Pretty Little Liars: Misery Loves Company

Part 2 of 3: Team Cray

Aria's cold from last episode came to an ugly head this week but through the haze, she finally realized that Meredith isn't what she seems. Thanks for catching up, Aria. It's like you don't even watch this show. 

If you did, you would not be swayed by Meredith's perfect blonde hair and her super-convincing concerned face. Because if we learned anything this week it's that this bitch be cray y'all. CRAY! Don't get me wrong, I love this super sleek, black pencil skirt and that sheer white blouse borrowed from Lady Mary's wardrobe. And that gorge wide belt is totally the cherry on top. I might grant her a pardon for her psychosis, despite all evidence to the contrary.

Exhibit number eleventy: She's got the crazy eyes. Yes, Meredith is gorgeous and has really pretty earrings, but Aria? We need to have a serious talk about trust and naiveté.

While Meredith's busy trying to throw Ella off her track, Aria has a crazy dream/not dream/hallucination/whatever. Ali visits her in these mint green jeans with white cork wedges which would be perfect for a picnic. Maybe she should have visited Emily instead. Do we think Ali only ever dresses in summer clothes because that's when she "died"?

But honestly who the eff cares what she looks like when she literally says to Aria: "Do I look dead do you?" WHAT?! Is she serious? Enough with the riddles woman, we need answers!

Ali does look divine, though, in this delicate white lace tank. I guess she was Aria's angel since she warned her about Meredith's poisonous tea and told her the truth or whatever about Aria's dad. Saint Ali!

I'm also really digging the thin sparkly belt. Sparkles, sparkles, sparkles. And her tank looks even more angelic from the back. I wish we could see the whole outfit because I know I absolutely love the whole ensemble.

But you GUYSS! Ali picked Aria for what?! What was she talking about? Then she leaves the doll by the door and when Aria wakes up, the doll is still there! Did Aria sleep walk and put it there? Was Alison actually in the room? Seriously, weirdest. Scene. Ever. Also, FYI I'm really over this whole doll thing. Like enough already. We get it, they amp up the creep factor. But I'm done.

Once Aria realizes she's been made prisoner, she breaks a mirror. What up, 7 years bad luck. I don't think you can afford any more bad juju, girl.

And now this bitch be cray!

Meanwhile at the drugstore, Meredith dons a nicely fitted, yet very unnecessary, burgundy suit jacket. She likes adding jackets to things, doesn't she? Bonus: you can tell she's losing her nerve because her curls are falling.

So, Hanna and Emily arrive at Aria's house. Because they've never seen a horror movie, when crazy Meredith leads them to the basement and tells them to go right on down, they're suddenly on the Price Is Right. Sadly, there was no Plinko in the basement.

But eventually, Byron materializes. Rescuing aside, could he be any creepier?

Oh, look he could. We switch to Flashback Filter and confirm it's not approps for a grown man to have secret rendezvous with pretty girls in the middle of the night, especially when they're running around in skimpy things like this lemon yellow flapper style tank.

Nooooo Aria!! After Byron's flashback, he convinces Aria of his innocence, and she burns the diary pages like she's on a daytime soap (that comes on after Price is Right?) Aria, that's exactly what he wanted you to do! Gah, it's amazing how good hair and a cute oversized raglan can cloud a girl's judgement.

Is it too much to hope tht Aria's got something up her sleeve? Another copy of the pages, perhaps? Hiden in one of her dolls? I just hope Byron believes that she belives him so he can stop being so very, very creepy. 

Pretty Little Liars: Mona-Mania

Part 1 of 3: Born To Be Bad

I already knew this episode would be great when I saw it was going to be called MONA-MANIA (which sounds like an amazing musical version of PLL). While nobody broke into song, this show is def running on all cylinders so far this season. PLL never runs out of insane, random terrifyingness and now that Mona's back in school? Set your drama gun to STUN because this show is OUT OF THIS WORLD. While Mona and Toby are the only confirmed members of the A-Team, this week brought out fishy behaviour from Lucas and Jason as well. And Byron. And Meredith. At this point, I think the series finale will reveal that the entire town of Rosewood is A, apart from the PLLs.

The A Queen, Miss Thang Mona, showed up at school with her best "I'm so totally innocent and wronged!" face on. She accentuates this "I'm so pure and sweet!" con with girlie, ruffled ensembles inspired by Taylor Swift circa when she was dating that Jonas Brother.

And facial expressions inspired by Anne Hathaway in Les Mis. "I dreAmed A dreAm..."

Her blue dress is really sweet, though better suited for an Easter parade than Rosewood Hi Skool (or the Coffeeshop of Terror). And... did she borrow that leopard print cardi from 80s Carrie Bradshaw? 

