If These Dolls Could Talk - 3 of 4 - Unlikely (A) Suspects

If one of these folks are A, well, knock me down and call me Susan, because I didn't see it coming. And I don't think I'm alone.

How do I know they're not A? Well, would A dress like The Most Boring Teacher Ever?

I should hope not. Although, with my hopes for A's wardrobe, you'd think I was expecting A to show up dressed like Liberace or in Anna Wintour glasses and furs. But no. I just think A is too clever for a plain shirt and tie. And too smart to wear zippers on his pockets.

Zippers! On his pockets! Clearly he's had too much time with Aria. Never let a girl who wears sheer skirts over a mini-dress buy you a shirt or else it'll come with the random zippers.

The Moms can't be A either. Well, I don't know about Spencer's mom, she's shady. But Ashley? She's dressed well enough to be A, but I think she's too worried about Hanna. A would never take a cell phone away.

I can only assume that Ashley is questioning Hanna's blazer there. "Are you wearing that? Did you actually skin an animal for that?" At least that's what my mom would say if I tried to head to school wearing that.

And Ella? She's too busy dealing with a case of the Disappointments (good work, Bitchy Aria) and the Frumps to be A.

Her accessories are cool. You can almost see her leather cuff with serious hardware there. But then she's all loose flowing jersey knits and she loses me.

I will give her props for trying to structure things with this bitchin' tuxedo style blazer.

I only wish I could have gotten a decent shot of the front. But the back is awesomesauce. It's the way to be the Cool Mom, not the Frumpy Mom. Keep that up Ella, please.

And the dudes? Like Ella, Toby is too busy dealing with the Disappointments to be harassing his ex-girlfriend.

I'm dealing with the Disappointments because he's just layering up with the plaid. There better be a little Gratuitous Male Shirtlessness on A-Day...because I think none of us wants to go into a hiatus without that.

At least if he has to wear a shirt, he wears fitted shirts.

And the least likely to be A? Why Caleb of course. How do I know? Because you can't be blackmailing/terrorizing a gal AND looking at her like this:

Seriously. The swoons.

I do have one beef with Caleb: he's so pretty that me makes ugly clothes okay.

For reals. That sweater is the pits. It's drab and grey and I bet it's fraying. And if anyone else put it on they'd look like a slob. But Caleb is That Guy. You know the one. There's probably one in every school. He can wear the fugliest sweaters and still make you swoon. So it's a wonder that Mona isn't swooning a little bit

Awkwardest. Cuddle. Ever.

Eye of the Beholder - Part 1 of 2 - The Beauties and the Normals

We learn a lot of secrets in this episode and a LOT of craziness occurs, but I am still dumbfounded that this new Duncan character actually happens to show up near that creepy doll hospital at the same time Aria dons Vivian's infamous red trench. However, lucky for us, Duncan is a cutie AND a pilot apparently. Back in Rosewood, Toby returns with a one-eye-operated-on Jenna. He is completely rude to Spencer which totally means he's trying to get on Jenna's good side to find out her secrets. Jason brings the PLLs a bag that belonged to Alison--containing clues! Emily hears from Maya. And Hanna is a hero. A real one. Like, she legit rescued someone. 

Braids are abounding in Rosewood lately! And I love it. I actually replicated this hair-do (well, tried to do) and my version, at least, turned out pretty awesome! Thanks for the inspiration Aria! 

Although I don't think I will drawing inspiration from this skull and leather look. On second thought, each component of this wack-a-doodle outfit is pretty awesome. Skull t-shirt = badass. Pleated leather mini = divine. Leather jacket = a little over-the-top BUT I will overlook because she has hardcore brass-knuckle-imitating rings on. 

Can this woman really do no wrong in the fashion department? Always put together, always tailored, gorgeous pieces of clothing. She's like the Reese Witherspoon on the Red Carpet of TV Moms. 

I find that this is typical Spencer. Preppy with a twist. Yes, that is a sheer turtleneck. With some ass-kicking lace-up boots. 

Take note: this is not the first sheer item of clothing that wonders Rosewood High's halls this week. 

No one else can wear high-waisted pants like Spencer Hastings. And no one should dare try. 

And her top? Just the perfect amount of tucked in and billowy. 

Emily must have gotten into a fight with a bear, as her shirt has clearly been mauled. Does she purposefully take all her t-shirts out into the woods to be torn apart by animals?

At least this shirt is not ripped. A little on the lumberjack side, especially with those combat-esque boots. We'll just blame it on her loss of Maya, shall we? 

