This week on DAVID CLARKE’S BACK IN TOWN: David’s return from the dead continues to revitalize basically every character on this show. Emily’s got very convoluted plans to meet him instead of just, you know, going to reveal her own return from the dead. Jack and Nolan support her with this weird choice, while Drunk Charlotte toys with everyone’s emotions by forcing a David/Jack/Carl reunion. Daniel slimes his way from Crazy Southern Redhead back to Margaux, and this is obviously not going to end well. The hour ends with Beardy Clarke back in the beach house, brooding over the railing in crisp separates just like his daughter. You know he’s Emily’s Dad because it took him like two seconds to figure out that something’s not quite right with the whole FauxManda scenario, when everyone else took three years to figure out that no-brainer.

 

 

Emily/Victoria/Everyone’s Target
Emily’s focused on scheming her way back into her father’s arms. Victoria’s scheming to keep her claws in David. Charlotte’s scheming to get another box of wine. Crazy Southern Redhead is punching elevators and scheming… something. Lots of scheming this week, basically.

Gala of the Week
Again no parties!! If this keeps up, we’ll have to remove this heading from our mini-recaps which is TRAGIC because they used to throw down at least one gala per week. Get it together, show.

Best Dressed
Yet another week of barely any outfit changes, which yet again hands this prize to Margaux by default. How many geometric print shift dresses does she have, seriously? And how is each one more fab than the last? Plus, 10 points for how cute her bob looked this week.

Most Soapy Moment:
While Emily and Victoria’s faceoff was another classic moment, the show reached its over-the-top peak with Redhead’s elevator breakdown. Pretty sure she’s ready to go Gone Girl on Daniel by next week. Begging the question: who is she and what’s the point of this plotline??

 

Come back Wednesday for Constance‘s take on this week’s manipulations and linen separates.