The End - Part 1 of 1 - Bye Bye, Bros

That’s a wrap, folks. The eighth and final season of Entourage concluded on Sunday night and the boys were all left with happily ever after endings…unless they end up doing a movie, but I’d rather leave things here, wouldn’t you?

When the episode started, we saw Vince just getting back from a 24-hour long date with Sophia. Since we didn’t actually get to see them together, you’ll just have to take Vince’s word for it and know it was amazing.

See that face? That’s the face of a guy who’s in love.

See these faces? These are the faces of men who just found out their best friend is marrying a woman he’s only know for a few hours.

Yeah. Their clothes might say “casual Saturday morning brunch”, but their faces say “WTF?”

You know who wasn’t glowing with the warmth of new love? Ari. He looked like a hobo who scored a nice suit at the Goodwill. (And yet, unshaven and disheveled, Ari still managed to look better than E did all season.)

Oh hi, Babs. Nice necklace.

Then, just to make things worse, Mrs. Ari showed up. In this.

What is going on here? Did Bobby Flay lose control of his cleaver and accidentally slice your dress open? Did the store not sell it in your size and it ripped open? What is going on?

Meanwhile, E decided to pack up and move to New York to be with Sloan and the baby. I’d forgive the ratty Yankees T-shirt since he’s just there to collect his belongings, but this is how E dressed all season. Vince looks nice though.

The boys must have realized that E was miserable without Sloan (I mean, it was obvious – why else would he continue to dress like a bum?) so Turtle and Drama paid her a visit. I guess now that Sloan is preggers, she’s dressing like a hippie. Enjoy the cute high-waisted jeans and breezy crop-top while you can, missy.

So Vince is getting married, and that means a big shiny ring. Better get the Rachel Zoe seal of approval on it! Because if I were going to take fashion advice from someone, it would be the woman who had The Littlest Hobo turned into a jacket.

Yeah, that measly 5.4 carat rock isn’t going to cut it. Ms. Zoe saw a bigger, sparklier, more expensive one in the window.

“It’s not about the money, she’s wearing this forever. I mean, hopefully.” These were Rachel Zoe’s words of advice to Vince after recommending he purchase a $1.4 million ring. Come on, Rach – this is Entourage, no one ever thinks about money! (What season was it where Vince went broke and had to sing at a sweet sixteen birthday party? Did he recover from that? Who can keep track?)

In the middle of ring shopping, Vince took a call from Sloan’s daddy. Classic goofy Vince, trying to make things better and only making them worse – Sloan hadn’t ‘fessed up about having a bun in the oven yet. Whoopsies! But wouldn’t any father feel better getting that news from Aquaman?

He looks pretty pissed, so I guess not. But nice shirt and tie! You know, in an old white man kind of way. Too bad Terrence’s sense of style didn’t rub off on E a little before they parted ways.

Speaking of fashion sense rubbing off, look at Sarah Gold in this cute purple dress.

She must have inherited her daddy’s good taste in clothes, because…well, do I need to remind you of how Mrs. Ari has been dressing lately?

Big news! Ari quit his job. It was a big exit too, with very dramatic teen opera music blasting. Lloyd looks shocked.

Oh Lloyd, I’ll miss you most of all. That shirt/tie combination is to die for.

After breaking Sloan’s baby (and even worse, baby daddy) news to Papa Sloan, Vince had to pay her a visit and make things right. Thank God his speeches are more effective than his wardrobe, because nothing’s more wrong than that T-shirt.

Sloan gets a pass this round since she’s wearing a bathrobe.

The big moment of the finale came when Ari showed up and pleaded for his wife to take him back. Thankfully, he managed to shave for the occasion. Unfortunately, Mrs. Ari was still in that dress.

I mean, come on! It’s like the white swan was attacked by the black swan. Oh well. They got back together, so I guess I should cut her a break.

Awwww.

Oh sorry, did you think the “awwww” was for the Mr. & Mrs. Ari reunion? Hell no! I got choked up when Lloyd showed up and Ari told him it was his time to shine.

