The Big Bang - Part 1 of 1 - Melissa!

Episode Synopsis: Vinny is a touch whiney this episode. He's upset he can’t get Sophia in the sack and even more upset about the unfavorable magazine cover story. Waaaah!

If you weren’t already over the Don Peppe plot line, after this week, you will be. The Don Peppe people come out to LA so Turtle can sell them on his dream. Instead, they spend the time avoiding business, complaining, and hunting for celebrities. It’s kind of like watching the in-laws visit, except Turtle doesn’t have a wife with whom to commiserate or eye roll.

Drama and Dice are on strike, and from the looks of their clothing, they're also on strike from shopping. Hand wringing and panic ensue, while stepmother-lover E (cue SNL Justin Timberlake vid) gets a guilty conscience and a Mercedes. Seems like a pretty good deal to me.

Mrs. Ari (that’s Melissa if you're nasty) finds comfort in the arms of Boy Meets Grill, while Ari’s business starts to unravel. It seems that Mrs. Ari Melissa floated $11 million to start Ari’s company. Looks like someone is going to have some trouble in divorce court.

Prepare to be under-whelmed: Here are Drama, E, and Turtle visiting Vin on his photoshoot. Their clothing looks about as boring as their visit to the set. Turtle, I miss your old tacky ways and your baby fat. While I appreciate that you are trying to clean it up a bit, you just aren’t as fun to write about. Sigh.

Vin is looking a bit like a waiter in this white tie and tails combination. I wish the stylist had gone with the dapper Hollywood route. Perhaps a more modern tux would have been nice? I’m sorry but this just isn’t drool worthy at all.

Shauna constantly looks like she is tap dancing between business chic and a floorshow at the Spearmint Rhino. Why does she always have to wear something that is inappropriate for day? Put the tatas away sister. I really love the dress, just not for a daytime work obligation.

Ari is meeting with his lawyer about divorce proceedings. I think this guy doesn’t look jazzy enough to be a Hollywood divorce lawyer. While I totally like his understated ensemble, I just don’t think it screams “expensive.” Don’t you want your lawyer to be really well dressed? That would make me think that he wins his cases. In this case, I think that you would want to judge a book by its cover.

See? This is how it is done. Ari looks amazing. Why on earth would Mrs. Ari want to divorce this?! He is even wearing an Italian style double-breasted suit. I am in love. If I had $11 million lying around, I would totally bail him out of his predicament.

Ari is so upset, that he can’t even insult Babs. Oh let me try!  

Babs, your outfit is uninspired and you need a haircut.

How did I do?

That was fun! Let’s try coming up with something to yell at Lloyd...

** crickets **

Ok, so Lloyd looks too good to mock. I love all of the color that he has been wearing lately.

Is it strange that I am developing a tiny crush on Billy Walsh? First there was his "old man chic" ensemble, now this pirate costume.

Shiver me timbers, I love a man in uniform. I also love that in his current financial condition he can’t afford syrup. Not to worry Billy, I prefer cinnamon and sugar on my French toast.

Drama needs to use this time away from the set to find a stylist. Rachel Zoe probably has oodles of time on her hands now that she had the baby. Her new show hasn’t even started up again yet.

Seriously buddy, hire some help. You’re better than "I'm on strike bitches" shirt. I wish the guy at the t-shirt store would have helped you come up with something a bit more witty. I’m sure Dice could come up with something better. (Just make sure to ask him in Brooklyn Ann-glaz-ee).

Melinda is looking very sultry this week. I adore the outfit and the hair. She looks just sexy enough to still be considered appropriate for day. But is the luxury car and the sexy step-momma action worth the guilt trip? Only time will tell for E.

I really dislike Johnny Galecki. He seems like such a d-bag on this show. I absolutely hate that he claims to be sleeping with Sloan, and I also hate this facial hair. Sloan seems too clean cut to go for this clown. Ugh. Why do girls always go for the bad guy?

Turtle doesn’t seem to have a chance with Team Don Peppe. They are so concerned about celebrity watching. I guess I would be pretty devastated if my only LA sighting was David Spade. What is he even wearing here? The hat! The shirt! The black jeans! It’s all too upsetting.

Although, these two didn’t seem to notice David Spade’s lack of fashion sense. Nope, they are too excited about the Laker game. I can only imagine what they wore to that. Sadly, we didn't get to see, because this is only a half-hour show.

