unmAsked - Part 1 of 3 - Hey, You Going To The Ball?

Friends, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the Hamptons and sort of forgot about the crazy revenge (!!!) that goes down in Rosewood. After many (MANY) teasers, tricks, twists and turns, we’ve finally discovered who’s behind A’s reign of terror. How many of y’all picked Mona? Anyone? I mean, I knew she was crazy after seeing her earring collection over the past two season, but a murderer? I don’t care if it’s on sale, I’m not buying. But hey, some of y’all may have found it satisfying and besides, a masquerade for the Rosewood Junior Society? Hello, pretty dresses! If only the girls actually had a happy ending - apparently there’s still an “A-Team” (can they use that?) out there who may have killed Maya? And who was the Black Swan (can they use that)? If all that wasn’t enough to chew on, now Jenna can see and, well... just make sure your fan is off before anything hits it.

As usual, the girls meet up in Spencer’s kitchen for an A debrief. I can never tell if it’s before school or not but either way, they look ferocious. And then there’s Melissa. Poor, bitter, unbalanced Melissa who apparently goes wild for toffee frozen yogurt. She was bland even before Ian died, so how does a girl like Spencer have a sister who dresses like Melissa? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with her robe cardigan and that burgundy colour is great on her - but compared to Spencer she looks like a bored housewife. And if you’re so smart, how come you can’t tell the difference between peanut butter and toffee?

Mad, mad, mad love is going on for this dress in my apartment right now. Aria usually kills it, but this is exceptional. The belt, the costume earrings and of course, this psychedelic, not quite paisley but a whole lot of something (plus it’s shiny!) mini dress is worth a whole month of “yeah, girl!” compliments. I don’t have one snarky thing to say - which is great because the rest of Aria’s looks aren’t so flaw free.

For example, the t-shirt with the tassels? I’m sorry darlin’, but Woodstock happened 43 years ago, why don’t you snip those bad boys off? I appreciate what she’s going for, I love a good rocker throwback, but Aria’s missing the mark and trying to lasso herself back with that tattered t-shirt ain’t gonna work. Can we talk about the boots? Whose bed have those been under? A cast member from Rocky Horror? Don’t get me wrong, I love some Rocky Horror action but they’re swallowing Aria.

At this point, I’ve given up with trying to figure out Emily. She seems to have abandoned the Flashdance inspired t-shirts (whose demise I feel YKYLF had a part in) and now balances her days with oversized snuggies and drop-dead leather jackets. Aria’s turquoise jacket was alright, but Emily’s wine coloured number is just beautiful. If people didn’t know she was a total pushover, I bet she’d be a total butch girl.

Surprisingly, Hanna was kind of boring this week. Usually you can count on her for some sass and spitfiring - especially with her wardrobe - but all we get is a glance of this beaded top

And this Working Girl inspired outifit. Paired with her black trench and an enormous collar that I’m pretty sure protects Rosewood from floods, I was left pretty uninspired. What happened to the catty bitch of the group? Has A finally worn you down?

It doesn’t matter (too much) if Hanna dropped the ball this week because there were moments like these to make up for it. Spencer Hastings, the borderline genius with a flair for Ivy League fashion. Anyone else dying over the knee high boots and creamy coat she’s rocking? Oh, and what’s that beneath it all? Is that a simple crew neck sweatshirt. YES IT IS. Man, I love this girl.

After their huddle at Fitz’s old apartment, the PLLers discover a super sketched out motel where Alison may have stayed before she died and where A may have followed her. And since caution has been thrown so far into the wind not even Aria’s tassels could hope to rope it back, the girls stay the night at the murdermotel. Not wasting anytime, Team Sparia breaks into the clerk’s office to steal the register.

While the cold and wet Team Hamily just chills before Hanna takes a shower. A shower? After falling in the mud? Girl, your clothes are still a mess and you’re going to be hanging ‘round in a towel. Just sayin’.

But if the girls are in the woods searching some flea infested dump, what’s A up to in Rosewood? Well, apparently meeting with the miraculously sighted Jenna who’s traded her oversized dark glasses for slightly smaller dark glasses. We get it. You’re dark. How about cracking a smile?

Oh, and Mona (who’s really A!!!), tried to get the PLLers to go shopping. Obviously they ditch her because she’s totes annoying and over the top. I mean, look at that ring! Somewhere there is a crane missing its wrecking ball. You could easily rob a bank with that piece of jewelry. Does anyone need anymore evidence of this bitch being crazy? 

If These Dolls Could Talk - 2 of 4 - Usual (A) Suspects

Less than a week to go to A-Day and I have zero clue about who A is. Ann and I were discussing it on the Twitter and getting nowhere. I figure it's going to be someone I didn't see coming. It'll go all Veronica Mars-y, Keyser Söze on me and A will be a total shocker, but it'll make 100% sense after the reveal. At least that's what I'm hoping for. In the meantime, I'm going to use the handy ABCFamily hashtags to tip me off to suspects.

