Pretty Little Liars: What Happens to the Broken Hearted

Part 2 of 3: Welcome to Scotland

Some cliques make you wear pink on Wednesdays. Others, like the PLLs, have unwritten rules for plaid and lady-like frill, and you know what? I was happily shocked and pleased by this turn of fashion events.

I mean, Aria wore a striped shirt with a polka dotted tie and a plaid jacket, and I didn't even wince. Either I'm growing accustomed to her look, or somehow she turned a horrible idea into a marvelous outfit. She looks elegant, put-together, and sophisticated, and the pieces look just as good seperate as they do together. Bonus: she wore red boots to match her jacket. What a pro!

Hanna also decided to rock a plaid jacket, and hers was equally paired with horrible patterns (in theory). Once executed though, the studs, lace, and plaid harmonized perfectly. I actually love this outfit, and I had to gawk at her outfit for a few minutes to convince myself I wasn't going insane like Spencer is.

Even Spencer got the memo! She changed from dreadlocks and sweats to beautiful curls and a typical Spencer outfit, which made me utter a sigh of relief. The maroon, evergreen, and dark blue somehow matched perfectly to create a Sherlock Holmes-inspired look. The cuffs and collar of her outfit add an extra pop to her dark clothing, which was just what the outfit needed. I think our girl is still in there, somewhere.

Jason may not be a lady, but he's just as nattily attired this week. Overal, I'm kinda jealous of how put-together he always looks. Even his hair is shining.

I just realized — he's like the PLL version of Nate Archibald, minus the perpetual confusion!

Pretty Little Liars: What Happens to the Broken Hearted

Part 3 of 3: Leathers Jackets and Working Clothes

Our remaining looks fit into one of two categories — grungy or dressed-up — and I was pleasantly surprised by most characters' ability to fit into both categories. That's talent, you guys.

I submit Caleb as Evidence A. In the first photo, he's ready to buy a motorcycle and drop out of school, and in the second, he just combed his hair and is about to hop in the family car for Sunday mass. I wonder which look Hanna prefers?

I'm gonna go with "A" (ha!). Hanna combined Caleb's sartorial schizophrenia and wore a grungy yet proper outfit this week. The cuts in her top (which I really do not understand) and her shiny leather belt screamed punk rock, but her "daddy's girl" coat and puppy eyes beg to differ. Is she about to rob me or is she collecting money for the poor? I have no idea.

The apple never falls far from the tree! Her mama always looks chic, no matter what she wears. The funny thing is, Ashley's blue blouse is completely something Hanna would wear. Sharing closets must have its perks.

Emily chose the grungy look this week, and as usual, it suits her well. She sported both a leather bag and a leather jacket, and her faded leopard print top worked perfectly with a few bracelets and skinny indigo jeans. A+ for this week, Em!

But Mona... Mona, you fail. This Sunday school outfit is frankly horrifying. Snaps to the wardrobe department for the neon yellow nails, though. I'll take it as a wink to the audience.

I may look put together, but I'm actually a psycho!

I almost skipped shirtless Jason in the hospital, who was neither grungy nor chic, but just plain hot. He should really do this more often.

The shirtlessness, not the hospital bit. All those wires get in the way of our enjoyment, right?

Pretty Little Liars: Dead to Me

Part 1 of 3: Closet Thieves

This week on Pretty Little Liars, aka Do These Kids Still Go to School?: Hanna convinces Caleb to go back to his childhood home to pick up a few memories. Turns out his uncle may be his father, wha?! Spencer finds out where the "A" key leads to, only to have her heart completely shattered. Emily thinks she may have killed Ali (spoiler: she didn't, she only confirms that there's a blonde in a red coat leading the A team). Mona is still totally cray. And Aria? Aria is moping over Ezra while running around with Wes, who slept with his physics teacher. We end with yet another memorial for Ali, and Spencer isn't the only one getting tired of them. 

You guys. Either I've come down with that really horrible cold that's been going around and the tea my friend is feeding me is some version of Meredith's... or I've been watching PLL so long that Aria can no longer surprise/shock/horrify me. The pink foiled Seven jeans? Kind of cute, actually. The metallic gold jacket? It matches her pants! Love. The top? Adorable. 

This is one of those outfits that only Aria can pull off, because if I wore it? Well, you'd better check my tea...

Vintage belt? Check. Blue leopard print? Double check. You're getting predictable, Aria, but I still like it.

Hanna doese equally well in these knee high boots and extremely mini skirt. Go Han. Also, snaps for her squiggly necklace. And for Caleb, because he makes henleys look interesting.

And then we have Jason, who doesn't own a loose-fitting shirt. Why is he still around? Oh, right. Because Toby (sniff) is part of the A team and gratuitous male shirtlessness still needs to happen, duh.

