AD, who’s never met an ultimatum she doesn’t love, does what she always does: tries to drive a wedge between the Liars. They decide to show AD who’s boss and stick together, except for Aria because, you know, traitor. We see the return of some of Rosewood’s finest – and most mediocre cops – Tanner and Teen Cop Toby. AD continues to mess with Aria, giving the police both alibis and damning evidence against her. And this week, it’s one of our prime suspects shhhhhs’ing us.

Before we dive into all the details of the episode, let’s just get the Mona situation out of the way.

I think we can all agree that I.Marlene is just fucking with us now. There’s no way the reveal is just a confirmation that it was Mona all along. Sure she can be shady af and she’s an evil genius, but if she were AD, they wouldn’t show us her wall of clues. I learned that lesson when we saw Ezra’s wall of stalkery clues. They’re just trying to give us mixed messages about what’s coming. Mixed like my feelings on this outfit.

I’m here for the tweed with the big bold collar and I could get on board with that bow (the costume department is really loving a bow this season) if it wasn’t for that star print. It’s too twee for what is otherwise a sophisticated feeling outfit. The owl earrings would have been enough to keep this outfit from getting boring. (Maybe the owls are a nod to the Twin Peaks revival? They’re not what they seem, you know.)

I know I’ve said this before, but I feel like the person who was really counting down the days to the end of PLL is Shay Mitchell. Because while I’m sure they’re super comfortable, girlfriend must be tired of the gray sweats by now. I mean, how many sweatshirts have we recapped? 

Her and Alison almost have a little pre-work sexytimes, but AD ruins their plans for a happy morning with the game and a search warrant.

Since they don’t suspect Aria yet, they give her a head’s up about the cops so she has time to shred her statement about Ezra being a creep

This promo photo makes it look like Aria discussed the shredding of the document with someone. Rest assured that Aria is making all of her bad decisions without ever discussing them with anyone.

Aria’s outfit for shredding the evidence of Ezra’s skeevy past ways is kind of basic, but cute.

The innocent looking braids and the cozy sweater with thumbholes is aces, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before that button
fly gets a sweatered thumbs up from me.

And just when you think Ezra couldn’t get any skeevier, he actually has this moment in WASPy plaid where he says, “Yeah, I knew you were going to file charges. And I know you were mad that I stalked and seduced you and your even younger friend, but we’re totally stronger because we moved past it and found love.”

Toxic masculinity much?

Unimpressed with the search warrant and seizure of their phones, Spencer marches into the police station looking for Hot Cop in an amazing chevron print blouse and flowy gray trench with indignation as an accessory.

I mean, let’s try to get a better look at this trench.

Here for it.

Instead of Hot Cop, guess who’s on the case?

Well hello again, Detective Tanner! I’m not sure where you went, but it’s nice to see you back. You may be the only returning character I’m happy to see. You’re also the only cop in this town who is both competent and not trying to sleep with a much younger woman. Kudos to you. She’s super convinced Spencer is guilty of something and let’s face it, she’s not wrong.

Back to that gem of a blouse though.

It would be a perfect outfit if only she wasn’t committing high crimes against denim. 

Both she and Hanna are doing horrible things to denim lately. I’m pretty sure Spencer is wearing the same pair that ruined another perfectly good blouse. And Hanna’s – well – there isn’t much to ruin in her outfit. 

While I’m happy that they finally freed her of the daily bomber jacket – and I do like the cut of this one – I’m not loving the jacket’s excessive fringe or the boho print body suit with colors and patterns straight out of ’70s wallpaper my parents had.

Spencer isn’t the only one working a strong blouse game the week, Aria is on it with this one.

This is like Rayna James (pour one out) of Nashville strong. Unlike Spencer, she’s not falling into the trap of bad denim for this outfit. A great blouse and jeans aren’t enough to make Spencer forgive and forget when the cops show up to deliver a present from AD — there’s traffic camera footage of her on a live free or die trip to New Hampshire on the night of Archer Dunhill’s death. Cute enough outfit from Spencer, but this color blocking isn’t really worth talking about. At least the jeans are an improvement on the other pair.  

As the Liars go on lockdown in the Radley (way more comfortable than Spencer’s last lockdown there), Emison makes it Facebook officials and lets everyone (with the exception of the missing turncoat, Aria) know their relationship status.

Super cute grins from these two. And from what I can see, I dig the slightly deconstructed burgundy sweater on Emily. It’s totally expected from Emily, but it’s nice to get something other than a sweatshirt on her. Alison’s is possibly wearing a blazer with a leather body and sheer sleeves and I don’t even know what to do with that mess.

And because a search warrant isn’t enough fun for first thing in the morning, AD delivers a cell phone salad to them with their room service.

They go one for all and all for one on this ultimatum, but obviously, Aria didn’t get that memo. Which is why she gets caught black hoodie in the woods trying to meet AD. (Thanks for the tip, Mona!)

Weirdly, Spencer’s reaction to this betrayal is, “My parents are getting a divorce because of you!”

