CTRL: A - Part 2 of 2 - Moms and Boys

Hands down, Ashley is the best dressed mom on the small (or maybe even silver) screen. She even has a tailored apron. I secretly wish we could see what she would look like as an old lady to see if she still dresses as well or if she becomes a tracksuit grandma. I bet it's the former...

Ashely Benson and Laura Leighton are mother and daughter. Well no, not really, but don't they look completely related?! The same look on their faces, same murderous gleam in their eyes, leather jackets. What more do you need to signify mother-daughter bond? 

Then we see Ella. I swear she is always wearing the same outfit. Aria hasn't rubbed off on her yet?

Maya completely annoyed me this episode. From her outfit to her lying to Emily, she gets my vote off the island. Oh wait, wrong show. Sorry. 

But did the wardrobe department really have to dress her right out of the 70s because she was smoking pot? 

Caleb. My love. In addition to him scouring vintage shops for his incredible selection of t-shirts, I'm pretty sure he is sneaking off to Sally Hershberger for $500 haircuts because his hair is getting the PLL treatment. Must be because he is an honorary member? 

SO. CUTE. Can I be Hanna? Puh-lease! 

I can never decide what my feelings toward Jason are. Do I like him? Do I not? Do I like his hair? Do I not? So many questions. Maybe if he got rid of his fake bake then I could really decide...

I'm a more decisive when it comes to Holden. Such a cutie. Those PLL writers and casting directors knew what they were doing when adding new male eye candy to the show. 

A Kiss Before Lying: Part 1 of 2 - Pants on Fire

So. Many. Little. Plots. This must be a sign they're about to wrap it up with a neat little A coloured bow (and then unravel it all with a whole pile of new secrets and lies). Some of those little plots include, but are not limited to: Caleb is still trying to help the Liars uncover the secrets of A's phone and they're shutting Hanna out. Of course Hanna figures it out and gets justifiably uppity. A is threatening Hanna about the money in the lasagna box again. Spencer knows Kate's deepest darkest camp secrets. Maya is possibly up to something, or just really bitchy to Emily's mom, but it's okay because they love each other and they possibly DO IT. Holden still has secrets. Kate has started at Rosewood and A isn't about to let her and Hanna play nice.

You'd think these Liars would have figured something out by now: the more you lie, the deeper the shit you get into. So, liars, liars, pants on fire, they gather round the laptop at Spencer's and they don't tell Hanna.

Of course that will end super well. It always does. Their choices of what to wear when playing video spy is all over the map. Associate Liar Caleb is wearing the t-shirt that is for a band you've probably never heard of (which is probably why I can't easily find it online) because he's that much cooler than you. And clearly a better dresser than Emily, who wore yet another drab henley not even worth showing you a picture of. But Aria and Spencer? Oh those ladies can't just kick back and watch recovered creepy vidz without bringing the style and/or the crazy. Let's start with the style.

Nice one Spence. Nice. I can't figure out the print, I think it's some kind of bee, but whatever it is, I like it. Super cute. And totally keeping it together despite being super sad in the face about Toby giving back his truck. And possibly disappearing. It's hard to say. He could just be holed up at home with a book and not returning calls. It's not like he's missing class or anything.

Now for the crazy. 

I. CAN'T. EVEN. BEGIN. Actually, I can. The top looks like something I believed to be super cool in 1987 and she apears to have ribbons or giant strips of fabric hanging from her ears. What's up with that, Aria? Because feathers aren't cool anymore, so you need to take it to the next level?

She keeps the crazy going for lunch the next day with what appears to be a cross between a sweater worn for a third grade class portrait and insane après-ski wear. 

Spencer is also looking like she's going for après-ski. Except, for cafeteria breakfast during a season I'm not sure I can pinpoint because Rosewood appears to be devoid of seasons (that's it. I'm moving to Pennsylvania). I'm going to give her a pass on the turtleneck because it appears she's wearing it to hide the Tobyshirt underneath. 