I always thought Chad was the very unfortunate of the Lowe brothers. However, as they age, they are looking more and more alike. This is the most uncanny resemblance to Rob I have seen yet. 

Father Knows Best - Part 1 of 2 - The Best

It's the father-daughter dance at Rosewood, and Spencer's dad tries to keep things hidden from Spence, while Aria's dad tries to make amends. Emily's dad's in town for the dance, and even helps his daughter try to locate a missing Maya, while Hanna's dad skips the dance and Hanna's mom steps in as her date. While trying to keep their daughters safe, Ashley and Ella (Aria's mom) begin to have their own suspicions about 'A'. On the A front, the girls discover that Ali was getting messages from another location - a creepy doll shop - and Melissa looks even more guilty as Ali's murderer. Maya bought a ticket for San Fran, but ended up disappearing with someone in a car instead (Garrett?!). Oh, and Mike Montgomery has replaced Eric van der Woodsen (because he's now gone from the UES to the Hamptons) as 'the wise little brother'.

Ashley continues her reign as best-dressed TV mother. I thought Lily van der Woodsen would knock her off her pedestal. Her crown was almost threatened by Revenge newcomer Victoria Grayson's bandage dress collection.

Shame you can't really see the gorgeous black trench, but Ashley even dresses impressively to have secret meetings with Officer McSleazy.

Requisite boring mom outfits that Ashley manages to make look good. Like really, how does she do it?? Must help having a bangin' bod!

YOU GUYS. Emily. In. A. Dress. I may or may not have gasped at my laptop in shock. Not that we haven't seen her in a dress before, it's just a nice change from those oversized Ts. I love the color on her, and I especially love the draped sleeves.

Well at least she has an oversized coat to go with those oversized Ts.

Ignore the typical Emily oversized T mess and instead focus on the leather jacket. Vampire worthy, methinks.

The army-and-jean combo makes me want to throw things, but I have a feeling the camo print has something to do with her dad's return to Afghanistan, so we'll let this one go.

Emily's dad in dress uniform for their father-daughter dance? Adorable. I think he won the best father award for this episode.

That furry burgundy red blazer looks like it belongs in Aria's closet. Either that, or Hanna fashioned it out of a burgundy poncho of Aria's.

Hard to tell in these pictures, but Hanna's sweater had sparkly thread running through it. I'm a sucker for anything sparkly. And lacy. So obviously I loved her casual outfit.

THAT COAT!! The fit! The buttons! The slightly puffed shoulders! I barely even noticed her hair (it's like she was trying to replicate Serena's weird half-braids).

Maybe the soup kitchen and elderly home is good for Mona. Her style's definitely improved. Less gaudy. Like this gorgeous striped skirt and blazer combo. Love.

And this! Such an improvement from last week's dress choices. 

Breaking the Code - Part 2 of 3 - PLLs, Jr and Sr

Oh, Emily.

 

The beanie? The stripey sleeveless tee? The shapeless bomber jacket? THE BEANIE?

You can't see in these pics, and the PLL director was smart to show them as little as possible, but Ems paired this look with unlaced army boots flopping around on top of black skinny jeans.

Seriously, lose the beanie, OMG. You're a pretty girl - possibly the most beautiful of all of the PLLs - and you cause all men and women in the vicinity to fall for you. But that doesn't mean it's OK for you to dress like you just got back from Burning Man.

Wait, is she trying to psychically bring Maya back by dressing like her? If so, how to explain when she mistook this girl (and her friend, and their magnificent bitchfaces) for Maya?

Maya wishes she had a bitchface like this girl. I have no problem with Emily pursuing this girl or, for that matter, her blond friend up there either. But Emily seriously needs to step up her style if she wants a chance with Fake!Maya.

This is a good step in the right direction:

Hair, makeup, and necklace? TO DIE FOR. Shirt? Trademark Emily fug. Remember how we hoped living in Hanna's house, style would wear off on Emily like osmosis? Still waiting for that to happen.

Actually, the reverse seems to be happening, as Hanna models an Emily-esque sloppy v-neck:

I mean, it's cute, but it's not really Hanna. Hanna, as we all know, lives and breathes fabulosity.

Her hair this week was BEYOND. Kate called out Hanna's first outfit this week as best of the week, and I can't really argue... yet.

Let's take it piece by piece. Goddess hair and artfully selected jewellery?

Check.

Sexy-yet-age-appropriate loose-fitting tank, and flawless makeup?

Duh. Has Hanna's makeup ever not been flawless? Check.

Burgundy leather riding boots so gorgeous the directors were afraid to show them onscreen for too long, because it would distract everyone from the episode?

