The words “fresh start” are now etched onto my shit list of phrases I loathe. Now that 90210 is over, I will no longer live vicariously through Naomi Clark’s geometric patterned dresses, Silver’s palazzo pants, Annie’s perpetually bouncy hair or Adrianna’s blank stares. After the explosion last week, our favourite rich kids get thrown together to realize they can’t be afraid of life, and that experiencing trauma means you have to rush into major life choices because life is a stage that’s just waiting to explode, you know? I’m glad that mostly everything was wrapped up in a neat little bow *and* the gang retained their tenuous grip on being rational people. Oh, except Silver got a pretty raw deal. Where’s the closure on that, CW?
It’s Curtains For Y’all
No one does disaster like Naomi Clark. Though over the past 5 seasons, we’ve also learned that no one does a boat cruise, frat party, toga party, bachelorette night, 30day bender, Vegas trip, spa day, yoga retreat or horse racing event like Naomi Clark. Yes, the woman with an outfit for every occasion looks lovely in these saffron trousers with a floral top and cardigan. Note the zippered cuffs and bauble-adorned necklace — easy proof you can dress up a casual piece.
The next day, Naomi arrives with bagels and pencil skirt that would put any Mad Men character to shame. I love when people can make simple look chic. This entire outfit is made up of unremarkable pieces, but Naomi combines them into a fierce yet tasteful rescue relief ensemble.
I mean, she couldn’t walk up in there with that insane orange-print pant suit she wore 3 weeks ago. That’s like being, “Hey, I know you’ve just been in an explosion and all, but I’m going bombard your senses with my couture”. Also, let’s give her some snaps on the canvas bag. I’m going to miss this accessory inspiration.
Near the end of the episode, we see Naomi ready to board a plane to DC. We also see her looking like she’s walking to get 10s across the board. I can’t believe she managed to save the best for last! The floral jacket against a yellow hat that would only fit in at a royal wedding, and carry-on luggage that I know Victoria Beckham would give her best weave for.
While all of that is working overtime, nothing compares to the brown leather sandal pumps Naomi’s sporting. Just shut up and take my money because I owe you for owning this look, gurl.
I had to pull a close up of the hat and point out that beneath her beautiful floral jacket, Naomi is wearing a canary yellow dress to perfectly match her headwear. My favourite Naomi moment of the season will always be the time she broke into the sex shop in a catsuit, but this yellow-inspired outfit was the perfect send off.
You know, Silver’s been having a bit of a rough go lately so I can’t fault her for the casual looks. If we’re being real, the top half totally works for me. I love the broken down varsity jacket and the turquoise suede purse with fringe is just on the right side of tacky. Our girl has consistently been the poster child for indie boho chic, I just wish they had kept Silver’s style going right until the very end.
Actually, we get a quick peek at some classic Silver threads, but there was that whole stage explosion so a good H-to-T was nearly impossible to come by. However, peep on that blue leather jacket because that, my friends, is a how you dress up a leather jacket. A mini floral dress is giving you all kinds of pattern which softens the jacket and though you can’t see them, trust me that her red suede ankle boots are super sexy and make this look pop off.
It sucks that at the end of it all, Silver’s storyline wraps up with a miscarriage and cancer. I mean, she’s been pretty tragic throughout the series, why not give her just a hint of good news? The woman is still living in a garage!
With the series ending, I’d like to think Shenae Grimes will finally be able to strike the timid woodland creature face from her resume (at least until her first horror movie). Remember when the show first started and she would wear bright, pastel tank tops with jeans, and her hair was far more red? The wee girl from Kansas has totes grown into a stylish B.Hills kind of lady.
I’m usually a little put off by Annie’s style, but I adore this Dolce Vita blouse’s construction. Sure, it looks likes my Nana would be putting out the best china on it, but it’s pretty and delicate and feminine – just like Annie! Who knows, maybe the shirt was also once part of a high-end prostitution ring? Parisian style is more streamlined, but girlfriend knows how to wear an oversized piece of clothing.
Take A Bow, Boys
You know how series finales are usually filled with surprises and closure? Well, let me say that I was hardly surprised by Liam wearing his motorcycle jacket and I’m really hoping he closes that chapter in his life. Don’t get me wrong, I love the jacket but you can’t eat pizza every day without thinking, “maybe this is ruining my life?” How cute are Liam and Silver, though? Leather Jacket Twinsies! Their hook-up was one of the strangest next to Dixon and Ivy back in the day. Liam’s too dense for Silver. Handsome as hell, but dense.
Most people would see the survival of Adrianna and Navid as the good news/uplifting bit of the episode. However, I felt the most hope for the future when I saw Dixon wearing a button down that was not left open, nor was it paired with a graphic t-shirt. Get out my Songs of Praise book, y’all! Let’s also chat about his burgundy pants which are killing me softly.
For a guy who perpetually made the worst decisions and managed to indirectly cause all sorts of drama, Dixon usually had an inspirational speech or thought to smooth everything over. Oh, and the scene with him helping the mom find her son after the explosion? Adorbs. Forget being a music producer, someone get this man a radio talk show.
Under normal circumstances, Jordan would have long been cast away by Naomi but, since he’s the last boyfriend in the series, it looks like this bald beauty is here to stay. I will say this about Jordan and his family — Sweet Jesus, they are well dressed. I am living for his mint green trousers. They are so hot right now and he paired them with an oatmeal sweater which is such a dapper move.