The Liars are clearly friends of the YKYLF staff room, because they make judgey faces as well as any of us can over Spencer's decision to mourn her breakup by wearing her boyfriend's underclothes.

However, I'd like to remind them of one thing: Glass houses, ladies. GLASS. HOUSES. You wear a dress that that doesn't do nice things to your boobs and shows off your bra or you wear an insane heart motif poncho and you lose a lot the judgey leg you had to stand on.

Particularly if you decided the things that make that heart motif poncho complete are leggings as pants and some kind of giant bedazzled bow on your head.

Aria, WHAT? You are straight up giving me an eye twitch with your fashion choices. Not like Spencer is any better. Because any style points I gave her earlier, I take away and dock her another 10 because of this crime against hats.

No. Nononono. And definitely not what that fair isle sweater vest. Yes, the palettes are the same, but no, they are not matching. At all. And I don't care if the hat sort of matches Emily's only interesting t-shirt of the entire episode. It's still not okay.

I need to take a break and fetch my smelling salts. Or look at Caleb. He's as effective as smelling salts.

Dude must have a line on a killer vintage clothing store, because you can't buy denim shirts that worn in. And you can't just wear that in yourself. Not unless you're putting it in the washing machine with rocks or something. No, that's the kind of worn in look only seasoned vintage clothes hunters can find. Nice work, my friend. You can use my shower anyday and afterwards, tell me the secrets to finding the perfect vintage denim.

In addition to perfect denim shirts, these Liars are pros at finding the perfect leather jackets. I don't even know where one starts, but Aria and Emily  clearly has it all figured out.

Aria is rocking the perfect leather jacket like she just stepped off the set of Vampire Diaries. Let's compare that to Emily's leather.

Girlfriend's wearing that leather like she's friends with at least three vampires. It turns a boring tank top into something so much better.

Unlike Emily's leather choices, she knows how to make that sucker fancy. The secret is sparkle. Even if you are on a pretend date.

Hot. Not a fan of the leopard print belt. In fact, I hate it a lot. But I'm going to focus on the idea of that sparkly top with a bad ass motorcycle style jacket and pretend I didn't see the belt.

Speaking of pretend dates, I think this show could use some more Holden. He's adorable, he knows what weird pizzas Aria prefers (half plain, half green pepper?), he has secrets (I call fight club. Because everyone knows what the first rule of that is), and most importantly, he's age appropriate.

But someone needs to introduce him to Caleb. Because the kid needs better t-shirts.

And maybe get him a leather jacket. Because I know it does wonders for Emily's t-shirts that are almost interesting.

Frankly, I'm hoping now that she and Maya are totes in love and most likely DOING IT, that Maya's style will rub off. Or she'll at least borrow some of her clothes. Because I dug the red top Maya wore to dinner with mom. Super cute colour blocking happening on the sleeves and the ropey necklace was the perfect accessory for it. And that girl has an arm party that's off the charts.

While most would tell her to tone it down or risk becoming the next Vanessa Abrams, I say: the more the merrier at the arm party.

I don't love all Maya's accessories though. This thing looks like some amulet from a fantasy novel I couldn't be bothered to finish reading. Like if she holds it up to the light, it'll summon dragons or elves.

 

And why, might you ask, is Maya hanging out in my Pants on Fire portion of this post? BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST HER. She's not telling us something about what's in those texts. Either she's in cohoots with someone, she's still dating a dude (Noel, perhaps?) or A's got her number and is telling her to say super bitchy and awkward things to Emily's mom. I'm leaning towards the last one. But either way, she's lying about something.

As for the ladies who definitely lied to their friends, Spencer does go back to being normal and kind of stylish with her casual wear. This red henley isn't anything to write home about it, but it layers real well over Toby's shirt, which is probably why she chose it.

However, the red sleeve looks mega cute hanging out from her trench coat sleeve.