I would like to be Sophia when I grow up. I have a girl crush. Seriously. The hair. The clothing. The accent. Now I see why Vinny is so smitten.

Look! It’s Melissa and Bobby the Barbequing Boy Toy! I hope he's whipping up something tasty because Mrs. Ari is skin and bones. Please feed this poor woman.

I vote that Mrs. Ari ditches Bobby and gets herself a subscription to Food Network Magazine. For as spicy as his food is, his fashion is terribly dull. Let's just hope his knives aren't, as Operation Feed Melissa still needs to be carried out.

Good thing that she is wearing red. Mrs. Ari Melissa (sorry, old habits die hard) is so thin that she almost disappeared into the kitchen. Without the vibrant dress, I wouldn’t have been able to find her.

Thank goodness that Johnny’s Bananas was saved!! Here’s hoping that “cast stylist” was written into the newly finalized contracts. Although if the network does hire a stylist for the show, Hawaii’s economy might suffer. I hear that Hawaiian shirts are their chief export, and it looks like Drama is their number one client. 

Whiz Kid - Part 1 of 1 - Urine Trouble

Episode Synopsis: In the aftermath of witnessing a drug-induced suicide, Vince has to take a drug test. Not a problem since he’s clean and sober after finishing rehab, right? Wrong. Vince had a few puffs of marijuana to prove he’s not an addict. Enter Billy Walsh, who saves the day with a prosthetic penis - yep, you read that right - filled with clean urine. Meanwhile, Ari took Dana out for dinner at Bobby Flay’s restaurant and pissed off Dana, Bobby Flay, and Mrs. Ari. That's the Ari Gold we know and love!

We’re halfway through the final season of Entourage and the show has finally delivered a juicy episode. Picking up where we left off, Vinnie and Turtle deal with the aftermath of Carl’s suicide. In L.A., that means cops, agents and TMZ show up.

Seriously, did all of E’s shirts burn in the fire? Was Sloan the only reason he had to dress well? You’re a businessman! Dress like one! I mean, just look – all of Vince’s people showed up at the police station:

Let’s see, we have the publicist, the agent, the lawyer and...no, that kid in the sports T-shirt can’t be his manager. Yet, sadly, it is. How will Vince's life ever get back on track if his manager looks he just came from the gym?

Bad news for Vince at the police station – since there were drugs in Carl’s home he has to take a drug test. Vince followed that bomb with more bad news for his people – he’d had some marijuana about a week ago. The boys shift into disaster-control mode and come up with crazy schemes to rid Vince’s body of any traces of drugs.

That's a face that says "You want me to do what?" I like these colors on Vince and Turtle, but I wish Turtle would cool it with the hats. You guys are from New York. I get it. But start dressing like L.A.

Only one guy could come to the rescue, and that was Billy Walsh. No one knows how to work the system like a former addict. I’m loving the old man chic look Billy has been rocking lately. Poor Vince doesn’t look very relaxed, though – his outfit is casual and cool, so I’m going to blame his anxiety on what’s underneath the clothes...an artificial penis filled with clean urine. How very Hollywood.

While Vince was dealing with his drug drama, Ari had some dating drama to address. Remember how he ended up in bed with Dana Gordon last week?

Love the pink sheets. I think Dana is a better mate for Ari than his (soon to be ex?) wife. I mean, they're both OK with checking BlackBerries in bed!

Still, Ari wasn’t ready to throw in the towel and met Wifey for a couples therapy session. Unfortunately, he met her 30 minutes late and she stormed out.

This is not my favorite Mrs. Ari look. That black piping just doesn’t look right, and it looks as though it was rather chilly in the therapist’s office. Perhaps she should have brought a cardigan or blazer. Or a better bra.

What's a man to do when his wife walks out on him? He calls up a hotter, more successful, better dressed woman and uses her to make Wifey jealous. Or at least, that’s what Ari did.

I hope we get to see more of Dana this season – she’s been bringing it in the fashion department, and I love the power suit she was rocking when Ari called to ask her for dinner.

My favorite outfit of the night, though, was what she wore for said dinner.

What a good looking couple! Too bad Bobby Flay came out in his chef’s outfit to ruin the mood. Also, too bad Dana realized she was being used and stormed out.

Yeah, I get it Dana – Ari can be a jerk. But on the bright side, that dress looks great on you!

Much better than what Mrs. Ari had on when she called to yell at him.