#IsMelissaA

Probably not. I think she's probably just a bitch who has THE WORST taste in men. While she can't pick a decent dude to save her life, she can pick an amazing coat. Nice work, Melissa. You are one stylish pregnant lady. You were probably just in the wrong place in the wrong time when Mona decided to kiss Caleb.

Speaking of Mona...

#IsMonaA

Y'all, I'm not even sure Mona is getting texts from A. Hear me out. 1) I doubt A does Daytime Glam (also, she should leave that to the ladies with the Magic Closets). 2) I think Mona is just trying to break Hanna and Caleb up. She's no Caleb fan...or is she?? Because if I could use a mysterious texter to get me a chance to make out on his face I TOTALLY WOULD (I don't even care if it's a lousy BFF move. I'd do it).

But my guess is she just wants them broken up so she can hang with her bestie again. Because you don't wear this jacket to make out with a dude you like.

What is that trim? Is she going to start yodelling? Regardless of what her plans are for the rest of the evening, she really shouldn't have paired that jacket with those pants.

Great jeans. Love the cobalt blue. But not with the Lonely Goat Herder jacket.

#IsJennaA

This one just seems too obvious. Also, would A really wear a sheer, beaded top with the long jacket?

Okay, I have no idea if A would wear that. I hope A would dress better. I'd say Jenna's excuse for that top is she's blind...or is she?!?

It appears she's totally seeing everything. So that leaves me to believe she's using the blind thing to hold on to Toby in front of Spence (bitch move). And that she's had something to do with Ali's death (super illegal bitch move).

The not blind thing is probably why she wears her sunglasses at night - to hide the fact that SHE CAN TOTALLY SEE from poor, sweet, Toby.

#IsAlisonA

That hashtag needs to be #IsAlisonDead, because dead girls do not root through her former belongings and help themselves to some painkillers.

They also do not wear such lovely white leather jackets. I'm not usually a fan of white leather, but it's so different from the usual leather jacket on TV (yes vampires, I'm looking at you) that I'm going to give the dead girl who is possibly blackmailing her friends from the grave via text message some props.

Cute details on the arm too.

If These Dolls Could Talk - 4 of 4 - Top Five Creepiest Moments

So, this episode was so over the top creepy that I had to share these moments with you. If you had been on the Twitter with Ann, Lauren and I on Monday, you would have seen our reactions to these. They were mostly "WTF!"

5. Melissa + Garrett K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Creepy because she's such a bitch and because he's so darn skeezy and stalkery. And they were both in Alison's room the night she was "killed"

4. SHE IS NOT ACTUALLY BLIND.

Girlfriend has magical lips, because moments before killing a fly and showing us she can totally see, Jenna was cleaning off her lipstick. So this is her natural lip colour? I can't wait for this girl to make bitchfaces.

3. Payment in creepy lollipops

This kid is straight up Damian, Children of the Corn, Flowers in the Attic creepy. His only payment from A for being so creepy to the Liars? A giant creepy lollipop. My guess is that he grows up to be a serial killer. Or an A.

2. The Doll Hospital

For so many reasons. Not just the flower in the attic kid who peers out the window at the Liars.

1. The Murdered Little Liar Doll.

You're trying to avoid nightmares after this doll talks to you (if only I knew how to make a gif of the creepiness!). A, you have gone too far - because now I'm scared to watch with the lights out. Also, I don't expect that Murdered Little Liar Doll will be a hit during the holidays.

It's no wonder it garnered the following reactions.

Although, nice jacket, Ems. You may veer towards boring, but you always bring it with the leather jackets. And I know you're kind of fearing for your life and all, but I'd like to take a moment to say cute t-shirt.

Yeah, that would be the reactions your YKYLF staffers had on the Twitter on Monday. Sheer terror thanks to one seriously creepy doll.

And with that, let the countdown begin to A-Day and getting the pants scared off of us. Shit's about to get real. Because as Ali would say:

Father Knows Best - Part 2 of 2 - The Worst

I'm not sure what to make of Melissa's newfound holey knits obsession, but I do know Spencer should under no circumstances go live with her.

I think I've professed my love for Spencer's preppy style one too many times. Suffice to say, I am in love with this outfit.

Spencer needs to teach Emily how to pull off oversized sweaters, because she did so flawlessly here.

And Emily could help Spencer out in the dress department. Short, tight, shiny, and boa-feathered? Not sure why ultra-preppy Spencer would choose this for a father-daughter dance. It did, unfortunately, land her in the Worst-dressed category (although her other outfits were fab).

She redeems herself with this outfit. Fantastic wool coat and lace-up boots.

Once again, PLL brings the dramz and we YKYLF staffers forget that the cast of this show actually wears clothes. Which is how I overlooked Aria's completely ridiculous ensemble. Maxi leopard print skirt and starry scarfshirt? Where does Aria FIND these things? I can't imagine she was able to bring that many clothes back from Iceland...

That's a chandelier print dress, and it's the weirdest, most Aria-like thing I've ever seen.

Love the very on-trend burgundy skinnies, and am guessing the shirt is Ezra's, because we all know the PLLs like to wear their boyfriend's clothes.

