What Jess Wore to Hop Across the Pond

Delays. Excessive drinking. Crying. Missing presents. This can only mean one thing (other than my birthday)…it’s Christmas! The gang’s temporarily stranded at LAX when a let’s-ruin-everything snowstorm delays all of their flights. But not to worry – there’s lots to drink do at an airport. Like crash a first class lounge. Or instill horror in your fellow passengers. Or find out that your new boyfriend is probably a lord masquerading as a lowly peasant commoner. Or learn that Coach’s name is Ernie (or am I totally late to that party?) and he has the cutest flipping niece in the entire freaking world — squee! Hi, welcome to my cute aggression.


Who needs mistletoe when you have a prop closet? In the middle of a secret make out session, Ryan invites Jess to spend Christmas with him in London. Ugh. Talk about being at the top of Santa’s nice list. Of course, Jess graciously accepts (because who says no to London?) in this lovely red scoop neck, cap sleeve fit and flare dress with what i’m betting is a pleated skirt. Because it’s Jessica Day and if she’s not going to accessorize an otherwise plain dress, you’d better believe there are pleats.


As a first time meeting the family after a twelve hour flight outfit, this is solid. Jess’s Equipment sweater looks comfy enough to withstand an in-flight movie marathon, and the classic red plaid is thankfully more RL than 3M. Paired with the dark wash jeans and a great set of Enzo Angiolini boots, she is picture perfect.


Which is good, since Pervy Santa stole all of her presents for Ryan’s family. Who’s super rich. And lives in Downton Abbey. Cue the freak out and enter the wine spritzers and Barry, a lovable disgruntled airport employee. Because what every damsel in distress really needs is a gay BFF who understands and accepts your unhealthy attachment to pizza.

Meanwhile, thinking that she’s not going to make it to London due to the bad storm (read: monstrous meltdown), Sir Ryan solidifies his place in all of our hearts when he hops a plane straight back to LA. Sigh. Love actually is all around us.

Ryan also solidified his place at the top of my best dressed list. Varied colors, subtle use of patterns, great fit — what a nice little package to have under your Christmas tree. Or doorstep. Whatever.


At a completely different door, Schmidt tries to leave behind his Long Island origins and enter the hallowed ground of a first class lounge via some harebrained story. Typical, just like his sweater and button-up combo. Good grief, I hope someone gets him new clothes for Hanukkah. But Cece makes his dreams come true with two magical words: guest pass. 

Unfortunately, not everything is merry and bright in his cherished first class lounge. Apparently, they’ve stepped back into 1993’s Indecent Proposal as some rich, dirty old bitch (his words, not mine) makes Schmidt an offer: Cece and her gorgeous mandarin-collared jumpsuit in exchange for a free pass into any non-New Zealand first class lounge. But, if there’s anything Schmidt values more than fancy pillows and Daniel Craig’s tailor, it’s Cece. So no dice, you dirty old bitch. You can take Schmidt out of Long Island, but I guess you can’t take the Long Island out of Schmidt. 


In the spirit of goodwill towards all, Nick brings Winston home to Chicago for the holidays and makes it his mission to find a lady friend for the soon-to-be Officer Bishop. Oh, and this is a yearly tradition. I would say he’s doing his part to dress like a Chicagoan with the warm plaid, but let’s face it. I’m just glad it’s green. 

Apparently not ready to give up his hobby for strange prints and colors, Winston covers up his ikat patterned shirt with a brightly hued coral cardigan. I will say, though, that this is an awesome cardigan. It looks warm, cozy, and has a really neat collar. Plus, the pocket and cuff stripes dress it up a bit. Excellent work, Winston!


I absolutely loved Coach’s Four Christmases-y storyline. Or should I say Ernie? Be honest, did I completely miss that train? In any case, I’m sure it comes as no surprise that Coach is a huge softie who cancels his tropical holiday plans to spend time with his cutie pie niece in Detroit.  

I know I’ve ragged on Winston’s belligerently loud shirts, but at least Coach intended to wear this in a legit tropical place. Not a loft in Los Angeles. 


Coach isn’t the only teddy bear in the group, because when Nick found out that Jess chickened out of London, they all rallied to basically threaten her: if she didn’t get on her flight, none of them would. Aww, shucks. Friendship! So, she went off to jolly old England and they went off to their own holiday adventures. Coach with Roro in Detroit, Schmidt in Long Island probably bitching it up, Cece in Manhattan stalking Matt Lauer, Nick swilling it in his favorite hometown bar, and Winston getting a lovely dose of that midwest hospitality.

Here’s hoping that your holiday is filled with just as much fun, friendship, and laughter as theirs. Cheers!