She continues with this T-Swizzle aesthetic (now moving up to 2012-dating-the-Kennedy years) in this Peter Pan collar top and skinnies:

She adds an extra touch of ladylike sweetness with these pearl drop earrings:

Between the earrings and the lace trim, she may as well be dragging around a halo and angel wings and a banner that says "I'M TOTALLY NOT TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE ANYMORE (EXCEPT I CLEARLY AM)."

When she challenges Spencer to become Empress of All The Nerds, though, she steps it up with this red bow-neck top (in a tribute to Taylor Swift, the Harry Styles era):

If it weren't for the Sailor Moon buns on the back of her head, I might fall for this cinnamon-spice-and-everything-nice act. But this cray hair is a reminder that this girl is PURE INSANITY.

Even Mona, with her Extreme Personality Disorder, can't keep up this poor-wounded-kitten act 24/7. She lets the old Mona face out as she slays Spencer in Nerd Showdown 2013.

The rest of the A-Team apparently also got the memo that this week is all about being TOTALLY NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL. Check out Toby's wholesome All-American boyfriend "TOTALLY NOT A" look:

Did he borrow the plaid shirt from Ethan on TLG, the henley from Finn on Glee, and the easygoing grin from Jack on Revenge(!!!)? He may try to Frankenstein himself into the ULTIMATE GOOD GUY BOYFRIEND WHO IS TOTALLY NOT TRYING TO KILL YOU, but I can see his true colours.

we see through this.

Bold move, taking a call from your boss right in front of the tragically oblivious Spencer. You get down with your eeevil side, Toby.

At this point, I can't decide of Lucas is a) being blackmailed to work for Mona, b) working for Mona but pretending like he's being blackmailed and he doesn't want to, or c) some other new thing we don't even know about yet. What I do know is that he's out of his Emo Hoodies and back into his throwback Seth Cohen threads:

SPOILER: Lucas is about to get some competition in the Cute Nerds of Rosewood competition.

Smugging around Rosewood Hi Skool is our latest A suspect, who is possibly also just a nasty person. Yes, friends, it's Byron's once and future piece, Meredith!

It's a bold choice to never cover up the bandage from her grievously burned arm. But she's not the sort of person to let something like that affect her style. That slouchy teal blouse sets off her Rosewood curls (tm), walking that fine line of Adulterous Marriage Ruiner and High School History Teacher.

The next day at school, she vamps it up a la Joan from Mad Men in this retro pencil dress:

Between the dress and her non-hidden bandage, she's working a little Fifty Shades of the Morning After Gray.

She throws on a coat later when she, for no apparent reason, is totally non-evilly offering Aria a cup of totally-not-poisoned tea:

"Hey, teenage girl who I was accusing of trying to murder me with arson last week. Why don't you drink this tea that I totally made myself, despite being in clearly manufactured tea bags?"

But despite all of Mona, Toby and Meredith's machinations, one character rose above them all as this week's Creep of the Week.

Not since Ian drank the milk so many seasons ago has a guy been as creepy as Byron reminscing how he discovered Aria's Halloween candy hiding spot as a kid.

I just don't see this ending well for the Montgomery fam.

Pretty Little Liars: This is a Dark Ride

Part 3 of 3 - Party on the Murder Train!!

Even the A-Team got into the Halloween spirit, showing up in a new costume as the hArlequin!

The hArlequin wore these awesome rings, with ROOFIES INSIDE. Seriously, apart from the roofies, these rings are kinda awesome. And? Irony: Aria is done in by killer rings. Literally, KILLER RINGS. RINGS FILLED WITH ROOFIES. BAM!

So, A totally roofied Aria (when she was busy daydreaming about American Idol Runner-Up Adam Lambert) and Aria totally woke up locked in a crate with GARRETT'S TOTALLY DEAD BODY.

And that was how Aria lost her A-ginity. Remember earlier this season, when she was like "Ahh! I'm so scared of bathroom stalls! Hold me, Spencer!" Well, now she knows what her three BFFs have been dealing with THIS WHOLE SHOW. Welcome to ALMOST DYING, Montgomery.

Oh, I mentioned Garrett's totally dead body, right? So, before he died, he confessed to Spencer that he didn't kill Ali. It's just that he hit a field hockey stick on a tree, and told his blind girlfriend (Jenna, obvs) that Ali was dead. So Jenna thinks he did it, but he didn't do it. Get it?

Yeah, I have no idea what that was all about, either.

And then!! Garrett also tells Spencer that, later on that same night (the night Ali died), he saw her talking with... ARIA'S DAD!!

Like, was Ali sleeping with literally every man in Rosewood? And could Byron get any creepier? Also: remember when Ali coerced Aria into trashing Byron's office, pretending it had been done by a woman he scorned? WAS ALI THAT WOMAN??

