This week in #23, we get a whole new b**** (honestly ABC FCC. If you insist on blocking out quasi-naughty words, then so will we). When June has a minor breakdown over showing up unemployed and jilted to a friend's wedding (I feel you June), Chloe decides to take June under her wing and teach her the Ways of the b****. But the student starts getting awesomer than the master (vodka launches with The Beek!) and the master gets kind of annoyed and jealous and takes Kevin Sorbo to a wedding as revenge. And doesn't tell B-lite that her cheating ex will be at the party. But under it all, we kind of learn that Chloe is a b**** with a heart of gold.
Can we take a moment to talk about something before we get into the fashion? Because when we deal weekly with the man who brought us this:
I feel we need to talk about it. There were two ways his post-Creek career could have gone:
1. Dancing with the Stars
2. Make like NPH and get all self-referential and make fun of Dancing with the Stars.
I'm really happy Dawson The Beek chose the latter, as it brings us this:
Which is probably why a few of staffers are questioning our loyalty to Pacey (bahahahaha...not really. But we are re-thinking our stance on Dawson Leery). But pretend Dancing with the Stars and pretend Guy Ritche movies? You are making up for your days of being a lame gif, Mr. The Beek.
Okay, now that I've told you how much I'm enjoying that part of the show, how about with discuss what those two fabulous b*****es wore this week. Because it's like wardrobe reads YKYLF and realized that June waking up with perfect hair was ridiculous.
Not that they are beyond ridiculous things. Becuase seriously? The white faschinator with the navy dress?
It's just not working for me. Or for Chloe. And if Krysten Ritter can't sell it, who can?
For a girl who is unemployed and living in an improbably large New York apartment, June has some awfully nice suits.
I know she's trying to get some kind of financial sector job during a massive recession and all, but I really figure most of us would look like the former roommate (who, by the way, is wearing the cutest sweatshirt. Where can I get one of those?). Because it seems to me, one would be more jeans and a t-shirt and re-thinking career plans than super chic and tailored suit.
At least the tailored suit kept her looking a little put together during her wedding invite breakdown.
Chloe, on the other hand, in her morning/late afternoon attire strikes me as a b****ier version of Holly Golightly. I like it. I mean, Holly Golightly is fun, but think how much more fun she'd be if she were a total b****! There'd still be cute feather slippers with heels and parties and day drinking, and doing it with some of the best robes (which, could she talk to Blair Waldorf about getting yourself a good robe?).
Of course, Chloe would be way nastier than Holly Golightly and maybe even more fun at a party. At least that's what their party dresses and b****y expressions say to me when they are all up in the club.
Chloe's black dress with the blue skinny belt wins over June's pink number.
As mentioned earlier, tonight's episode was about teaching June How To Be a B****. It's all about George Clooney. Like you've got him between your legs, like you're ordering him a drink and like you're dancing with him. June wasn't the only one learning a lesson. I learned that maybe my approach to ordering drinks isn't the best. I should be making this face:
But instead I end up with the one Chloe describes as "ordering appetizers at Nifty O'Shannigans".
I should practice this in front of the mirror.
Since we're rolling with the idea that these questionably employed ladies can afford this apartment, I'd like to see the magic closet Chloe has going on. Becuase she has the best party dresses.
Maybe she rents out an extra closet/normal sized apartment to house her dresses. Even her casual wear is kind of kicky and fun.
It'd be nice if she lent a dress to June.
Or at least sat her down to explain to her why accessorizing with glow sticks is never a good idea unless you're one of those kids at Coachella who deck themselves out in glow stick.
Although, I do need to give June serious props for this dance outfit:
It's like she's a full size version of Day-to-Night-Barbie! Which is awesome! B****y New York June is kind of great. Which is why she is far better off with this platonic date, and not this guy
I feel like Steven is attempting to layer a la Nolan. Someone needs to tell him that those many layers are a master class in style. One he's totally not ready for.
I though Chloe could do better if she needed a C-list celebrity to enter a room with. If you're going to cook up a scam to have a celebrity on your arm, maybe do one better than Kevin Sorbo? He's such a dated extra on the set.
No matter, both Chloe and June rocked those dresses. Chloe is once again for the win with her red heels.
The silver on June still feel like a safe choice since her teal number has silver on the bodice.
(Note to self: singing Alanis Morrissette at a wedding where you're trying to make a point to your ex? Not appreciated by the band or the crowd).
And the neighbours? Well, Eli is bringing the funk*:
*not actually bringing any funk.
And James? He takes his responsibility as a celebrity seriously. Which is why he had to sleep with the bride.
Total b**** move. He has no doubt studied under the Master.