Never Letting Go - Part 1 of 3 - The Pretty Little Ones

FASHION SHOW! FASHION SHOW! FASHION SHOW AT LUNCH!

Episode Synopsis: So there was, like, a LOT of clothes in this episode - which made my job even more fun that usual. Before I get to hits and misses, I suppose we can talk about how Ashley and Tom are getting super cozy while Hanna throws out perfectly good Thai food in protest. Spencer tries to resume being the HBIC only to find out that our special girl Mona has usurped her as Queen of the Student Body. In the midst of these minor battles, Emily is trying to nab girlfriend number three but Samara knows how to play it cool. Poor Emily, she’s used to girls throwing themselves at her. Oh, and does anyone else see the budding romance between Aria and Jason? I AM SO NOT COOL WITH THIS. First, they change the actor and now they’re trying to make him likable? No thanks, y’all. But you know what? None of this matters because of the FASHION SHOW. I hope none of you were surprised when it all when to pieces.

Let’s begin with the girls in their day to day attire, shall we? The fringe might be a little much but I’ll be honest, I’m totally digging this Aria look. Actually, it’s the vest that really seals the deal but, like I said, the fringey tassels could go. It’s a great BoHo look pairing the graphic tee with some big jewelry, and adding texture with the vest. High fives, girl! If only you were even remotely old enough to understand where that look originated, I’d be totes sold.

Oh good, we’re back to regular Aria programming. I was worried that I might not see something floral and abrasive this episode. There’s a good question: are feathers or florals Aria’s dominant fashion fetish? ...And people say I’m not philosophical.

I’m a fan of tye-dye in any form so I’m OK with Emily wearing this bed sheet she’s clearly repurposed as clothing. Girl, you have a window seat in your bedroom and your own car, why not spring for some real clothing?

Alright, it’s a step in the right direction. Now, when I said “clothing” I meant dress like Hannah or Spencer; I’d suggest Aria but Emily doesn’t have the chops to pull off some of those outfits. A baseball t-shirt? Really? That had better be a smock protecting your threads underneath.

Hanna and her friends joined everyone for lunch! Honeychild, that’s a lot of breast for the daylight. Also, this shot is from the lunch called by the one and only, Jennifer DiLaurentis. Do you wear a cleavage top to lunch with your dead friend’s mother while trying to plan a charity fashion show? No, you do not. Unless you’re eating at Coyote Ugly. 

Spencer’s face suggests anger and frustration... but look at those adorable hearts on her shirt! Hmm, let’s take a closer look at the hearts - what’s up with that? Such a cutesy pattern for such a preppy girl. It’s something I’d expect to see on a school teacher in her early 40s because she wants to seem approachable and whatnot. Spencer, you can do better. 

Now that’s what I’m talking about! In a later shot, we’ll see that this is actually a little sundress that Spencer pairs with white, sheer leggings that scream ADORBZ. Work that pinafore, sister. Laura Ingalls couldn’t have done it better.

Now, for a quick snapshot of Toby and his lady love at the fashion show. He does clean up rather well, huh? I don’t know what’s causing it but Spencer’s hair in this scene is fan-tas-tic. With a capital Vidal Sassoon. Side note: where did they get all the “swag bags” for a high school fashion show?!

Apparently, it was crop top day during the dry run of the show. Is this a thing models do? Am I that out of touch?

Subsequently, this is what the girls wore AFTER the fashion show had wrapped. Seriously... am I missing something here? I would think that after an exhausting event to plan and execute, you’d want to slip into some nasty sweatpants, not get stitched into a dress while you stand around and speculate.

So, if there’s one thing we learned this week it’s that (starting top left moving clockwise):

 1. Don’t give away the goods at lunch

2. Pinafores double as high fashion and practical barista wear

3. Baseball t-shirts are good for one bloody thing: their namesake 

4. When it doubt, bat your lashes and say something spiritual.

Never Letting Go - Part 2 of 3 - We Need The Background Players

Oh Ella, sweetheart, can we talk about the boots for a minute? They’re still great, and sexy, and smart and all of those good things, but we’re in Season 2. It’s time to get over them and move on. I guess now we know where Aria gets her passion for boots all the time, any time.

Look what happens on the mom front when you throw caution to the wind? You get a stunner like Ashley Marin. I mean, wow... this colour. We all agreed that Hanna knows how to wear the hell out of a red frock but this is just proof that she got it from her mama. Can you blame Tom for wanting to get back with that? YOU GUYS, THE COLOUR.

To be honest, I hope Hanna’s parent don’t get back together. Oh sure, martini time looks like fun but let’s compare the Ashley visuals. Look up at the red. Now look at this black blouse. Unfair comparison? Maybe, but when you consider how lax Ashley has been in her wardrobe since Tom’s been back, I don’t like how that bodes for the future. But, girlfriend is drinking a dry martini so I’m appeased.

Capping off the mom trifecta is someone who reeks of old money, Jennifer DiLaurentis. Know how I know she’s a WASP? Check out the pearls. That is country club casual but I wouldn’t expect anything less from the woman who sired the criminal mastermind we know as Alison.

At least this new Jason’s hair matches his mother’s. Same thing with his features too. It’s just a shame that his white collared shirt looks, upon closer inspection, seems to be of a raised pinstripe. Texture? On a collared shirt? What is this, the rodeo?

Dudes, we all need to take a lesson from Caleb. His top button is undone which is like a total fashion faux-pas, but he’s rocking his flowing locks and a pocket square. Amaze-a-tron. It doesn’t hurt that we all know what kind of upper body he’s working with either. 

