We’ve been away from the Carringtons for a few weeks, but better late than never to catch up on their dramatic fashion.
Here’s where we are. Matthew is definitely dead, so no sad puppy dog eyes all season except in sexy flashbacks. Claudia’s deal isn’t dementia, but a car accident. The Carrington surprise wedding is now a surprise crisis communications to deal with the workplace accident/murder investigation. Cristal needs to burn all her Matthew mementos since it’s now a murder investigation and Blake gets super petty and gives them to Claudia by saying they were personal effects from the office. Super passive-aggressive move. Fallon made the mistake of forwarding incriminating photos to her dad in a #butwhataboutheremail move. Cristal jumps on the Carrington bandwagon and pretends she didn’t love Matthew during the funeral/PR event. Steven and Sammy Jo take a very short break. Anders gives us some clues about Cristal’s past as Celia Machado. And the FBI show up and arrest Steven, the least likely suspect in the room, for the murder of Matthew.
The only costume change we get right away is Cristal, who obviously can’t be hanging out in one of her seventeen wedding outfits.
The cashmere turtleneck and silk pants with a bow are a nice touch when you need to look glam and feel sad at the same time.
Morning wear at Carrington Manor involves what I can only describe as a demi-turban with an embroidered silk bathrobe and I’m pretty sure this girl is my new favorite on TV.
I mean, I still love Veronica’s daytime pearls over in Riverdale, but we’re moving into turban territory here folks and a casual breakfast turban will always win here at YKYLF.
Steven finally jazzes it up a wee bit with what might be some Liberty of London print and coloured pants.
It’s not super exciting, but anything will do when it comes to Carrington dude fashions.
Sammy Jo on the other hand, makes it interesting with his choice of breakfast wear.
I mean, throwing on a t-shirt wouldn’t kill him. But I guess he really wanted to get in for the croissants before everyone else in the house. (That is quite the breakfast spread and I want it in my life).
While he’s swanning about in a tank, ripped jeans, Cristal is doing what seems to be a complicated construction of a cardigan that looks damn cozy for strolling the grounds when you’re super sad about losing your side dude though.
While Cristal has a permanent “I’m so sad the love of my life died” look for most of the episode, Fallon perfects the look of not giving a shit. Probably because she doesn’t.
Although I’ve got questions about that Gucci fanny pack paired with a crop top. Mostly one actually. Why? There are few situations in life post-1991 where a fanny pack is either acceptable or required with an outfit. This family meeting doesn’t seem like one of them.
Blake, on the other hand, raises few fashion question. Instead, he does what all rich white dudes in shows about rich folks do – he goes super sensible in shades of blue with the occasional cigar.
I assume we should expect this all season. His real usefulness to our recaps is not fashion, but sitting around and saying, “you, Mr. Corrupt Police Chief, must find that phone or my family is ruined” with the door open so every passerby can hear. Thank god he has majordomo Anders around to close the door and deliver one-liners to eavesdroppers.
I like the three-point pocket square Anders.
I’m beginning to sense a trend in this show for Cristal and a love of neutrals.
Thank god the cuts are impeccable. Because shades of beige and grey and white are going to get boring fast. However, this blouse is great. Probably not what I’d wear if I were in mourning, but to each their own. I have no good screenshots of it, but it looked fab with jeans and boots.
Michael the driver/secret dude for Fallon is here to take off his shirt again.
Hiiiiii gratuitous male shirtlessness. So far, this is his only reason to exist on the series and I’m not exactly arguing.
One thing I’m learning about our cast of characters is that no one does gaudy, over-the-top, you-guys-I-am-really-rich like Fallon.
Sure, why not a flashy Chanel tweed moto for some casual drinks to discuss how you permanently delete an email trail (you don’t. You just wait for it to bite you in the ass some day. Politicians and Sony executives have all taught me that).
But no one can match her “look! I’m wealthy!” flash better than Jeff Colby and his sister Monica.
Luxe velvet jackets, loud prints, and bold frames plus her turtleneck sequins?
The Colbys are here to bring us the flash and jewel tones and I thank them for that. I just wish we’d get a little more of this. I hope I don’t say that for every episode – we’re so for 0-2 on seeing a full shot of Monica’s sequins.
Claudia meanwhile keeps on with the sad cardigans and sad hair.
I’m glad to learn that whatever is up with Claudia is the result of a head injury and not early onset dementia as I previously thought. Because in the land of soap operas, you can have a miraculous recovery from things like car accident induced delusions, paranoia, and sad cardigans. Let’s just hope it happens soon because I’m only going to screenshot so many frumpy cardigans.
Back at the Carrington manor, bedtime is just as glam as breakfast.
Satin stripes while you get an end of day pedi? Sign me up.
If you thought Cristal did wedding wear well with her many, many white outfits, she does mourning almost as well.
The oversized sunglasses are perfect for secretly weeping over your secret lover. And I love the lace overlay on this dress. I really wish I could have gotten a decent shot of the bold zipper on the back of this number that kept it from looking too matronly. Although she gets a little shades of Blair Waldorf with her headwear.
The real winner for funeral headwear is Fallon’s Carmen Sandiego look.
Just take off the black veil and she can go from mourner to super spy in seconds.
And while it’s no fountain, big props to Cristal for pushing Fallon into an open grave for our catfight of the week.
Although I’d like to see Fallon get in a good push one of these days. So far she’s won with the zingers, while Cristal is in the lead for slaps and pushes.
Since her outfit was ruined by falling six feet under, Fallon goes for a slinky red number to make an entrance for the wake.
Absolutely inappropriate for the occasion and sometimes I wonder if Fallon was raised by wolves when it comes to social graces. Apparently, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and it’s suggested she’s just like her mother. They name drop the spirit of Alexis Carrington at least twice an episode, so, you guys, she better be good. I want to see some seriously inspired casting.
Jeff Colby continues to dress to impress this week with the bold blazers.
I feel like this is his version of subtle and daytime and I’m all over the maroon trim. I fully enjoy his mix and matching of prints.
And while I did say that Fallon’s choices were inappropriate for the wake, Sammy Jo continues to go for gold when it comes to being the most inappropriate by choosing to ignore at least seven buttons to achieve that plunging neckline, showcasing a rosary as an accessory.
I mean sure. He makes it work. But maybe doing up at least one of those buttons before the funeral wouldn’t kill you.
The Carringtons are currently 2-0 on ending an event with a bang. A wedding ends with a murder and the funeral ends with an arrest. And, of course, a group reaction.
This group lives for both the drama and the group reaction shots. Two of my favourite things in a show I’m recapping.