After last week’s hyper speed sprint through time, we’re officially caught up as the JtV team celebrates Black Friday roughly at the same time as the rest of the world. This being Jane the Virgin, the episode also includes a Czech take on Weekend at Bernie’s, incriminating secrets discovered via Nanny Cam, at least one humiliating pratfall and a hell of a lot of cute outfits. Remind me again why I don’t live somewhere it’s appropes to rock sundresses and short-shorts in November?   

 

First things first: the Villanueva women take Rafael along on one of their most important trips — Black Friday shopping at That Department Store They Like So Much! Everyone’s dressed for high stakes shopping, which for Xo means a micro-mini and embellished tank, Jane’s in her usz tank and shorts look, Abuela doesn’t care what you think about her velour sweat suit. And Rafael might be wearing… something not entirely skin tight?

 

Yes, it’s true! His shirt is very nearly his correct size! The fabric has hang! Time spent with the Villanueva ladies is definitely improving his clothing sense.

And I think you all know how we feel about Hot Dad Rafael. Whenever he’s in Mateo’s presence, I basically melt into a puddle of goo. Say what you will about him as a boyfriend/husband/partner, dude’s an A+ Dad.

 

Also in That Department Store They All Like So Much? Oh, just Michael “Haven’t seen him in literally six months” Cordero, in his standard blue.

The moment Jane saw him amid the faux-snow gave me a little Love, Actually flutter, not gonna lie. Of course, Michael brushes her off (we all know by now this is for some sort of Sin Rostro/Mutter reason, not that he’s not still all about her) and Jane decides to commit to scheduling a date with Raf.

 

Which means the whole family needs to hold Nanny auditions, just like Mindy did a few weeks back. For this occasion, Xo’s in something gloaty with mysterious cutouts, Jane’s in one of Winona Ryder’s Reality Bites castoffs, and Raf backslides into his stretchy pink comfort zone.

 

Seriously, Jane’s dress is not her best look. Practical, yes. Better than a tank and cutoffs? Perhaps. This looks like – dare I say it – something she picked up at That Department Store’s clearance section. 

Oh, wait, I just realized I missed another important plot point. In the inimitable manner of this show’s narrator: to the college!

 

So, Jane’s now been in her MFA program for six months and needs to pick her grad advisor. The candidates are Cookie’s piece from Empire vs. Professor “Not Related To Michael” Bolton, who she really wants to impress. Jane pulls herself out of the floral dress/tank-and-shorts purgatory with this knockout number:

And as the Professor is into horseback riding, she replaces her standard sandals with these killer equestrian boots:

Loves it. Yes. I’d sign up as her advisor and I’m not even into horses.

 

Sidenote: the black-on-black stripey pattern is oddly similar to the white-on-white stripes of Petra’s swingy trapeze dress:

I know this show is always clever about their costuming, but this is one of two very smart storytelling choices they make in wardrobe this week. This matchy-matchiness hints at Jane and Petra’s burgeoning friendship…

 

While Jane and Mateo’s patterns are so similar it’s like camouflage, representing how afraid she is to leave him in anyone else’s care. Like, there’s Mindy/Leo sweet coordinating outfits, and then there’s this overwhelming inability to separate herself from her baby.

It’s not just me saying this, her Nanny flat-out quits when she realizes how anxious Jane is about leaving her baby behind.

 

Aaaanyway, so, Jane wears the black number to a cocktail party with her sights set on impressing the Professor Bolton, who BTW looks like this:

HELL YES. I haven’t seen a Grecian drape this flawless since Emily Thorne in Revenge season one. But this show being this show, Jane accidentally throws a platter of deviled eggs and then grabs her boob so: not the best first impression.

 

Speaking of Revenge, Luisa is really turning into this show’s Ashley: always wearing surely amazing outfits, always hidden behind tables and set dressing. Like, I’d kill for an H-to-T of this boho number.

Weak tea, show. (See what I did there?)

 

Now, I’ve had a weakness for blondes in nautical stripes since Blake Lively pouted her way into the Gossip Girl pilot, and Petra does not disappoint this week. 

 

How does this show take place on the ocean and there are so few instances of nautical stripes??

 

This lewk goes from daytime corpse hiding to nighttime corpse burying! Oh, Petra. Won’t your storyline ever be less than entirely depressing? Girl needs a hug and a friend who is not her sociopath mother. Too bad she had to throw Jane under the bus for corpse-related reasons. 

 

We get our final secret message via wardrobe when Jane and Raf finally head out for their big date. We’ve got Jane in a killer salmon pink dress with a bold floral print:

 

Which just so happens to coordinate with what their Nanny (who looks mean here, but is actually totally great; she may just have a resting bitchface issue):

 

Jane’s all carefree in her swingy dress on her date with her babydaddy and things seem pretty good, right?

 … Until she checks the secret Nanny cam and catches Raf paying off a guy to sell out Michael to the police. Basically, exactly what Michael accused Raf of doing six months ago, which Raf denied. Which is worse: doing something shitty, or standing by while someone does something shitty and then spending six months not mentioning that the shitty thing you were accused of, you basically did?

 

Yeah, this is why I’m currently #TeamJaneTheSpinsterForever. Though it wouldn’t take much for me to swap to #TeamHotForTeacher. The fact that he’s moonlighting as Cookie’s piece on Empire AND he was a supporting cast member on Magic Mike? Um, no brainer.

If nothing else, Jane saw the light and chose this fella and his tough love as her advisor, so Hot Prof and his sweet dimples will be around for at least a few more episodes.