Oh. My. God. There’s a cutout in the back of Mrs. Ari’s dress, too. Is it too late to still keep my fingers crossed for Ari and Dana Gordon?

OK, time for the boys to jet off to Paris for Vince’s totally plausible impromptu wedding.

Drama, you are going to the fashion capital of the world, not a Jimmy Buffett concert. What the heck are you wearing? At least E dressed up for the occasion, sort of. I mean, he looks better than a typical day at the office.

Speaking of the office, how awkward was Scott’s visit?

He said he didn’t want to go to Vince’s wedding because it seemed like a family thing, but we all know he was just feeling embarrassed about his hair. You can’t go to Paris looking like a blond Danny Zuko.

But guess who is coming to the wedding? Mr. & Mrs. Ari!

Thank God that awful dress was white, so she couldn’t wear it to the wedding. This is much more appropriate. Ari looks lovely too.

What a good looking group! Or it would be, if I’d cropped the photo to eliminate Scott. And Drama. And if you squint your eyes so that you can’t tell that E forgot to shave, and therefore looks a bit like a homeless leprechaun. OK, maybe just leave in Ari, Mrs. Ari, and Vince’s soon-to-be wife. I mean, she looks gorgeous.

Speaking of gorgeous, cue an appearance from Sloan!

After all, this wouldn’t be Entourage if everything wasn’t wrapped up with a tidy little bow. Of course E and Sloan had to ignore their many, many problems and get back together. Anyway. Love the orange dress, Sloansie. Hope ya never find out that E and Melinda actually did do the nasty. Possibly more than once.

If you thought that was the end, you were wrong – like they’d let Drama have the final say, right? Ari and his wife were relaxing in Italy, just like he’d promised…

Melissa is going to end up with some unfortunate tan lines, but she is smokin’ hot.

I mean, look:

But then Ari got a call from this man. Do we remember who he is? John? He looks like Terrence, but let’s face it – pretty much all old, rich, white men look the same.

Anyway, he offered Ari his job – which I thought was being CEO of a studio, but he also mentioned something about being God. Or having as much money as God? Who knows.

Looks like Ari has a decision to make. Shall we stay tuned for this rumored movie?

The Big Bang - Part 1 of 1 - Melissa!

Episode Synopsis: Vinny is a touch whiney this episode. He's upset he can’t get Sophia in the sack and even more upset about the unfavorable magazine cover story. Waaaah!

If you weren’t already over the Don Peppe plot line, after this week, you will be. The Don Peppe people come out to LA so Turtle can sell them on his dream. Instead, they spend the time avoiding business, complaining, and hunting for celebrities. It’s kind of like watching the in-laws visit, except Turtle doesn’t have a wife with whom to commiserate or eye roll.

Drama and Dice are on strike, and from the looks of their clothing, they're also on strike from shopping. Hand wringing and panic ensue, while stepmother-lover E (cue SNL Justin Timberlake vid) gets a guilty conscience and a Mercedes. Seems like a pretty good deal to me.

Mrs. Ari (that’s Melissa if you're nasty) finds comfort in the arms of Boy Meets Grill, while Ari’s business starts to unravel. It seems that Mrs. Ari Melissa floated $11 million to start Ari’s company. Looks like someone is going to have some trouble in divorce court.

Prepare to be under-whelmed: Here are Drama, E, and Turtle visiting Vin on his photoshoot. Their clothing looks about as boring as their visit to the set. Turtle, I miss your old tacky ways and your baby fat. While I appreciate that you are trying to clean it up a bit, you just aren’t as fun to write about. Sigh.

Vin is looking a bit like a waiter in this white tie and tails combination. I wish the stylist had gone with the dapper Hollywood route. Perhaps a more modern tux would have been nice? I’m sorry but this just isn’t drool worthy at all.

Shauna constantly looks like she is tap dancing between business chic and a floorshow at the Spearmint Rhino. Why does she always have to wear something that is inappropriate for day? Put the tatas away sister. I really love the dress, just not for a daytime work obligation.

