The First Time, Part 1 of 2: Red Hot Love

Episode Synopsis:  Love and love really is in the air this week at McKinley.  Everyone's either thinking about it, singing about it, or dare we say...doing it?  Oh, we dare!  With the school production of West Side Story looming, Rachel and Blaine are forced to do something about their lacking "passions".  Rachel acts like her usual self and puts her ambition in front of her relationship, while Blaine and Kurt get into a small tiff thanks to Blaine's not so secret admirer, Sebastian (who, for the record, I so do not like).  But all's well that ends well and not only is the play a hit, but our two power couples knock it out of the park as well (wink, wink).  It looks like Coach Bieste also found love this week with Hottie McHottie, Cooter.  How sweet!  Also sweet, no sight of Schuester's ooglay sweater vests, or Sue's track suits.  And that's what you missed on Glee!

This week's episode left me extremely underwhelmed.  There was hardly any singing, Brittany-isms were lacking, AND there were maybe three good outfits.  And when there were about a million different choices to pick from, that is pretty darn sad.

Quinn, I feel as sad as you look because this is the only outfit we saw you in this week (the play costume, while cute, doesn't count).  I think the reason for this is because you continue to chose to wear those god awful boots.  Don't think you slipped under the radar this week, I can see the tops of them peeking out from under the desk.  Regardless, I still love your butterfly dress with shrug.  The dress fits you like perfection, your hair is still cute and sassy, and even though you're frowning, you still look pretty.  Now, just get rid of the boots!

This was my favorite outfit of Rachel's.  It's unfortunate she didn't come out from behind the desk.  She's totes channeling Madeleine, the little Parisian girl who is always getting into trouble.  I love this grey dress with red buttons and matching red beret.  And her bangs don't even look half bad.  Très chic!

I also really think that I would like this outfit a lot if only I could see the whole thing.  But I'm digging the colors and the pattern. 

Work it girl, work it!  Santana definitely has the va-va-voom factor.  Smokin' hot in this red dress, and look how well it twirls!  I would so love to play dress up and dance around my room in that!  Unfortunately, I can't say that I'm digging the hair. I get it's the style for her character, but I think they could have made it a little more flattering.

But here, Santana's hair looks lovely while still being period-appropriate.  Rachel also has great locks, although I absolutely hate her dress and those hideous stockings...but the hair!  It's enough to make me forget about the dress.  Kind of.  OK, no, not enough. 

Santana and Puck are so stinking hot, they just need to go make babies and the make the world a more beautiful place.  Really.  Go.  Now.

Puck always looks yum, but with this black suit and red shirt he looks so spiffy I didn't even notice how atrocious his accent was.  He just made my heart go a flutter and my knees go weak.

Ahhh!  I don't know what's worse: Tina trying to wear color, or Tina dressing like Wednesday Addams.  Both are just so equivocally wrong.  Her wardrobe should never be presented to society.  And my biggest question is, what is up with her collars?  Does she just have one oversized white collar that she wears as a necklace with every single dress or shirt she owns?  I'm so sorry that I have to be showing you this, but just think of it as a lesson in what not to wear. 

OK but whoa, look at this!  Tina's hair is gorge!  The perfect curl, the rose by her ear!  I LOVE it!  She looks so pretty!  Do I have enough exclamation points?  I just can't get over that I am actually excited by something Tina is wearing! Must dispatch more exclamation points!  !!!!!!!

All I have to say is, thank god for Emma.  In a school where no one knows when to take off their construction boots, or dress for the appropriate season, or not wear the same argyle sweater vest every day, Emma is able to provide some pep and fashion savvy-ness.  Thank.  The.  Lord she has yet to be influenced by everyone else's poor sartorial choices.  Here she is absolutely blossoming in this floral print dress.  The colors are great on her and it fits her perfectly. 

Blaine looks like he just walked out of a Ralph Lauren catalogue here.  I love it.  Though it does look a little too similar to his Dalton Academy uniform.  Is he perhaps having second thoughts about leaving? 

Of course he's not, because he has Kurt and the two of them make everyone else look like the scum between Alfalfa's toes.  Honestly, they are just so swoon-worthy from the way they dress to how perfect they are for each other.  Le sigh.

Hands down one of my favorite outfits this week.  Maybe even my favorite outfit.  Kurt looks so sophisticated, so chic, so absolutely awesome!  I am in love with his jeans, and the vest and white shirt combo.  Oh Kurt, pretty please with a cherry on top, can we be best friends?

You know, not only can these guys sing and dance until the cows come home, but they also look pretty sharp!  Work it, boys!

The First Time, Part 2 of 2: Cold as Ice

This episode was pretty much the Rachel and Blaine show, which I normally wouldn't complain too much about, but this week there was too much bad(da) and not enough bing.  

Please answer me this, why does no one at McKinley ever dress appropriately for the season we are in?  Seriously, they're in Ohio and we're on the verge of winter.  Why is Rachel wearing a bright yellow summer dress?  I mean don't get me wrong, I love the color it looks great on her as does the dress, but it's so not appropriate for the season!  And Blaine, just because you're at McKinley now does not mean that you have to start dressing like Schue.  Yes, you look a lot better in the sweater vest than Schue does, but you shouldn't make it a habit. 

