No Good Deed - Part 1 of 2 - The BFFs

This week was a little more laid back and less drama-filled than last. Naomi throws a party for Mitchell (handsome British movie star who puked on Naomi on the red carpet)'s 16 year old goth daughter. Adrianna and Dixon *almost* break up, but move in together instead, Annie started using her inheritance checks to make a difference, Navid and Silver can't bring themselves to admit their love for one another (why??) so Navid runs off to Princeton, Ivy has a gallery opening that fails, Liam starts "acting", and Jen (Naomi's DEAR sis) comes back with her adorable baby Jacques! Meh, just a usual day on the CW.

I give Adrianna points for trying to spice up her life with her boyfriend. We all know that Dixon loves music more than life itself, and that could be a little difficult for A. Her failed attempt is ruined by Silver and Navid's entrance, but hey -- at least she tried!

I am not a big fan of the flower kimono, however I do like her teal slip. I don't really know where to begin with the shoes, but Adrianna..... just no.

I finally realized why I am not the biggest fan of Adrianna's wardrobe -- she dresses too young! She's always wearing potato sack-shaped dresses and little cardigans (not that that's not cute... but every day? Really?) The colors are great, but the outline and shape resembles what an 8-year-old girl wears on the playground. Try finding smaller versions for Maisie?

Naomi, on the other hand, has no trouble dressing like an adult. Case in point, this mustard jacket, stunning brooch, and a black blouse to pull it all together. Naomi Clark's done it again!

I mean, seriously. She is perfect. Classy and well dressed, witty and clever, rich and lives in a beautiful house!

AND she has the best outfit of the episode. WHO actually looks good in a bathing suit cut like that? NAOMI CLARK, THAT'S WHO.

And, AND...she's prepared enough to have a flowy top and silver necklace just for a little poolside meeting.

On second thought, this isn't her best. Her hair style looks a little 2004 cheerleader for me, but she rocks her jewelry. Ah, to own that ring...

Professional as usual, but not too over the top (a first for Naomi), this outfit is great for working a party.

Post-party, she's up early. I'm all for capris, as long as they're jeans or pale pink (hey, we all have personal style rules). These fit her oddly and make her look a little chunky, when she's exactly the opposite. Great reptile heels though! Perfect for sitting around at home, reading the paper, sipping coffee, and musing over the previous night's events.

Moving on.

Annie's chunky necklace works well with her neckline, and the dress is a good length to wear with heels. Looking professional, Annie! Way to take a page out of Naomi's book.

I'm always so focused on jewelry that I never notice these girls' shoes. High scores for these heels!

Although we do see professional Annie coming through, neither she nor we have forgotten her cute side. The blazer/stripes combo has always been a good fallback for her.

When I said Naomi's bathing suit was the best outift in this episode, I had forgotten about these two masterpieces. The devil on the left, the angel on the right...based on their outfit colors, of course.

Although, did the invitation say "exposed hips required"?

Still, I do love a nice maxi skirt...and good choice putting the hair up!

....

?

I'm sorry, I'm having a moment. WHAT is going on?!?! Ivy's wearing Uggs? And Annie looks like a grandma? I guess this is what they REALLY look like on a rainy day at the beach when they're not fabulous in their summer clothes.

Deep breath. Anyway, it looks like our Princeton boy's ready to go away. A cardigan and a button-down, along with NO EATH-TONE PLAID. He's truly improved. I'm so proud. No, I'm not crying. Why do you ask?

Oh hey Silver, what's new? Just sitting around in some knee highs, leather bag, topping it off with a cute tunic and a hat? That's cool. Except, why must you make me envy you so?

I'm not envying this last look, though. Bit too 80s for me. Her jewelry is average, her shirt is...?

Hmm. I have no words for the shirt.

No Good Deed - Part 2 of 2 - Everyone Else

What a charming young girl. So polite, so well-turned. Certainly no daddy issues.

Wait, is this the same person? She looks like an entirely new person in these clothes! Almost like a good girl. Uh, except for the bottle of booze in her hands.

Aaaaand I take the good girl comment back. Though I do love her bra.

So let's take a look at Dear Old Dad, source of the daddy issues. His sexiness ALMOST distracts me from the fact that he's wearing a denim button down...in the pool...

Let's hope he's gasping because he's looking into a mirror... that silver scarf needs to be burned pronto. And would it hurt to button just one more button?

Sheila needs to get rid of her unflattering tight dresses. The neckline is not flattering, the fabric hugs her in all the wrong places, and let's be real -- she isn't 19 anymore. Snap out of it! But the ring...alright I HAVE to stop.

I guess I missed the coral reef tour memo...? Vanessa needs to buy an LBD and some plain white shirts. Just for my sake.

