks in this sweater:

I think I liked this polka dot number even more, especially with the adorable hat.

And the blue dress she wore to perform with Blaine? So sophisticated.

Blaine looks incredibly adorable in that suit and sweater.

I think Rachel really outdid herself with the dress she wore to sing “River” though.

I’m green with envy over that green dress. (Bad joke, I know).

Now, onto the Christmas television special. Artie was directing, and he did an…interesting job. Here’s a look at the opening credits:

Kurt and Blaine look the best, of course. And they got to host the show! It was all done in black and white like a Judy Garland Christmas special.

I loved the retro vibe they went for here, and the wink-wink-nudge-nudge sense of humor they used to approach the special.

While most of New Directions were filming the TV show, Sam and Quinn made good on their promise to Sue to visit the soup kitchen. Quinn manages to make an apron look cute with her fuzzy sweater.

They weren’t alone for long, though. After learning a lesson about Christmas spirit from “Itchy the Elf” (again, poor Rory) the whole gang headed over the soup kitchen…but not until after the plug had been pulled on the special, so I guess it wasn’t THAT selfless. Anyway, I’ll forgive them just because they look so cute. I mean, Puck in this hat?

Only Noah Puckerman could pull that off.

Will and Emma looked like they stepped right out of a bad Saturday Night Live skit, but at least Emma’s shirt is pretty.

Everyone got together to sing “Let Them Know It’s Christmastime”, because I know when I’m interacting with homeless people I like to sing songs that ask them to feed the world.

I love Rachel’s patterned coat, and the fact that Finn is wearing something other than a hoodie in a bland color. (Take note, Sam.) Kurt and Blaine look adorable as always, and even Tina has impressed me with her hot pink coat! It’s a Christmas miracle!

After learning an important lesson about the true meaning of Christmas (HANUKKAH?), Rachel realized she’d been really greedy and selfish. She and Finn returned their Christmas gifts and donated the money to the charity Sam and Rory were collecting for.

Rory finally looks good! And Sam looks…OK! Hey, at least it looks like he might be wearing a festive sweater under that jacket. Probably an early Christmas gift from Artie. Blah blah blah, it’s better to give than to receive, etc…can we please talk about how great Rachel looks instead?

I am in love with that coat. The flirty skirt? The bows? Her hat? It was cute enough to make me forget how horrible she was throughout the whole episode.

Well y’all, if nothing else this episode of Glee certainly inspired me to break out my own festive outfits. Happy Holidays!