unmAsked - Part 1 of 3 - Hey, You Going To The Ball?

Friends, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the Hamptons and sort of forgot about the crazy revenge (!!!) that goes down in Rosewood. After many (MANY) teasers, tricks, twists and turns, we’ve finally discovered who’s behind A’s reign of terror. How many of y’all picked Mona? Anyone? I mean, I knew she was crazy after seeing her earring collection over the past two season, but a murderer? I don’t care if it’s on sale, I’m not buying. But hey, some of y’all may have found it satisfying and besides, a masquerade for the Rosewood Junior Society? Hello, pretty dresses! If only the girls actually had a happy ending - apparently there’s still an “A-Team” (can they use that?) out there who may have killed Maya? And who was the Black Swan (can they use that)? If all that wasn’t enough to chew on, now Jenna can see and, well... just make sure your fan is off before anything hits it.

As usual, the girls meet up in Spencer’s kitchen for an A debrief. I can never tell if it’s before school or not but either way, they look ferocious. And then there’s Melissa. Poor, bitter, unbalanced Melissa who apparently goes wild for toffee frozen yogurt. She was bland even before Ian died, so how does a girl like Spencer have a sister who dresses like Melissa? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with her robe cardigan and that burgundy colour is great on her - but compared to Spencer she looks like a bored housewife. And if you’re so smart, how come you can’t tell the difference between peanut butter and toffee?

Mad, mad, mad love is going on for this dress in my apartment right now. Aria usually kills it, but this is exceptional. The belt, the costume earrings and of course, this psychedelic, not quite paisley but a whole lot of something (plus it’s shiny!) mini dress is worth a whole month of “yeah, girl!” compliments. I don’t have one snarky thing to say - which is great because the rest of Aria’s looks aren’t so flaw free.

For example, the t-shirt with the tassels? I’m sorry darlin’, but Woodstock happened 43 years ago, why don’t you snip those bad boys off? I appreciate what she’s going for, I love a good rocker throwback, but Aria’s missing the mark and trying to lasso herself back with that tattered t-shirt ain’t gonna work. Can we talk about the boots? Whose bed have those been under? A cast member from Rocky Horror? Don’t get me wrong, I love some Rocky Horror action but they’re swallowing Aria.

At this point, I’ve given up with trying to figure out Emily. She seems to have abandoned the Flashdance inspired t-shirts (whose demise I feel YKYLF had a part in) and now balances her days with oversized snuggies and drop-dead leather jackets. Aria’s turquoise jacket was alright, but Emily’s wine coloured number is just beautiful. If people didn’t know she was a total pushover, I bet she’d be a total butch girl.

Surprisingly, Hanna was kind of boring this week. Usually you can count on her for some sass and spitfiring - especially with her wardrobe - but all we get is a glance of this beaded top

And this Working Girl inspired outifit. Paired with her black trench and an enormous collar that I’m pretty sure protects Rosewood from floods, I was left pretty uninspired. What happened to the catty bitch of the group? Has A finally worn you down?

It doesn’t matter (too much) if Hanna dropped the ball this week because there were moments like these to make up for it. Spencer Hastings, the borderline genius with a flair for Ivy League fashion. Anyone else dying over the knee high boots and creamy coat she’s rocking? Oh, and what’s that beneath it all? Is that a simple crew neck sweatshirt. YES IT IS. Man, I love this girl.

After their huddle at Fitz’s old apartment, the PLLers discover a super sketched out motel where Alison may have stayed before she died and where A may have followed her. And since caution has been thrown so far into the wind not even Aria’s tassels could hope to rope it back, the girls stay the night at the murdermotel. Not wasting anytime, Team Sparia breaks into the clerk’s office to steal the register.

While the cold and wet Team Hamily just chills before Hanna takes a shower. A shower? After falling in the mud? Girl, your clothes are still a mess and you’re going to be hanging ‘round in a towel. Just sayin’.

But if the girls are in the woods searching some flea infested dump, what’s A up to in Rosewood? Well, apparently meeting with the miraculously sighted Jenna who’s traded her oversized dark glasses for slightly smaller dark glasses. We get it. You’re dark. How about cracking a smile?

Oh, and Mona (who’s really A!!!), tried to get the PLLers to go shopping. Obviously they ditch her because she’s totes annoying and over the top. I mean, look at that ring! Somewhere there is a crane missing its wrecking ball. You could easily rob a bank with that piece of jewelry. Does anyone need anymore evidence of this bitch being crazy? 

