Given that this show ends literally every episode with at least one huge plot twist, you know the season finale’s going to get bonkers. But the biggest trick it pulled was basically NOT having any plot twists until the last two minutes. This meant that Jane and Michael’s wedding was sweet and mostly non-eventful but the viewing audience’s expectations kept up the dramatic tension because WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MICHAEL??? Because you know something’s going to happen. The events of the episode are best divided into three parts: the day before, the day of, and the day after.

 

The Day Before

It’s T-minus 24 hours to Jane’s big wedding and for some reason there are still enough details to stress over that Rogelio’s corralled Xo and Alba into a makeshift war room to make plans. But never fear, he’s got a Bluetooth headset, the party planning skills of Lauren Conrad, and coordinated outfits with Mateo. We’re in good hands.

I know this show is all about the pastel Miami colors but after awhile my eyes start to beg for something more pigmented. Enter Xo in this bright floral print, coordinated just so with the nearby hotel flowers. Alba’s holding her own in a drapey white top (with a lower necklace than her usz: you go, Alba) and a Mary Kay hued Abuela Of The Bride blazer in Mary Kay pink.

Super props for the Wonder Woman bracelet game here, too.

Sidenote: Mateo and Rogelio are twinning it all the way to their khakis. Love.

 

Yes, it’s a wedding but it’s also Jane Villanueva’s wedding, which means beyond-last-minute grad school issues. Luckily, her bride-to-be style is equally appropes for a quick visit on campus. the filmy white sundress was practically negligee-adjacent in her sexxxy times with Michael, but throw on a cardi and she’s good to go as a respectable student.

 

Meanwhile in the land of Crazy Women and their Cray Twins, Petra’s desperation for famlial connection has her disregarding the clear red flags literally on display all around Anezka 24/7.

“I may not go to the wedding.” 

“BUT YOU MUST GO TO THE WEDDING. No reason. You know. Just cause.”

 

The Day Of

Jane being Jane, and Michael being his super-supportive self, she heads for a pre-wedding thesis defence that leaves her putting on her gown in the campus ladies room. But isn’t it worth it to get our first glimpse of her like this? Jane the Virgin‘s always made sure to stay true to Jane’s down to earth roots, and this is no exception. Is it weird to think she looks almost better in this locale than in the church later?

Speaking of keeping it real, the usual series of plot contrivances leads Jane back to the bus for yet another important life event. As a fellow transit user, I’m always happy to see this set back in rotation AND again, the contrast of Jane and Rogelio’s fancy dress with the day to day life of their fellow passengers makes for a great tableau.

But she makes her (slightly belated) appearance, and is led down the aisle by two women who couldn’t physically be beaming any huger with pride. I’m definitely a fan of her wedding dress – the off-the-shoulder/t-shirt-length-sleeve ties it into her preferred style of sundress, with a princess skirt reflecting her romantic nature.

Xo, again, is serving up actual pigment for which I am again super grateful. This particular shade of salmon isn’t my jam, but the halter neck shows off her amazingly fit shoulders and arms, and the jeweled neckline keeps it true to her personality. Alba’s in pale pink again, lather rinse repeat. She looks lovely but wouldn’t she look even better in say, an emerald green?

D’awwwww look at these two. Michael just grinned like a loon throughout the entire ceremony, while Jane wept beautifully. I know I’m not the only one watching the entire wedding plotline poised for tragedy, because, right? You know what show this is. 

But in a happy turn of events, Jane and Michael fully tied the knot! She’s officially off the market you guys!

The reception was pretty much everything. From Rogelio and Jane’s hip hop father/daughter dance…

… To Special Guest Star Bruno Mars serenading the crowd with a new song (while wearing a Winston Bishop shirt)…

… To Luisa and Susanna (LuiSanna?) getting hot and heavy…

… To Xo and Ro sharing a tender dance after yet again agreeing that despite their great love, they can’t be together.

 

Plot-Twist-a-Palooza

So while the show was kind enough to give Jane and Michael a lovely wedding day, the clock struck midnight and everything went back to season ending cliffhanger dramaaaaatics.

Petra was a beaming guest at Jane and Michael’s wedding…

… Also, back into fitted-waist garments now that the twins are a few months old (and she’s surely paying a personal trainer several thou a month). Anezka, who you may recall was all about sending Petra out of the way for the wedding, is like, “Oh hey sestra, let  me just INJECT YOU WITH THIS  MYSTERIOUS DRUG.”

Leading to Anezka’s body being found, collapsed in the nursery. A nurse breaks the news to “Petra” that her sister is now basically aware and thinking, but can only move her eyes. And “Petra,” with a shakier-than-usual accent, is like, “Oh what bad news.”

Plot twist!! Anezka dyed knocked-out Petra’s hair brown (and her own hair blond) and the person laying there apparently comatose-but-awake, is Petra herself!! As the show so astutely put it, girlfriend is going into summer hiatus #PetraFied

And THEN, Michael suddenly realized that his steadfast partner, Susanna, is lying about who she really is. He’s a half-second away from exposing her when she whips out her sidearm and FULLY SHOOTS HIM. What the what?

But not ONLY was Susanna secretly working for Mutter all along, but she was pulling a Mission Impossible face swap and this whole time was none other than ROSE!!!!!

Luisa’s face here says it all. I appreciate the added detail that Susanna wouldn’t consummate their relationship, as though kissing and talking and hand-holding could all be faked but so way was Luisa going to be fooled about her identity when faced with Sin Rosetro in flagrate.

And THEN as if we needed any more reason to tune in again in the fall, Xo’s episode long vague health complications are because she’s TOTES PREGZ. But if you’ll recall her recent sexual history, the father is none other than Rogelio’s nemesis, Esteban.

Holy hiatus, you guys. There are about seventeen plotlines I’m gagging to see how they turn out… but I guess we’ll just have to wait for the next chapter in the fall.