NEED THE BOOTS. I think. OK, first I need to see a better shot of the boots, but I'm pretty sure they would make my life (and wardrobe) 10,000x better.

For 80s Cocktail Dress Day at Rosewood High, Hanna chose a cute (if way too short for school) green dress:

Her accessories were, again, flawless.

Does ABC Family have a special warehouse of oversized rings for their stars? Between PLL, The Lying Game and Jane By Design, I imagine a warehouse filled with rings the size of small pies.

BTW, are her earrings made of drill bits? Just wondering.

Her shoes are full-on insane, though:

Is that, like an 8" heel? No wonder she was teetering around all over the place like Lady Gaga in an airport. Rock on, high school student. I'd say she'd be late for class wobbling around the halls in those, but we haven't seen her in a classroom all season, so I guess that's not an issue.

(I'd like to also note Aria's knee socks and leopard-print platforms, visible only in this scene. She was having a leopard print kind of day, but... well, wait for part 3.) (OH MY GOD ARIA)

Spencer's always dressed for school, even when she's doing competitive yoga, wearing pajamas, or attending a fancy gala. Scholastic preppiness is ingrained in her DNA, I'm pretty sure.

This is cute, but a little meh for a Spencer outfit. The top is cute, the skirt is cute, but with the opaque tights? It's surprisingly normal, I guess. I'd expect her to spice this up with some argyle thigh-highs or a giant horse applique on her bag or something.

Things take a turn for the whaa? when she dresses to go meet their (latest) blackmailer, bringing along $2000 to pay him off.

Is that... a sleeveless trench coat? Or are the sleeves like, part of the coat? Help me out, you guys, is she layering two things, or is it all one Coat Of Insanity?

Yeah, that's just one coat. A Motocross/trench jacket of insanity. I'd say she's dressed to distract the blackmailer, but... well... she brought Aria with her. (And we'll get to that in part 3.) (OH MY GOD ARIA)

Mona, Aria and Ashley were bringing some fierce curls this week, but I like Spencer's super-straight 'do:

Her chevron sweater is also pretty sweet. Check out the back detail:

Pretty sweet for a sweater THAT SHE'S TOTALLY GOING TO GET KIDNAPPED AND/OR MURDERED IN! Or, to wear for a sisterly chat with her NOT AT ALL PSYCHOTIC sister. We'll see how next week goes.

Ashley and Ella kind of became honorary PLLs this week, as they both began their own investigations into the identity of "A". Ashley, much like the grown-up Hanna that she is, dressed to kill while doing her own investigations.

This dress looks like perfection from the front...

And from the back, it's GORGEOUS. Like, one of the most gorgeous dresses ever worn on this show. Check it:

The lace inset? The exposed zipper? The perfectly-fitted body con shape? Outfit of the week, folks.

Need I mention her flawless red curls (and is it kind of weird that Mona was rocking that same 'do earlier in the same episode? MONA IS A AND SHE'S COPYING ASHLEY'S HAIR. Maybe?)

Ashley's also teaching a masterclass in bitchfaces. You don't cross Ashley Marin, y'all. She made Officer McSleazy fold like a piece of origami with one carefully raised eyebrow.

Bow. Down.

CTRL: A - Part 2 of 2 - Moms and Boys

Hands down, Ashley is the best dressed mom on the small (or maybe even silver) screen. She even has a tailored apron. I secretly wish we could see what she would look like as an old lady to see if she still dresses as well or if she becomes a tracksuit grandma. I bet it's the former...

Ashely Benson and Laura Leighton are mother and daughter. Well no, not really, but don't they look completely related?! The same look on their faces, same murderous gleam in their eyes, leather jackets. What more do you need to signify mother-daughter bond? 

Then we see Ella. I swear she is always wearing the same outfit. Aria hasn't rubbed off on her yet?

Maya completely annoyed me this episode. From her outfit to her lying to Emily, she gets my vote off the island. Oh wait, wrong show. Sorry. 

But did the wardrobe department really have to dress her right out of the 70s because she was smoking pot? 

Caleb. My love. In addition to him scouring vintage shops for his incredible selection of t-shirts, I'm pretty sure he is sneaking off to Sally Hershberger for $500 haircuts because his hair is getting the PLL treatment. Must be because he is an honorary member? 

SO. CUTE. Can I be Hanna? Puh-lease! 

I can never decide what my feelings toward Jason are. Do I like him? Do I not? Do I like his hair? Do I not? So many questions. Maybe if he got rid of his fake bake then I could really decide...

I'm a more decisive when it comes to Holden. Such a cutie. Those PLL writers and casting directors knew what they were doing when adding new male eye candy to the show.