What’s going on with that neckline? And could someone please pass her a sandwich? Seriously, was Mrs. Ari always so skeletal? Maybe it’s the stress. Divorce is hard, you guys.

So how do a few Hollywood hotshots wrap up a crazy day of drug tests and failed revenge dates? Like we all do, by tossing fake genitals around the fire! There’s nothing more relaxing.

Thanks to that realistic looking device, Vinnie passed his drug test and is back on his way to bring a movie star. Only four more episodes left! Let’s hope we catch a glimpse of E wearing a tie before the series is through.

One Last Shot - Part 1 of 1 - It's Time To Change

Episode Synopsis: I never thought I'd say this, but this week's Entourage had me seeing Brady (Bunch, that is). Time for everyone to "change and rearrange"!

Ari started dating - watch out ladies! I can't believe that he trusted sweet Lloyd to set him up. On a side note, congrats on the promotion, Lloyd. Andrew Dice Clay said "no dice" to Johnny's Bananas. Turtle got ditched by his job and his girlfriend. Vinny explored the twelve steps and the idea of forgiveness when he met with nemesis Carl (a director who screwed him out of a previous movie) about his new Drama/Dog TV movie. All seemed to be going well until crazy Carl went on a blow bender and ended up killing himself. Ouch.

Poor Ari was devastated and distracted by his separation from Mrs. Ari and her love affair with Bobby Flay. He is obviously depressed, hence the boring Italian cut suit and shirt/ tie combination. Perhaps a little color would make his love life more spicy? 

I think Ari should take a cue from Lloyd. This whimsical pink combination has me seeing hearts. This is how to spark a love interest. Bravo Lloyd! You can be my Cupid any day. 

The confusion was enough to drive Ari to date a twenty-something manicurist. Although she had no idea they were going to dinner, I think that her ensemble is totally situation appropriate. I love the marine blue silk halter with the grey slim slacks. Totally chic.

Girlfriend obviously didn't go to beauty school because she didn't help her roommate with his big red Afro- yikes!

The bad date drove Ari into the arms (and sheets) of Dana. They look very cozy in her rosey bed. 

Meanwhile E and Scotty (both dressed in rather unassuming work clothing) tried to reason with Dice and Drama. No guys, you can't make $20,000 an episode for playing a chimp on an unaired cartoon. Drama saw the light; Dice did not.

I'm about to call up that Intervention show. Drama seems to be addicted to horrific fashion. I was not amused by that little Christian Audiger stunt he pulled last week. This week he channeled what appeared to be a costume from the Rat Pack/Panama Canal Adventure. Get it together, buddy! No wonder you're only staring in an animated cartoon.

On closer inspection, I think Drama's shirt might be a Rorschach Test. I see grilled cheese sandwiches. What about you guys? 

Goodbye Andrew Dice Clay and your bad taste in fashion! I'm sorry, but anyone who wears sand-blasted denim jams and a cut off sweatshirt does not deserve to make it in Hollywood. 

What is happening with these sunglasses/ chemistry goggles? Judging by the protective eyewear and the unsavory location of Dice's apartment, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a meth lab hidden inside. 

With no Dice, what is Billy Walsh to do? Dress up like some sort of creepy thug druid, obviously. 

Hello Jamie Kennedy! Your Andrew Dice Clay impression is as rocky as your layered look. Hopefully the future Johnny's Bananas windfall will help you afford some better duds. 

Turtle’s story line was also all about change this week. A too skinny Turtle lost his girlfriend and his usefulness at work. In need of a purpose, he cashed out his tequila money and decided to bring an East Coast restaurant to LA. Apparently his mission in life is to bring fried clams to all!

I admire Turtle’s sense of color. The bright stripes are playful and bold. It's almost enough to make me ignore the fact that Turtle seems to have developed an eating disorder. Those sunken cheeks make it impossible to see his dimples! Hopefully the fried clams work some magic.

Vinny, you are out of rehab. Live a little! What is up with the lame t-shirt and hoodie combo? The only thing that I like about this outfit is that the shirt says "Aviator" and he is carrying Aviator sunglasses. So meta. Outside of that, your fashion is as bad as your Drama/Dog screenplay sounds. 

I don't think that I trust this Carl character. His shirt is unbuttoned too far. Chest hair always seems so shady. 

Turtle's second ensemble was equally colorful and graphic, not to mention crisp and pulled together. I love him in blue. He looks like a grown up (or at least like someone who could believeably make $300,000 with a quick phone call). 