It’s kind of a shame that Noel Kahn is so creepy these days, because otherwise he’s a babe. I’m not loving his whole “DJ” look; like I really believe this jock in high school knows how to mix a track, let alone produce the musical part of a fashion show. These girls (somehow) are wearing haute couture and you’re rocking a shirt/tie/hoody combination? Caleb is homeless and is wearing a suit. WTF, dude.

Heads up: this is what a real student at Rosewood High wears to school. Which again begs the question, where are the Pretty Little Liars finding these clothes?

Even Samara doesn’t go in for over-the-top style, thought I suppose it’s because she looks way too cute in this top. Am I seeing a tank top and cardigan hybrid? Whatever, it looks great.

Mona has some choice outfits this week, especially in the fashion show, but I didn’t want to blur the lines so these photos are in this section. First, we need to chat about this disco saddlebag she’s using as a purse. I’m assuming she was carrying food and water for her harem should they begin to get weak from malnutrition after kissing her ass all day. A harem with a strong constitution is hard to find these days.

See, I wasn’t lying when I said it was crop top day during fashion show rehearsal. Mona, some advice if I may: less sequins never hurt anyone, OK? In fact, an abundance of sequins in that kind of concentration is bound to turn someone blind.

Side note: A has great taste. Don’t judge.

Never Letting Go - Part 3 of 3 - Fashion Show

FINALLY. It’s fashion show time. I was born for this stuff.

Let’s do a throwback to the girl who apparently “lived” for this fashion show - Alison. I happened to watch this episode with a friend of mine who had never laid eyes on Pretty Little Liars before and after this scene with Alison, his exact words were, “So, their dead friend is kind of a bitch”.

I repeat: this is a HIGH SCHOOL production.

I loved this guest’s outfit. The gold, the details, the hair and jewelry - it was beautiful.

Even Samara kicked it up a notch with this lovely champagne cocktail dress. Adorable. 

OK, first up: Hanna and Aria. Clearly rocking something from the Coachella collection. I’m a fan of Aria’s outfit, although her hat was obviously designed for straining rain water. That is a big hat. Hannah kind of looks like she could be in Easy Rider, only with less drug abuse and more temper tantrums. Overall, an excellent start to the night. 

Spencer and Emily, however, not only kill it walking this runway - they straight up murder it. Spencer’s hat is about the same size as Aria’s but with the oversized glasses, attitude and enormous necklace, she looks incredible. Purple is a fabulous colour on Emily and she knows it. Look at the smile, you walking pile of sass.

Annnnd here’s Mona! Obviously, she’s in her element on a runway because she can wear whatever gaudy contraption she’s found and people have to pay attention to her. Smart. Although, I’m sure everyone is looking at the pre-teen in the see-through top on her right. Were there no chaperones?!

Did anyone else find it insufferable when Mona bursts into the scene with her glasses, clipboard and headset? Apparently, wearing glasses means you’re a legitimate business woman. So that’s what I’ve been missing...

It’s better than this Victorian nightmare that was unleashed on us after the beach wear they crammed down our throats. I just don’t even know where to start. Maybe it’s the Filipino drag queen make-up style, maybe it’s the poofy thing on the side of her head, or maybe it’s the belted shirt with ripped, lace leggings that’s driving me crazy, but either way, this is mental. You see what happens when you encourage Lady Gaga? Do you see?!

Too bad Mona couldn’t pull it off like Aria and Spencer. I think this is what it would look like if Dorothy Parker and Heidi went to a S&M leather bar. The fur collar seems a little strange to me but after this fashion show, I’ve realized that questioning how PLL fashion comes to be is a fruitless quest. I’ll just keep asking why they wear it.

Just look at the back of these dresses - the fabric is more distressed than I am after watching Mona strut her stuff.

OK, these are some stunning dresses. Aria must have thrown a fit when she saw Emily getting to wear the feather dress. Think of the blood lust Aria will have after this event - not a single fowl will be safe in Rosewood. Anyone else love the fact that each characters’ parents are meant to be strict, and yet they let their kids parade around in barely-there clothing? Yeah, irony is hot. 

At least our girls weren’t subjected to glitter tights and this corset that would frighten even Galliano. 

Leave it Spencer to get the deepest cut V-neck with the least amount of, umm... chest. Is that how it works? With dudes, guys with the biggest pecs get to wear the low cut shirts. At any rate, the girls are looking gorgeous. 

Ugh. Such a cute dress on Aria. For reals, I love this updated Wilma Flintstore kind of aesthetic. Compared to Hanna’s simple black dress, Aria is stealing the show. 

Finally, we end this week’s fantabulous episode with a group shot. I suppose we’ve also learned that it’s never too soon to have a Poison themed party. Where hair is concerned in a Rosewood fashion show, you go big or you go home.

Mini Recap: Never Letting Go

The moment we have been waiting for!!! Well at least here at YKYLF...the FASHION EPISODE! While slightly disappointing that the "fashion" was merely over-the-top costumes, instead of over-the-top couture, it was fun and I still loved it. The PLLs were all decked out and looked fierce. Meanwhile, a tribute was planned for Ali at the fashion event and of course, 'A' has to make his/her mark--scary. 

Drama-rama du jour
The girls have to wear some of Ali's old dresses in the fashion show. Can you say creepy?

Gratuitous Male Shirtlessness
A big fat zero. 

Best Outfit
While the outfits at left that Hanna and Emily wore were my favorite from the fashion show, two others tie for Best Outfit this week. Ashley (like daughter, like mother) wears a fab red dress. And Caleb shows us he knows how to clean up real well. 

Best "A" Message
"My dresses. My games. My rules. -A"

Current "A" suspect
Noel is looking more suspicious by the minute.

Anthony gets the lucky job of recapping the fashion event of the season! Snarky goodness coming at you on Friday!