Really? This is your problem with Aria? Those two needed to split up ages ago. He’s slept with the neighbor and her secret twin and fathered children with both of them and possibly killed one of them. Aria’s work for AD might have been the straw that broke that camel’s back, but let’s not pretend that this relationship was even remotely functional. I mean sure, be pissed at Aria for double-crossing all y’all to save her predator/stalker fiancé, but don’t be mad at her for the breakup of the most dysfunctional family in Rosewood. And that title is quite an accomplishment considering Toby’s step-sister blackmailed him into sleeping with her.

Speaking of Toby, someone dragged him out of his survivalist mode in the woods with a beard that should have taken years to cultivate, but he manages in what is maybe a week. Time in Rosewood is very timey-whimey. Facial hair defies physics here. 

 

I feel like that beard is hiding secrets because it seemed like he was digging for details from Spencer to give to Tanner. Maybe once a Teen Cop, always a Teen Cop?

Whatever, she’s not giving anything away. Not to Toby and not to Tanner.

Love the nod to the Usual Suspects this week. Maybe AD is Keyser Söze? But seriously, if this is a clue, then we’re onto something about it being one of the Liars. I’m starting to wonder if this is where we’re going.  

Like Spencer or Aria will just get into a car and poof! AD is gone.

Maybe the Usual Suspects moment and the AD countdown has the ladies realizing time is fleeting. Because three out of four Liars get it on during a musical montage this week.  Aria’s moment is just the two of them in a couch, so not worth screencapping, but Alison buys out Pottery Barn and then takes Emily out for a night hike and some romance.

Real talk though, she’s pregnant and being questioned by the police – where the hell did she find the time and energy to drag all of those pillows and candles out into the woods? Great tan leather blazer though. 

It’s the exact same cut as every other blazer she owns, but I like that this one is leather.

Spencer goes full femme fatale and heads out to Toby’s cabin for a visit in a terrific, and very unpreppy, black dress and leather jacket.

Toby is all, “this doesn’t sound like the Spencer I know” when she says she’s all que sera sera about what will happen next with the cops. This is probably because it’s the Secret Spencer Twin. Toby’s Teen Cop senses aren’t picking any of the secret twin stuff up, so they just get it on.

Since they had their sexy moment in the tent last week, Caleb and Hanna’s part of the musical montage was an adorable and really practical elopement (yay for not testifying against your spouse!) with her mom as the witness.

Mazel Tov you two! You guys are just the best. And while this isn’t what Hanna would wear if she knew she was getting married (that would probably be something early-Madonna with tulle and sheer and a big belt), I do love the 80s vibe of this pink and blue blousy dress with pale denim.

If she has to pick a decade for inspiration, the 80s are way better than the 70s on her.

And let’s just take a knee so we can fully appreciate how Ashley is not only the best parent in Rosewood, but she also has the most consistent style over seven seasons.

She hasn’t met a sheath dress she doesn’t love. The best this week is the black lace overlay. I’m sad we couldn’t see more of it. I’d especially love to see what kind of shoes she’d wear with that. 

Finally, when the AD timer runs out, the remaining Liars stick together and watch the clock run out together.

I have no idea what either half of Emison was wearing — probably a t-shirt and leather jacket and a pantsuit. I’m not still not feeling Hanna’s decision to wear 6s0/70s inspired browns and yellows. Especially not with a built in choker. Hard pass there. Spencer, however, no longer in body clinging black (probably because that wasn’t her in the cabin. I’m totally buying into this theory) wins this week with the preppiest navy sweater and striped jacket.

She’s basically a walking billboard for Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger here. And I’m really on board with that because I want that blazer in my closet yesterday. Also, she does what they should have done seven seasons ago if they wanted to spare themselves the trouble (but ruin our seven seasons of fun). She destroys the damn phone.

Well played, Spence. That’s one way to turn it off.

Aria meanwhile is having second thoughts about all of this and gives AD a piece of her mind in an adorable bird print blouse (once again with strong blouse game) and a jacket that I’m really lukewarm about.

My initial notes are that it’s ugly, but I’m warming up to it. I think my problem is that it’s all wrong for this outfit. Maybe with a tee or a sweater? We’ll never know because AD gave Aria has one of those phones you’re not allowed to bring on planes.

With bonus dead body in the trunk and cops on her tail. I  guess AD changed their mind about letting her have that reward of unlimited freedom. Probably shouldn’t have turned on her friends — because who is she going to call for help? 

 

Ok friends, we’ve got two more episodes to go. And here’s what I’m thinking:

  1. With all the characters coming back from past seasons, where the hell is Melissa Hastings? Is she still alive? 
  2. Is Spencer’s purse a clue? Are the straight hair episodes clues? Or am I starting to look too hard for clues? But really – when she’s in normal Spencer mode, she’s been carrying a pale gray satchel-like purse that I’m loving. Femme Fatale Spencer had no purse and Airport Spencer had something in black. And when we see her with straight hair, she does weird things like shrug about cops and visits Wren at the airport.
  3.  How the hell does AD move that game around so stealthily? It’s one thing for AD to sneak in and out, but it is quite another to do it with a giant board game that features a full diorama and has booby traps inside. I’m not buying it. 
  4. I’m like 99% certain that whoever AD is, it’s a lady. Because a dude would be just way too creepy at this point.
  5. Does Spencer have a running tally of all the random things Hanna says? Because I really enjoyed when she replied, “That’s my favorite thing you’ve ever said,” to Hanna’s “Time is stupid.”