Besides Paily, Spoby, and Ezria, Rosewood's fourth-best supercouple showed up to the Murder Train too!

Jenoel!

Noel is a matador; Jenna is a saucy pirate wench. Is it weird I'm more comfortable seeing her with one eye closed, than when her whole face is exposed? Kinda brave of a newly non-blind girl to wear an eyepatch, I guess.

Also, Jason DiLaurentis showed up dressed like... Brandon Walsh from original recipe 90210?

"Hey guys, break it up. You should probably give me your keys, I don't think you're safe to drive home tonight."

Did you guys catch how Jason sent some sort of psychic message to Lucas, just before the hArlequin tried to strangle Spencer to death? Or were you too distracted by the fresh-faced again, less-creepy Lucas dressed like an old-timey paparazzo?

Are we supposed to like him again? Or is he still a creeper? I can't remember anymore, but I love his gigantic camera.

Also, Caleb was there, dressed as Sexy Phantom of the Opera.

Well, he was dressed as Phantom of the Opera, but anything Caleb wears automatically gets "Sexy" put in front of it. Because, come on.

Although, unexpectedly, Paige wins the prize for Best PLL Significant Other tonight. Because, did Caleb, Evil Toby or Ezra save Spencer from being TOTALLY STRANGLED by the hArlequin? No, Paige did that. Because Paige? Is the greatest.

Ezra, who missed the party because of *mumblemumblewriting* or whatever, conveniently showed up after Aria's rescue to be all like, "I'm here because of coincidences! I was driving beside the train! Totally not on the train! Absolutely I have nothing to do with the A-Team!"

Aria believes him, but I don't know. What do you think about this Over-The-Shoulder-Hug action?

He may not be as evil as Evil Toby, but something's not right in EzriaLand.

Oh, and back on the mainland, Ashley and Pastor Ted dressed as a Doctor and Nurse:

Aww, wholesome fun! Ashley seems to have modified a Sexy Nurse outfit to make it more family (and Pastor Ted) friendly, with a cleavage-covering panel in the front:

But again with the Marin women and wigs that are the same as their normal hair. What's the point of a redhead wearing a redhead wig for Halloween? Obvs red suits her very well, but like... WTF?

Oh, and then of course Ashley had a run-in with a little girl wearing Spencer's outfit from the first scene:

Was this little girl the Ghost of Ali? One of the twin girls from Ali's monologue from The First Secret? The ghost of Ali's dead long-lost twin? I literally have no idea.

Pretty Little Liars: Stolen Kisses

Part 2 of 2: Mix and Match

The second half of the episode starts out normally, with Aria dressing like a sequinned Audrey Hepburn from the waist up...

... and Ke$ha from the waist down:

NO NO NO NO NO. WORLD OF NO.

Silver pleather jeggings are NEVER OK. And that pink bag seems like a mismatch, but don't worry - it's just a tote she's using to carry clothes she's borrowing from Spencer.

(shirt by Urban Outfiters, b-t-dubs)

And why is our fave boho chickadee borrowing clothes from Spencer "Baby's Big Sister from Dirty Dancing Isn't As Preppy As Me" Hastings? Two words: Diane Fitzgerald.

Oh hi there MONSTER IN LAW. I get that you're crazyrich and all, but that suit's a little matchy-matchy. And your brooch and earrings are the size of Aria's earrings... which is not a good thing. Seriously, is she wearing a snail frisbee as a brooch?

Weirdly, Aria's first instinct is to ask for fashion advice from Emily which is: no.

This top by CHASER is a nice blend of Emily's usual racerbank tank and slouchy tees, and girlfriend does have good swimmer's shoulders but like.. even Em's all, "Um, you should probs check with Spencer on this one."

So Aria's like, "SPENCE 911 NEED YR FRUMPY CLOTHES 2 MEET EZRAS MOM" and Spencer's like, "WHO U CALLING FRUMPY, FORK EARRINGS?"

The sparrow-print shirt? I DIE. OK, time for me to fess up: on a recent shopping trip, I was like, "Ooh cat-print tee! An owl-print tank! MUST HAVE THESE THINGS" and it was only when I was at the checkout that I realized Spencer's style has worn off on me, subconsciously. Can you blame me? Look at her. PERFECTION.

More Banana Republic...

 

I kind of think the opportunity to give Aria a prepster makeover has always been a secret fantasy of Spencer's. Nevermind that Aria is a full two feet shorter than Spencer; these two made it work because Aria's a VISION in this dreamy backless white party dress: 

More Rachel Zoe...

I suppose Spencer must wear this as a shirt, since it fits Aria's tiny frame so well. But who has time to think of logic or reason? LOOK HOW PRETTY!

