GUYS, H̶i̶g̶h̶ ̶H̶o̶l̶y̶ ̶D̶a̶y̶s̶ Awards Season is upon us! We open this time of celebration with a look at last night’s Golden Globes fashions, conveniently broken up into five categories. Who killed it? Who should kill their stylist? (Disclaimer: We at YKYLF do not condone violence, even in crimes of fashion.)
Just the Basics, Please
Gaga was total Hollywood classic glam, and we did not hate Jane Fonda’s dress.
Bella: Amy Schumer really needed to get her dress tailored, and by tailored, I mean fifteen yards hacked off. Emilia Clarke’s cape, however, is both on trend and makes her look like a sexy Macbeth witch. A definite winner.
Carla: She slays in black, and looks badass even without gold locks and three dragons at her side.
L-A: Jane Fonda looks like a glorious cupcake. I think she’s the one of the few women to be able to wear a that ruffle action and not look like a kid dressing up as a cupcake. It’s why she’s a glorious cupcake.
Ritchie: Jane and Taraji are my spirit animals. Taraji called out the BS move to “please wrap up” THREE SECONDS INTO HER SPEECH. Jane didn’t have to say anything at all, but give that withering look of disapproval.
Lauren: Well, Alicia Vikander’s dress was my favorite of the night. It’s like a sexy, formal apron. If I could find a way to wear a bra with it, I’d wear it around the house.
And Now For Some Color
JLaw and Jada both ruled in crayola hues. The rest of the box was a mixed bag (too many metaphors?)
Ann: I like how Calista Flockhart has aged into a lovable goof, a la Meryl Streep. Somehow I love her in this peasant dress turned dress. Lovveee Gina Rodriguez but we’ve seen this dress so many times on so many people, and she hasn’t done anything new with it. Still: pockets!
Bella: God bless pockets. Every gown should have them.
Ann: And Michelle Williams remains the only person to truly make canary yellow work on the red carpet. Sorry J-Lo, America, and Mozart in the Jungle lady.
Bella: America looks slightly like she’s choking — maybe messier hair would’ve made her look less like an award show Stormtrooper? More importantly, why aren’t we talking about J-Lo’s Angelina Jolie leg?
Lauren: And her perfectly arranged train! It’s like they took her out of Madame Tussaud’s to pose for the cameras.
Does that Dress Hurt When You Sit Down?
So many sequins. So scratchy, so pointy. Unanimous golf claps for Viola Davis’s Valentino “starry sky” dress.
Bella: I’m bored of Kate Hudson’s abs. They guest stared in Glee long enough. WE GET IT, KATE. YOU’RE RIPPED.
Ritchie: Her dress is a bit dated. It’s very Xtina and Britney at the VMAs, hosted by Carson Daly, no?
Lauren: Yes! I couldn’t put my finger on it, but now all I can think of is “Genie in a Bottle.”
Constance: I am living for Taylor Schilling’s tux — I love a good ladysuit on the red carpet, and hers is so sassy and sparkly. And look at Regina King working the hell out of her cape! Circle snaps for her.
L-A: I’m feeling Regina King. The shoes don’t really work, and the cape seems like an afterthought, but this is absolutely how you hit the red carpet when your dress has a cape. Melissa McCarthy, however, has the worst taste in fabrics. If only her dress was as on-point as her hair and makeup.
Oh Hey, Didn’t See You There in Those Pastels
Cate Blanchett had her haters, but we thought she was gorge in Givenchy.
Ann: Amber Heard’s gown is awfully dreamy. It would be easy for that look to sway towards Disney Princess, but the severity of the makeup makes it work. As does the simple hair.
Bella: Well Katy Perry’s hair has that Elvira Bump-It vibe going on. If her hair were one inch shorter, I might approve.
Ritchie: I think she’s giving up her solo act and auditioning for a 1960s girl group, Ronettes: The Revival.
Jen: Maybe Katy can give some of that volume to Rooney Mara?
Bella: Rooney needs some ballast for sure. The poor girl looks like she’s about to blow away!
I Hope Your Assistant Brought Extra Tape
Ladies, aren’t you cold? And nervous as all hell?
Ann: Zendaya is pulling off the multiple peplum look Reign’s Mary has been attempting unsuccessfully for three seasons.
Jen: Jaimie Alexander’s was one of my favorite dresses of the night. That said, my chest was cold in sympathy for her uncovered torso, and I was super edgy watching her present, for fear of a wardobe malfunction.
Ann: Snaps to Jane Froggatt for being practical. If you look closely, her dress has a mesh insert, leaving her free to hoist an award over her head sans incident.
Jen: See, this is why she’s a lady’s maid. She knows all the fashion tricks.