The hills are alive with the sound of music...

Yes, Rachel, this is what happens when you let Artie pick out your clothes.

OK, will you totally judge me if I say that I think this is so hideous it's actually kind of cute?  I'd probably judge me.  Humor me.  I would never wear this out in public, but Rachel can actually pull it off quite well.

There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home.  Gosh I wish the good witch of McKinley (Emma) could make those shoes go home.

This dress looks like Rachel pulled it off one of her dollies from home.  If Rachel is highly considering going off to college next year, she needs to learn to stop dressing like she's in kindergarten.

I went back and forth on Rachel's 'get lucky' dress.  But in the end I decided I really liked the material and was a big fan of the black lace on the collar.  It obviously fits her well (because lets be honest, what doesn't look good on Lea Michele) and the color is flattering.  Too bad it didn't bring her much luck.

I think it's because the dress was longer than the Nile and she had those unfortunate white knee highs on. 

 

Little Red Riding Hood?  Why does she insist on wearing white socks with her ballet flats?  Why?!  There is nothing I like about this outfit.  Rachel darling, you're lucky Finn has such a poor fashion sense or else you wouldn't be getting so lucky.

Me-ow, easy tiger!  How many cats did Kurt have to skin for this outfit?  I really wish Blaine would have tried to rip off all Kurt's clothes. 

I actually think if he just would have went with the tie I would have really liked it, but since he paired it with five other different felines, my eyes are on overload.

Thank goodness he decided to change into this much more acceptable ensemble before going to the gay bar.  Even in that surrounding I think he would have been made into kitty litter with his previous outfit.

I don't think I hate the maroon pants and henley t-shirt look here, but I definitely don't love it.  And he looks a lot like Greg Brady, which I don't think is a positive, as much as I love the Brady family.

Um excuse me Blaine, what happened to the rest of your pants?  And are you auditioning for the new Mr. Rogers?

No, really.  What happened to the rest of your pants?  Is Ohio also a major flood zone?  Is that why you've had your hems snatched on all your pants?

Aside from the too-short pants, I'm digging this disheveled look Blaine's got going on.  He looks rugged and sexy, even if he is a Schuester in training.

Let's play a game.  Can you please identify this Glee character by only looking at his or her legs? 

Where are the rest of your pants?!  You're making me shake my fists at the fashion gods.  How can they let something like this be allowed in public?! 

If you guessed Blaine, you are correct.  He does look super cute though, almost enough to forgive and forget.  I said almost.

Ah... it looks like a 96 pack of crayons threw up onto an innocent pile of yarn.  That poor, unfortunate yarn, it had no idea what was to become of its fate.  Such a waste of material.  In this economy we just can't stand to waste precious material on such monstrosities as this.  We should start a campaign for an end to wasting material on such ugly sweaters that even a fashion-less grandpa wouldn't be caught dead in. 

 

I love Emma's outfit here, from her white and black polka dotted scarf all the way down to her t-strap pumps.  Not even Artie's throw-up sweater can distract me from Emma's A+ outfit.

I must say, Mike cleans up very nicely.  I'm so glad he decided to go against his dad's wishes and follow his passion.  Quinn and Brittany actually don't look half bad in their costumes, and I like the red lipstick on both of them.

If Quinn wore her hair curly like this all the time, I would like it short a lot more.  As for Brittany, she needs to start wearing her hair down more often.  And I actually like her light blue dress.  I don't think I'd find myself wearing it to any parties any time soon, but I wouldn't trash it if someone else showed up at the party wearing it. 

Or at least, I wouldn't trash it within ear shot.

Mini-Recap: The First Time

To do it or not to do it, that is the question. Artie convinces Rachel and Blaine they should have sex (no, not with each other) if they're going to convince anyone they've got passion. Mike gets disowned for dancing in public. Finn isn't going to play football for Ohio State (does he even watch football? I don't and I could have told him the scout wasn't going to be calling). Kurt and Blaine hit the local gay bar with a new Warbler - who likes to make sexy eyes at Blaine - and run into Karofsky. Coach Bieste finds a man who thinks she's woman enough for him. And the answer to the big question? Do it.

Song of the Night: Once we got past the horrible accents, I really dug "America". 

Brittany Bon Mots: I lost my virginity at cheerleader camp. He climbed in my tent. Alien invasion."

Melodramatic Rachel Solo: Her half of 'Tonight'. The song just didn't fit her vocal range. 

Outfit of the Week: I would give it to Quinn for her butterfly print dress, but I'm sure she ruined it with ugly boots. So it goes to Kurt for all his layers, like a leopard print cardigan with a leopard print tie. Or maybe Blaine for being over the top preppy. Loafers with plaid flood pants and a cardigan and bowtie? 

Worst Outfit of the Week: While Rachel dresses like the 60s in all the wrong ways, it's Tina's retro inspiration that's killing me. I like her in colour, but enough with the polyester and those collars already!

Tracksuit count: 0

Tune in on Friday for the full recap by Lauren!