Robin Givens is givin’ you fierce political realness with yet another chest heavy, body con dress, and I dare you to tell her she isn’t posing the house down. I’m not wild about the ivory purse — it looks military grade with all those buckles and I know she's got a slew of attachés ready to take care of her every whim.
Oh Navianna, your love story is truly one of the greats. Adrianna and Navid didn’t have any wardrobe changes this episode because girl was trapped under some rubble and let’s be real, would we even notice Navid changing outfits? It seemed a little dicey for these two, although you had to know they’d make it out alive. Even with an impromptu gas leak, they stuck it out. And amazingly, they have enough battery power and signal to text, call and stream video of Naomi’s Crazy Scheme of the Week!
Naomi’s (Final!) Crazy Scheme of the Week
Since your girl is caught in a PR nightmare after naming herself the “Drug Whore of Beverly Hills”, Naomi’s been on a power campaign to rehab her image. The bagels she brought for the relief workers were a fine start, but in true Naomi fashion, her contribution had to be bigger, flashier, and something which would require printing t-shirts. Friends, for her final crazy scheme, I present Naomi Clark’s Rescue Relief Concert!
In mere hours, she put together a fair ground filled with vendors, built a stage in a park with full sound equipment, changed into a sickening post-mod pencil skirt, had t-shirts printed with her face on them *and* managed to corral the last musical guest of the week. Honey, all my hats (and even some wigs) are off to you. Sure, the concert impeded the rescue and almost caused the gas leak to kill a few of her friends, but her heart (as always) was totes in the right place.
The Last Random Musical Guest
Out of all the musical guest stars they’ve had over the years — The Script, N.E.R.D, Ne-Yo — the last band to take the 90210 stage was The Goo Goo Dolls. I don’t have much to say about a band that hasn’t had a hit since “City Of Angels” soundtrack, but I will say this: if someone doesn’t cut Johnny Rzeznik’s hair before 2013 is over, I will fly to LA and do it myself. Side note: is anyone shocked that Good Guy Navid loves this band?
Lingering Dramz of the Week
I mean, there was so much drama all season and then suddenly it just wrapped up in about 42 minutes. OK, Silver’s got cancer but that’s more traumatic than dramatic. Even Dixon had an empty plate! However, Liam’s fling with Sydney was still in the air and everyone was all “Are you going to Australia or not, bro?”
For a woman who was afraid of losing her man, she sure kept shoving Annie’s book down Liam’s throat. And she kept referencing the end of the book where Annabelle and Leo fall in love and get married or whatever. Girl, just grab the bags and make for the airport! Maybe your combination of Silver and Naomi’s style will work down under because that teal jacket against the scallop print, which is an earth tone of all things, is not happening. Brown and blue haven’t been a thing since 2008, let it go.
While Liam and Sydney figure their shit out, Annie’s looking amazing on the runway. Literally. I love that chain strap purse and the way it highlights the tiny hints of pink her dress. Honey, you are totally ready for a Parisian book tour. Get on that plane and build yourself a whole new life full of drama in a country where you don’t speak the official language!
The Happy(ish) Endings!
That’s right, everyone got their own version of a happy ending and I won’t lie, it felt pretty good to see these kids *finally* be (relatively) happy at the same time.
Of course, Navianna are back in mad love and ready to start a life together. I predict Navid will move into artist management and handle Adrianna’s new singer/songwriter career. They’ll probably make a baby or two, visit his mom in Switzerland and never ever speak of those criminal porn charges against his dad. Oh, and Adrianna’s mom will continue to be a bit of bitch.
I have a minimal amount of hope that Sixon will reunite and be just as manic a love story as its always been. Dixon and Silver were fairly tragic in their own right, but they made a great couple. I’m thinking he’ll work with Navid and Adrianna to rebuild his music career while Silver takes on her cancer treatment like a champ. They’re not exactly uplifting conclusions, are they?
Are you gagging on this fashion!? Naomi and Jordan are definitely the best dressed coupling she’s been part of. Remember that trust fund asshole who tried to marry her and only wore cowl neck sweaters? No, Jordan is a much better piece. I’m still annoyed as hell that she and Max didn’t just take some time apart instead of rushing to divorce. Girl, you are all of 22 and thought you couldn’t handle a year apart from your husband who, by the way, was only going to be in Massachusetts which is fairly easy to get to if you have a private jet.
These two are hard to portmanteau, y’all. So far, I’ve got Jordomi and Naordan. Suggestions are welcome. PS: Annalynne McCord totally made a ridculously cheesy iMovie alternate ending for Naomi and Max which you can watch here!
There was only one way to end 90210 and for all the Lannie supporters out there, let me say that I heard your squeals of joy this week. It seems the third time is the charm for Liam and Annie’s engagement. After his first eloquent attempt with “Let’s do this” to the lavish, fireworks laden gesture, all Annie really wanted was a sexy man on a motorcycle to chase down her plane and give the most self-assured, cocky proposal I’ve ever witnessed. Go on you crazy kids and make all the love!
Bonus Wedding Photo!
Y’all, Shenae Grimes got married for reals this past week! Her new man is a fine looking British chap who’s got some killer tattoos and is in a band (duh). However, the main reason I’m mentioning this is because she wore a black tulle gown by Vera Wang and looked STUNNING.
My streak of recapping shows until the bitter end continues with 90210. I’ve downed Pan Am, The Playboy Club and Jane By Design. Now I can add the kids from Beverly Hills to my tally. Thanks for 5 years of hilariously melodramatic life decisions, y’all!