Ari is meeting with his lawyer about divorce proceedings. I think this guy doesn’t look jazzy enough to be a Hollywood divorce lawyer. While I totally like his understated ensemble, I just don’t think it screams “expensive.” Don’t you want your lawyer to be really well dressed? That would make me think that he wins his cases. In this case, I think that you would want to judge a book by its cover.

See? This is how it is done. Ari looks amazing. Why on earth would Mrs. Ari want to divorce this?! He is even wearing an Italian style double-breasted suit. I am in love. If I had $11 million lying around, I would totally bail him out of his predicament.

Ari is so upset, that he can’t even insult Babs. Oh let me try!  

Babs, your outfit is uninspired and you need a haircut.

How did I do?

That was fun! Let’s try coming up with something to yell at Lloyd...

** crickets **

Ok, so Lloyd looks too good to mock. I love all of the color that he has been wearing lately.

Is it strange that I am developing a tiny crush on Billy Walsh? First there was his "old man chic" ensemble, now this pirate costume.

Shiver me timbers, I love a man in uniform. I also love that in his current financial condition he can’t afford syrup. Not to worry Billy, I prefer cinnamon and sugar on my French toast.

Drama needs to use this time away from the set to find a stylist. Rachel Zoe probably has oodles of time on her hands now that she had the baby. Her new show hasn’t even started up again yet.

Seriously buddy, hire some help. You’re better than "I'm on strike bitches" shirt. I wish the guy at the t-shirt store would have helped you come up with something a bit more witty. I’m sure Dice could come up with something better. (Just make sure to ask him in Brooklyn Ann-glaz-ee).

Melinda is looking very sultry this week. I adore the outfit and the hair. She looks just sexy enough to still be considered appropriate for day. But is the luxury car and the sexy step-momma action worth the guilt trip? Only time will tell for E.

I really dislike Johnny Galecki. He seems like such a d-bag on this show. I absolutely hate that he claims to be sleeping with Sloan, and I also hate this facial hair. Sloan seems too clean cut to go for this clown. Ugh. Why do girls always go for the bad guy?

Turtle doesn’t seem to have a chance with Team Don Peppe. They are so concerned about celebrity watching. I guess I would be pretty devastated if my only LA sighting was David Spade. What is he even wearing here? The hat! The shirt! The black jeans! It’s all too upsetting.

Although, these two didn’t seem to notice David Spade’s lack of fashion sense. Nope, they are too excited about the Laker game. I can only imagine what they wore to that. Sadly, we didn't get to see, because this is only a half-hour show.

I would like to be Sophia when I grow up. I have a girl crush. Seriously. The hair. The clothing. The accent. Now I see why Vinny is so smitten.

Look! It’s Melissa and Bobby the Barbequing Boy Toy! I hope he's whipping up something tasty because Mrs. Ari is skin and bones. Please feed this poor woman.

I vote that Mrs. Ari ditches Bobby and gets herself a subscription to Food Network Magazine. For as spicy as his food is, his fashion is terribly dull. Let's just hope his knives aren't, as Operation Feed Melissa still needs to be carried out.

Good thing that she is wearing red. Mrs. Ari Melissa (sorry, old habits die hard) is so thin that she almost disappeared into the kitchen. Without the vibrant dress, I wouldn’t have been able to find her.

Thank goodness that Johnny’s Bananas was saved!! Here’s hoping that “cast stylist” was written into the newly finalized contracts. Although if the network does hire a stylist for the show, Hawaii’s economy might suffer. I hear that Hawaiian shirts are their chief export, and it looks like Drama is their number one client. 

Whiz Kid - Part 1 of 1 - Urine Trouble

Episode Synopsis: In the aftermath of witnessing a drug-induced suicide, Vince has to take a drug test. Not a problem since he’s clean and sober after finishing rehab, right? Wrong. Vince had a few puffs of marijuana to prove he’s not an addict. Enter Billy Walsh, who saves the day with a prosthetic penis - yep, you read that right - filled with clean urine. Meanwhile, Ari took Dana out for dinner at Bobby Flay’s restaurant and pissed off Dana, Bobby Flay, and Mrs. Ari. That's the Ari Gold we know and love!

