The End - Part 1 of 1 - Bye Bye, Bros

That’s a wrap, folks. The eighth and final season of Entourage concluded on Sunday night and the boys were all left with happily ever after endings…unless they end up doing a movie, but I’d rather leave things here, wouldn’t you?

When the episode started, we saw Vince just getting back from a 24-hour long date with Sophia. Since we didn’t actually get to see them together, you’ll just have to take Vince’s word for it and know it was amazing.

See that face? That’s the face of a guy who’s in love.

See these faces? These are the faces of men who just found out their best friend is marrying a woman he’s only know for a few hours.

Yeah. Their clothes might say “casual Saturday morning brunch”, but their faces say “WTF?”

You know who wasn’t glowing with the warmth of new love? Ari. He looked like a hobo who scored a nice suit at the Goodwill. (And yet, unshaven and disheveled, Ari still managed to look better than E did all season.)

Oh hi, Babs. Nice necklace.

Then, just to make things worse, Mrs. Ari showed up. In this.

What is going on here? Did Bobby Flay lose control of his cleaver and accidentally slice your dress open? Did the store not sell it in your size and it ripped open? What is going on?

Meanwhile, E decided to pack up and move to New York to be with Sloan and the baby. I’d forgive the ratty Yankees T-shirt since he’s just there to collect his belongings, but this is how E dressed all season. Vince looks nice though.

The boys must have realized that E was miserable without Sloan (I mean, it was obvious – why else would he continue to dress like a bum?) so Turtle and Drama paid her a visit. I guess now that Sloan is preggers, she’s dressing like a hippie. Enjoy the cute high-waisted jeans and breezy crop-top while you can, missy.

So Vince is getting married, and that means a big shiny ring. Better get the Rachel Zoe seal of approval on it! Because if I were going to take fashion advice from someone, it would be the woman who had The Littlest Hobo turned into a jacket.

Yeah, that measly 5.4 carat rock isn’t going to cut it. Ms. Zoe saw a bigger, sparklier, more expensive one in the window.

“It’s not about the money, she’s wearing this forever. I mean, hopefully.” These were Rachel Zoe’s words of advice to Vince after recommending he purchase a $1.4 million ring. Come on, Rach – this is Entourage, no one ever thinks about money! (What season was it where Vince went broke and had to sing at a sweet sixteen birthday party? Did he recover from that? Who can keep track?)

In the middle of ring shopping, Vince took a call from Sloan’s daddy. Classic goofy Vince, trying to make things better and only making them worse – Sloan hadn’t ‘fessed up about having a bun in the oven yet. Whoopsies! But wouldn’t any father feel better getting that news from Aquaman?

He looks pretty pissed, so I guess not. But nice shirt and tie! You know, in an old white man kind of way. Too bad Terrence’s sense of style didn’t rub off on E a little before they parted ways.

Speaking of fashion sense rubbing off, look at Sarah Gold in this cute purple dress.

She must have inherited her daddy’s good taste in clothes, because…well, do I need to remind you of how Mrs. Ari has been dressing lately?

Big news! Ari quit his job. It was a big exit too, with very dramatic teen opera music blasting. Lloyd looks shocked.

Oh Lloyd, I’ll miss you most of all. That shirt/tie combination is to die for.

After breaking Sloan’s baby (and even worse, baby daddy) news to Papa Sloan, Vince had to pay her a visit and make things right. Thank God his speeches are more effective than his wardrobe, because nothing’s more wrong than that T-shirt.

Sloan gets a pass this round since she’s wearing a bathrobe.

The big moment of the finale came when Ari showed up and pleaded for his wife to take him back. Thankfully, he managed to shave for the occasion. Unfortunately, Mrs. Ari was still in that dress.

I mean, come on! It’s like the white swan was attacked by the black swan. Oh well. They got back together, so I guess I should cut her a break.

Awwww.

Oh sorry, did you think the “awwww” was for the Mr. & Mrs. Ari reunion? Hell no! I got choked up when Lloyd showed up and Ari told him it was his time to shine.

Oh. My. God. There’s a cutout in the back of Mrs. Ari’s dress, too. Is it too late to still keep my fingers crossed for Ari and Dana Gordon?

OK, time for the boys to jet off to Paris for Vince’s totally plausible impromptu wedding.

Drama, you are going to the fashion capital of the world, not a Jimmy Buffett concert. What the heck are you wearing? At least E dressed up for the occasion, sort of. I mean, he looks better than a typical day at the office.

