I Am Unicorn - Part 1 of 3 - This One Time at Dance Camp...

Episode Synopsis: The New Directions’ stage smiles are about to crack because it’s audition season at McKinley High.  Mr. Schuester bequeathed the direction of the musical to Artie, Bieste, and Emma so he could fox trot with his newly formed Booty Camp.  Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine all nail their solos for West Side Story try outs and as if Kurt didn’t have enough on his plate (what with vying for the lead and trying not to break his neck on his homemade jungle gym) he’s decided to audition for another role: senior class president.  And in a largely foreseen (but still dramatic) twist, Shelby Corcoran returns to Lima with baby Beth and lots of purple clothes in tow, hoping that Puck and Quinn will be a part of their baby’s life.  That is, until she sees Franken-Quinn in all of her unwashed, 90s grunge, Smells-Like-Teen-Spirit-esque glory.  And in a not-so-foreseen twist, Quinn returns to normal to convince everyone that she’s perfect for the role of Beth’s mother.  And that’s what you missed on Glee! 

Mr. Schue announces that he’s forming a dance boot camp, aptly named Booty Camp, in order to really whip some of the New Directions into shape for this year’s competitions.  You know what else he needs to whip into shape?  His color palette.  That brown jacket with the gray shirt and gray plaid tie is a monstrosity

Okay, he’s back in his vest.  Phew.  I know most people aren’t fans of his vests, but I kind of dig them.

Booty Camp largely consists of him and Mike showing off—sometimes in slow motion to really rub it in their faces—and then teaching everyone else how to step to the left in tandem with the rest of the group.  This is probably why he needs to wear loose, comfortable clothes from Old Navy.    

YAWN.  I’ll bet you’re wishing there was a vest in this picture now, huh? 

Wish granted.

His not-so-happy campers have decided to use their clothing to express their boredom (Finn and Puck), muscles (Mike), and love for garments found on the boardwalk. Yes, Mercedes, I am talking about you.  Seriously?  A strategically ripped t-shirt with your name spray-painted on the front?.  

As usual, though, I can’t find fault in Kurt and Blaine’s choice of dancewear.  I love that Kurt’s sweater has little bow-tie tassels!  It really is all in the details.  

I Am Unicorn - Part 2 of 3 - The X Factor

Since he’ll have his hands full with Dancing with the New Directions, Mr. Schue left the direction of the musical to Beiste and his ladybird, Emma.  Polos and gym shorts are to Beiste are like what tracksuits are to Sue—what you see is what you’ll get…Sunday-Saturday.  24/7. 

Thankfully, Emma isn’t plagued by that sort of hideous monotony.  I loved her flower sweater at first glance but after staring at it for a while, I can’t help but think that the leaves on the stem vaguely resemble a bra left behind in a dryer that was set on the heavy cycle.  But I do adore those t-strap heels! 

Mr. Schue also decides to make Artie the musical’s student director.  But budding Spielberg or not, those grandpa vests are not doing him any favors.  I do love Rachel’s red, white, blue dress—so preppy and nautical!  And be still, my heart.  Tina’s wearing yellow.  Like, real yellow.  Not an I-wore-my-white-Pilgrim-shirt-so-often-that-it’s-dingy-and-gross-now-yellow, but like a bona fide ROYGBIV yellow. That's color in two different episodes!

As another loyal fan to colors, Emma dons what I’m sure is a way cute sweater that I want for myself.  Artie and Beiste…well.  There they are. 

Emma’s top looks so promising with the stripes and bow at the neckline!  I only wish there was a better shot of it.  And at least Artie switched things up a little with an Aztec-inspired sweater.  

All right, I can only say Emma’s clothes are cute so many times before wanting to abandon this post to go shopping, so just admire it. Study it. Memorize it. And please tell me where I can get one once you’ve figured out where it’s from.

Kurt’s assignment notebook must be full to bursting by now: “Monday morning: agree that Brittany will be my campaign manager.  Adjust sweet birds brooch and remind self never to wear this red-orange and green combo again.”

“Tuesday night: meet with Brit to go over campaign posters.  No time to do hair, wear random captain’s hat.”

I’m sorry; I had to.  She’s wearing a unicorn headband.  With a tail...!!

Generally, Kurt can do no wrong in my eyes.  In this case, however, I would have strongly advised him that if he wants the role of ultra-masculine gang leader, a Streisand song may not be the best choice…and neither would the floral scarf.  Kurt, you’re auditioning for Tony, not Anita.  