Sneaky Vanessa! She tricks us into thinking she looks fab by having amazingly luscious hair and showing her butterfly tatto on her right shoulder...

but as we see below it was just to mask her true outfit...

What. Is. This. To answer the question everyone's thinking, she looks like a mermaid on crack. The knitted/threaded top and the flowy/overlapping bottom makes me nausceous. And I'm all for color blocking, but why is her clutch twice the size of her head? Maybe her bun can fit in it too.

Sexy Liam, on the other hand, looks very Chuck Bass. Good job!

I feel the need to post this picture because A) he seems like a soon-to-be love interest for Ivy, and B) I swear it was Raj when I saw him skating. I guess Ivy likes her men to look the same. I suppose it's easier that way.

Knock knock! Our favorite bitch is back, and she looks as fierce as ever.

Has she been Skypeing with Silver on jewelry advice, and getting clothing tips from Naomi? Good thing her son looks adorable too -- Paris must have been good to him! Can't wait to see what Jen needs now.

Trust, Truth, and Traffic - Part 1 of 2 - The Blondes

Ok, let's review the crazy. Adrianna got some Q.T. with her daughter Maisy (after kidnapping her), Silver and Adrianna became friends again, Silver's college professor boyfriend (what's his name again?) dumped her, Dixon went to jail after Bree accused him of burning down her sorority house (but Austin stepped forward and gave himself in so no one would find out Annie was an escort...long story), and Vanessa helped Liam to make his bar more popular. Whew!

As usual, we're going to cry about what the boys wore, and oooo and ahhhh over the girls' jewelry.

Let's start with Ivy. Girl, you always succeed in making me jealous. Not only does she pull off a Western-styled suede fringe coat, but she is wearing a velvet floral dress under it! Now that's called perfection.

I only wish she could have left the black fringe bag at home. Between the fringe on the coat and the fringe on the bag, I'm fully expecting her to tilt her cowboy hat and hop on a horse.

Vanessa IS Vanessa Abrahms's twin. No doubt. The excess of jewelry, the teal, the outcast who came in and is trying to make friends...it's Vanessa squared on the CW!

 

I mean, seriously. Here she's more old housewife than a wild 20-year-old. And once again with the jewelry... what is this beaded belt? What is any of this? MAKE IT GO AWAY!

Hi Naomi. Thanks for saving the day. Here we see she's officially mastered the elusive boho/business/casual look with a flowy top, beaded necklace (bonus points for the lipstick matching the beads), and a cute minibag. The pants with the four golden buttons in the front give her outfit a 12 out of 10. Well done, you!

Also well done is Bree's hair. So glossy, so bouncy, and so perfected that she could totally be on Pretty Little Liars. Maybe as Hannah's sister? Crossover episode?

On the other hand, her dressing skills could use some improvement. I'm all for patterned dresses, but big feathers? Really? And a belted cardigan over it. Sigh, I guess a girl can't have everything right.

Did you ever see those old commercials about chocolate running into peanut butter?

Well, this is what happens when a hippie runs into a group of biker chicks.

Although, I'm actually liking this look. The maxi skirt with the knot in the front shows off her black leather booties. Major snaps to the hat and piles of bracelets. Way to finish an outfit, Ivy.

Now THIS is a ring. WANT!

But the rest of Naomi's bar party outfit is not her best. Although the accessories are a good touch and the top is flattering, the high-waisted skirt makes her look a bit wider than she normally is, and the band of the skirt hugs her waist much too tightly.

Vanessa's top is weirdly beautiful on her, and it falls elegantly on her shoulders. She matches this with perfect red pants...I might have to get a pair. You know, to go with Naomi's ring.

My favorite snapshot of this episode! Liam and Naomi, looking like a classy couple in a convertible with Liam wearing denim, and Naomi...just looking beautiful.

Do you think the ring comes with the convertible?

Trust, Truth, and Traffic - Part 2 of 2 - The Brunettes and Boys

It's Mean Girls at CU!

Except rather than pink on Wednesdays, Silver sports shiny black penny loafers and patterned shorts, while Annie pulls off the tied blouse with beige pants and matching heels.

My only problem would be Silver's weird knit bag. Though I give her points for the bright color, it kind of looks like a rag. Or like a cat threw up on their table.

If only Silver wore her hair like this everyday! She should be yodelling in the mountains in a cute dress, but I approve her matching it with a summer outfit.

Here comes our red mess again, but I find it more disturbing that we see Adrianna listening in on their conversation. Does no one notice her standing in the middle of the room motionless?? Ps: RIP Silver and Greg. Sniff.

And what is our little eavesdropper wearing? Uh...I'm not sure. No, seriously, I honestly could not tell what this was when I saw it. Is it random patches? Flowers? A rainbow leopard?