If These Dolls Could Talk - 2 of 4 - Usual (A) Suspects

Less than a week to go to A-Day and I have zero clue about who A is. Ann and I were discussing it on the Twitter and getting nowhere. I figure it's going to be someone I didn't see coming. It'll go all Veronica Mars-y, Keyser Söze on me and A will be a total shocker, but it'll make 100% sense after the reveal. At least that's what I'm hoping for. In the meantime, I'm going to use the handy ABCFamily hashtags to tip me off to suspects.

#IsMelissaA

Probably not. I think she's probably just a bitch who has THE WORST taste in men. While she can't pick a decent dude to save her life, she can pick an amazing coat. Nice work, Melissa. You are one stylish pregnant lady. You were probably just in the wrong place in the wrong time when Mona decided to kiss Caleb.

Speaking of Mona...

#IsMonaA

Y'all, I'm not even sure Mona is getting texts from A. Hear me out. 1) I doubt A does Daytime Glam (also, she should leave that to the ladies with the Magic Closets). 2) I think Mona is just trying to break Hanna and Caleb up. She's no Caleb fan...or is she?? Because if I could use a mysterious texter to get me a chance to make out on his face I TOTALLY WOULD (I don't even care if it's a lousy BFF move. I'd do it).

But my guess is she just wants them broken up so she can hang with her bestie again. Because you don't wear this jacket to make out with a dude you like.

What is that trim? Is she going to start yodelling? Regardless of what her plans are for the rest of the evening, she really shouldn't have paired that jacket with those pants.

Great jeans. Love the cobalt blue. But not with the Lonely Goat Herder jacket.

#IsJennaA

This one just seems too obvious. Also, would A really wear a sheer, beaded top with the long jacket?

Okay, I have no idea if A would wear that. I hope A would dress better. I'd say Jenna's excuse for that top is she's blind...or is she?!?

It appears she's totally seeing everything. So that leaves me to believe she's using the blind thing to hold on to Toby in front of Spence (bitch move). And that she's had something to do with Ali's death (super illegal bitch move).

The not blind thing is probably why she wears her sunglasses at night - to hide the fact that SHE CAN TOTALLY SEE from poor, sweet, Toby.

#IsAlisonA

That hashtag needs to be #IsAlisonDead, because dead girls do not root through her former belongings and help themselves to some painkillers.

They also do not wear such lovely white leather jackets. I'm not usually a fan of white leather, but it's so different from the usual leather jacket on TV (yes vampires, I'm looking at you) that I'm going to give the dead girl who is possibly blackmailing her friends from the grave via text message some props.

Cute details on the arm too.

If These Dolls Could Talk - 4 of 4 - Top Five Creepiest Moments

So, this episode was so over the top creepy that I had to share these moments with you. If you had been on the Twitter with Ann, Lauren and I on Monday, you would have seen our reactions to these. They were mostly "WTF!"

5. Melissa + Garrett K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Creepy because she's such a bitch and because he's so darn skeezy and stalkery. And they were both in Alison's room the night she was "killed"

4. SHE IS NOT ACTUALLY BLIND.

Girlfriend has magical lips, because moments before killing a fly and showing us she can totally see, Jenna was cleaning off her lipstick. So this is her natural lip colour? I can't wait for this girl to make bitchfaces.

3. Payment in creepy lollipops

This kid is straight up Damian, Children of the Corn, Flowers in the Attic creepy. His only payment from A for being so creepy to the Liars? A giant creepy lollipop. My guess is that he grows up to be a serial killer. Or an A.

2. The Doll Hospital

For so many reasons. Not just the flower in the attic kid who peers out the window at the Liars.

1. The Murdered Little Liar Doll.

You're trying to avoid nightmares after this doll talks to you (if only I knew how to make a gif of the creepiness!). A, you have gone too far - because now I'm scared to watch with the lights out. Also, I don't expect that Murdered Little Liar Doll will be a hit during the holidays.

It's no wonder it garnered the following reactions.

Although, nice jacket, Ems. You may veer towards boring, but you always bring it with the leather jackets. And I know you're kind of fearing for your life and all, but I'd like to take a moment to say cute t-shirt.

Yeah, that would be the reactions your YKYLF staffers had on the Twitter on Monday. Sheer terror thanks to one seriously creepy doll.