Still loving Hanna's boots. Although I don't understand why she's worn the same pair of shoes for two different outifts. This is Hanna, she wears three inch heels to school and five inches when tracking down A. Not loving the cheetah (?) print dress, because this is a memorial, not an episode of the Real Housewives of Rosewood.

And Em! In a dress!! She stole this one from TSwift (or possible LSwift), and again, it's totally not something you'd wear to a memorial. But Hanna and Ems pale in comparison to Aria's red and black lace number. She stole that one from Wednesday Addams. Either that, or Pinterest taught her how to cut up her dress and sew in some lace insets. More about that, later.

I take it back. PLL can still surprise/shock/horrify me. Where did Hanna get these overalls from?! Why could she not put on a cute tank and a pair of jeans to go through old stuff? Was farmer chic really necessary? I can't get this image out of my head, guys. 

Pretty Little Liars: She's Better Now

Everyone Needs A Nemesis: Part 1 of 2

Welcome home to Rosewood, y’all! When we last left our Liars, the Halloween Train nearly finished off our girls – and Adam Lambert was awkwardly hitting on Aria. Since then, there has been no shortage of the dramz. Having Mona back at school isn’t exactly what Aria, Spencer, Emily and Hanna were looking forward to, so naturally they become obsessive, paranoid and standoffish about everything. But Mona’s not the only new girl at Rosewood High and the endless tragicomedy that is the Liars lives gets a bit more complicated.

Oh yeah. Mona looks much better than the last time we saw her sneaking around in that oddly retro nurse uniform. You have to give her snaps for not dressing too loudly on the first day back from the crazy house. Beige is great for blending in and the sweater is a nice cut, plus that Peter Pan collar ain’t hurtin’ no one. Belting it was totes the right choice.

 

I can’t say I’m down with the knife/cow brain accessory, but to each their own. Actually, I was cringing during this scene, especially when everyone had their phones out. Nice subtle commentary on the nature of social media, ABC Family. I was waiting for them to break out into the Leper Song from “Jesus Christ Superstar”.

At least Mona can find comfort in the toned, muscular arms of Jason DiLaurentis. Why she hasn’t clocked him for wearing that awful Western inspired shirt is the real mystery this episode. If you’re going to wear that sincerely Jason, at least tuck it in and look slick. Having it all loose and flowing makes you look like an extra in “Footloose”. 

Although, Jason has never been a leader for the men’s fashion scene in Rosewood. A henley that shows off your dazzling pecs? If you weren’t so... I mean, if they weren’t... and your hair looks so soft... alright, you get a pass this time, DiLaurentis. Is it too much to ask that the men step up their game?

See? There’s reliable Lucas, looking cute and preppy in his sweater/button down combo. His wardrobe always stays true to his nerdy background, but compared to the other guys, he’s a bloody fashion plate. It would have been great to see this look slightly updated with a Breton stripe rather than this blocky pattern.

Alright, back to Mona for a minute. After the brain locker incident, Mona posted a video confessional online to set the record straight. I’m guessing because she threw in some tears everyone figured, “...yeah, she’s better now”, and pulled a 180º out of the hater zone. Listen Rosewood, just because she wore that accountant’s outfit, and just because she’s wearing this J. Crew sweater, does not mean it’s all good in the hood.

Oh, sidebar, what is happening with this gym teacher’s hair? It’s like she tried for the Rosewood volumized locks and then was all, “this belongs in an up do!”

With Mona back at school, there’s suddenly a flurry of A Activity. Remember the creepy hotel attendant? Well, now he’s a janitor who’s writing letters to Alison in her journal, and is storing Mona’s A gear in the school basement. I’ve only got one word for this nonsense...

If only Wayne Fields knew what was up – he wouldn’t tolerate this nonsense one bit. After all, he did install a full security system to keep Emily safe (re: locked inside). Wayne is totally the dad who would scare your friends and make you check in every hour with a text message when you’re at a late movie. Not exactly crushworthy. 

Byron Montgomery on the other hand, would totally be a crushworthy dad. Sure, he’s a little dorky and awkward, but Byron would let you stay up late to watch “Saturday Night Live” and give you your space for some girl talk. Too bad he’s a lying, manipulative cheater that hooks up with any young, blonde thing that comes his way.

Well, speak of the devil – Meredith is back on the scene! And this time she’s Aria’s American History teacher. I was a little torn on her character because at first glance, I figure anyone who can pull off a plunging neckline as a teacher deserves some respect. Especially when it’s a beautiful violet jewel tone. But then she threw a little more shade than was necessary, so I shut her down. Seriously though – she nailed the young, sexy teacher look.

This screenshot isn’t my best work, but I wanted to throw it in for Meredith's cute cuffed jeans. Top those off with a mossy green sweater and matching shoelaces, and you have to wonder how Byron holding onto this woman.

