Aria and Emily start stalking Sydney who seems to be getting out of the game, although, let’s be honest, she’s probably not. Spencer has a date with Detective Whatshisface as a red herring in her love life (because no one will ever have a truly healthy, adult relationship in Rosewood). It’s Hanna’s turn to play Rosewood Jumanji and her intellectual property problems come back to haunt her right before a big meeting with Lucas and his investors.

Even though it’s not her week to play the game, Spencer shushes us.

I guess everyone gets to take a turn before the final episode when we find out Aria has been A all along. Spencer shushing works out nicely because she had the closest thing to the best outfits this week. For starters, these airplane jammies are amazing.

So much better than Hanna’s day spa wear. And also perfect for being kept up all night by the sounds of a crying baby, even if it is an unexplained AD joke. I’m still not sure how AD manages this phone – even after she shuts it off, AD is able to turn it back on. Phones can’t do that. Can they? Oh shit, they can. BRB, throwing all of my electronics in the dishwasher.

Spencer is out of her sling this week (thank god, it was making it hard to get a decent screenshot of her outfit) and she’s basically got the most fantastic outfit going on. Solid blouse game paired with a soft, gray, long blazer and jeans. This outfit is the thing my dreams are made of right now.

However, Spencer breaks my heart just a little.

This is not the first time Spencer has ruined a perfectly good outfit with these jeans and let me tell you, it doesn’t get any easier. Spencer, just pick ONE style of denim instead of mixing them all into one nightmare pair of pants. Otherwise, I think we all need to lobby some kind of official to ban flared, cropped AND frayed jeans. Aria isn’t much better. 

What is even happening with the legs of these jeans? These jeans aren’t my only problem with her look. Aria, who has been hitting it out of the park so far this season, has a swing and miss this week. I mean, sure, I’m here for another leather jacket (this loft totally has a magical closet that only the likes of Sutton Mercer have seen). And it’s Aria, so of course she has one with leopard print sleeves. That’s a given. But the red bodysuit with a plunging neckline is where she loses me.

Very, very Khloé Kardashian.

Here for these statement earrings though.

To quote The Wire, I think the statement these earrings are making is: “sheeeeiiit.” But seriously, the lime green tassels and beading kill me.

It appears to be The Night of the Bodysuits in Rosewood this week because Hanna is going for a similar look and feel for her casual wear in a dark teal and a lace-up neckline.

I’m also 100 percent against that bodysuit (I’m actually 100 percent opposed to all bodysuits. Or, at least, any I’ve ever seen). I wonder if they found it weird that they were both in bodysuits? I’m also not into the satin camo bomber jacket. The creepy-ass mannequin that AD dropped off at her door had better outerwear.

I feel like Hanna is with me on this and is wondering how weird would it be if she traded with a creepypasta mannequin.

Honestly, I’m not feeling Hanna’s style this season. Am I alone on this? I guess it’s meant to be edgy or something, but I’m just finding it dull and not fitting her as well as it could. (Oh sure, it technically fits. But there are other styles that look way better on Hanna).

I wonder if she saved the jacket before performing gross surgery with kitchen utensils on the mannequin.

The surgery was all in the name of a dress that’s ill-fitting and just a little culturally inappropriate to wear to a meeting with Japanese investors. And a little short for an investor meeting. As Caleb described it, “show off your spicy tuna roll short.”

I don’t feel like it’s that much shorter than other skirts we’ve seen in Rosewood. And it’s definitely in the same league as some of Serena’s show-off-your-macarons short skirts. At least she has a great trench to cover up with.

Hanna’s not sure if the dress or the bad press is what will send the investors away faster.

Seriously, this would have been avoided if they had just explained that Jenna was wearing the same dress to go pick up her dry cleaning. Fortunately for Hanna (less fortunate for Caleb), she can’t make it because the Rosewood Jumanji is full of poison gas.

Have they learned nothing about A/AD over the years? Don’t mess with her/his toys. I guess this can also be said for Hanna not completing her turn in the game and losing out on getting her puzzle piece.

And because I’m sure you’ve all been dying to know what yet another minor character has been up to: Sydney is back in Rosewood as a banker after having attended Berkeley and traveled abroad. And her banker attire is fantastic. I love the bow detail on the sheath dress — girly, but still grown up and professional. 

One of these days, I want one of these former minor character to be all, “Bitches. That was high school. I have legit moved on from our former grudge match.” And honestly, Sydney is actually the closest thing we have to a grown up who’s put high school behind her. Maybe it’s all an act, but I really want Emily and Aria’s surveillance of her to only turn up stops at Whole Foods, hot yoga, work, and home.

Speaking of Emily: Hallelujah! Let the choirs sing! Emily actually got a week to wear something other than sweats.

It’s classic Emily and therefore not at all exciting. But considering everything she’s worn so far this season has the word “SHARKS” on it, this is a real departure. Honestly, it’s simple and it works. Maroon denim, great boots, black denim jacket, and a large bag. Well done Emily. Neither praise nor censure for your look….except….

Those weren’t great boots after all! When I went back for screenshots I realized they were SLINGBACK BOOTIES! How are these even a thing in the world? Go back to your sneakers and sweatshirts, lady. This is too much.

So, guess who’s out of her plot medically-induced coma? Yvonne!

Did you care? Probably not! That’s okay, Toby and his neverending collection of henleys did so he decided they should get married on the spot.

Awwww. Someone even got her someone got her a beaded cardigan and bejeweled headband so she could have some minor style points beyond hospital gown. Really thoughtful. She also had perfect makeup and a mani. Which is pretty amazing. Do we think Toby arranged it? Because she doesn’t seem to have any other family or friends. 

Doesn’t really matter since Yvonne makes like a Lurlene McDaniel or Nicholas Sparks novel and dies just as she starts to plan for her future with Toby. (Let’s face it, even Jenna saw could have seen that twist coming).

That’s what you get for being happy and irrelevant, Yvonne! You have served your purpose as an obstacle to Toby and Spencer and now you must shuffle off. At least your death was semi-dignified and not caused by an anonymous omnipotent psycho or gang of bullied teen girls/twentysomethings. We can now move into full Nicholas Sparks territory as we reunite two former teen lovers. 

Are we all thinking this series ends with everyone neatly coupled up in their high school relationships? Including Ezra forgiving Aria for being A? But first, those two need to move past Nicole lurking in the dark like a lurking lurker.

I mean, seriously lady, turn a light on. Say hello before she grabs the kitchen knife. Text to say you’ll be staying with the fiancé you both share.

Anything would be better than lurking in the dark in your workout clothes until Aria and her knife turns on the lights.

Any guesses on what the hell Nicole is doing in Rosewood? And how many episodes until she dead or sent packing into a plot hole? And just who owns the stubby finger that was sent to the police???