And with that, let the countdown begin to A-Day and getting the pants scared off of us. Shit's about to get real. Because as Ali would say:

The Naked Truth - Part 2 of 2 - School Sleeopver

This girl has the magical ability to pull off outfits that would look ridiculous on anyone else - the cutout leggings and frayed cropped denim jacket somehow just work for her. Like really, do you know anyone else who wears cut-out leggings on a regular basis?? Maybe Rihanna...?

Once again, we have the exceptional Ashely Marin. Even if she's chaperoning a school sleepover, she is expertly dressed. Ella should really take a few notes from her and learn how to tailor her clothes...just sayin'. 

And this gorgeous leather jacket that totally puts her in Vampire Diaries leagues.

::sigh:: Oh, Caleb. How I love your smug smirks. And your subtle color coordination between your Converse and jacket. This boy could wear anything...or nothing...I would still be smitten.

Whoa! Emily actually accessorized a bit over her t-shirt. While it's pretty standard fare for Em, the combat boots and split-zip sweater are awesome.

And Hanna took the off the blanket! Love how she paired this leather jacket with an otherwise very casual outfit - it was very reminiscent of the one she wore to watch the Katy Perry concert/say good bye to Caleb.

Then we have Holden, who definitely needs tips from Caleb. The T-shirt/long sleeved combo only works when you're eight and under. As for his sleepover outfit? He may have gotten confused with camping...where did he come from again? What, you say? They didn't have school sleepovers there?  (Love the chambray, though).

And the RETURN of Jason!! So he many not look anything like Spencer, but he's certainly got the Hastings prep thing down.

Creepy, creepy, mysterious Jenna. She could really use a few new things to keep her whole "I'm-so-misunderstood-and-mistreated" thing going. 1) New sunglasses. 2) A new less-creepy boyfriend. 3) More sartorially pleasing choices.

In suprising new that I never thought would escape my lips because I'm not usually a fan of Mona's outfits, but this one? LOVE. The top is gorgeous - filigree lace in a silvery-gold, and those boots are awesome.
(I'm still in awe.)

I love seeing flashback!fashion, if only to point out how much the characters have grown, style-wise. Well in this case, it seems Spencer's trying to fit into clothes she grew out of when she was ten.

Back to real time--my favourite outfit, by far - the printed dress had the most adorable ruffles, and cardigan and hunter green belt were awesome. I think the real winner was the over-the-knee socks paired with the boots. Spencer's got the great legs to pull that look off without looking like she's working the corner. 

Veronica could stand to take a page out of Spencer's book. This is pretty standard Veronica fare. Not digging the printed shirt. It looks more like a table runner; let's step it up V. 

I still can't decide whether I admire Kate's admittedly genius move, or think she's crazier than A (wait - no one is crazier than A). Also can't decide which is more boring - the grey or the stripes.

Pretty normal sleepwear for teenage girls - raise your hands if you're surprised Aria didn't show up in a floor-length black vintage nightie from Iceland, or something, though.

And I will admit, this ending was by far the creepiest A has been yet. Wandering around a high school filled with sleeping kids? That's my biggest fear coming to fruition. No, not the sleeping in a school part, but the someone doing shady businesss while I'm sleeping part. YIKES! The countdown to the big A reveal begins now...

The First Secret - Part 2 of 3 - Hey, Other People Are Here?

I never ever thought I would say this, but... I prefer Mona 2.0. That’s right, I miss her technicolour lipstick, her pattern orgies, and earrings that are clearly pieces of scrap metal she’s salvaged from car wrecks. Not that 2008 Mona isn’t cute, but the pigtails are just wee bit long, don’t you think? Remember girls, pigtails = bookish nerd.

Yeah, it’s just not the same with a shirt on...

I wish the old Jason actor could have come back. I know that’s not how flashbacks work, but I’m still not sold on this floppy haired, henley loving bro. And I thought you were supposed to be a punkish drug addict? Where’s the angst, fool? 

ME. OW. Jenna, Jenna, Jenna... you are one saucy broad! Aside from being the new girl in town, she’s apparently brought some new girls to town. As my mom always said, “If you’re to make an impression, use your boobs, because damn girl”. 

(note: my mom never said that)

Again, I reiterate, this is a high school party. Why am I surprised? We all know what the backstage of a charity fashion show looks like.

Although, when the parents in town are filled to the brim with martinis and need to be brought home by shady cops, I suppose their’s is a lax attitude toward drinking. Can we talk about this sapphire blue for a minute? Dead. I'm dead. It's amazing. If a dude had eyes that colour, I'd be all over that. Ashley Marin, never stop being who you are.