What Jess Wore for Sex Fist

After a rocky third season, New Girl returns with a sweet anti-romance premiere. (Go sex fist! Poor choice of words?) The gang makes a pact that no one will go home alone from the last of their summer weddings, and although they all fail to score, they reassure one another that they’re not going home along: they have each other. On the downside, Jess wore exactly one outfit this week. On the plus side, it was hella cute.


Jess’s romantic pink-and-green floral is perfect for a summer wedding.

The details are incredibly twee, for sure — the illusion netting on the bodice, the tulle ruffle at the hem — but this is Jess Day, reigning empress of twee, and she more or less pulls it off. Plus, Schmidt’s right, the parted bangs work for her.


And at least her dress is more interesting than the one worn by Jessica Biel’s character Kat, Jess’s rival for the attention of Wedding Celebrity Reid Scott.

Ooh, look, it’s a navy shift. What is this, a business casual office function? Will Kat be delivering a powerpoint presentation on workflow efficiency later in the evening? I do appreciate those leopard print pumps, though, almost as much I appreciate as the “I love your shoes” nice-off she has with Jess.


I have to opine that both of them are too good for Wedding Celebrity Reid Scott.

Reid Scott himself is very funny, and the man can work a skinny tie, but this character could be replaced by a cardboard cutout and there would be no appreciable change in the plot. (By the way, did everyone hear about the woman who married a cardboard cutout of RPatz? Glad to see she’s following her dreams.)


Cece’s outfit is also simple, but we allow this because she is Cece and we love her.

It’s bold, it’s tight, she looks gorgeous, what else is new? Oh, right! She got rid of her infant Australian boyfriend what’s-his-face! How long do we give it before she and Schmidt get back together? I’m thinking mid-season finale.


Schmidt, incidentally, is busy all episode trying to get Nick to have a fourway with him and two of the bridesmaids, and Nick proves himself to be the greatest friend of all time when he agrees in order to keep Schmidt from finding out about Cece. Fortunately for him, Schmidt calls the whole thing off because of Nick’s hoof-hands.

Let’s also take a moment to note that Nick is wearing tap shoes this whole episode, and you can hear them tapping faintly in the background as he walks. I have no wish to editorialize on this fact, but I feel that it is important you are aware of it.


Winston and Coach also have mini-plot lines, but they are too boring and minimal to recap. We’re all agreed that New Girl is wasting two incredibly talented comic actors, right?

Well, gang, we’re off! And who knows what lies ahead? Will Cece and Schmidt get back together? (Yes.) Will Nick and Jess get back together? (Probably not this season.) Will Winston and Coach ever get their own storylines and character development? (Who knows!) Hit me up with your predictions for New Girl season 4 in the comments.