On My Way - Part 1 of 2 - Pre-Regionals

At best, I would describe this week’s episode of Glee as tonally inconsistent. At worst, I’d describe it as a disastrous mash-up of two PSAs that had no place being in the same episode, or perhaps on television at all. In the show’s first act, we saw Karofsky deal with some serious bullying and attempt suicide. Then the show dealt with that in strange, misguided ways. (Kurt rushing to the side of his former tormenter, Schu giving an Irish kid peanut butter to teach them about teen suicide, Sebastian immediately reforming his smarmy, jerkwad ways because that’s apparently what happens when someone tries to kill himself). In the second act we had Regionals, which felt incredibly off considering what had happened in the episode. I can’t enjoy the Troubletones belting out “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” in this context. And in the third act we had Rachel and Finn’s woulda-been wedding, and an incredibly obtuse lesson about the dangers of texting and driving. Is Quinn dead? We won’t know until the show is back from hiatus in April. And that’s what you missed on Glee!

This is a difficult episode to cover for a snarky fashion website, both because it dealt with some serious issues and because I have some serious problems with all that went down. But we have a job to do, folks, and I’m going to do it! Let’s start by talking about Rachel. How many red dresses does girlfriend own?

You have to admit, it’s a great color on her.

And this adorable nautical dress would have made YFYLF writer L-A swoon, had she not been too busy ranting about the episode.

Rachel also looked absolutely lovely in this polka-dot number with the red belt.

The role of blushing bride suits her, I guess. She really killed it (oh god, accidental bad pun – sorry) on the fashion front in this episode. I’m less impressed with Kurt. I wish we could see the stripes he’s rocking underneath that bland jacket. Love the look on his face, though – it’s because he’s addressing our nemesis, Sebastian.

Smarmy, smarmy, smarmy. Hate.

Kurt made questionable fashion choices throughout the episode. There was this shirt:

 Is that vintage? Like, vintage from the 1800s? It looks like it came from the set of Little House on the Prairie and he was out working in the fields with Pa Ingalls.

At least it’s better than this:

What is that supposed to be? Is he a sad clown? A sad mime? An old-timey black and white circus ringleader?

He did look cute here with Blaine – these boys sure know how to rock a jacket.

Kurt’s fashion choices have been questionable lately, but this red sweater and bow-tie combo makes my fashionable heart flutter.

And he brings the prep again in a striped polo.

I think we can attribute the morose facial expressions to the fact that Darren Criss knows he should have extended his stint on Broadway rather than take part in this Very Very Special Episode.

So how did the God Squad deal with the news that Karofsky had tried to take his own life? Mercedes ordered an Edible Arrangement.

I guess Mercedes is back to dressing like it’s 1998?

Sam and Dreadlock Teen Jesus looked sad in grey.

And Quinn questioned how someone could ever get to a place where taking your own life was an option.

Oh Quinn, have some compassion! Sure you got knocked up during high school, but everyone still loved you! Or that’s what Kurt argued, but he’s a little bit wrong. Quinn’s parents did practically disown her after all. And she went through that weird punk phase. Now she’s back to cardigans and floral skirts. It’s a good look for her.

Here’s another cute sweater/skirt outfit on Quinn, and again Mercedes looks like she’s stepped straight out of the 90s in that shiny jacket.

Quinn doesn’t always look cute, though – sometimes the demure looks is way too over the top. In this navy dress she looks about 45 years old.

Speaking of mistakes, let’s take a look at Sugar. First there was this:

What is on her head? What is that? A bow made out of ground up $100 bills? And don’t even get me started on the Irish kid and all those Charlie Sheen shirts. Who told him that’s what Americans wear?

Here he is again, in a shirt that makes him look like the only place to shop in Ireland is a Goodwill circa 1957.

He’s eating peanut butter because that’s how Will decided to talk about teen suicide. Yes, there are still teachers at McKinley High!

Just keep telling yourself you’re getting through to them, Will...

Tina certainly looks like she understands.

Or perhaps she’s just lost in thought, wondering if Sugar was dropped on her head as a baby.

With all the talk of teen suicide, you’d think there’d have been more appearances from Emma, the school guidance counselor.

There she is, with apparently the only faculty at McKinley High, learning the news of Karofsky’s attempted suicide. And I’m pretty sure that was the only time we saw her. Was she too busy handing out pamphlets to stop Will from pulling that stupid peanut butter gag?

We couldn’t get a good look at her outfit, but the detailing on her blouse was divine.

Next, onto Regionals and Rachel’s wedding!