 

Man. That's a bitchin' trench. Love the quarter length sleeve, love the crispness and love the swing to it. Because seriously? If you're going to be solving mysteries, you need a good trench. It's like Mystery Fashion 101: Outerwear  (with professor Carolyn Keene).

Sadly, Spencer missed the class on "velvet pants that match your blouse are not a good idea", because whaaaat in the what is happening here:

 

Spencer, that outfit is not okay. Maybe the blouse with jeans.  Maybe the belt with something else. But with rusty coloured velvet pants? How do you even decide to buy such a thing? And then how do you make the call first thing in the morning that says,  "yes. Today is velvet pants day." You'd think her friends would tell her the pants aren't okay, but A is determined to see her fool ass prancing about in those things, which is why A timed his/her mass text from Hanna to the entire school so she'll be too preoccupied to change AND everyone will be staring at her ugly ass pants.

Because you know they're not staring at her friends. Emily is boring, Aria doesn't actually look even a little bit crazy in that dress and Hanna's red blouse with a bow is downright delightful.

So, nicely done, A. It's kind of your least creepy pranks. But Spencer did need to learn a lesson about those pants. Too bad it'll be quicly overshadowed by your next trick, seeing as you've decided it's time to introduce a gun to the plot. Because you know what happens when you introduce a gun to the story?

IT HAS TO GO OFF. (That's like some literature rule. I swear it is).

Over My Dead Body - Part 2 of 2 - Hey there, Pretty Eyes!

So, basically, anybody on this show could be A, right? Literally ANYBODY. Because that clue the waitress gives about "pretty eyes" could work for just about anyone.

Let's work through this week's suspects, shall we?

Exhibit A (ahem, pardon the pun): Alison herself!

She may or may not have been a hallucination that appeared to Emily after the incident with the car and the gas in the garage. She was wearing a pretty un-Alison sort of outfit, with boots, jeans and a pretty tank. Usually she's all Sookie'd out in sundresses and things, but this outfit is fairly practical.

Does that mean Emily was dreaming of Alison dressing like her, or does it mean that Alison has started wearing pants? Who knows?

Eyes: Pretty. Other clues? Has name beginning with the letter A. Possible obstacle to being A? She is dead. (... OR IS SHE?)

Exhibit B: Maya!

The world's oldest teenager reappeared again this week, to tell Emily that she wants to just be friends for the time being. I don't know how convincing that argument is when you're wearing a see-through shirt with a visible black bra.

Eyes: Pretty. Other clues? Was she really off at Bible camp this whole time, or was she lurking around being A? Possible obstacle to being A: she has real feelings for Emily, and I can't imagine her wrecking Emily's swim team career with steroids.

Exhibit C: Jackie!

Ezra's ex is behaving like a crazy person, trying to get him back by whatever means necessary. And she thought nobody would notice her plagiarized French paper? Has she met Detective Spencer Hastings?

This meh purple top and meh jeans really are no competition for Aria's wackadoo wardrobe. If you're trying to steal a guy from a girl with 10-tonne earrings, I think you need to step it up in the style department.

Eyes? Meh. Other clues? Meh. Obstacles to being A? She'd be messing with Aria way more if she was A. Aria's really come out unscathed, for the most part, by A's schemes.

Exhibit D: Jason!

Alison's (and maybe Spencer's?) hottie ex-underwear model debuted a shorter 'do this week that made him look kind of like he wandered in from the set of a 2004 episode of One Tree Hill.

I mean, he looks cute, but less cute. Somehow. I think he may need to go shorter, or something. Or take off his shirt...yeah...he needs to just take off his shirt. 

Eyes: Pretty-ish. Other clues: General stalkerishness, mysterious goings-on in his house. Obstacles to being A: if he was A, he could force Aria to break up with Ezra to be with him. Which hasn't happened. Also, he seems kinda nice.

Exhibit E: Ezra!

Aria's boyfriend/ex-teacher may seem squeaky clean, but he did show up in Rosewood at the same time that A started stalking the girls. He used to wear suits and vests as a high school teacher, but now is a jeans-wearing college professor.