We’re halfway through the final season of Entourage and the show has finally delivered a juicy episode. Picking up where we left off, Vinnie and Turtle deal with the aftermath of Carl’s suicide. In L.A., that means cops, agents and TMZ show up.

Seriously, did all of E’s shirts burn in the fire? Was Sloan the only reason he had to dress well? You’re a businessman! Dress like one! I mean, just look – all of Vince’s people showed up at the police station:

Let’s see, we have the publicist, the agent, the lawyer and...no, that kid in the sports T-shirt can’t be his manager. Yet, sadly, it is. How will Vince's life ever get back on track if his manager looks he just came from the gym?

Bad news for Vince at the police station – since there were drugs in Carl’s home he has to take a drug test. Vince followed that bomb with more bad news for his people – he’d had some marijuana about a week ago. The boys shift into disaster-control mode and come up with crazy schemes to rid Vince’s body of any traces of drugs.

That's a face that says "You want me to do what?" I like these colors on Vince and Turtle, but I wish Turtle would cool it with the hats. You guys are from New York. I get it. But start dressing like L.A.

Only one guy could come to the rescue, and that was Billy Walsh. No one knows how to work the system like a former addict. I’m loving the old man chic look Billy has been rocking lately. Poor Vince doesn’t look very relaxed, though – his outfit is casual and cool, so I’m going to blame his anxiety on what’s underneath the clothes...an artificial penis filled with clean urine. How very Hollywood.

While Vince was dealing with his drug drama, Ari had some dating drama to address. Remember how he ended up in bed with Dana Gordon last week?

Love the pink sheets. I think Dana is a better mate for Ari than his (soon to be ex?) wife. I mean, they're both OK with checking BlackBerries in bed!

Still, Ari wasn’t ready to throw in the towel and met Wifey for a couples therapy session. Unfortunately, he met her 30 minutes late and she stormed out.

This is not my favorite Mrs. Ari look. That black piping just doesn’t look right, and it looks as though it was rather chilly in the therapist’s office. Perhaps she should have brought a cardigan or blazer. Or a better bra.

What's a man to do when his wife walks out on him? He calls up a hotter, more successful, better dressed woman and uses her to make Wifey jealous. Or at least, that’s what Ari did.

I hope we get to see more of Dana this season – she’s been bringing it in the fashion department, and I love the power suit she was rocking when Ari called to ask her for dinner.

My favorite outfit of the night, though, was what she wore for said dinner.

What a good looking couple! Too bad Bobby Flay came out in his chef’s outfit to ruin the mood. Also, too bad Dana realized she was being used and stormed out.

Yeah, I get it Dana – Ari can be a jerk. But on the bright side, that dress looks great on you!

Much better than what Mrs. Ari had on when she called to yell at him.

What’s going on with that neckline? And could someone please pass her a sandwich? Seriously, was Mrs. Ari always so skeletal? Maybe it’s the stress. Divorce is hard, you guys.

So how do a few Hollywood hotshots wrap up a crazy day of drug tests and failed revenge dates? Like we all do, by tossing fake genitals around the fire! There’s nothing more relaxing.

Thanks to that realistic looking device, Vinnie passed his drug test and is back on his way to bring a movie star. Only four more episodes left! Let’s hope we catch a glimpse of E wearing a tie before the series is through.

Out With a Bang - Part 1 of 1 - All in a Day's Work

Episode Synopsis: The boys are living in a hotel due to Turtle's whole "oops, I burned down our mansion while I was smoking weed" incident. Hey, it happens. But all is not worry-free at the House of No Consequences. Drama and Dice (ugh...please tell me we don't have to suffer him for long) stress over the test audience's reaction to Johnny's Bananas, Vinnie stresses over Billy Walsh's reaction to the movie he's written (why do I imagine that Vince writes things with a crayon in his fist, sticking his tongue out just a little?), Turtle stresses over the fact that his model/girlfriend has forgotten he exists, and E stresses over...well, Sloan. Seems he wasn't entirely over her, and when she announced she's moving cross-country immediately after one last roll in the hay, he took it pretty hard. Poor E. At least you're living in a nice hotel, right?

