Born This Way - Part 1 of 4 - Faculty

Episode Synopsis: Finn (accidentally) breaks Rachel’s nose, and she considers taking the opportunity to replace it with Quinn’s more delicate nose. But Quinn has a secret – she wasn’t born with that nose either. Kurt makes a triumphant return to McKinley High (finally!) just in time to see almost everyone battle it out for Prom King & Queen. And Emma sought treatment for her OCD, which inspired Schue to once again teach all the kids a lesson using – what else? – the gospel of Lady Gaga.

Something was missing from this episode, no? Something athletic…something striped.  Yes, there was no Sue Sylvester in this extra-long episode of Glee. But you know what? I can do without the parade of Adidas tracksuits if it means getting to see lots of adorable Emma Pillsbury outfits. Like this one:

Classic Emma - an embellished sweater and latex gloves. But personally, I much prefer this pineapple-adorned sweater. I wonder if she cleaned this sweater as meticulously as she disinfects her real fruit?

For her trip to the shrink, Emma wore this adorable red bow cardigan with a green skirt. I love both pieces individually, but I’m not sure I’m sold on them as an outfit. It’s not Christmas, and even if it were, it wouldn’t be OK.

 

As for Will, he started out rocky. Is he sitting on a piano there? Why does that make me feel uncomfortable? Oh yeah, because I’m worried he’ll start rolling around on it any second as he inappropriately serenades his students. He didn’t, but that didn’t make me like this shirt/vest combo any better.

I do like this sweater, though. It compliments his butt chin, don’t you think?

Here, Will and Emma both look great. I love Emma’s yellow jacket, and the red T-strap shoes work perfectly. Will looks dashing in his plaid shirt and tie, although I wish he’d go for a darker wash jean. And maybe some different shoes.

 

Born This Way - Part 2 of 4 - Boys

Thank grilled cheesus, because Kurt Hummel has returned to McKinley High. Dalton Academy seems nice and everything, but the uniforms? Yawn. Kurt needs to express himself, and he cannot do so whilst wearing the same blazer as everyone else.

As dashing as those boys look, it gets a bit dull week after week. Also, where’d McKinley High get a piano? Outdoors? You’re a disadvantaged school in Ohio! This should not be happening! But I can accept that fantasy in exchange for swooning over Blaine while he publicly serenades Kurt with "Somewhere Only We Know". Bliss.

Before returning to McKinley, Kurt had to know he’d be safe. So for a meeting with parents, faculty, and public enemy number one Karofsky, he wore this number:

This is what we’ve been missing while Kurt’s been warbling away at Dalton. Plaid riding pants! A red bowtie! Some sort of weird chain! (Is it for a pocket watch? If so, awesome.) And this outfit was only the first in a string of spectacular outfits that marked the return of Kurt:

Genius. After all, if you can wear a top hat to your small town high school and not get bullied, then you just aren’t going to get bullied. The jacket is spectacular. To celebrate his return, Kurt absolutely slayed his Sunset Boulevard number, and rocked this bizarre little outfit:

Yes, he’s wearing keys around his neck. And yes, it’s awesome. Only Kurt could pull off an outfit like this, complete with the white Doc Martins. But I think my favorite outfit of all was this one:

If only the Mall of America were in Ohio instead of Minnesota. So patriotic! So bright! So distinct! The other boys from glee club could learn from his example.

Now, I don’t expect everyone to dress as outlandishly as Kurt. That would be too much to handle. But must they wear so much plaid? Come on, fellas, mix it up a little. (You’ve got to love Brittany’s romper and wool hat, though. So kooky.)

Luckily, Mike Chang at least makes some attempt at not looking like a lumberjack 24/7.

 

I love the vest and hat with the green T-shirt and sneakers. The rest of you boys, though? Pick up the slack.

Born This Way - Part 3 of 4 - Girls

The girls of Glee hit some highs and lows on the fashion front this week. These outfits were cute:

But why so glum, girls? Shouldn’t Brittany’s hat or Santana’s smokin’ jacket put a smile on your faces?

And here’s Rachel, looking just as down:

 

Rachel. You’re wearing a miniskirt, knee socks and penny loafers. This is your go-to teenage toddler outfit. So what if you have a broken nose and you’re feeling so damn unpretty? Your outfit is super-cute, and that’s what really matters! (That is the lesson Lady Gaga taught us all, right?). And look, Brittany’s wearing my favourite floppy red hat - another reason to smile!

Speaking of Brittany, she really brought it this week. I think this outfit was my favourite:

It takes a smashing body like Brittany’s to pull off high-waisted white pants, no? I love the suspenders and polka-dot shirt. And man, can this girl rock a hat.

Now she has a black version of my favourite hat.

I must get one of those!

Now, I’m usually not a fan of fur vests, but Brittany makes this one look adorable:

Look, everyone is smiling! Maybe it’s because Artie is finally wearing a tolerable sweater vest. I really love Quinn’s striped dress. All kinds of adorable.

Unfortunately, she probably ruined it with fugly ankle boots, which lately she’s insisted on wearing with EVERYTHING.

That skirt is gorgeous, and the whole outfit is nicely put together - until you see her feet, which are inexplicably outfitted in hiking boots and tube socks. Why? Why is this Quinn’s favourite way to accessorize a pretty floral dress? She looks great when you can’t see her feet.