Looks more like a college student than a professor, but whatevs. Eyes? Pretty. Other clues? See above re: appeared in Rosewood at the same time that A began creeping. Aria gets less hassles than the other PLLs, indicating A may like her best. Obstacles to being A? The show's writers would be massacred by angry Ezria fans if it turns out their entire relationship was a lie.

Exhibit F: Toby

Spencer's (ex-)BF casually mentioned that his brake lines were cut, as if that wasn't OBVIOUSLY the work of somebody out to get him. And then he weirdly starts wondering, out of nowhere, what their babies would look like? I'm a fan of Toby's usually, but he was weirdly creepy this week.

And on top of that, he wore this out-of-character and wildly unattractive purple button-down shirt to visit Spencer in jail. 

Eyes: Pretty. Other clues: Weird behaviour this week. Befriended first Emily, then Spencer, indicating a need to get close to the PLLs one way or another. May blame them for sending him to jail over The Jenna Thing. Obstacles to being A: Wants to rebuild his reputation after being accused of killing Ali, so why would he mess that up through psychological warfare with the PLLs?

Exhibit G: Garrett and Jenna.

This is an obvious choice, after their scene this week where they seemed to be confessing to something... but what? Killing Ali? Placing the anonymous call that trapped the PLLs with the shovel? These two are either A, working for A, working with A, Ali's killers, or just two deeply creepy people.

And Garrett, for the first time, looked kind of hot to me this week. Maybe it's because we now know he's truly, truly evil and only became a cop for nefarious reasons?

And I'd like to mention because I haven't yet, that Garrett used to be on a Canadian/Australian sci-fi teen soap called Guinevere Jones playing the reincarnation of Lancelot. And I still harbor some resentment towards him for stealing the reincarnation of Guinevere from the reincarnation of Arthur. Basically, I always knew he was up to no good, so this week's reveal wasn't that big a surprise. 

Oh, and Jenna still has the prettiest hair of any blind girl on TV. And a fabulous sense of style for someone who can't see what she's putting on in the morning. Does Toby help her pick out her outfits? Or are they somehow done up with Braille?

Eyes: Garrett - pretty. Jenna - covered in sunglasses and scarred (or are they??). Other clues? EVERYTHING. Obstacles to being A: they seem like an obvious choice now, and the show wouldn't be that obvious. (...OR WOULD IT?)

Wildcards:

Any of these tertiary characters could be A, but that would just be weird.

Officer McCreepy!

He's baaack! Remember him? He's the police officer who was obsessed with proving the PLLs killed Ali, and then started sleeping with Hanna's Mom until he disappeared off the show for basically an entire season. Remember him? I only do because I recapped the pilot a few months ago.

Ashley is like, "Ugh, I had forgotten about him too. Please don't let us have any scenes together."

Dr. Wren!

He has pretty eyes! He behaves inappropriately and has reasons for wanting Spencer to break up with Toby. Plus, his British accent could be construed as being somewhat evil, in a James Bond villain sort of way.

Isabelle!

OK, there's basically no way that she's A, but I wanted to include this picture of her in her wedding dress that Hanna puked on last week. Yay for dry-cleaning! [I thought Tom (maybe? or someone else) said that they had cleaned Isabelle's dress...but this isnt the same one from last week...plot continuity mistake? --Ed. Kate]

Caleb!

He has pretty eyes (and a pretty everything else) but I'm pretty sure he isn't A for the same reasons that I've excluded Ezra and Toby. The fans would FREAK! OUT! if any of these boys were shown to be A. And the psychological manipulation A uses seems like it would come from a girl, somehow.

And Caleb got his hair cut this week too, I think. Like Jason, it wasn't a good decision and I hope he takes lots of vitamins to grow it back out to mid-90s Jordan Catalano lengths ASAP. And then takes off his shirt. Call me!

And I will see you bitches for the Halloween special, which CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH! - A

I Must Confess - Part 2 of 2 - I Must Be a Supporting Character

Let's start off this section with the most amazing creation of gown that ever existed, shall we? Actually I don't even have words...

