Part 1 of 2: Rachel Takes a Holliday

So, here’s what you missed on Glee: Mr Shue catches the flu and is replaced by substitute Holly Holliday. Rachel tries to take over the glee club but it is replaced by Holly at the urging of Kurt, who also wants Mercedes to get with the love program so he can get with his own love program with Blaine. Mercedes just wants her Tater Tots, Terri just wants to get back with Will (hey, Jessalyn Gilsig!) and I just want Gwyneth Paltrow back where she came from. GOOP off, Holly!

 

Heeeeerrrrre’s Holly! No offence, GPal, but would it kill you to use some conditioner? I can’t even start to look at your clothes until you do something about your hair.

 

Hair like cotton candy aside, where Kate Hudson’s Cassandra had killer abs, Holly has killer pins. Here we see her showing them off in a tiny, trendy, INAPPROPRIATE puppytooth mini.

 

See? Killer legs. I will admit the turtleneck and boots are very sexy in a nineties sort of way, but would it kill you to add some accessories, Holly? Other than foils or wine?

 

That’s more like it! The button-down would be bland on its own, but the necktie-style scarf gives it a littleje ne sais quoi. Don’t ask me what’s going on with the turned up collar (or do, because I think it undermines the whole look and makes GPal look like a crazy Wall Streeter).

 

Thank gosh Ms Holiday has a winning personality, because her wardrobe is drabulous – excluding the occasional pop of genius/necktie-style madness. Black, grey, black, grey…

 

More black, more grey, more black, more grey…apparently this is Holly in her more sensible days, but I don’t see much difference between this and current Holly. She’s wearing tight clothes over baggy rather than baggy clothes over baggy, but that’s about it. Either is nasty.

 

Her Mary Todd Lincoln impression, however? Flawless.

 

I’ve seen better, Gwyneth. I’m just saying (A for effort, thanks for playing) from Chenoweth and Menzel, but you did your best. You sang in the rain, you forgot Cee Lo’s girlfriend, and you’ll be back to sing inappropriate Gary Glitter songs and disturb us all again soon.

Please have a free hot oil treatment on your way out.

 

That said, there is one scene in the show where Holly looks absolutely stunning, and it’s in this homage to Chicago. There’s just something about fur…and sequins…and fringe…

Oh, hi Rachel! You look lovely too.

 

The Queen of Type A is worse than ever this episode, but she does look pretty doing it. Is her sweater umbrella in reference to the New Directions wet ‘n’ wild performance later on?

 

She definitely beats Holly in the turtleneck department, anyway. A little French navy here, a little red pea coat there (and a little Beyoncé hair flip, for which she gets twenty points and a puppy). I’m loving the surgical mask, very Scrubs chic.

 

Oh God. Rachel, honey, please never pair grey with beige again. You look a wall. Or a floor.

Or a parking lot with some beautiful bangs.

 

She may even have Holly beat in the killer legs section, to be honest. The Little Bo Peep pink dress would be cute anyway, but its high hemline makes it sexy (cuexy? Scute?)

 

Nothing more to add, Your Honour, except that I spy a lovely pattern on this blouse. It’s still rather blah, though, and needs fur…and sequins…and fringe.

In other words, it’s time to move on to Mercedes.