Let's just get this out of the way. I loathe Drama's shirt.

Why did someone make this? Was it a dare? Was it Christian Audigier? I don't know if it was, but I'm going to blame him. It's henious.

See, even E and Turtle agree with me.

Not that these two are paragons of style. I can forgive Eric for the casual T-shirt. I mean, he's just chillin' at home, enjoying his morning Joe. No need to get all gussied up for that. And, ok, I guess all of Turtle's clothes burned in the fire (including the custom Fukijama kicks Vinnie bought for him in Season 3? Ouch.) and all he could find was this Knicks jersey. How very throwback of you, Turtle. Just when I thought you'd started wearing real clothes...

So we're to assume that E got a little more dressed up as the day progressed, right? No. Wrong. What he did do was add a checked shirt. I can tell by Sloan's judgemental stance that she agrees E's gotten a little slopp-

WHOA. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH HER JEANS?

Please tell me this look isn't coming back. Baggy with French-rolled cuffs? I thought this had a brief resurgance, like, last year, and we - the fashion-buying populace - immediately squeleshed it and sent it back to the late 80s. Did it resurface in L.A.? No. No, no, no, no...a thousand times I say NAY! I won't wear this look. I refuse.

Wait, I think I said that about skinny jeans back in '07. Ok, don't quote me on any of this.

Let's take a look at her top. See, this is how my life is different than that of Sloan's. Were I to wear something like this, it would be for evening. Sloan wears it on a Tuesday afternoon.

I do like her big earrings and her bracelets (or is it one big cuff?)

She likes it too. She never takes it off!

Back to the boys. Vinnie looks casual yet (unlike E) pulled together in this reverse-stitch henley t-shirt. Sigh. He's so pretty.

And Billy has a dog.

Does anyone else think this is odd? I know he's gone all soft and zen, but I still can't see Billy Walsh owning a little terrier. And can we talk about that jacket? I'm guessing it has a story. It was dad's or grandpa's...I'm surprised Billy hasn't worked that into one of his films.

Let's move the pooch out of the way and step into some better light...

Ah, that's better. Army jacket, knit vest, and some sort of graphic t-shirt. Ok, you're still a hipster. Carry on.

Bear with me. Things are going to go south for a minute.

Do I have to recap Andrew Dice Clay? I mean...what is there to say? I enjoy inappropriate humor just as much as the next person, but I never understood the appeal of the Diceman. Anywho, I guess I'm not here to character judge. I'm here to sartorially judge. And that is so much more superficial.

So, he's dressed appropriately for his persona. Big, tough, devil-may-care. I actually like the gloves and the cuffs. In my opinion, he needs to lose the jacket, sideburns, and glasses, but he didn't ask my opinion (nor would he, me being the sort that has ovaries).

Oh and look, he's PATRIOTIC! Who knew?

Apparently not Avion Girl, who looks a little surprised. Or maybe she's surprised that her top hasn't fallen off. I mean, honestly. HOW is that thing staying on? Tape? Pins? Prayer?

"You must be this tall to be an Avion Girl."

Oh, hi Scott. You know what...I don't like you. Maybe it's the way they established your character early on, or maybe it's your used-car salesman hair. I just know you're going to stick it to Eric at some point in the season, and that makes me grimace each second you're on the screen.

Also, your outfit sucks. Learn how to dress like a real Hollywood insider.

Like this guy. Will Ari ever wear anything less than tailored perfection? I'm guessing no.

I need to take a closer look at his pocket square...are those polka-dots I spy?

Speaking of magnificent pocket squares, LLOYD! God, I love you. This outfit makes me want to clap. Bra-freaking-vo, my good man!

