It's a little hard to relate to people like Naomi who spend thousands of dollars on a birthday party for a nephew and niece they've never met. Of course, there's a perfect explanation for it — Mark is in jail because Annie's book revealed her slut days and a former lover decided to get revenge by planting cocaine in Mark's bag. Naomi decided that planning a huge party will distract Mark's children from the fact that he's missing their birthday and he can keep his custody. The fact that this is a real situation is mind-boggling in itself, but there was some competition for the leading story — baby-mama Michaela spent the entire episode trying to annoy Silver, only to run away from home. Navid and Adrianna are now having sex again (this will probably end well), and Liam went on a downhill spiral by being a man whore and basically drinking beer in his leather jacket for the entire episode. Oh and deciding to move to Australia in the last 30 seconds of the show. Also, sketchy how Naomi's new boy toy is weirdly controlled by his mother. Something fishy is bound to pop up soon, and we only have two episodes left!
The Daring Ladies
Naomi's jail visit was good practice for the future, when she's the rich, fashionable wife of a convict who struts into jail and wows all the other inmates.
Okay... focus. She wore a beautiful red and black patterned suit that made my jaw drop. Anyone else wearing that would have looked ridiculous, but as per usz, Naomi pulled out a statement necklace, amazing hair products, A BEAUTIFUL CORAL BAG THAT WASN'T SHOWN ENOUGH, and a bold attitude. Voila! The perfect outfit for work, brunch, or jail.
Also, quote of the week, courtesy of Naomi Clarke: "Ok, Annie was a hooker and my rap sheet is like a mile long. We still love you." It's so good to be accepting of family members.
Golf claps to Annie for stepping out of the box with this outfit, but I'm confused by the distribution of the pattern. Half on the front, half on the back? A little bizarre, but hey! It's a style. And the silk material of the shirt was just darrrrling.
Adrianna went a little less modern than her girlfriends, and opted for decades day instead. First she wore Renaissance, mustard-colored, flower-patterened curtains, followed by a Little House on the Prairie frock. I undecided on the lilac dress. Is it feminine and pretty or did flower girl go a leeetle crazy with a pair of scissors? I do appreciate the length and bottom of the dress though, even if her boobs look like two bags of sand.
I'd really like a drumroll for Silver's outfit below, because...BAM! I don't know if it's because I watched this episode very late at night and because I'm writing this very early in the morning, but I LOVE THIS OUTFIT. Seriously. It's so daring, so original, so...chic. And of course Silver had a beautiful long, statement necklace that totally contrasted with the pattern to match with it because as we have discussed before, she is Queen of Accessories.
I hate to focus so much on Silver because she's kind of been a huge ass, but I must admit she showcased some stellar outfits. First off, the top below? Adorbs! Just Silver's style and, of course, paired with an interesting chain necklace. I'm ticked they didn't show the skirt more, but I can just tell I'm in love with it anyway. So artsy. So Silver.
So, was she done? Please, not even. Silver next knocked it out of the park with a sheer maxi skirt and beautiful wedged leather sandals. I need these, pronto. The green bag was a little Polly Pocket for me, and it distracted a little from the gorgeous outfit she had planned. I would have chosen a studded tote bag or small leather clutch, but Silver never invites me over to play dress-up.
Boys, boys, boys...
Dixon went back to his button-down-over-a-tee default (which I personally don't dislike) but the ombre...oh hell no.
Liam wore a leather jacket and a bra on his shoulder (to be classy?) and then his Corporate Invaders costume for the childrens' birthday party (hey, it's for the kids).
I was silently hoping Mark's jail experience would spur a come-to-Jesus moment re: his overuse of hair products, but no. Hair gel TO THE MAX in or out of jail! I mean, really? Isn't your emergency stash of Dippity-doo one of the things they collect and make you put in that manilla envelope, only to be seen again when you check out?
Naomi's boytoy Jordan did manage to bring us one decent men's outfit, although sadly, I could only get this blurry shot. Sure, he looks ready to golf or attend to a casual business brunch, and I can dig that.
Plus we got another look at Naomi's phenomenal suit.
Navid also blew me away this week — no more plaid! A classy button-up, NO TATTERED JEANS, and THESE SHOES. No wonder Adrianna's back with him!
The Invisible Guest
You guys, there was a party on 90210 this week yet...there was no musical guest! I am highly disappointed that Naomi's extravagant b-day party didn't include a surprise performance by Rihanna, Beyoncé, etc.
Naomi's Crazy Scheme of the Week
Naomi's whole "bust Mark our of prison" plan did not go according to plan (raise your hand if you're shocked), but we did get to see her try really hard in a princess dress. I'll give full credit because I'm nice like that. And Mark did get out, so gold stars all around!
Somehow, this seemed like a totally normal look for her, which scared me. How on earth could someone look decent wearing this? I'm honestly perplexed. Maybe I like Naomi too much to be snark on her fairy princess attire. That must be it.
Right, so, Mark got out. And his lawyer may be a character we'll never see again, which is a shame, because both her outfits were so very Naomi-esque. And peep that hair! Can we keep her, please?
Also, check out Naomi in a wonderful cut-out Opening Ceremony dress, Dixon in plaid (ugh) and MARK IN A SUIT OMG YAY!
Dramz of the Week
While everyone was worrying about Mark in jail, Michaela had to deal with Silver wanting her to stay home and be a good baby-mama vs. Dixon wanting her to go on tour. In the end, she ran away from both of them (with the baby) so I'm guessing Silver's stress level has passed 100%.
Michaela's outfits were not as detailed as the other girls, but I appreciate her efforts to join the 90210 community. The vest to the right is perfect to fit her hair color! Guys, she's learning. Too bad we'll probably never see her again.
This is my last 90210 recap, so I'm going to end with my personal fave, Naomi. Her dress has me fiending for springtime, and florals, and sandals, and basically living in California. Yet the structured doctor's bag and gladiator heels give it a bit of an edge, just like my girl.
Gonna miss you and your crazy schemes, you nutty biatch.