From Mona to Jason to the creepy janitor, the A-list keeps growing. But let’s not forget the most puzzling member – Toby. Oh yes friends, he’s back and more batshit crazy than ever. Toby looks oddly content behind the wheel of truck as he tries to run down a hooded skateboarder. I hope his new penchant for black hoodies doesn’t take away from his Gratuitous Male Shirtlessness...

...because I don’t think Jason is up to the challenge. I’m not sure what macho, Southern land owner look he’s aiming for with his veranda sitting, beer sipping, shirt draping attitude, but I’m not buying. If only Toby could swoop in and save th-

THERE IT IS. Welcome back, Pretty Little Liars. Toby Cavanagh, party of seven?

Pretty Little Liars: This is a Dark Ride

Part 3 of 3 - Party on the Murder Train!!

Even the A-Team got into the Halloween spirit, showing up in a new costume as the hArlequin!

The hArlequin wore these awesome rings, with ROOFIES INSIDE. Seriously, apart from the roofies, these rings are kinda awesome. And? Irony: Aria is done in by killer rings. Literally, KILLER RINGS. RINGS FILLED WITH ROOFIES. BAM!

So, A totally roofied Aria (when she was busy daydreaming about American Idol Runner-Up Adam Lambert) and Aria totally woke up locked in a crate with GARRETT'S TOTALLY DEAD BODY.

And that was how Aria lost her A-ginity. Remember earlier this season, when she was like "Ahh! I'm so scared of bathroom stalls! Hold me, Spencer!" Well, now she knows what her three BFFs have been dealing with THIS WHOLE SHOW. Welcome to ALMOST DYING, Montgomery.

Oh, I mentioned Garrett's totally dead body, right? So, before he died, he confessed to Spencer that he didn't kill Ali. It's just that he hit a field hockey stick on a tree, and told his blind girlfriend (Jenna, obvs) that Ali was dead. So Jenna thinks he did it, but he didn't do it. Get it?

Yeah, I have no idea what that was all about, either.

And then!! Garrett also tells Spencer that, later on that same night (the night Ali died), he saw her talking with... ARIA'S DAD!!

Like, was Ali sleeping with literally every man in Rosewood? And could Byron get any creepier? Also: remember when Ali coerced Aria into trashing Byron's office, pretending it had been done by a woman he scorned? WAS ALI THAT WOMAN??

Besides Paily, Spoby, and Ezria, Rosewood's fourth-best supercouple showed up to the Murder Train too!

Jenoel!

Noel is a matador; Jenna is a saucy pirate wench. Is it weird I'm more comfortable seeing her with one eye closed, than when her whole face is exposed? Kinda brave of a newly non-blind girl to wear an eyepatch, I guess.

Also, Jason DiLaurentis showed up dressed like... Brandon Walsh from original recipe 90210?

"Hey guys, break it up. You should probably give me your keys, I don't think you're safe to drive home tonight."

Did you guys catch how Jason sent some sort of psychic message to Lucas, just before the hArlequin tried to strangle Spencer to death? Or were you too distracted by the fresh-faced again, less-creepy Lucas dressed like an old-timey paparazzo?

Are we supposed to like him again? Or is he still a creeper? I can't remember anymore, but I love his gigantic camera.

Also, Caleb was there, dressed as Sexy Phantom of the Opera.

Well, he was dressed as Phantom of the Opera, but anything Caleb wears automatically gets "Sexy" put in front of it. Because, come on.

Although, unexpectedly, Paige wins the prize for Best PLL Significant Other tonight. Because, did Caleb, Evil Toby or Ezra save Spencer from being TOTALLY STRANGLED by the hArlequin? No, Paige did that. Because Paige? Is the greatest.

Ezra, who missed the party because of *mumblemumblewriting* or whatever, conveniently showed up after Aria's rescue to be all like, "I'm here because of coincidences! I was driving beside the train! Totally not on the train! Absolutely I have nothing to do with the A-Team!"

Aria believes him, but I don't know. What do you think about this Over-The-Shoulder-Hug action?

He may not be as evil as Evil Toby, but something's not right in EzriaLand.

Oh, and back on the mainland, Ashley and Pastor Ted dressed as a Doctor and Nurse:

Aww, wholesome fun! Ashley seems to have modified a Sexy Nurse outfit to make it more family (and Pastor Ted) friendly, with a cleavage-covering panel in the front:

But again with the Marin women and wigs that are the same as their normal hair. What's the point of a redhead wearing a redhead wig for Halloween? Obvs red suits her very well, but like... WTF?

Oh, and then of course Ashley had a run-in with a little girl wearing Spencer's outfit from the first scene:

Was this little girl the Ghost of Ali? One of the twin girls from Ali's monologue from The First Secret? The ghost of Ali's dead long-lost twin? I literally have no idea.