Speaking of the office, how awkward was Scott’s visit?

He said he didn’t want to go to Vince’s wedding because it seemed like a family thing, but we all know he was just feeling embarrassed about his hair. You can’t go to Paris looking like a blond Danny Zuko.

But guess who is coming to the wedding? Mr. & Mrs. Ari!

Thank God that awful dress was white, so she couldn’t wear it to the wedding. This is much more appropriate. Ari looks lovely too.

What a good looking group! Or it would be, if I’d cropped the photo to eliminate Scott. And Drama. And if you squint your eyes so that you can’t tell that E forgot to shave, and therefore looks a bit like a homeless leprechaun. OK, maybe just leave in Ari, Mrs. Ari, and Vince’s soon-to-be wife. I mean, she looks gorgeous.

Speaking of gorgeous, cue an appearance from Sloan!

After all, this wouldn’t be Entourage if everything wasn’t wrapped up with a tidy little bow. Of course E and Sloan had to ignore their many, many problems and get back together. Anyway. Love the orange dress, Sloansie. Hope ya never find out that E and Melinda actually did do the nasty. Possibly more than once.

If you thought that was the end, you were wrong – like they’d let Drama have the final say, right? Ari and his wife were relaxing in Italy, just like he’d promised…

Melissa is going to end up with some unfortunate tan lines, but she is smokin’ hot.

I mean, look:

But then Ari got a call from this man. Do we remember who he is? John? He looks like Terrence, but let’s face it – pretty much all old, rich, white men look the same.

Anyway, he offered Ari his job – which I thought was being CEO of a studio, but he also mentioned something about being God. Or having as much money as God? Who knows.

Looks like Ari has a decision to make. Shall we stay tuned for this rumored movie?

Mini Recap: The End

::sniff, sniff::  Oh, hi. Didn't see you there. What? No, I wasn't crying. That sniffling is just allergies. It had nothing to do with seeing Jeremy Piven's passionate performance and then hearing one of my favorite Led Zep songs, honest.

NYC reference count = 3+
Turtle's blue Yankees hat, Eric's distressed Yankees shirt, Eric's framed John Tavares Islanders jersey, plus the many mentions of Sloan and E moving to NYC.

Drama's drama
Drama himself was a reasonable guy, but I am not happy that - with the exception of Ari's epilogue - Drama got the last word of the series.

How Entourage is different from your life
They boys & co. got everything they wanted, and wrapped in a pretty package with a big bow. I don't for one minute believe that Sophia is willing to marry Vince so soon, that Sloan reconsidering E, and that Mrs Ari is reconsidering the "Mrs" title. Ok, so basically, I don't believe that women are as easily swayed as the Entourage writers seem to think that they are.

Hey, isn't that...
Mike Ditka (DA COACH!), Barry Alvarez, Rachel Zoe, and teen opera trio Il Volo.

Best Outfit
Sloan was a vision in her flowing orange dress. Oh, and I know I've never awarded a "Worst Outfit" raspberry, but Melissa Gold's (you know, Mrs. Ari) white number compels me to do so. What the what was going on there?

It's been a fun 8 episode run for YKYLF and Entourage, and Jill will put her own bow on it this Wednesday.

Second to Last - Part 1 of 1 - First on my list

Episode Synopsis: Ok, THIS is more like it. After six ho-hum episodes, Entourage finally gives the people what they want...fast paced storylines with a little bit of drama (but not too much Drama), plus some good news for at least 3/4 of the boys. Vinnie (seemingly) gets the girl, Drama (finally) gets the movie, and Turtle (suprisingly) gets $4 million. As for E...well, he gets a baby. Or not. We'll see how the series finale plays out, which leads me to the one thought that persisted through my head during this entire episode: HOW are they going to tie up all these loose ends in 30 minutes? Is the season finale some sort of 4-hour mega-extravagansa I don't know about, or are they teeing up for the oft-rumored Entourage movie?

See this man? This is a man who loves women. He loves women more than he loves borrowing Billy Walsh's sweaters.

No, really. He made a creepy movie and everything. I think it should have been titled Vincent Chase Loves Women with Perfect Hair and Big Earrings.

Right? This one is a mere step away from Pretty Little Liars level of hair excellence. Also, she's the world's cutest preggo!

All of this is being done to impress a woman who appears in a sleek ponytail and tailored dress, rather than PLL locks and big earrings. I guess Vinnie is changing his ways.

Oh, and isn't her assistant just an adorable little hipster? Rock on with those huge glasses, my friend.