I love the neckline on that dress. And she looks great in this fedora and floral scarf:

When she sang with Rachel, Quinn looked beautiful again - but I bet she still had awful footwear on. Can someone introduce this girl to a nice wedge? Or at least a better style of boot?

Rachel had some nice moments this week, despite her busted up nose. I loved the dress/cardigan combo she wore to sing with Quinn - even if it was sort of reminiscent of Quinn’s own style. Rachel, I don’t mind if you copy Quinn’s nose as long as you don’t trade in your penny loafers for ankle boots. Mmmkay?

 

At her Barbravention, Rachel wore a classic look - a cute top and skirt paired with tights and flats.

Now, someone who doesn’t have quite as consistent of a style is Santana. Take, for example, this look:

A fur vest AND hat? What would possess someone to wear this? Obviously she’s not chilly, because she’s not wearing any sleeves. She looks like a really angry animal.

Her ensemble for her "date" with Karofsky was not much better.

Look, Santana. I’m totes on board with the lesbian thing. I encourage you to rock it because, like Brittany, I think you’re awesome. But if you insist on staying in the closet for now, fringed leather vests cannot be your friend. Save them for junior college and stick to wearing things like this:

The animal print top, the hot pink skirt, the amazing tuxedo jacket - I love everything about this outfit. It screams "Look at me, I’m way hotter than you!". Yet, despite my love for this look, I still think this one is Santana’s best yet:

The jacket is kind of cute, but we’ve seen Mercedes rock this look a million times before. It’s time for her to expand her horizons a little. Unfortunately, there is a worse offender.

Lauren Zizes.

Mixing plaid and stripes? A T-shirt with a skull on it? Come on, girl. We can do better.

This is a little better, but not by much.

This last outfit might be the least horrendous.

I like what she’s done with her hair here, and the lipstick is nice. But stripes and a floral pattern on one top? How about just flowers next time? If that top was plain black with the flowers, I think I’d be able to handle it.

The worst fashion offenders from the whole hour and a half long episode, though, were these girls.

Who are these girls? Where did they come from? Have we seen them on Glee before? Why didn’t I notice them? Why are they dressed the same? So. Many. Questions. For realsies, though, they’re weird. You’re supposed to stop coordinating outfits with your BFFs when you hit the double digits, not well into high school. And who exactly are they emulating? Not Quinn. Not Santana. Is someone from Big Love running for prom queen? Why are they dressed like sister wives?

If this keeps up, Emma Pillsbury might need to stage a fashion intervention at McKinley High.

Born This Way - Part 4 of 4 - T-Shirts

Since Glee was supersized this week, I’m adding a bonus round - a look at all the T-shirts the New Directions gang wore! After all, seeing what everyone put on their shirts was the best part of "Born This Way". When Will first introduced the exercise (which was incredibly reminiscent of America’s Next Top Model, don’t you think?) he asked Emma to participate, but ended up being a bit disappointed.

Apparently Emma considered her red hair to be a more difficult trait to accept than her OCD. You can’t blame her, though - there is such a thing as "Kick a Ginger Day." That can’t be easy.

The cleverest shirts were courtesy of Brittany and Puck, though.

So appropriate. Kurt’s shirt was fun, and I really like what’s been going on with his hair lately. So high fashion.

 

Meanwhile Rachel embraced her nose, Will embraced his butt chin (I really expected him to go with "over-gelled hair" or "can’t rap", but this worked) and Mercedes channelled Tyra and embraced her natural hair.

 

The rest of the boys were pretty predictable.

After downing an anti-anxiety pill, Emma managed to own her illness. Plus she wore an adorable polka-dot skirt!

 

My favourite T-shirt, though, was the one Brittany made for Santana. Sure, Santana’s original T-shirt (which said "Bitch") suited her well. And this one didn’t make much sense, since Santana is Hispanic and Brittany meant to spell lesbian. But I was glad she wore it. I just wish she’d danced with Brittany.

Mini-Recap: Born this way

Here's what you missed on Glee: Finn breaks Rachel's nose, and a doctor convinces her that all 16 year old Jewish girls should get a nose job. Puck and Kurt then stage a Barbravention. Quinn has an ugly past, but it was nothing some sports and a nose job couldn't fix. Lauren thought she could win Prom Queen by being mean, and Santana made a deal with the devil (Karofsky) in a bid to win Prom Queen. She keeps his secret and he stops bullying. Which means Kurt is back and he's back in serious style.

Song of the Night: Kurt brought it hard with "As if we never said goodbye" from Sunset Boulevard

Brittany Bon Mots: Because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?

How Sue Santana Sees It: It was all Santana tonight. My favourite line? "I'm a closet lesbian AND a judgmental bitch, which means one thing: I have awesome gaydar."

Melodramatic Rachel Solo Duet of the Week: Rachel on TLC's "Unpretty" mashed up with Quinn on "I Feel Pretty".

Best Outfit: Quinn had some adorable dresses and Emma wore a cute cardigan with a pineapple on it, but my favourite was Kurt in plaid pants, a vest, bowtie and accessorized with dainty tailor's scissors on a chain. He may have even worn riding boots.

Tune back in on Friday for Jill's full recap. She's got a full hour and a half of fashion to recap.