There’s my man! Looking sharp, Vin. He looks so much better in this tailored jacket and neutral shirt. I'm glad he pulled it together. He needs to be 100% to deal with Carl.

Sadly, the bathrobe and unkempt hair are the least of this guy's problems. He ended the day with blow and a bullet. I blame Vinny's horrible screenplay.

Out With a Bang - Part 1 of 1 - All in a Day's Work

Episode Synopsis: The boys are living in a hotel due to Turtle's whole "oops, I burned down our mansion while I was smoking weed" incident. Hey, it happens. But all is not worry-free at the House of No Consequences. Drama and Dice (ugh...please tell me we don't have to suffer him for long) stress over the test audience's reaction to Johnny's Bananas, Vinnie stresses over Billy Walsh's reaction to the movie he's written (why do I imagine that Vince writes things with a crayon in his fist, sticking his tongue out just a little?), Turtle stresses over the fact that his model/girlfriend has forgotten he exists, and E stresses over...well, Sloan. Seems he wasn't entirely over her, and when she announced she's moving cross-country immediately after one last roll in the hay, he took it pretty hard. Poor E. At least you're living in a nice hotel, right?

Let's just get this out of the way. I loathe Drama's shirt.

Why did someone make this? Was it a dare? Was it Christian Audigier? I don't know if it was, but I'm going to blame him. It's henious.

See, even E and Turtle agree with me.

Not that these two are paragons of style. I can forgive Eric for the casual T-shirt. I mean, he's just chillin' at home, enjoying his morning Joe. No need to get all gussied up for that. And, ok, I guess all of Turtle's clothes burned in the fire (including the custom Fukijama kicks Vinnie bought for him in Season 3? Ouch.) and all he could find was this Knicks jersey. How very throwback of you, Turtle. Just when I thought you'd started wearing real clothes...

So we're to assume that E got a little more dressed up as the day progressed, right? No. Wrong. What he did do was add a checked shirt. I can tell by Sloan's judgemental stance that she agrees E's gotten a little slopp-

WHOA. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH HER JEANS?

Please tell me this look isn't coming back. Baggy with French-rolled cuffs? I thought this had a brief resurgance, like, last year, and we - the fashion-buying populace - immediately squeleshed it and sent it back to the late 80s. Did it resurface in L.A.? No. No, no, no, no...a thousand times I say NAY! I won't wear this look. I refuse.

Wait, I think I said that about skinny jeans back in '07. Ok, don't quote me on any of this.

Let's take a look at her top. See, this is how my life is different than that of Sloan's. Were I to wear something like this, it would be for evening. Sloan wears it on a Tuesday afternoon.

I do like her big earrings and her bracelets (or is it one big cuff?)

She likes it too. She never takes it off!

Back to the boys. Vinnie looks casual yet (unlike E) pulled together in this reverse-stitch henley t-shirt. Sigh. He's so pretty.

And Billy has a dog.

Does anyone else think this is odd? I know he's gone all soft and zen, but I still can't see Billy Walsh owning a little terrier. And can we talk about that jacket? I'm guessing it has a story. It was dad's or grandpa's...I'm surprised Billy hasn't worked that into one of his films.

Let's move the pooch out of the way and step into some better light...

Ah, that's better. Army jacket, knit vest, and some sort of graphic t-shirt. Ok, you're still a hipster. Carry on.

Bear with me. Things are going to go south for a minute.

Do I have to recap Andrew Dice Clay? I mean...what is there to say? I enjoy inappropriate humor just as much as the next person, but I never understood the appeal of the Diceman. Anywho, I guess I'm not here to character judge. I'm here to sartorially judge. And that is so much more superficial.

So, he's dressed appropriately for his persona. Big, tough, devil-may-care. I actually like the gloves and the cuffs. In my opinion, he needs to lose the jacket, sideburns, and glasses, but he didn't ask my opinion (nor would he, me being the sort that has ovaries).

Oh and look, he's PATRIOTIC! Who knew?

Apparently not Avion Girl, who looks a little surprised. Or maybe she's surprised that her top hasn't fallen off. I mean, honestly. HOW is that thing staying on? Tape? Pins? Prayer?

"You must be this tall to be an Avion Girl."

Oh, hi Scott. You know what...I don't like you. Maybe it's the way they established your character early on, or maybe it's your used-car salesman hair. I just know you're going to stick it to Eric at some point in the season, and that makes me grimace each second you're on the screen.