Not that I'm congratulating myself (well, ok I am) but isn't this shot of twirling Hanna so cool?! Too bad that this was right before she barfed all over it. 

I would like to take this moment now to compare these two moms. Both wear bland, boring, neutral colors but if you must do so also take Ashley's lead. Her dress and jacket are tailored perfectly and that shade of gray contrasts nicely with her red hair. Ella, on the other hand, wears a baggy, shapeless top, and the color does not complement her features at all. Thumbs down. 

This image of Ashley having a glass of wine with her microwave dinner was just the most depressing thing I have ever seen.
Dear God,
please don't let me grow up into this. 
Love,
Kate 

Dr. Sullivan is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters. Not only for her no-nonesense, yet accepting-of-everyone attitude; but for her impeccable style. Highly appropriate for a psychologist with a little trendy thrown in the mix. I really hope 'A' didn't actually kill her...

Jenna is finally wearing some color but can we just get rid of these sunglasses already?? I don't mean to be inappropriate here, but how does a blind girl get hair this fabulous?? How much would it be to hire the PLL hairstylists full-time for my personal, everyday use? Can't be too expensive, right?

This Kate girl reminds me so much of Katie Cassidy, my mind can't help to wander and be slightly sad that they canceled the Melrose Place remake--I was probably the one of four people who watched it. Anywho, I love the purple top but purple and black together? Not loving it. Girls with the name "Kate" really should know how to style themselves better...I demand a re-wardrobing for this girl! 

The return of Maya. Looks like she lost some accessories and that Vanessa Abrams-ness at boot camp or rehab or wherever she was. 

Garrett looks really creepy. He wears the blues a lot better than this off-duty look. 

Regina! Best dressed Grandma. Ever. She knows what works and sticks to it. Even that visitor badge on blue jacket looks pretty fab. 

Alison always looks perfect. No wonder the girls all secretly hated her. 

In my mini-recap I said we had zero male shirtlessness, but as I was gathering my screenshots I came across this little tidbit of male skin. I can't believe Spencer's dad didn't notice that Toby's shirt was mostly unbuttoned--what did he think Spencer and Toby were doing?? 

Keep Your Friends Close - Part 2 of 2 - Those Kept Close

Ok, I'm gonna say it...I think Alison has the best hair on the show. Let the debate begin. 

If this was the day I was going to steal a purse-ful of money from an old lady (albeit secretly and within the confines of a bank) I think I would have chosen an outfit a little more exciting. At least added some sleek leather gloves!

I love Ezra and his little vests. And icing on the cake, his leather messenger bag is perfection. YUM. 

Khaki-colored jeans. Enough said. 

Look at how the light perfectly illuminates Ian as he steps through the door. I did NOT mean to get a screencap this good. He certainly is no angel, as we soon found out. 

I never did understand the combination of a tank top and boots. If it's cold enought to wear boots, then how is it warm enought to wear a sleeveless shirt? Don't you run the risk of sweaty feet or cold arms? Someone please explain this to me!

Full skirt and simple tank and sweater. Honestly, I don't think we've ever seen Melissa wear anything bad.  

Dear PLL Wardrobe Department: Where are these jeans from? They are the perfect dark wash and perfect straight leg (which I find very hard to find). If you made them yourself, would you please send them to me? Thank you.

If Mona wants to wear a t-shirt, she should take lessons from Emily. This top is a fashion don't. 

Never one to skimp on trends, Mona incorporates every piece of glamorous camping apparel she can find. Oddly, it kind of works on her...

I wasn't going to include Noel in this recap because his one appearance this episode is less than noteworthy; however, I'm confused on why he is wearing both a henley-type shirt AND an opened button-down that is buttoned open? Pick ONE shirt buddy!

After watching Toby in the second half of the season with his shorter 'do, I really can't stand this shaggy look on him anymore. No wonder everyone thought he was a criminal!