On My Way - Part 2 of 2 - Three Regionals Performances and a Wedding

Even though a local teenager tried to kill himself because of bullying, Regionals still went off as planned. Show choir stops for nothing!

First were The Warblers, who took donations for Lady Gaga’s charity. Sebastian tried to say it was because he felt guilty over being so mean to Karofsky, but you know it was just to impress the judges.

Smarmy, smarmy, smarmy. Hate.

Don’t you think The Warblers should get some bedazzled Dalton blazers for their competition performances? I do. Ever since Blaine left they’ve been lacking in the pizzazz department.

Next was...well, I don’t know what this was.

Let’s pretend that never happened, shall we?

And then there was New Directions.

LOVE the outfits. Gold lame bow-ties and suspenders on the boys, full-skirted dresses with gold and red accents on the girls? Sign me up! It’s too bad their performances didn’t measure up to their fashion. Normally I would love the Troubletones belting out a Kelly Clarkson song, but in this context singing “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” while executing cheeky dance moves was, to say the least, unsettling.

It didn’t matter. They still won. Yay? Oh, and this happened:

WTF?

When Rachel and Finn decided to celebrate the win with an ill-advised teen wedding, I began taking bets on whether they’d be divorced by Nationals. But before they could tie the knot, Quinn and Kurt had some things to take care of. For Kurt, that was offering comfort to his one time tormenter, Karofsky.

I have mixed feelings about the scene (a lovely thought I suppose, but it IS alright if you don’t want to be BFFs with your former bully), but my thoughts on the outfit are clear: It’s dreadful. Did he borrow that stiff collar from Tina?

Quinn’s mission was to rejoin the Cheerios and make amends with Rachel. Because you’re nothing if you’re not a cheerleader. And because not supporting a poorly thought out teen wedding makes you a bitch.

Meanwhile, Sue told Will that she’s pregnant. PREGNANT!

So I guess snarking on maternity Adidas tracksuits is in my future?

At the courthouse, all the parents in the Berry/Hummel/Hudson universe were panicking about the impending nuptials.

But at least they looked good doing it.

Alright, concerns about a couple of kids getting married aside, Rachel did look beautiful.

Classic, demure, breathtaking.

I just wish I could say the same about her bridesmaids.

The cut is OK, but that shade of pink reminds me of Pepto Bismol. Quinn would have been better off attending in her Cheerios uniform or, better yet, her Regionals dress. And then this wouldn’t have happened.

Yep, that’s a truck hitting Quinn’s car as she stupidly looks the other way while sending a text. DON’T TEXT AND DRIVE, KIDDIES! I mean, seriously, don’t – but there was really no need for Glee to jam that message down our throats in a painfully drawn out, obvious PSA disguised as a plotline.

And that’s a wrap til April, folks! What do you think? Is Quinn dead? Will she be buried in a floral dress and ankle boots?

Mini-Recap: On My Way

In a Very Very Special Episode of Glee, Karofsky attempts suicide and Quinn gets into a car accident while texting and driving. Sebastian the Warbler tried to deal with a guilty conscience because of cruel things he'd said to Karofsky and make up for being a d-bag, but too little too late. Will trivilizes depression by talking about how he was sad after cheating on a math test and by giving the Irish kid peanut butter for the first time (because Ireland doesn't have such fancy nut butters). New Directions surprises no one with a Regionals win, Quinn is back as a Cheerio, Sue is pregnant and being nice, and Rachel and Finn decide to live in the moment and bump up their wedding date. And that's what you missed on the ABC After School Special Glee!

Schue's Challenge: The focus was on Regionals this week, and the theme was "Inspiration".

Song of the Night: I wanted to say "Stronger", but in the context of this episode it was just uncomfortable. So I'll say Blaine singing "Cough Syrup".

Melodramatic Rachel  Solo of the Week:  She closed out Regionals (and led New Directions to a win) with her take on "Here's To Us" by Halestorm.

Goldblum Gold: "When the judge says, 'does anyone object', we'll all say 'we do' with feeeeeling." (seriously Goldblum. Never leave us). 

Brittany Bon Mot: "I want Lord Tubbington to kick his ecstacy addiction."

Outfit of the Week:  A mini-recap isn't enough space to cover my feelings on teenage weddings, but Rachel's dress was lovely and classic. It'd be even better if she were at least five years older.

Worst Outfit of the Week:  Kurt, I love you, but Imma need you to do something about those giant, stiff collars. Like the one you wore while visiting Karofsky. And no, loaning them to Tina isn't acceptable.

Tracksuit count:  3

Tune in Friday to see who Jill thinks wins the Regionals of style.