You know what else I wouldn’t do if I wanted to present myself as super macho?  Wear feathers in my hair and recite lines from a Shakespearean play.  Only these two would get into full costume for a re-audition.

I really hope there’s more to this outfit that we just didn’t get to see because this look is mildly reminiscent of an ice dancer.  

All right, much better.  We’re back on track.  I love that he’s not afraid of ruffles and that jacket is so slick and cozy looking at the same time. 

Only Kurt (and maybe Mercedes) could make a studded jacket look fabulous.  But, I think when you unleash your inner unicorn, you can make just about anything look fabulous. 

In the midst of his audition and campaign woes, Kurt has to wrestle with the possibility that Blaine might steal the lead from him.   He may also steal the Best Dressed Man on Glee title—how adorable is he?  The whole thing is charming from the slightly askew bowtie, to the suspenders, and to his perpetually perfect coif.  

But Blaine, being the amazing BF that he is, decides not to audition for the lead. What a sweetheart. A sweetheart with a killer sense of style. His audition outfit is perfection and I like that he’s rocking ankle pants.  Bravo!

Rachel…well, when doesn’t she sing dramatic solos on stage in front of people?  Just another day in the life.   I am, though, a huge fan of this dress.  From the pale pink, to the little bow belt, to the delicate buttons down the bodice, and her curly hair—it’s just so sweet and feminine.  

Speaking of which, it’s hard to get more feminine than flowers and while I like this dress, I find it too summery for this time of year. 

But at least she’s not wearing knee socks.  Oh, #%$@.  I jinxed it, didn’t I?

I Am Unicorn - Part 3 of 3 - Baby Blues

Shelby Corcoran makes her return to Ohio when Sugar Motta basically buys her own glee club and hires Shelby as the director.  As annoying as Sugar is, she does have some cute clothes. You can hardly go wrong with a navy blazer.  

I’ve always liked pairing tan with a dark evergreen—it’s so fall.  Except, we could do without the white shirt tied at her navel. 

 

Knowing that Sugar’s a lost cause, Shelby focuses on her baby and her wardrobe.  Well, more so her baby because she must have forgotten that she wore purple the day before.  And the day before that. But at least they’re all great outfits.  Especially that deep mulberry dress she wears when she sings her duet with Rachel.  Gorgeous.

And, to her credit, she does mix things up with a very nice dark teal blouse and pencil skirt.  Very profesh.  Or perhaps Beth spat up on everything else?

Now, who would have thought a year ago that Puck would be better company for an infant than Quinn?  Takes one to know one, I guess.   Obviously, his shirt isn’t exciting, but is it just me or does his mohawk look really fake?   

While Puck’s off making nice with his daughter, Sue enlists Quinn to star in her smear campaign against the arts.  I am really loving her hot pink suit, though.    

 
Okay, everyone, I figured it out.  Quinn and Tina totally switched places over the summer.  Or closets.  Because first all the colorful dresses on Tina and now the uniform black gothic wear on Quinn?  Coincidence?  

Fortunately, there was a breakthrough.  Talk about a one-eighty.  It’s literally a night and day difference.  Not my favorite dress (it's a bit too Little House on the Prairie for me) but a vast, huge, massive improvement. And she looks adorable with short hair!  

 

Fine, so it wasn’t a real breakthrough because we find out that Quinn got it into her head that she’s going to get full custody of Beth.  I’m sorry, excuse me?  That has to be the most harebrained idea ever.  But I guess that’s what happens when you smoke cornstarch in a pipe.  

Mini Recap: I am Unicorn

Here's what you missed on Glee: Brittany and Kurt learn a valuable lesson - they're both unicorns (and that unicorns are ponies who did a good deed). Shelby is back to create a rival glee club for Sugar Motta and to dangle Quinn's baby in her face as bait to turn her back into a good girl. Auditions have started for West Side Story and while Kurt may be a unicorn, he may not be the kind of leading man he wants to be. Everyone else is working on their dance moves. 

Song of the Night: It's a toss up between Kurt on 'I'm the Greatest Star' and Blaine on 'Something Coming.' They really are the perfect couple. 

Brittany Bon Mots: Swag bags called Kurt Hummel's bulging pink fun sack. 

Melodramatic Rachel Solo:  Somewhere There's a Place for Us. Okay, great song. But still so over the top. 

Outfit of the Week: Definitely not the pink dress Rachel wore for her number - so plain! (yeah, I'm hard on Rachel tonight). I can't decide between Kurt's green hunting style jacket with the geese or the striped top with the sailor cap. He does themed outfits so well.