You, on the other hand, are no Lloyd. Go back to answering the phones.

Oh - hic! - hey Marci. How is it that you manage to always appear drunk?

I was practically mesmerized by the swaying fringe on the front of her blouse. The whole look is a bit of a 70s throwback, which makes sense, as that decade was probably the last time her life was in order. Hard to believe she and Mrs. Ari are cut from the same cloth.

Right? Fitted and tight yet appropriate for daytime. Perfect makeup. Shining hair. Sassy stance.

Actually...why was she posing like that when the elevator doors opened? I get that she's mad at Ari, but she looks like someone who had to ride the elevator with Andrew Dice Clay.

No matter. She's also got killer shoes and bag to match.

Ari, please don't screw things up with the Mrs...she's a pleasure to recap. For us? Hey, I even voted for your brother in the Chicago mayoral election! C'mon, do me a solid!

Home Sweet Home - Part 1 of 1 - The Lying Game

Episode Synopsis: It’s been three months, and Vince is fresh out of rehab and ready to move on with life. But can he do that with the guys walking on eggshells around him? Not if they’re going to be so nervous about sending him into a downward spiral of cocaine and whiskey that they tell him a movie idea about a bunch of trapped miners and a heroic dog is actually a good idea. In other news, Mrs. Ari is moving on, and Ari is moved to tears. He blames the waterworks on the smoke from the boys' burning pad, but we all know it's from a broken heart. Awww....

Well hi there, guys! Entourage is back for its final season, and I’m so excited to be recapping the first episode for y’all. Let’s start with everyone's favorite movie star, Vinnie Chase!

Vince has always been a casual dresser, plus he’s in rehab, so I’ll forgive the boring duds here. But what I can’t forgive? The fact that these are the clothes he left on the entire time. Dude, your friends threw a welcome home party for you. The least you could do is change out of the Henley you wore home from Promises. I mean, look at how people dress there:

Note to self: Dress code at rehab is very, very casual. I'm writing this down. You know, just in case.

Also? Getting out of rehab is nutso. Or at least, it is if you’re a famous movie star. There are people with signs...

...and girls with boobs. What a circus!

Addendum to note to self: bring casual clothes and security detail.

Drama, Turtle and E were also looking very low-key this week. Now, Drama and Turtle I can forgive. They’re casual dudes, and they both have jobs that allow for relaxed looks. I don’t love Turtle’s typical plaid shirt and ball cap, but he is rocking a new slimmed-down physique. Drama also looks great here in his leather jacket and shades.

No, the guy who’s really committing a crime against fashion is E. He’s taken over as boss at his company but is sporting a Yankees T-shirt? Step it up, buddy! You’re letting Scott out-dress you! (And kudos to Johnny Galecki from The Big Bang Theory for pretending to be a jerk.)

Luckily, some men still know how to dress professionally. Ari’s life may be in a shambles, but he still looks fantastic.

Looks like sharp dressing runs in the family, too! Ari’s son is all kinds of adorable.

Also adorable? Lloyd, one of my favorite characters.

Love the unexpected shirt/tie/pocket square combo. It takes a lot of confidence to pull off that look.

Another one of my favorite characters is Billy Walsh. The man knows how to pull off sobriety and an old-man sweater. That’s talent.

Billy’s accessories were decidedly less classy than his sweater, though – a bunch of trampy girls. Most of them looked like this:

Seriously, you could hide Lloyd in her cleavage. I like the hat on the girl in front of her, though.

Other than the bimbos at Vince’s party, though, the women of Entourage were bringing it this week. I really loved Amanda’s pink dress and white blazer. E better be careful, his receptionist is dressing more appropriately than him.

And Sloan might be a total B, but at least she’s a well-dressed one.

I kind of hate Mrs. Ari for making Ari cry, but you can’t deny that this floral wrap dress is gorgeous. I don't know that I'd wear it while cooking, but it's certainly date-night appropriate.

Overall, a ho-hum performance from the men. Ladies, perhaps you can use your feminine wiles on the boys. They need to step it up!