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. So much multicolor in this episode series. Silver's cozy multistripe sweater goes nicely with her beaded top. I'm not a huge fan of multicolored stripes, but Silver can pull anything off.

Annie wore her baggy black dress in the best way one can -- with a nude/beige cardigan, black heels, and adorable jewelry! I am absolutely in love with her golden necklace.

I pitied Adrianna during this episode. It was heartbreaking to see her watch her daughter from afar and not know what to do. Doesn't she look so lost? Lost, yet perfectly simple in her polka-dotted skirt and matching blue sweater. Hey, if you're gonna be sad, be stylishly sad.

And yay! Adrianna and Silver are friends again!

But enough about the girls. Here's what you've missed in the boy department: Nothing. We see all of the usual trends...

Liam looking like a lumberjack! (With sexy Liam in the background...)

Navid wearing earth-tone plaid.

Dixon wearing a regular tee and a sweater/blazer thing, as per usual.

And finally, Austin in a cowboy hat.

zzz...zzz...ZZZZZ...::snort::

Sorry. Fell asleep there at the end.

Mama Can You Hear Me? - Part 1 of 2 - Sad Pants & Troublemakers

"Hey friends! Remember when I said I was moving across the country for school? Jokes!" - basically what Annie should have said in this episode. Why? Because sister is still in town "watching" over Liam. Or rather, "obsessing". So his new girlfriend almost killed him in a hit-and-run which she covered up with a massive lie... she is going to tell him about! At least you’re not trying to mend a really savage mother-daughter relationship like Naomi, who succeeds (yay!) but it costs her a dream job (boo!). Everyone else this week seems to be on their high horse: Navid about Greg, Silver about Navid, Adrianna about everything (since that’s her thing now), Ivy about everything (because that was always her thing), even Dixon about that country sad-sack Austin. But you know what we did see this week? Austin’s killer body and chest hair. I’m dead.

In the showdown over Silver, it’s between soft-spoken and whiny Navid, and seemingly put together, adorable foster dad Greg. Hmm, tough choice... KIDDING! You obviously choose Greg. He’s adorable, has a career, and dresses sharply. Look at that plaid and his tidy hair - it’s perfect. What have you got with Navid? The heir to a pornography legacy who’s family borders on old school organized crime and someone who thinks that frumpy olive coat works anywhere.

Come on! Look at this! It’s hot couple 101, people. Silver’s dress even has pockets and she’s not afraid to use them. Greg’s blazer and basic sweater combination are flawless. It’s astounding and he wants to move to New York; he doesn’t specify New York City, but we all know that’s what he means.

In the world of 90210 boyfriends that aren’t main characters, Greg is killing it. Let’s compare him to Nick, who’s wearing the bowtie they use as a breakwater when the tide comes in. I’m not sure it could get any larger, but I bet he’d try. Just as an aside, this totally proves the ‘bigger is better’ saying wrong. So very, very wrong.

Two things here: 

- What is with the giant bowties? Did I miss something? Are we slowly bringing back cravats? 

- Does every ‘bad boy’ Englishman who’s a celebrity in American movies/television have to wear one of the awful thin scarves? And do I have to blame Russell Brand for this? 

Oh well, at least there’s Liam. Good old, reliable, trustworthy, only wears classic t-shirts Liam. He might be a little thick, but he’s got a good heart.

And we know that, if push came to shove, he and Vanessa make a dynamite Danny & Sandy for a “Grease” revival.

Plot point: Vanessa finally tells Liam that she totaled him that night with her car, and explains the fake IDs and the whole backstory, blah, blah, blah. I’m a little surprised the big reveal came so early, I was hoping they’d wind Annie’s crazy level up a few more notches. It was really just, “BTdubz, I hit you with my car” and then everyone was OK. Except the people living near this oil refinery where Vanessa dragged Liam. What is this, Pittsburgh? 

Anyway, if when Liam does break up with Vanessa, he can hang with Austin and heal the good old fashioned way a man is supposed to heal - by getting blind drunk. It’s no secret that I have major love on for Austin, what with his Southern charm and cowboy style, but seeing him in his cowboy pyjama pants pretty much put me on the floor.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, and that all we’d see is him face down in a pitcher of beer (which I’d totally be into), we see this:

 

A silly smirk and his killer body. Yeah, he’s been shirtless before, but with the chest hair and the hangover... he pulled a Destiny’s Child and made me lose my breath. Yes, I’m so gay that I used a Destiny’s Child lyric to describe the minor fit I had over this shot. 

It’s too bad he and Dixon might have inadvertently burned down Holly’s sorority house. Also, eggs and TP as revenge? Dixon, I know you’re all about living clean and whatnot, but a drink might help up your plotting game. Have you heard of a woman name Emily Thorne? She’s pretty good at Revenge(!!!).