First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Mary with the baby carriage SO MUCH SADNESS. As per usz, this show had about seventeen plotlines this week. On one part of the show, Bash and Condé are on the trail of Darkness 2.0. Meanwhile, Greer seems to have made a choice between Leith and Castleroy, prompting us to all ask: didn’t she already pick Castleroy last season? Lola’s got her first non-baby plotline in ages, and digs in deep to save an unwilling bride from possible murder. Cathy’s busy, first commissioning butter sculptures (yes, really), then cockblocking her son, then having her first ghost hallucination. And in the emotional core of the show, Mary and Francis open the episode celebrating her pregnancy and end it with a teary reminder of their abiding love.
Bonus WTF: Outfit repeating
I guess it was destined to happen eventually, but the pieces on this show are so memorable it’s particularly easy to spot repeated outfits. For instance, surely we aren’t the only ones to notice that Lola wore this pale pink feathered tutu before, in Chosen:
And we were asking “what in the quadruple peplum hell??” months ago when Mary first brought this skirt out to play in No Exit.
Though to be fair, at the time we thought there were only three peplums. BUT THERE ARE FOUR. BECAUSE SHE’S THE QUEEN, THAT’S WHY.
WTF #5: Condé is everywhere
… and with everyone. How is he friends with everyone on this show? First up, he and Bash threw on their best Sam and Dean disguises for an episode of Supernatural: Renaissance Times.
Something about hunters in the woods who marked a shepherd, who then got possessed and killed his family with shears? I got distracted by all of the handsomeness.
He also got to hang out with Francis, but I’m not sure what they spoke about because of these very well tailored leather leggings. Plus, we haven’t seen this much exposed chest hair since the days of Dead King Henry.
RIP, my loins.
At the pre-baptism ball (?) Mary got him to dance with Greer, as though girlfriend needs another suitor to juggle.
And then when Mary had her miscarriage, who tended to her? Her loving husband? One of her loyal ladies in waiting? No, Conde Nast, who is apparently also a skilled psychiatrist/midwife.
Not sure if this means that he’s a spy who’s managed to win over everyone and now he’s dangerous? Or if it just means the show doesn’t have enough characters, so he has to play wingman to everyone because the only other option is Narcisse, who’s evil.
WTF #4: Lola-nica Mars
Speaking of lack of secondary characters, of course Narcy decides to marry that peasant girl who helped Lola have her baby and then her family died of plague. I mean, Yvette’s dead so Estelle’s the only remaining woman in all of France, I guess?
I like her braid action here. It’s sort of reminscent of Aylee (RIP).
Anyway, it turns out Narcy is basically Bluebeard/Henry VIII and everyone he marries winds up dead. So Estelle turns to the most powerful woman she knows – Lola, who’s sort-of the King’s mistress. It’s been so long since Lola got to do anything besides hold a baby and look around aimlessly, she’s quick to take on the case.
Doesn’t hurt that her hair was impeccable this week, as was her array of stately gowns. Note to show: keep the baby away from her as much as possible. She’s so much better flying solo.
When Mary won’t help out (b/c of belated rage due to Lola being Francis’s babymama), Lola takes matters into her own hands. Unfortch Estelle’s not quite up to snuff as a co-conspirator, as she winds up accidentally stabbing her guard to death.
Amy Dunne, she’s not.
A last-minute reconciliation with Mary helps arrange for Estelle’s escape. But then for possibly Satan In The Woods reasons, or maybe Line Between Life And Death Being Blurred b/c of Plague reasons, Estelle throws herself off a cliff.
So, Narcy’s without a wife yet again. Hoping his corpse-side heart-to-heart with Lola doesn’t mean she’s lined up to be his next wife. But at least this scene gives us a better look at what turn out to be uncharacteristically cheap-looking sequins on her baptism dress:
Like, are those butterfly sequins? Did they pick up these embellishments at Claire’s?
Whatever, I’m mainly just glad Lola’s back on the scene. Thank goodness for (non-possessed) nannies.
WTF #3: Greer’s Striptease
Greer had a number of fantastic outfits this week, starting with this green floral number, perf for a picnic with the girls.
And what in the Stevie Nicks Hell is Kenna wearing right now?? Sadly, the Poorest Lady In France didn’t have much to do this week so we don’t spend much time with her.
Greer’s next outfit sticks to her signature 1930s silhouette, with sort of drapey velvet sleeves that her innate fabulosity help to look chic, not dowdy.
Meanwhile, Kenna’s mixing a broomstick skirt with a Pilgrim-esque bolero. I have to hope they’re saving Kenna’s better outfits for an episode where she has more to do.
Greer’s top wardrobe moment arrived later, though. So, after sharing a sexy dance with Leith, she runs off to declare her intentions to marry Pepperpot. Weirdly, an almost identical plot point happened on this week’s How to Get Away With Murder, but whatever. Girlfriend arrives looking like this:
Take a good look here. We’ve got an embellished belt, a dress that doesn’t have the appearance of front closure, and long, Bedazzled sleeves.
One vague hand movement later, and she’s in this La Perla-adjacent number, totally DTF.
Like, it’s not even that Renaissance ladies wore about 10x more complicated undergarments than this (we discussed that last year at this time) but even in the 21st century — how’d she do that??
Of course, Pepperpot’s too dazzled by her bare shoulders to wonder about her magical disappearing dress and belt. So they hurry up and commit to recreating that one shot from the opening credits:
But I still don’t see this all ending in Greer becoming Mrs. Peppers. Not just because these two have zero chemistry, but also because the show just moved Leith to court, and and the show’s target demo are teenage girls. Not to mention that Greith is such a fun couple name.
WTF #2: Ghost girls
It wasn’t until this week that I realized Cathy’s been pretty much living a separate life to all the supernatural stuff. But not anymore!
That face says it all. “Are you fucking kidding me with this? I’ve got butter sculptures to commission, people to poison, coitus to interruptus.”
Whether she likes it or not, she’s got two new friends, and they’re these two little ghosts:
No idea where this is going. But with Cathy involved, I bet this “line between living and dead blurring post-plague” action is going to get a lot more fun. Who knows? Maybe next week she’ll be mopping up blood with the ghost of Dead Pimp Daddy.
WTF #1: Menage a Cathy
Speaking of the Queen Mother, she brings one of the most delightful WTF moments in this show’s history with her celebration of Mary’s pregnancy.
“Can’t you let us have celebratory teen sex, Mother?”
“Don’t be silly, Francis. Now scoot over so I can sit in bed with you.”
Out of all the plotlines introduces this week, the only one that wrapped up was the one we all wanted to continue: Mary’s pregnancy. Adelaide Kane gave a fantastic, devastating, queenly performance this week so snaps, and a big ol’hug to her.
But in true Francis form, he lifted her spirits with this ode to her favourite movie.
No, I’m not crying. It’s just dusty in here. #FraryForever