I'm pretty sure she added the belt without Spencer's consent, but it lends the outfit the perfect Aria punch. Well, that, and the arm party:

I'm pretty sure Spencer's responsible for these normal-sized earrings:

Aria's earlobes are like "OH THANK GOD"

The white dress is perfect for this event in ways even Spencer couldn't have anticipated. We get a kind of Emily-and-Queen-V chessboard vibe when Aria realizes that Ezra's mother is COMPLETELY CRAY: 

What Diane doesn't know is that Aria's been dealing with a crazy stalker for the last 3 years (or 3 months, or however time passes in Rosewood). Plus, Aria's got both Spencer AND Hanna on her side, and neither of them will hesitate to cut a bitch. Emily could also be helpful, if she's drugged and/or drunk, since who knows what she's capable of then?

In any case, Diane's black dress is pretty meh. Queen V wouldn't approve.

The black pashmina is so 2002. I mean, I'm sure it's from her own personal flock of alpacas that she had specially bred and it cost $7,000,000 but that doesn't make it fashionable. Try harder next time, Mrs F. I have seen Lily van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey Bass and you, madame, are no Lily VdWBHB.

Hanna goes through a few rapid outfit changes. First up: polka dots and a statement necklace (and her pretty hair worn down, thank goodness):

Then, she may have needed Spencer's guidance with the next look but since her mission to keep Mona at Radley (and to hide her friendship with Wren), she clearly went this on her own. E for Effort, Hanna, but this mishmash of layers looks much less grown-up than you think it does:

The ruffled neckline, bow detail, and raw edges on the jacket are all working against one another. Either trade the top for a simple cami, or go with a less embellished topper than that Rebecca Taylor jacket.

The shoes are AMAZE, however:

RESPECT.

Oh, and then comes the part where the cast mixes and matches and everybody starts getting affectionate with new people.

Yes, of course Byron and Aria (ByRia?) isn't a lovematch, but seeing this father/daughter duo begin to thaw their relationship (which has been chilly ever since Season 1, Episode 1), brought the AWWWs.

Oh, and then we got the first truly epic and romantic kiss for Emily:

The water, glowing romantically in the background. The sweet hopeful look Paige got when Emily confessed that she liked her? TOO CUTE.

Oh, and then we got another maybe-A clue.

A likes candy. And has a lot of money. Which means... I have no idea what this means. But the bank teller noted A's black hoodie, which I think eliminates Mrs. Fitz(gerald) as a suspect, because no way she'd ever wear anything other than a Chanel suit.

Who do you guys think A is? And, do you have ANY IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON??

Eye of the Beholder - Part 1 of 2 - The Beauties and the Normals

We learn a lot of secrets in this episode and a LOT of craziness occurs, but I am still dumbfounded that this new Duncan character actually happens to show up near that creepy doll hospital at the same time Aria dons Vivian's infamous red trench. However, lucky for us, Duncan is a cutie AND a pilot apparently. Back in Rosewood, Toby returns with a one-eye-operated-on Jenna. He is completely rude to Spencer which totally means he's trying to get on Jenna's good side to find out her secrets. Jason brings the PLLs a bag that belonged to Alison--containing clues! Emily hears from Maya. And Hanna is a hero. A real one. Like, she legit rescued someone. 

Braids are abounding in Rosewood lately! And I love it. I actually replicated this hair-do (well, tried to do) and my version, at least, turned out pretty awesome! Thanks for the inspiration Aria! 

Although I don't think I will drawing inspiration from this skull and leather look. On second thought, each component of this wack-a-doodle outfit is pretty awesome. Skull t-shirt = badass. Pleated leather mini = divine. Leather jacket = a little over-the-top BUT I will overlook because she has hardcore brass-knuckle-imitating rings on. 

Can this woman really do no wrong in the fashion department? Always put together, always tailored, gorgeous pieces of clothing. She's like the Reese Witherspoon on the Red Carpet of TV Moms. 

I find that this is typical Spencer. Preppy with a twist. Yes, that is a sheer turtleneck. With some ass-kicking lace-up boots. 

Take note: this is not the first sheer item of clothing that wonders Rosewood High's halls this week. 

No one else can wear high-waisted pants like Spencer Hastings. And no one should dare try. 

And her top? Just the perfect amount of tucked in and billowy. 

Emily must have gotten into a fight with a bear, as her shirt has clearly been mauled. Does she purposefully take all her t-shirts out into the woods to be torn apart by animals?

At least this shirt is not ripped. A little on the lumberjack side, especially with those combat-esque boots. We'll just blame it on her loss of Maya, shall we? 

I always thought Chad was the very unfortunate of the Lowe brothers. However, as they age, they are looking more and more alike. This is the most uncanny resemblance to Rob I have seen yet.