Back at the W Hotel, Ari and Dana's relationship has gone to a new level - they've started dressing alike. The Grey Power Couple makes a fine pair, indeed.

And cut to (formerly happy) White Power Couple. Wait, that sounds really bad. That's not what I meant.

But really, wasn't this so sad? Poor E. Hang on, buddy...it's only going to get worse in about 22 minutes!

"Dude. What are you wearing? Have you officially given up on life?"

"Yes. Also, it's my office and I'll wear a crappy t-shirt and button down if I want. At least I don't have a D.A."

"A D.A.?"

"A Duck's Ass. As in the asinine 1950s hairstyle you insist on wearing."

You tell him, Eric. I was just about to say the same thing.

Hey, look! It's Eric's third post-coital scene of the season! For those of you keeping track, as of this episode it was Vinnie=0, Drama=0, Turtle=0, E=3. Whodda thunk it?

I don't believe Melinda's "not even one syringe" statement in regards to her looks, but I will say she always looks great. This green and white dress is fresh and youthful, yet not too young.

I mean, honestly. Who's the stylin-est one of the bunch? The cougar, that's who.

As for Sloan...she's rocking the long purse trend. Just like her french-roll jeans from "Out With a Bang", I can't get excited about this 80s fashion throwback. I always hated the way those long purses flopped below the waist. And does anyone else remember tying the top of the strap into a knot? No? Was that just a trend at my school?

Let's examine the rest of her outfit. Here we have a black bra peeking through (and above) a white tank. Gee, Sloan...I have no idea why E thinks you're slutty. Nice jacket, though, and your hair looks great. Must be all those pregnancy hormones!

Oh heyyyy Don Peppe dude. You're still here, huh?

And I see your ladyfriend is, too. Oh, and she also has fantastic hair! The dress isn't bad either. It's practically - dare I say - tasteful?

One more look at the boys. I actually like what Drama is wearing. The blue fedora is jaunty and stylish and doesn't compete with the rest of his outfit. Maybe Johnny's Bananas did indeed hire a cast stylist.

Turtle's shirt is hardly worth mentioning. I mean, it's fine, but is it any wonder the Don Peppe people weren't taking him seriously? Apparently he's studied at the Eric Murphy School of Not Dressing Appropriately for Business.

And since we won't be seeing it for too much longer, here's a great shot of Drama's Lincoln outside the Condé Nast building. So striking!

We won't be seeing Lloyd for too much longer, either, and that makes me very sad. Hear that, Lloyd...I'll miss you most of all! You and your charming pocket squares and coordinating (but not matchy-matchy) ties. Sob...

Only one episode left before the boys ride off into the (smog filled) sunset.

Mini Recap: Second to Last

Oh, hey there, Entourage! Nice of you to join us. We're very appreciative of the meaty episode, like so many from seasons gone by.

NYC reference count = 2
Mark Teixeira and A-Rod both chatted with Turtle from the diamond in Yankee Stadium

Drama's drama
Vinnie and Ari hustle to make Drama's sappy made for TV movie a reality.

How Entourage is different from your life
Remember that one time when Turtle made 300K in a day? LOLZ, just joshing...it was actually 4mil.

Hey, isn't that...
Mark Teixeira, Michael Strahan, Alex Rodriguez, Mark Cuban, Amar'e Stoudemire. (And do I even include Johnny Galecki in this count? What about Melinda?)

Best Outfit
Sophia was polished yet adorable in a sleek ponytail and tailored shift dress.

Come back on Wednesday for the second-to-last recap by me, Jen!

The Big Bang - Part 1 of 1 - Melissa!

Episode Synopsis: Vinny is a touch whiney this episode. He's upset he can’t get Sophia in the sack and even more upset about the unfavorable magazine cover story. Waaaah!

If you weren’t already over the Don Peppe plot line, after this week, you will be. The Don Peppe people come out to LA so Turtle can sell them on his dream. Instead, they spend the time avoiding business, complaining, and hunting for celebrities. It’s kind of like watching the in-laws visit, except Turtle doesn’t have a wife with whom to commiserate or eye roll.

Drama and Dice are on strike, and from the looks of their clothing, they're also on strike from shopping. Hand wringing and panic ensue, while stepmother-lover E (cue SNL Justin Timberlake vid) gets a guilty conscience and a Mercedes. Seems like a pretty good deal to me.