I'm not really sure what's going on with her belt, but her shirt has a very Christopher Kane-esque vibe to it, so I'm going to go with it.

Personally, I'd rather freeze than wear my dead best friend's coat, but hey, that's just me.

So who is the mysterious (obviously hot, because this is PLL) guy who mistook Aria for Vivian? What was Aria thinking, wearing Ali's old coat? Why are there broken dolls in a Doll Hospital's window? Will the PLL moms find A before the girls do? Is Melissa crazy and capable of murder? What the heck is up with Spencer's dad? Where's Maya? And perhaps most importantly, WHO IS A? We're getting close, folks!!

Breaking the Code - Part 1 of 3 - R U A?

Much like Kate last week, I was so caught up in the dramz that I didn't notice a lot of the fashion until a second viewing. Now, that's some SERIOUS DRAMZ because I didn't notice several NOTABLE FASHION PIECES this week, but we'll get into that in a bit.
So, this week on THE SCARIEST SHOW ON TV: Mona's being harassed by A (or is she secretly A and pretending to be harassed?) which brings her closer to Hanna. Emily is sad Maya's gone MIA (or is she secretly A?) which brings her closer to Crazy Paige. Aria comes clean to her friends about Ezra (IS HE A?) and then he totally dumps her. Spencer gets drunk and makes a pass at Cute Wren (IS HE A??) and then goes off to possibly be killed by Melissa (WHO IS PROBABLY A!!). Oh, and Ashley and Ella form the beginnings of Pretty Little Liars, Sr., as they finally notice their daughters have been stalked/harassed for like 10 years now.

This week brings the usual amount of creeptastic "A" suspects, starting with Skeezy Garrett and his M&Ms of doooooom:

Remember Ian and his creepy breakfast foods habit? The milk glass of doom? Did the NAT club sit around like ANTM contestants, practicing their best angles for creepy stalker eating/drinking?

Flashback Melissa is like, "Am I late for NAT snacktime? Dammit, I was really craving M&MS."

Cute outfit/terrifying body language. Have we seen Spencer wearing that belt? Maybe Melissa turned into "A" because she got fed up with Spencer borrowing her prepster accessories. Anyway, this screencap is creepy as anything, so I don't blame the PLLS for being like: 

Melissa is straight up creepy, you guys. I have serious concerns about Spencer leaving with her at the end of the episode.

And not just because she's wearing a matching skirt and scarf. Or is it all one thing? A shirtscarf? Either way, it's straight up fug and she can't blame pregnancy hormones because SHE'S TOTALLY EVIL.

Mona may not be totally evil, but she's totally suspicious this week. Why would A suddenly begin picking on her, unless she's secretly in league with A and trying to gain Hanna's trust? Anyway, her first outfit was That's So Mona:

Weirdly fitting green camo skirt with one of Spencer's preppy belts and one of Ashley's silk blouses? That's So Mona!

Trying to decide between fug...

... and fuglier?

That's So Mona!

That's also the ugliest dress ever. I don't blame Hanna for being like, "Whatevs, they're both cute," because Mona needs a military-scale fashion intervention to save her style. Hanna has more important things to do than try and talk some sense into the girl considers this drapery nightmare any sort of option.

The more freaked out Mona gets about A, the curlier her hair gets and the weirder her outfits become. She was in full-on 80s drag the next day at school...

To be fair, so was everybody else. Clearly it was Messed Up 80s Cocktail Dress Day at Rosewood, but we'll get into that in Part 2. And 3. (OH MY GOD ARIA)

Emily had the (welcome?) return of her former psycho stalker/bully/closeted girlfriend, Crazy Paige!

Paige looks SO much cuter with her bob grown out. Her low-key outfit complements Emily's laidback style. I don't know if I'm shipping Em/Paige because Maya was so creepy last week, or if it's because Paige was so cute this week. But Crazy Eyes pulled out all the stops to woo her gay mentor. Too bad about that unfortunately-timed kiss, though.

Speaking of awkward moments, Spencer gave Aria a run for her money by going after her own older man.

Hey, at least we know this guy's not A, right? 

OK, OK, so Spencer actually put the moves on Dr. Wren, bringing us as close as possible to gratuitous male shirtlessness this week.

He's so cute, you guys. I mean, look how happy he is getting hit on by Drunk!Spencer (but what human being wouldn't have a grin like that if they were in his position?)

Remember she's like, 16 or something, bro. #jailbait

I'm glad Wren brought the cuteness this week, because it was not a very stylish week for the menfolk. Ezra, you broke Aria's heart; then you wear a jacket with patches on the elbows? 

Aria, sweetie? You're better off without him. Seriously. Elbow patches? On a khaki Members Only-ish jacket? Really? I'm horrified not only that he's wearing that, but that someone sewed that, and a store sold it. Ultimately, however, Ezra was the one to purchase it, which tells you everything you need to know about his taste.

Holden can do martial arts, Aria! And he would never wear a jacket like this. #justsayin