Part 2 of 2: Rhythm & Boos

Inevitably, when I get up on my high horse, I end up being knocked down. Such is the case with my wish for Rachel to wear deeper, richer tones (which apparently translates to black over black).

She really should find a good waxer if shaving’s going to leave that much of a mess on her clothing…oh, the red splotches are supposed to be part of the pattern? My mistake (and possible the designer’s too).

 

Your legs, Rachel, not your face!

That said, Big Momma always said duct tape was good for the skin, and monochrome bunnies are good for the soul, so the tape is only a minor blemish on an otherwise neat outfit.

 

Oh, hey Puck. Why are you doing linksy armsies with Rachel? Stay tuned to find out, readers.

 

Kurt has to audition for the Dalton Academy Warblers (clearly, they don’t know talent/diva when they see it), so he naturally performs Don’t Cry for Me Argentina in perfect harmony with Rachel, because what is this show if not an opportunity for gratuitous duets?

What a pretty dress, though. The lovely plum colour and the sash save it from being too mature for the First Lady of Glee (although Michelle Obama could also rock this look).

 

My sources tell me brown is the new black this season. I have to agree, if only because it warms the lips and cheeks of its wearer, and because black is blah. As is white.

Also, beige.

 

Speaking of blah, this is what happens when you let a barista make the outfits for Sectionals: latte ombre dresses with (wait for it) jazz pants! Why? For the love of gosh, why? Also, what is with the bizarre red yarn tied over the sash? Were Quinn and her gal pals involved in some eighties era handfasting ritual with the sexy pagans from Reign?

Santana’s Valerie may be smokin’, but don’t drink (a double tall frappé) and dress.

 

Speaking of smokiness, Rachel’s make out sesh with Puck is hot to trot, as kissing Mark Salling always is (does that make it sound like I have insider knowledge? Totally don’t, wish I did).

 

The unfortunate result of said lip-locking is Finn breaking up with Rachel while she’s got her best look of the episode going on. Seriously. I go on and on about how Lea is a grown woman, and lady parts, and not sexualising children’s clothing, and then they make her cry when she has pinstripes and killer cleavage.

Mixed. Messages.

 

Anyone else get the feeling Glee is losing the plot – and by the plot, I mean its own? Where’s a novelty episode and a slushie to the face when you need one? Stop trying to make me feel sorry for your beautiful misfit twenty somethings, show, and give me something to dance to.