This week on THE GOLDEN GLOBES REVENGE(!!!): Emily convinces David not to kill Queen V, but rather to head out of town with her. But first! She agrees to help Nolan take down the clearly skeevy brother of his newest hag, Louise. Turns out Cray Louise is only cray because her family’s been drugging her to gain access to her money, so suddenly we have a slightly-less-deranged recurring character. Margaux is charging around like an avenging French angel, screaming at anyone who’ll listen that Emily totally murdered Daniel. But when her high blood pressure makes her pass out, Queen V decides to come clean to get Margaux to trust her. And just when we all thought the Malcolm Black stuff was yet more blah blah, suddenly he shoots Emily and Queen V with TRANQUILIZER DARTS so, well played, show.

 

Emily’s Target
As a last hurrah, she does Nolan a solid by giving the old Red Sharpie treatment to Louise’s crappy brother. Aw, just like old times!

Gala/Caper of the Week
The closest we got to a gala this week was the double-date with Louise and her brother. As per Hamptons tradition, this ended with a psychotic breakdown and Nolan getting slapped. Does anyone ever stay for a whole meal in any of the restaurants on this show?

Best Dressed
While both Louise and Margaux pulled out some sweet ensembles, nobody could top Nolan’s ascot and patterned suit ensemble for the big Double Date From Hell sequence.

Most Soapy Moment:
I’m going to go with the reveal that Louise’s delusions have been because her family’s secretly been drugging her with malaria medication (!) so that her mother could use her inheritance to fund her brother’s run for Senate (!!).

 

Come back on Wednesday to see what Lauren makes of this week’s twists and turns.