What Jess Wore When She Threw Her First Punch

There’s not much that’ll make a girl throw a punch, but a cute purse? Bring it. Which is exactly what Jess and Cece do this week when they get in a girl fight twenties years in the making. Obviously, Coach and Schmidt do the only thing boys do in this situation: Watch. While they’re busy egging on the girls, Winston tries really hard to study for his looming Police exam, and Nick’s busy getting busy with Tran’s super cute granddaughter Kai, who may or may not be homeless. 


This is the most disastrous kind of situation. Two best friends, and only one fantastic purse. Who gets the loot? Let’s face it Cece, we all know Jess is more of the cute purse type.

Though really, you both should be shopping in the clothing section. I suspect Jess’s top came from Forever 85, and Cece looks like she’s going to work out. We can do better, ladies. We can do better.


After deciding that neither of them should get the purse, Jess broke the girl code, and went back and bought the purse. BAD FRIEND, JESSICA DAY.


So, all that was several years ago. Flash forward to today, when Jess gets caught with the purse. She tries to make it up to Cece with a latte and a monochrome outfit. Just think what a cheery pop of color that yellow purse would have provided to this otherwise B&W situation.

Speaking of the yellow purse…where is it? It seems to be missing from Jessica’s closet…


Oh no she dinnit!!! Oh but she diiiiid. And Cece, you did it looking so fab!! Love this blousy tank tucked into loose pants. Great. It actually looks a lot like the outfit Jess wore in the mall, but more age appropriate and chic.


While Jess and Cece were busy being passive agressive, Nick was spending time with Tran’s granddaughter, Kai. Thanks be to God he didn’t wear the short-sleeve turtleneck his mom bought him. I didn’t even know they made such a thing for men. Thankfully, Kai has really pretty hair for us to look at. And thankfully for Nick, she’s not homeless (as Winston suspect) but rather, totes loaded.


Unfortanately, the new couple missed the most epic girl fight of all time. And it all started with Cece flinging her body through the air, in this amazingly awesome floral print jumpsuit. I mean yeah, normally you’d see this pattern on a Laura Ashley beadspread, or grandma’s curtains, but I’m still head over heels [see what I did there] for this jumpsuit. Cece


Yeah, girl got mad ups yo.


Oh! See the skinny bitch in black next to the crib? Welcome back to the show, Nadia.

So yes, weird things do go down at baby showers, especially if you have 20 years worth of shit to hash out, and apparently, especially if it’s a Russian baby shower.


Which is most likely why Winston decided to stay home and study for his Police Exam. Atta boy, Winst.