Also, your outfit sucks. Learn how to dress like a real Hollywood insider.

Like this guy. Will Ari ever wear anything less than tailored perfection? I'm guessing no.

I need to take a closer look at his pocket square...are those polka-dots I spy?

Speaking of magnificent pocket squares, LLOYD! God, I love you. This outfit makes me want to clap. Bra-freaking-vo, my good man!

You, on the other hand, are no Lloyd. Go back to answering the phones.

Oh - hic! - hey Marci. How is it that you manage to always appear drunk?

I was practically mesmerized by the swaying fringe on the front of her blouse. The whole look is a bit of a 70s throwback, which makes sense, as that decade was probably the last time her life was in order. Hard to believe she and Mrs. Ari are cut from the same cloth.

Right? Fitted and tight yet appropriate for daytime. Perfect makeup. Shining hair. Sassy stance.

Actually...why was she posing like that when the elevator doors opened? I get that she's mad at Ari, but she looks like someone who had to ride the elevator with Andrew Dice Clay.

No matter. She's also got killer shoes and bag to match.

Ari, please don't screw things up with the Mrs...she's a pleasure to recap. For us? Hey, I even voted for your brother in the Chicago mayoral election! C'mon, do me a solid!

Home Sweet Home - Part 1 of 1 - The Lying Game

Episode Synopsis: It’s been three months, and Vince is fresh out of rehab and ready to move on with life. But can he do that with the guys walking on eggshells around him? Not if they’re going to be so nervous about sending him into a downward spiral of cocaine and whiskey that they tell him a movie idea about a bunch of trapped miners and a heroic dog is actually a good idea. In other news, Mrs. Ari is moving on, and Ari is moved to tears. He blames the waterworks on the smoke from the boys' burning pad, but we all know it's from a broken heart. Awww....

Well hi there, guys! Entourage is back for its final season, and I’m so excited to be recapping the first episode for y’all. Let’s start with everyone's favorite movie star, Vinnie Chase!

Vince has always been a casual dresser, plus he’s in rehab, so I’ll forgive the boring duds here. But what I can’t forgive? The fact that these are the clothes he left on the entire time. Dude, your friends threw a welcome home party for you. The least you could do is change out of the Henley you wore home from Promises. I mean, look at how people dress there:

Note to self: Dress code at rehab is very, very casual. I'm writing this down. You know, just in case.

Also? Getting out of rehab is nutso. Or at least, it is if you’re a famous movie star. There are people with signs...

...and girls with boobs. What a circus!

Addendum to note to self: bring casual clothes and security detail.

Drama, Turtle and E were also looking very low-key this week. Now, Drama and Turtle I can forgive. They’re casual dudes, and they both have jobs that allow for relaxed looks. I don’t love Turtle’s typical plaid shirt and ball cap, but he is rocking a new slimmed-down physique. Drama also looks great here in his leather jacket and shades.

No, the guy who’s really committing a crime against fashion is E. He’s taken over as boss at his company but is sporting a Yankees T-shirt? Step it up, buddy! You’re letting Scott out-dress you! (And kudos to Johnny Galecki from The Big Bang Theory for pretending to be a jerk.)

Luckily, some men still know how to dress professionally. Ari’s life may be in a shambles, but he still looks fantastic.

Looks like sharp dressing runs in the family, too! Ari’s son is all kinds of adorable.

Also adorable? Lloyd, one of my favorite characters.

Love the unexpected shirt/tie/pocket square combo. It takes a lot of confidence to pull off that look.

Another one of my favorite characters is Billy Walsh. The man knows how to pull off sobriety and an old-man sweater. That’s talent.

Billy’s accessories were decidedly less classy than his sweater, though – a bunch of trampy girls. Most of them looked like this:

Seriously, you could hide Lloyd in her cleavage. I like the hat on the girl in front of her, though.

Other than the bimbos at Vince’s party, though, the women of Entourage were bringing it this week. I really loved Amanda’s pink dress and white blazer. E better be careful, his receptionist is dressing more appropriately than him.

And Sloan might be a total B, but at least she’s a well-dressed one.

I kind of hate Mrs. Ari for making Ari cry, but you can’t deny that this floral wrap dress is gorgeous. I don't know that I'd wear it while cooking, but it's certainly date-night appropriate.

Overall, a ho-hum performance from the men. Ladies, perhaps you can use your feminine wiles on the boys. They need to step it up!