This week on MONTAUK NINE-NINE: Soooo I’m pretty sure that “in a line-up of suspects in my home break-in and attempted murder” was not in the top 10 places Emily wanted to see her Not Dead Dad for the first time in 20 years, but you take what you get. David pulls a classic Clarke move, faking his own torture and then accidentally-on-purpose getting himself arrested. This leads to the aforementioned line-up, which leads to a lot of fake-shock from Queen V at her “dead” “lover’s” “return”. Emily, Nolan, and Jack (a.k.a. the only people on this show who actually love David) are kept at arms length, which leads David to take V’s side yet again. But does David know who Emily is? You never know what’s going on behind those shifty eyes. Here’s hoping Beardy Clarke’s playing a long con that winds up with a Double Infinity reunion special. 

Emily/Victoria/David(?)’s Target
Emily and Victoria are still in their blood feud, with the self-flagellating David Clarke caught in the crossfire. Or is he out to get someone too? What you up to, Beardy?

Gala of the Week
The biggest show in town was at the police station this week, as David throws down an Emily-calibre performance leaving chaos, tears, confusion, and one hell of an episode in his wake.

Best Dressed
This week was True Blood styles with everyone sporting the same looks all hour. Within those parameters, the only option is Margaux’s latest European shift — this time a chic red and white color block motif.

Most Soapy Moment:
Would anyone argue that the whole “seeing your presumed dead father whose death you’ve been avenging for four years for the first time in a police line-up of your possible attempted murderers” doesn’t deserve to take this trophy home?


Come back Wednesday to see what Anthony makes of this week’s twists and turns.