Mrs. Ari (that’s Melissa if you're nasty) finds comfort in the arms of Boy Meets Grill, while Ari’s business starts to unravel. It seems that Mrs. Ari Melissa floated $11 million to start Ari’s company. Looks like someone is going to have some trouble in divorce court.

Prepare to be under-whelmed: Here are Drama, E, and Turtle visiting Vin on his photoshoot. Their clothing looks about as boring as their visit to the set. Turtle, I miss your old tacky ways and your baby fat. While I appreciate that you are trying to clean it up a bit, you just aren’t as fun to write about. Sigh.

Vin is looking a bit like a waiter in this white tie and tails combination. I wish the stylist had gone with the dapper Hollywood route. Perhaps a more modern tux would have been nice? I’m sorry but this just isn’t drool worthy at all.

Shauna constantly looks like she is tap dancing between business chic and a floorshow at the Spearmint Rhino. Why does she always have to wear something that is inappropriate for day? Put the tatas away sister. I really love the dress, just not for a daytime work obligation.

Ari is meeting with his lawyer about divorce proceedings. I think this guy doesn’t look jazzy enough to be a Hollywood divorce lawyer. While I totally like his understated ensemble, I just don’t think it screams “expensive.” Don’t you want your lawyer to be really well dressed? That would make me think that he wins his cases. In this case, I think that you would want to judge a book by its cover.

See? This is how it is done. Ari looks amazing. Why on earth would Mrs. Ari want to divorce this?! He is even wearing an Italian style double-breasted suit. I am in love. If I had $11 million lying around, I would totally bail him out of his predicament.

Ari is so upset, that he can’t even insult Babs. Oh let me try!  

Babs, your outfit is uninspired and you need a haircut.

How did I do?

That was fun! Let’s try coming up with something to yell at Lloyd...

** crickets **

Ok, so Lloyd looks too good to mock. I love all of the color that he has been wearing lately.

Is it strange that I am developing a tiny crush on Billy Walsh? First there was his "old man chic" ensemble, now this pirate costume.

Shiver me timbers, I love a man in uniform. I also love that in his current financial condition he can’t afford syrup. Not to worry Billy, I prefer cinnamon and sugar on my French toast.

Drama needs to use this time away from the set to find a stylist. Rachel Zoe probably has oodles of time on her hands now that she had the baby. Her new show hasn’t even started up again yet.

Seriously buddy, hire some help. You’re better than "I'm on strike bitches" shirt. I wish the guy at the t-shirt store would have helped you come up with something a bit more witty. I’m sure Dice could come up with something better. (Just make sure to ask him in Brooklyn Ann-glaz-ee).

Melinda is looking very sultry this week. I adore the outfit and the hair. She looks just sexy enough to still be considered appropriate for day. But is the luxury car and the sexy step-momma action worth the guilt trip? Only time will tell for E.

I really dislike Johnny Galecki. He seems like such a d-bag on this show. I absolutely hate that he claims to be sleeping with Sloan, and I also hate this facial hair. Sloan seems too clean cut to go for this clown. Ugh. Why do girls always go for the bad guy?

Turtle doesn’t seem to have a chance with Team Don Peppe. They are so concerned about celebrity watching. I guess I would be pretty devastated if my only LA sighting was David Spade. What is he even wearing here? The hat! The shirt! The black jeans! It’s all too upsetting.

Although, these two didn’t seem to notice David Spade’s lack of fashion sense. Nope, they are too excited about the Laker game. I can only imagine what they wore to that. Sadly, we didn't get to see, because this is only a half-hour show.

I would like to be Sophia when I grow up. I have a girl crush. Seriously. The hair. The clothing. The accent. Now I see why Vinny is so smitten.

Look! It’s Melissa and Bobby the Barbequing Boy Toy! I hope he's whipping up something tasty because Mrs. Ari is skin and bones. Please feed this poor woman.

I vote that Mrs. Ari ditches Bobby and gets herself a subscription to Food Network Magazine. For as spicy as his food is, his fashion is terribly dull. Let's just hope his knives aren't, as Operation Feed Melissa still needs to be carried out.

Good thing that she is wearing red. Mrs. Ari Melissa (sorry, old habits die hard) is so thin that she almost disappeared into the kitchen. Without the vibrant dress, I wouldn’t have been able to find her.

Thank goodness that Johnny’s Bananas was saved!! Here’s hoping that “cast stylist” was written into the newly finalized contracts. Although if the network does hire a stylist for the show, Hawaii’s economy might suffer. I hear that Hawaiian shirts are their chief export, and it looks like Drama is their number one client.