Tracksuit count: 3

Come back on Friday for the full recap by Kristina. 

The Purple Piano Project - Part One of Two - Pitch Perfect

Episode Synopsis: Glee is back, and some of the gang will be graduating at the end of the year – Rachel, Kurt, Finn and Mike, to be exact. Some couples broke up over the summer (Mercedes and Sam are kaput now that he moved out of Ohio, and Lauren kicked Puck to the curb when she quit New Directions) but love is still blossoming for Rachel and Finn, Kurt and Blaine, and Will and Emma...but there are still some hurdles to be conquered (sex) in that relationship. Quinn’s having an identity crisis and quit glee club (and, apparently, showering) and Santana was kicked out when she set a piano on fire as per Sue’s orders. So even though Blaine transferred to McKinley and is officially a member of New Directions, they’re down a few members! And, that’s what you missed on Glee.

After a dramatic summer both on and off the screen (way to be a diva, Ryan Murphy), Glee is back and there’s plenty of fashion to talk about from the season premiere. It looks like the romance really heated up between Will and Emma over the summer, and while they might not be doing anything more than sleeping (literally) together, the good news is that this provides an opportunity to see Emma Pillsbury in multiple adorable nightgowns.

The bad news is that we all had to hear Will Schuester say “Guess who woke up just before I did?” Barf.

Will and Emma are off the charts in the cute department, though. They look great and even make each other’s lunches.

I love that pink skirt and top combo on Emma.

Later in the episode, she sported a few cute, bright sweaters.

Will’s been dressing really well (only one vest, and he totally rocked it!), but he’s still prone to kind of being a douche once in a while. I mean, riding into the choir room on a piano? Really?

Yeah. That happened.

Will and Emma are well-dressed, but they’re not the best dressed couple at McKinley. That honor goes to Kurt and Blaine. Kurt looks super cute as he passive aggressively begs Blaine to ditch the blazer in favor of New Directions.

Luckily for us, Blaine decided to transfer. Romantic and fashionable! His debut outfit was a hipster dream.

It takes a special guy to pull together a bowtie, cropped red pants and neon yellow Wayfarers. Blaine is that guy.

Just look how cute they are together! Kurt’s sweater-scarf thing was confusing, but cool.

The boys can go the preppy route, too.

But while we’re talking about fashionable duos, let’s talk about Kurt and Rachel. Now that they’ve made their big, shiny New York plans they’re BFFs and they couldn’t be cuter. I couldn’t get a good look at their first day of school outfits, but I like the stripes I see on Rachel.

The moment of the night was when they sang “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead”. Seriously, I don’t think Rachel’s ever been more charming and fun, and their outfits were to die for.

So. Effin’. Cute.

And look at them during Blaine’s performance!

We didn’t get to see Rachel in that outfit for long, but it was amazing. I have gots to get myself some knee socks and a beret.

I didn’t care so much for Kurt and Rachel’s outfits when they attended the NYADA mixer. I mean, they looked OK – the plaid dress Rachel had on under that cape was cute – but they can do better and they should have been dressing to impress.

One of Rachel’s best looks was the beautiful cream top, skirt and black belt she donned during the glee club’s “impromptu” (i.e. totally planned) performance of “We Got The Beat”. Gorgeous.

Now, while Sugar Motta might have fallen flat in her New Directions audition (though her enthusiasm was great), her outfit hit just the right chord – sexy, but not slutty. I loved her striped blazer.

Her outfit was definitely better than her singing abilities or her personality, but I might have to borrow her self-diagnosed Aspergers trick next time I’m tempted to drop a truth bomb on someone.

The rest of the glee kids were kind of hit and miss – I mean, anyone would pale in comparison to Kurt, but Mike Chang looked decent.

I don’t really love Mike’s green golf shirt below, but the suspenders are cool. Still, though, the group’s getting outshined by Rachel and Kurt in their sweet plaid ensembles. I dig what Tina’s got going on here (she FINALLY discovered color!) but I’m pretty sure she ruined it with clunky boots.

The gang looked fantastic for the final number of the episode, “You Can’t Stop The Beat”, in their purple outfits.

Rachel looks the best, I think, in that amazing purple and white dress. I love Tina’s 60s inspired dress, but again, she’s ruined it with clunky boots and ugly socks. Brittany’s romper and boots are totally cute and suit her quirky style. The only misfire is Mercedes – she said she was feeling particularly pretty this year, so could girlfriend please manage to throw on something other than jeans and a T-shirt? And with that, let’s discuss those who didn’t quite hit the fashion high notes.